Bruce: What do you call disobeying the law?
Jason: A hobby.
Bruce: *crosses his arms*
Jason: That we do not engage in.
Xuebing Du

Love Begins
trying on a metaphor
we're not kids anymore.
Fai_Ryy
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Kiana Khansmith

⁂
noise dept.
Keni
occasionally subtle
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
$LAYYYTER

JVL

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No title available
untitled
Cosimo Galluzzi
Three Goblin Art

Andulka
seen from United States

seen from United States
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seen from United States

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seen from Iraq
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@batkidsandco
Bruce: What do you call disobeying the law?
Jason: A hobby.
Bruce: *crosses his arms*
Jason: That we do not engage in.
Brothers going to the gym
Barbara: Give a man fire and he'll be warm for a day.
Jason: Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Barbara: I don't think that's how it goes...
Everyone in Gotham City knows when Edward Nygma's birthday is.
How could they not? He's an egocentric man with the technological skills to hack and broadcast through a most devices with a screen.
First comes The Speech - a half-hour spiel about why this day should be celebrated.
Idk what comes next tbh, my (good) ideas are running out.
Fuck it I played Arkham Knight recently and I need to talk about it.
some drunk idiots send him a cake at wherever he was operating out of that day and he legitimately broke down crying
Wait I fucking love this
That time Tim ended up in a world with a homophobic Batman 😭.
Dark Crisis: Young Justice #2
:D
CRUSH IS THIRSTY FOR THE LESBIAN SHORK <3
"I'm gonna boop da snoot"
Loooool love crush "anything I can do to repay you?"
"Introduce me to the fine ass babe beside you amd we'll call it even."
"Just call me a VPN
'cause I'm gonna surf that shark :D"
I hope their relationship is happier then Constantine’s was with king shark.
Also love her not paying her dads bail lol, fuck ‘em
Lobo: ur gonna bail me out, right?
Crush: I'll pay the bail of anyone who stabs you in jail
Tim + his brothers
Damian’s menagerie but it’s just animals he’s using to replace his brothers.
Jason: Batcomputer, stop showing me beautiful women in my area. I want pathetic men in my radius.
Damian: Perhaps the answer is within yourself.
oh god sudden thought
so as per various DC social media concepts Clark has a Superman twitter where he posts left-leaning but fairly safe & tame stuff e.g. happy pride from Superman. Clark Kent also has his own twitter account where he posts his actual opinion.
what happens if uh. what happens if he forgets which account he's logged into.
scenario 1: what's clearly an official Superman post pops up on some rando journalist's twitter and is noticed before he can delete it. leads to controversy when people conclude that Superman has hired this Clark Kent person to do his social media. Clark now has to deal w the fact that everyone thinks he's Superman's social media manager. employers at the Daily Planet very confused as to why he didn't tell them about his side gig
scenario 2: world wakes up to Superman tweeting about how he hates the police
Scenario 2: “world wakes up to Superman tweeting about how he hates the police” and then the Shazam twitter account starts agreeing with him and that’s how the world finds out that two of the most powerful heros both hate the police
Billy, seeing what Superman just tweeted: oh cool we're allowed to say fuck the police now!!
Someone tweets if Bruce Wayne pays taxes, and Bruce accidentally replies with his Batman account with a simple "Yes", so people start to think that besides beating up villains, Batman also spends his time staring menacingly at billionaires while they fill their taxes to make sure there's no creative accounting going on
BruceWayneOfficial: yes, the rumors are true. Batman is my accountant.
Ok but the image of Batman staring down billionaires as they pay their taxes is very funny.
Some jaybins for the soul
How the Batkids became a Bat/Bird:
Bruce to Dick: Damn, poor kid
Bruce to Jason: Damn, poor kid
Bruce to Damian: Damn, my kid
Bruce to Duke: Damn, poor kid
Bruce to Cass: Damn, poor kid
Bruce to Tim: Da-
Tim to Bruce: Have you ever been blackmailed?
Some douchebag influencer decides to challenge one of the Waynes to an MMA fight, and he goes with Tim.
