I Feel God In This Chili’s Tonight

Meg (she/her)

[netherworldpost]

"does it have to be queer"

yes, next question, unless the next question is "why", in which case I am pulling the lever

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Could it be more queer?

[netherworldpost]

(To my personal assistant) Increase the sea salted wolverine’s budget

[darkandstormydolls]

I was talking to my mom about John Green today and I mentioned that “he’s still on tumblr” and she asked why that would be weird and I said that no one is on tumblr these days, “except him and I guess me”

So

I don’t know what all of you guys are doing here, because clearly this website is occupied only by me and John Green

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

just the two of us / we can make it if we try.

[silvermoon424]

UNFATHOMABLY based hive mother. Let's pour one out for our fallen bee comrades.

[massachusetts-official]

A modern Massachusetts classic

Official Post of Massachusetts

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

<3 NOT ALL HEROES WEAR CAPES <3

[bartfargo]

Look at that face

She'll do it again if they try it again

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

AS SHE SHOULD :D

[chronocrump]

[introspectivememories]

jaskier and warlord of the north!geralt being forced into a arranged marriage or warlord!geralt falling for a simple bard or jaskier fleeing for safety and charming the keep full of witchers especially their leader or jaskier saving a little girl and meeting her father who just so happens to be the warlord of the north..... you guys are recreating slop manhwa from its first principles

[thedemonofcat]

Geralt and Jaskier are forced to travel through a forest that sits squarely within Fae territory, a fact that has been steadily fraying Geralt's nerves since they crossed the border.

Because Jaskier is exactly the sort of person the Fae would adore.

Bright, curious, charming, endlessly willing to follow a strange song into the trees or accept directions from a talking fox. Practically gift-wrapped for kidnapping.

Which means that, for the foreseeable future—at least until they finally leave the forest behind—Geralt spends an alarming amount of time stopping Jaskier from wandering off with suspiciously beautiful strangers, chasing impossible music, or following glowing lights that are very obviously a trap.

Jaskier insists he's perfectly capable of taking care of himself.

Geralt has already had to drag him away from three flower circles, two mysterious feasts, and one brook that kept calling him by name.

It's been less than a day.

[no-terfs-no-swerfs-no-fascists]

We have no choice but to stan a queen 💪❤️👑

[themainspoon]

Trying to escape military service like: "Poison Seller, I require your weakest poisons."

[dumbtrannybitch]

it's actually so amazing she helped save the lives of the honorable men who did not wish to fight, while killing the most vile men, that is so fucking based

[darkverrmin]

Geralt uses the gossip he gets from Jaskier to help him get paid for this contracts.

Jaskier likes to gossip and he has a lot of secret and compromising information about everyone and Geralt listens to him when he talks about it, even when he's pretending not to.

So when some noble or mayor refuses to pay Geralt for a job, because he thinks he can get away with it, Geralt is like:

"Oh, fine... Guess your wife won't mind to hear you slept with her sister".

And just like that, he gets paid.

***

Bonus: he tells jaskier about it later and jaskier finds it hilarious

[darkverrmin]

Strong Jaskier who doesn't realize how strong he is?

Carrying an injured Geralt on his back like a sack of potatoes, muttering something about reckless witchers.

***

Geralt lifting one of Jaskier’s bags to pass it to the bard, almost tripping because of how heavy it is.

***

Jaskier, bathing shirtless in the river, showing off his ripped torso: Why can't we just go around? I don't want to climb another mountain, Geralt! I'm a delicate man!

Geralt, internally: eyes on his face, eyes on his face

***

Geralt refuses to take a medicine the healer gave him. "I'm fine, Jaskier. It will heal on its ow-"

Jaskier tackling Geralt to the ground, pinning him down. Both knees on Geralt’s shoulders, holding his mouth open, as he forces him to take the medicine. Yes, the same way you give medicine to a cat.

***

Kicking Geralt out of the bed, when the Witcher tries to steal the blanket back.

***

Knocking Geralt down on his ass, when Geralt tries to drag him out of the bed in the morning.

***

Lambert: C'mon, just hit me. I want to see how you throw a punch.

Jaskier: Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you.

Lambert: *snorts* You won't hurt me, bard, c'mon.

Jaskier: ...Okay, then. Here goes nothing. *knocks Lambert unconscious*

[marvagon]

Eskel, watching the scene unfold:

[yeerific]

He's a professional spy

[redjennies]

okay you know those posts that are like "this male character archetype would be better as a woman"? you know what we need more of? female loudmouth braggart hero antagonists. women who are cocky and comedically vainglorious and beloved by the public and also objectively suck so fucking bad. I'm not kidding. I don't care how sexist the audience would be about that. I want to see a woman who should be played by whoever the female equivalent of Nathan Fillion is.

[transcyberism]

no one ever did it like her

[cryptotheism]

Cartoon bully with a black skull t shirt transitions into a woman. New shirt. Skull over each breast.

[theterribletenno]

So is she still a bully or did she figure out the source of her insecurities and fix it?

[cryptotheism]

She is a bad person who hurts people for fun.

[egberts]

the world's smallest carnivore is called the "least weasel" 😭😭 i'm dying but like if it's the smallest carnivore then it sure is the least amount of weasel you can have 😭😭😭

[sator-the-wanderer]

Look at him: this is absolutely the least amount of weasel you can have

[daughterofsarenrae]

To really put it in perspective

[rylandsgrace]

[kindahoping4forever]

LukeHemmings: The last two months in 30 seconds

[visenyaism]

Honestly fuck AI for making me have to go on and on defending the dignity of toil like I’m some kind of protestant

[visenyaism]

idle minds go to slop. get thee away from chatbot sacrament. not ensouled

[klimtsonian]

“And what kind of king would Camelot want?” 🏰⚔️🐉