[itsjustaplantman-blog]

[lastsonlost]

upgrade 

[im-in-way-2many-fandoms]

I can’t wait till this is on my dash again on December 24th tbh.

[shisasan]

𝙰𝚞𝚐𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝟷𝟻, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟸 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝙾𝚏 𝙵𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚣 𝙺𝚊𝚏𝚔𝚊, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟶 -𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟹

[ID: August 15. Wasted day. Spent sleeping and lying down. END ID]

[laylajordan]

[itsjustaplantman-blog]

[lastsonlost]

upgrade 

[im-in-way-2many-fandoms]

I can’t wait till this is on my dash again on December 24th tbh.

[chamotea]

Baby wolves and 🐺🐺🐺

[thistlearts]

Are we doing Repostober here? Well I'm definitely doing it. Here's my old Geraskier art with strong autumn vibes.

[teaboot]

One time I read that post that goes "once upon a time an adult put you on the ground and never picked you up again" and it made me sad so now I lift everyone. I'm 5'3" and kinda dumpy but the trick is to plant your feet, get 'em in a gable grip low near the hips with your knees bent, and then just tuck in your Elbows and straighten your legs. Gets those fuckers right on up there. I'm the oldest of eight and also the shortest but that sad shit lives with me so I'm hauling around these kids around like it's nothing. My little brother is a hockey player and a full head taller. I carried him around when he was a baby and I carried him around last weekend. My Papa is a 230lb Bavarian man who watches Stargate in a bath robe, he's smoked a pack a day for forty years. You think I haven't lifted him? I have. He said I couldn't do it but I did. God didn't give me social skills but I'm full of love and jacked as hell and he's not here to stop me

[teaboot]

I met so many oldest siblings when I worked funerals and it always seemed like in big families the youngest passed first and the oldest ones would up being the last ones left and I'm *terrified* of outliving all these rugrats, so I make sure to joke about how I'm def gonna die first and leave them will all kinds of shit to take care of so *they* can pick up after *me* for once and I'm gonna make it complicated and boring on purpose, mostly so they have something to laugh about when I kick it, one last joke to set up, one final punchline, and like

I wonder

Do I want them to know it was all on purpose?

Do I want them to be certain, when I'm gone, that everything was planned? Not a first draft, or a sketch, but an elaborate contraption a lifetime in the making?

There are things that don't bother me in the least that I will kick up a dramatic, comedic fuss about so they feel they got to "get me". Reoccurring bits and inside jokes they have no idea I set up just to build off of.

And when I *do* go, will those stories be told at the wake? Will I have a great-grand niece someday, hearing their parent talk about some old dead bag they never knew who was short as hell and, used to lift everyone off the ground just because they could, for no reason at all? To prove how strong they were, maybe?

I hope so.

I hope the person I'm making for them is the absolute best. I hope I give them so many good memories to share. I hope I become so many funny stories for someone else to tell someday.

'Cause these guys won't have me around forever, and there's gonna be days where they'll need to keep laughing.

[teaboot]

You know, my siblings and I weren't always on good terms.

Our parents were always at work, and when they were home they were at each other's throats. We lived in the middle of nowhere. I was a snappy, brooding, sarcastic little baby emo, and a know-it-all on top of that, and they could be heartless, cruel little monsters when they wanted to be, and locked up alone together with me in charge we'd build up like a pressure cooker that always seemed to end in screaming and cursing and tears.

I've said some truly, unbelievably awful things.

And you know my brother, the hockey guy? We got into a knife fight once.

But we grew up. Our parents spilt. We moved on. We moved away. I gained the ability to let go of the bitter feelings, and decided that if there was a person in my life I thought I needed, maybe I could become that person, and maybe be that person for people like I was.

Not to set myself up as some kind of Saint. I'm not a well of endless patience. I'm still brittle sometimes, and my social battery runs out fast, and I don't have it in me to visit as often as my heart says I should, and I'm emotionally distant and lazy and kind of a mess, but I'm happier than I used to be. Hell, they're happier than they used to be. We were in a bad place, but we got out.