Big public announcement, making a big deal of it, mockingly suggesting the Waynes can donate the proceeds to charity, so long as Tim gets in the ring with him, and people are like, Tim? Tim Drake-Wayne, smallest of Bruce Wayne's kids, so baby-faced he looks like a high-schooler even in his early twenties Tim? And there's a huge kerfuffle, people calling the influencer out for going after someone way smaller than him, being a coward by not picking Bruce Wayne or even Dick Grayson, and people egging him on to beat up Bruce's 'girliest' kid and betting Tim will back down and "Daddy Wayne will just bring out the lawyers".
And then Tim says "yeah sure". And yes he DOES set it up so that the proceeds will go to the Neon Knights program, thank you very much, and he doesn't really hype up the fight or seem that worried about it online, and the influencer is talking constant shit and posting videos of him training to get ready to "beat little Timmy's ass", and he keeps trying to goad Tim online but the most he gets in response is Tim going "k".
The day of the fight, the venue is packed, the whole Wayne clan is there to cheer Tim on, medics are on stand-by for when Tim gets badly hurt, and everyone is So Ready for This. And the influencer is a big guy who's in shape, and he's won a few fights already, and Tim looks itty bitty next to him, but also he's a lot more fit than people were expecting? Like he's got more scars than people expected (which was zero) and he's got good muscle tone, and he squares up like an actual fighter, but he's still way smaller than the other guy.
Then the bell rings and Tim wipes the fucking floor with the influencer. He's fast and ruthless, and the influencer gets maybe two hits in before Tim is in his space and climbing him, locking his legs around the guy's neck and throwing him to the ground with his momentum. The fight is fast, which people expected, but it's because Tim hammers the guy and takes him down before he knows what's happening, which people did NOT expect.
Afterwards, people are trying to break down the fight and figure out what the FUCK happened, and one retired MMA fighter admits he pretty much knew it was going to turn out like this.
"Bullshit," the other commentator goes. "Bullshit! How could you have possibly known that Bruce Wayne's kid was a fighter like that?"
"One," the guy says, grinning, "the kid's a Gotham native. Gotham natives fight tooth and nail, even the richer ones. Two, he's said before in interviews that he took self-defense classes as a kid."
"Oh bullshit, plenty of kids take karate classes growing up-"
"Yeah, but 'plenty of kids' don't have a non-meta kid sidekick running around their city. You know how Star City has some of the best youth archery classes in the country? And how that came about after Speedy came on the scene?"
"Oh my god," the other commentator mutters. "Drake's a fucking Robin fanboy, isn't he."
The retired fighter grins wider. "Is he ever. So he's been taking self-defense and martial arts classes from a young age. Then he got taken in by Bruce Wayne, who's first son was raised as a world-class acrobat before Wayne took him in, and since then he's become an Olympic gold medalist for gymnastics, and now he's Tim's big brother.
"And the piece de resistance," the fighter says gleefully, "head of Wayne Enterprises R&D and close personal friend of Bruce Wayne is Lucius Fox, who's daughter briefly dated Tim and who's oldest son is Luke motherfuckin' Fox, one of the best MMA fighters I've ever seen."
"Oh my god," the other man repeats.
"So on top of learning martial arts for years, that's two people directly in Tim's circle who are top-tier athletes, who I'm damn sure wouldn't have let him in that ring without knowing how to handle his shit."
"...So Brad's lucky he made it out of that ring with all his bones intact."
"Damn lucky, even."
Jason: Hey Tim, do you think I look better in person or in pictures?
Tim: In theory
Jason:...
Tim: In the dark too
Jason: Hell is filled with people like you and I'm not lying I have been there
Cass: I sleep with a knife under my pillow.
Damian: Oh yeah? I sleep with my sword in my hands.
Tim: Really, you two?
Damian: Then what do you sleep with?
Tim: Conner.
Cassandra: My dad has access to mine and my brothers' bank accounts and accidentally took money out of one of my brother's savings instead of his own to pay the mortgage and now every time we tell my brother to do something he says, "You can't talk to me like that in my house."
kon: are you upset you don’t get to be on the same team as damian? tim: have you ever played any game with damian? kon: no… tim: have you ever been trapped in a cage with a wolverine? *meanwhile, on the other side of the field* damian, chasing jon: I SAID FASTER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD “FASTER” MEANS? IT MEANS MORE FAST!!!!