What do who call me when?

Meg. 30. She/her. I have a lot of interests. I'm super into Robin Hobb's books, and fantasy writing in general. Sometimes I watch enourmous amounts of anime. I will always reblog a nice puppy.

[goetic-justice]

You guys are always like "being crushed by 10,000 tons of rock probably feels good as hell" or "being torn to pieces by hunting dogs would low key fix me" and I feel like those things would actually be unpleasant.

[goetic-justice]

How about "Drinking an ice cold strawberry milkshake probably feels good as hell". Do you guys like that one.

[dragongirlsweetie]

it's actually so crazy how much the simpsons would fucking suck if it didn't have any of the simpsons characters. just a bunch of shots of empty houses and streets for half an hour while nothing happens. that would be so badddd lol

[auroroboros1]

yeah that tends to happen when you remove characters from media. without characters its all just background. i guess movies set in scenic locations would still land as kinda nature docs but even then

[dragongirlsweetie]

it only happens with the simpsons

[auroroboros1]

this same criticism could be applied to nearly any media ever.

[dragongirlsweetie]

it's just the simpsons. are you a troll?

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Dragon's right, if you remove all the Simpsons characters from Death Note it hardly changes anything

[dungeonsex2026]

black sails season 2 is the best season of television ever made. in a single episode you have civil war breaking out among the pirates and politics being reinvented by people who’ve divorced themselves from civilization. the b plot is polyamory drama not dissimilar to the kind that can be found on bravo tv and features crazy lesbian sex but also some guy is there. interspersed in all of this are flashbacks of one of the most beautiful and tragic queer love stories you’ve ever seen. and to top it all off, billy bones comes back from the dead. the perfect show in every way

[mangled-by-disuse]

in happier pride news i actually found this deeply heartwarming

that's solidarity baybeeee

[lgbtlaughs]

Further context: Durham city council (Reform UK) cut funding and support for Pride. The Durham Miner's Association and other trade unions raised enough money for Durham Pride 2026 to go ahead - a direct call back to when Lesbian and Gays Support the Miners (LGSM) raised money for mining communities when Margaret Thatcher seized union funding during the miner strikes of 1984-85.

At the 1985 Labour party meet, the motion to support LGBT rights as a party was passed due to a block vote from mining unions.

Stephen Guy, the chair of the Durham Miners’ Association, said that when it became apparent Durham Pride was under threat, he took it upon himself to “encourage the trade union movement to step up and do the right thing, and stand shoulder to shoulder with the LGBT+ community […] They not only raised funds for us, but came to our communities, uplifted our spirits when they were down, and showed their solidarity.”

[wildehacked]

things in fic I'm used to people kind of faking their way through writing about:

the city of los angeles

the city of new york

sex

how drinking alcohol works

how getting high works

how a child of any age speaks

how nuclear physics work

how [my job] works

how debilitating being shot in the shoulder is

how hypothermia works

things I have never before seen someone fake their way through writing about, until today:

what french toast is

[headspace-hotel]

read through the notes on this one trust me

[kiragecko]

Here's some of the notes, starting with the things multiple people brought up:

SHRIMP COCKTAIL:

banahbanah: #flashback to that one fic where Peter Parker frets about drinking shrimp cocktail because of the alcohol

generaldeliciousness: adding: what a prawn/shrimp cocktail is

#why is your character turning it down because they're under 21 #do you think prawn cocktail is a cocktail #this lives in my brain rent-free constantly #the rest of the fic was so normal #and good enough that i'll still re-read it #but bro

And then many, MANY, people wondering if this was actually authour mistake, since Peter really would do this!

POMEGRANATES:

zhajhassa: #haha where's that post that was like someone describing someone eating a pomegranate but they ate it like an apple

thornhands: #once someone wrote persephone biting into a whole Pomegranate #had to stop and stare at a wall for a minute

sungsingsanguine: I once saw someone very confidently write about a character eating slices of pomegranate.

