⤷ ゛Berry Bitty City is a network where our aim is to connect, grow and promote all kinds of creators no matter the fandom or craft - from fics to moodboards to graphics, it's guaranteed for an exciting adventure ˎˊ˗
So what are you waiting for? Think this is up your jam 🍓🥫🥄? Register for a berrykin account and start the game!
📬 have questions? send it through the information desk or reach out to our shop owners — @kwnnies, @myungmyng, @mxriitaesz 💌
ꕤ warnings: some cursing and slightly suggestive, mentions of toxic past relationships, alcohol mentioned. hugging and kissing but mostly just pure fluff.
ꕤ word count: 2.2k
ꕤ authors note: so excited for my first nct wish fic!! I hope you all enjoy it. The longest fic I've done yet, I'm quite happy with it and I think it sort of fits Sion. I can imagine him being a big softy once he really likes someone. anyway!! I hope all the wishzens enjoy. Any support is greatly appreciated x
ᢉ𐭩⋆˚࿔ currently playing: guys my age - Hey violet ᢉ𐭩⋆˚࿔
Relationships had never been your forte. Whenever you dated someone they always turned out to be dicks. They would cheat, manipulate and just be the worst possible idea of a boyfriend. Your last relationship ended on bad terms. He was the childish type. He kicked and screamed when you told him to do something or change how he acted, and then when you told him you wanted to end things the tantrums were even worse, talk about being a manchild. He had been cheating on you for months, he told that it was ‘just a mistake’ and that he ‘would never ever do it again just please don't leave him.’ All you could do was roll your eyes and pack your things. He tried calling you so many times, begging for you back but he wouldn't have changed. This time you didn't go back, this time you didn't feel bad. You were so done with being treated like you were nothing. You didn't deserve it, you deserved someone who gave a shit and you didn't deserve to spend the rest of your life with some inconsiderate prick. A good man who would treat you right felt like some sort of fairytale though, a needle in a haystack. You were officially done with dating, but that didn't really last for very long.
- - -
After moving into your own apartment you had to find a new job, it was this waitressing job at this fancy michelin star italian restaurant downtown. It paid enough to just cover the rent, bills and utilities so you were happy enough. The customers there were snobby and rude, they acted as if they were entitled to your soul, but it was good enough for you. Your apartment was a small, rustic building. Open plan with brick walls and an industrial vibe, like the apartments you would see in a 2000s romcom. It was perfect, a good fresh start and a place to call home. Finally.
- - -
It was a wednesday night, normally would be slow at work but you were practically swept off your feet. Customers were being sat left and right, it was the epitome of hell. You were sweating buckets and you couldn't get a chance to cool down, and then the hostess seats another table in your section. Luckily, it was only one man but he looked like someone who was going to be difficult. He was wearing a perfectly pressed suit, not a wrinkle or crease in sight. His hair combed and gelled, and glasses placed carefully on the bridge of his nose. You walk to his table with a smile and a menu in your hand. “Hi sir, how are you this evening? Here's a menu for you,” he didn't look up at you and just waved you away. You raise your eyebrows and just turn away. You knew it was another entitled asshole. You finally had a minute to yourself so you stepped outside for a breath of fresh air. It was about 8:30pm and summer so the sun was still beaming down on you, it was refreshing and calming, just what you needed considering how your evening was going.
- - -
You had been back inside for all of two seconds when the man in the suit waved you over to his table, you complied and put on a sickly sweet smile. “What can I get for you sir?” you say in the best customer service voice you can muster, he still didn't look at you. “Ill take a whiskey… on the rocks, and a steak, I want that rare.” His voice was monotone, boring but there was a hint of something else there, a nervousness. It was surprising, he seemed so sure of himself and uptight but maybe there was more to him. “Sure, ill get those in for you right away” you smile at him again, he looks up at you this time and gives you a small smile, barely there but enough for you to see.
