bitch-king of angmar

29. vampire appreciator and saw girly

[batking-lich]

i'm bats, i talk about books a lot & i am Very Normal about the saw movies

my book liveblogs are all archived on my website, it's probably a lot easier to go dig through there than my tumblr if you wanna read older ones. occasionally i'll run polls on what to liveblog, those are all tagged #liveblog poll. i tend to reblog them throughout the day so people see them so you might wanna mute that tag if they get a little too annoying lol

feel free to look at my creatures on dragon cave, magistream, and the final outpost

[dykeferatu]

pluto (the celestial body) told me that it’s actually kind of upsetting how much you guys insist on her being a planet. she says it feels like you don’t like her for who she is and you’d prefer an imagined version of her instead. what’s so terrible about being a dwarf planet, she asked me. does she have to be a “real” planet to be worthy of love?

[wollymight]

silly comic I made this morning

[faustique]

there's a special place in my heart for people who made an effort to be my friend regardless of how quiet or distant i can get at times

[subaru-copilot]

im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams

[52stations]

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'

[arnieinthesky]

Visit Original Link

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

I wouldn’t even need the incentive of the gom jabbar I’d keep my hand in the pain box just to impress a scary bald woman tbh

[infertilityidol]

*introducing myself to the guards who caught me* seized to meet you

[cheacegirl]

The average straight monogamous person will expect their partner to never talk to half the world population ever again out of jealousy then turn around and genuinely ask you to specify "ethical polyamory" because otherwise they can't help but assume the worst

[cheacegirl]

Happy pride to the post that turns the average Tumblr user into a pearl clutching conservative

[prokopetz]

It's fine to disagree with the IAU about the definition of "planet"; however, if your definition includes Pluto but not Ceres, Orcus, Haumea, Quaoar, Makemake, Gonggong, Eris or Sedna, you don't actually care what a planet is – you just want the exact list of nine planets you learned in primary school back. Your cute little Pluto-including orbital distance mnemonic ought to be at least seventeen words long, and good fucking luck with the Q!

[thefiresontheheight]

My Very Exciting Magic Carpet Just Sailed Under Nine Orphic Palaces, Slandering Hungry Quaker Matrons Going Erotically Southward.

[prokopetz]

I appreciate that you included Salacia but not Charon – really threading the needle pedantry-wise there.

[iykury]

iy think any planetary-mass object should be called a planet. the moon is a planet. so are the galilean moons. ganymede is bigger than mercury, so whiy not? just because it happens to orbit another planet too? a star can orbit another star, so whiy can't a planet orbit another planet?

[prokopetz]

Sometimes when I'm feeling especially contrary I'll advocate for a definition of "planet" which includes the inner planets, the trans-Neptunians, and all planetary-mass moons, but specifically excludes Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune.

[despazito]

Sometimes I'll be looking at bullshit online that I know will just rile me up and I have to think of this image to get myself to stop

[pierppasolini]

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe - The Greatest Show on Eternia

[goth-queen]

[rattleboneses]

Finally, some good Public Access inspiration

[boybeetles]

[ofdirtandbones]

oooooo what a cool post my mutual just reblogged ! I think I will reblog it as well !!! oooooh who did they reblog it from ? That username seems familiar,,, hohoho it's me ! from an hour ago !

[homunculus-argument]

The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.

And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and

[thekijs]

His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.

However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.

That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.

[weaselle]

yuh i was there, that's how it happened