FRUIT TREES:

zagreuses-toast: #given a very endearing glimpse into a writers blindspots by seeing them describe someone sitting under a ''pineapple tree''

salatrash: I remember something about picking watermelons... OF A FUCKING TREE

baander: #cranberry trees

DOUGH/BATTER:

maycelium: #I'm a chef so I'm really used to people not accurately describing how to cook food #But I was surprisingly flabbergasted when someone was writing making a cake and was kneading it. Which uh #Not necessary for cake. It was interesting for sure but just bizarre

livebloggingmydescentintomadness: #the one that drove me nuts was when a character set aside a batch of PASTA DOUGH 'to rise' #pasta doesn't have yeast!! #it does need to REST but it will never RISE #you do not want an airy crumb on your noodles

lovesodeepandwideandwell: #THE ONE WHERE THEY MADE COOKIES BY LADLING BATTER INTO A TRAY

Some other topics:

ANIMALS:

catenarwhal: #mandatory 'how cows produce milk' mention#i'll never recover from that one I fear

piromantic: #one time i saw someone fake their way through describing how spiders behave

pluto-lichen: horses

misskittypotter: #stardew valley faking its way through what fresh fish smell like

pa-pa-plasma: #saw someone faking their way through knowing what a seal is once #i still am fucked up over that one to this day. they just straight up did not know #& they were NOT good at guessing it either like it was clear they had never googled that animal ever #& was only just now realizing via answering questions from anons that seals are not!! what they assumed. initially

SEX:

dykevandyke: #what a prostate is #and where it is located #as in. external.

dreamyeyedrose: #I remember back in the ff.net days reading an Ichigo/Renji fic where the writer assumed the penises go inside each other #and I was like “I mean I don't know how it works for sure I don't have one but idk if that's how it works”

SOME OTHER FOOD STUFF:

thetrekkiehasthephonebox: #add another one to the list bloggers#this character is cooking a salad

shosta: #still baffled about the published work that didn't know food could freeze

sun-dari: #once i read a fic where the author didn't understand cinnamon

alto-tenure: #read something recently where the author was just. blatantly wrong about spices

dramatic-dolphin: #i saw someone try to fake their way through what ramen is once. like 14 years ago.#but i remember.#i was very confused about ramen for a few months. they were writing it so authoritatively.

the-celery-stalks-at-midnight: #i will never ever forget someone putting leftover fries in the microwave to reheat them and setting the timer for five minutes

typeghost: #this sparked a memory of a hannibal fic where the author had to fake their way through writing about gravy

draculin: #the one fanfic where the author knows about coffee only as a concept wrote a character as a coffee drinker#was very interesting#I don't remember the fandom or the plot but I was mesmerized by the coffee actions and choices

11235811235811: #there's a lot of faking their way thru congee in the svsss fandom i'll also note

fishali3n: #read one where the person clearly didnt know what tofu is

emmy-everafter: #in the aftermath of shadow and bone s2 i saw a lot of people pretending to know what stroopwafels are #babes they are more like cookies than breakfast waffles #like yes there is a waffle pattern but you're not gonna cut into a stack of them with syrup and sugar#🤣🤣🤣

NON-FOOD STUFF:

red-umbrella-811: Shoutout to Dame Agatha Christie for faking her way through what a wrench is in a very popular published work.

bluebeetle: #once saw someone have a character put an entire phone book in their pocket

nonametis: #- sex talk in languages other than english #<- or just the petnames in a different language other than English

sadisticpony: #the fanfiction i saw this week where op DIDNT KNOW HOW AUTOMATIC DOORS WORKED #and that they arent in peoples homes!!! of course. also opening the automatic door for someone is unironically very funny but its not #its not like. grabbing the door handle to let someone in. helpppp

danmeichael: #reminds me of the fic with the figure drawing class where the character started with the feet. #i love you feet first figure drawing author

meowmix1100blr: #me watching this one fic absolutely obliterate what the board of directors does

vexedhexes: #one time i read an architect character making a doorway bigger by building a bigger door #what a beautiful world. #OH. also gravity falls fic where they go 'oh piedmont is in california so its warm all year round'

leveragehunters: #characters going to a beer garden #And it's literally a garden outside the pub#It was a very cute mistake

fitofpique: #yes! #grown men do not get blind drunk off two beers #but i am possibly guilty of the hypothermia one #assuming it does not make you very horny?