I'm sorry you didn't have the person you needed when you needed them, but that time is gone. You aren't going to get any do-overs.

But are you going to make more people feel like you, now? Or are you going to give someone a world where good things happen?

[my-jokes-are-my-armour]

Cute Joey overload - Part 22

Just take a dose of sunshine 🥰

Bonus 1 : him being gallant and kissing the crowd

(Also I am about the same height as Lauren so, I would probably only reach his shoulder too 😅)

Bonus 2 : extra shy 🥰😭!

[remakesihavetoremake-deactivate]

I know everybodys talking about the article but its this tweet itself that makes me lose my shit

[loismacgiver-deactivated2018061]

tinder link in bio.

[swoopyswish]

the replies:

[newtgeiszler]

*tapes scissors to my dick* why won’t anyone fuck me, edward scissordick?

[funnelcloudd]

[probably-crazy-writer]

I’m sobbing

[kleefkruid]

I love going trough the notes every time bc there’s always someone in the notes insisting we’re all mean and that you can just wear thick dish gloves over your fake nails as if I wouldn’t assume you’re going to Patrick Bateman my ass if you walked into the bedroom with claws and yellow rubber gloves

[ballzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz]

[ihavemace]

[awkwardeccentric]

I always think of this classic

[basskier]

I've been gone for months bc "life" but I'm assuming something nice happened in the good omens fandom

[firebendinglemur]

Me: -so after it became apparent that ‘retarded’ had become a term of abuse, educators and psychiatrists switched to other terms like ‘handicapped’ or ‘special needs’ in an attempt to -

George Orwell, whom I’ve dragged forward in time with my arcane powers because I’m lonely and want someone to talk to: You have a telephone in your pocket?  It listens to you all the time?

Me: Never mind about that, the point is, young people now mock each other by sending the wheelchair emoji - that’s a type of electronic heiroglyph - to suggest mental deficiency and shout SPESHUL!!!! while doing offensive imitations of disabled facial expressions and posture.  So any attempt to lexographically make crimethink impossible is pretty much doomed because the meaning of words in everyday conversation can’t be controlled by a dictionary entry, no matter how many Ministry of Truth employees-

Orwell: It reports your location to the telephone company at all times?

[witharsenicsauce]

[havartia]

[scrunchie-face]

Ok but both the additions actually miss the point of the original, which is that Orwell is fixating on something which is actually MORE RELEVANT to his concerns than the language issue

[triviallytrue]

#I bring Alan Turing back from the dead#I show him GPT-3 and ask him if he thinks it passes the Turing test#and ask him what he thinks of our computers that are billiona of times as powerful as his#but all he can say#with unmitigated tears of joy in his eyes#is#you mean to tell me that they legalized homosexuality?

(via @compiler-specific)

[marinella-ela]

[phoenixwrites]

#that giraffe is being so cute and curious and gentle#and that is running full speed because this is the worst fucking day if his LIFE#like IMAGINE having your butt gently scooted by the snoot of a pressence so massive#your body is not designed to even see high enough to see the top of#abd hes just gently nudging you along as you run for your life as fast as your legs can carry you#giraffe is playing humans are enjoying turtle is living out a cosmic horror story

[pickleforstony]

S3E8 gave me strong cafe AU vibes.

[access-point-deactivated2024100]

Is anybody else still crying over Inkpot Gods in 2023 or are you normal

[astoryisaloveaffair]

[afeelgoodblog]

[dave-youf00l-deactivated2015122]

Neither Courage Wolf nor Calming Manatee were doing much to help my anxiety, but I knew they were both on to something.

So, I created Calmage Wolfatee.

[sawing4teens]

<3

[requirecookie]

This is glorious beyond my capacity to comprehend.