dadvans-likes: #always thinking abt the soup kitchen fic #the entire setting of the fic was 'soup kitchen' #and i very quickly realized #the author did not know what a soup kitchen was #and they thought that soup kitchens only served soup #fic

msmargaretmurry: #i love fanfiction #once read a fic where the characters played 20 questions #but the author seemed to not know how to play 20 questions and was just kind of winging it........ #immaculate

shakespeareaddict: #Look I know not all of us are hockey experts #But it takes about ten seconds of research or any attention paid to the show to realize #That the Stanley cup playoffs are not in fucking September

baejax-the-great: #the funniest one i saw #was someone faking what church is like #like 1. they really didn't have to write an entire church experience for their fic #and 2. they had clearly never even watched a show where people went to church #it was bonkers weird

twosunson: #things ive seen authors faking #knowing how to unclog a drain #knowing. literally any history #knowing what ketamine looks like (apparently- oregano) #(you know who you are)

waterhorseyblues-ao3: #beltane being celebrated in winter #wales being portrayed as a completely separated land from england (i wish) #characters getting up after weeks of bedrest like that dosnt completely fuck you up

violetfairydust: #i once read a fic where the flight time from london to seattle was 3 hours

purekesseltrash: One time, in a fic set specifically in Des Moines, IA, two of the characters casually drove 20 minutes to the ocean. The memory continues to delight me. I want to know where that author thought that Iowa was.

[mark-gently]

NDA stands for Non't Dalk Aboutit

[onmywayoutokay-deactivated20240]

this is what i mean when i say "sniles so sneetly" btw

[onmywayoutokay-deactivated20240]

i appear to have infected 14k people with the phrase "sniling so sneetly". it makes me grin. snile, even. perhaps sneetly

[thoodleoo]

extremely funny when students get really into some harmless "vintage" activity to the point of absurdity. right now it's hacky sack, which is not something i ever thought i would see my students playing en masse. and yet here they are organizing competitive hacky sack teams. taking over any space they can to kick a hacky sack around. i had to chase a group to morning assembly today because they were busy playing hacky sack. just saw one of my students sending an email that said "stop adding randos to our team they're the worst sackers." 2026 year of the hacky sack ig

[succumbing-song]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

[wizardarchetypes]

was at the corner store getting a few snacks and a 7 year old with a single packet of two poptarts struck up a conversation with me while I was choosing between Chex mix flavors. weighed in on the flavors. They continued to follow me through the store all the way to checkout and stood there talking to me at the register so the cashier thought they were my kid and I finally said “are you possibly hoping for someone to buy those poptarts” and they pulled out a WAD of cash and said “nope just talking to ya.”

absolutely enchanting child no notes

[thatdisasterauthor]

Listening to the local fire department radios as they rescue a cat in a sewer. Here's how it's going:

FD: We can see the cat. Do you have an ETA on animal control?

Dispatch: Twenty minutes.

FD: Alright, we think we can get the cat.

Dispatch: Copy, we'll let animal control know.

FD several minutes later: We've got the cat.

Dispatch: Copy, do you still want--

FD, interrupting: Update, the cat DOES NOT like us.

Dispatch: ...so you do still want animal control, then?"

FD: Yes. Tell them the cat is in the engine.

Dispatch: ...are you also in the engine?

FD: Not anymore, no.

[asmuchasidliketo]

[devinellekurtz]

My very first tiger drawing and my latest

[formaldehydedoesstuff]

Your skill level is unquestionable but listen.

I love him.

[toasthaste-art]

me also. as well.

[devinellekurtz]

This is the COOLEST thing I’ve seen in AGES. You both completely made my entire week.

[normalfixation]

the looming spectre of yaoi is enough but lesbian sex has to literally happen onscreen. Just another thing black sails got perfectly right

[daughter-of-sapph0]

just killed the legendary hero while he was remembering his dead wife. fucking loser. he got distracted while imagining her laughing and smiling with him underneath thin bedsheets. what a dumb and cliche dead wife memory.

anyway i hit him with an eldritch blast while he wasn't looking. the dark wizard wins once again! nyehehehe

[daughter-of-sapph0]

wait, why is his party gathering around him like that? what are you doing? your leader is dead, you already lost!

[daughter-of-sapph0]

revival spells are fucking stupid cheater bullshit i hate you i hate you i hate you! making a youtube video essay rant on why you shouldn't use revival spells as im stuck in evil wizard prison

[daughter-of-sapph0]

actually, wait a minute. if his party had a revival spell, why not use it on his dead wife?! fucking bullshit stupid ass hero party. i hate them!

[tackminyard]

affirmations for my printer:

you are not out of paper

you have so much paper

it’s okay to function as intended

you are not out of ink

i just refilled that cartridge last month

you can connect to that computer you’re supposed to connect to

you’re allowed to print things

[laora-ryn]

Saw this license plate today and I'm still ugly laughing about it

[ilikethemwings]

[jeeyonshim]

an editor's job is to keep you humble