You kept glancing over at the man throughout the entirety of your shift, there was something about him that had you in some sort of chokehold. That smile he gave you had you under this trance that you just couldn't shake. He came over to you to pay after he had finished his meal, paid by card, and then slipped you a twenty dollar bill and a small note with a number scrawled on it. Had this man seriously just handed you his number… you were in shock, but also intrigued, the urge to message was strong. You stuffed it in your pocket along with the twenty, maybe later.
- - -
Your shift finished at around 11pm and you headed out, it was dark now and the spring breeze was brisk. You slipped your hands into your pockets, the note was still there even if it was slightly crumpled. You pulled it out, reading the numbers on it over and over, considering whether you should text him or not. Dating was supposed to be out of the question but you were seriously considering this one. He seemed cold from what you had seen but something felt different this time, a kindness hidden under the facade somewhere. So you did it. Without a second thought you were typing his number in, you got half way, you stopped yourself, why would someone like him be interested in someone like you… ok what were you thinking this is stupid, why else would he hand you his number. You finish typing it in. What were you supposed to say, you had never been the one to make the first move, you weren't bold enough. You had stopped walking without realising, just stood still in the middle of the street staring at your phone. Recollecting yourself, you took a deep breath and started walking again.
- - -
It had been about 4 days and you still hadn't messaged the man. You just had no idea what to say. Sure he was hot, but that doesn’t make it easier. If anything it makes it harder. Your shift was busy, you hadn’t stopped since you clocked in. It was hot too, rays of evening sun burning through the windows of the restaurant. You were coming back from running food when you saw him. He was just standing at the bar talking to the bartender. God what was he doing here. You feel your cheeks get hot and you turn away. “Hey!! y/n this man was asking for you, come here.” fuck. You had no idea how you were gonna get yourself out of this one, so you just accepted fate and walked over.
He was smiling, this sly smile that had you melting slightly. He looked as well presented as he did the last time you two met. “How can I help you?” you didn't really know what else to say, your words came out in that sickly sweet customer service voice. He let out this low chuckle that again made you melt. There was something about him, something intoxicating that pulled you in. “i just wanted to see you doll” his eyes flicked up and down your body, his tongue wetting his lips slightly. His dark eyes were burning into yours. You couldn't hold his eye contact anymore, it was too intense, almost animalistic. “I didn't hear from you, I was worried.” your words had completely left you, you had been rendered useless just by the look of this man in front of you. It was ridiculous, you had never had this reaction to someone simply talking to you before. “No words huh? That's ok, let me do the talking.” he might as well undress you right there, the eye fucking was becoming insane. “I’ll pick you up after you shift, I'll treat you to some dinner if you'd like.” You still couldn't speak. He stared at you for longer this time, expecting for you to speak. “Ok yea sure, sorry…I uhh was out of it.” your voice was meek. He gives you a soft, gentle smile, something you didn't expect out of him. “Here” he handed you his phone, you looked at him confused and raised an eyebrow. “Put your number in, so I can text you.” You nodded and started typing. You could still feel his eyes burning into you. You handed it back to him, you felt nervous but that good type of nervous that slowly turns into a ball of excitement. “My name is Sion by the way, Oh Sion. And I'm guessing you’re y/n?”
“Yea thats right.” you hand him back his phone, “there you are” he gives you a smile. “I’ll text you later, I'll pick you up.” He doesn't wait for your reply before walking out of the door leaving you speechless.
- - -
As he had said, Sion picked you up after your shift had finished. He was driving this fancy car, a Rolls Royce. You were scared to even sit in it, you were pretty sure one of the seats probably cost more than your apartment. Sion kept glancing over at you, he could feel your nerves radiating through your skin. You watched as his hand slipped closer to yours over the small partition between your seats. “This may be bold, but may I?” he motioned to your hand, his voice was once again gentle. You nodded and he slipped his hand over yours, his fingers tangling with yours. He didn't let go for the rest of the drive.
The restaurant he took you to was quiet, the waiters and waitresses all wore shirts and ties. It felt expensive, even the air was posh. You were shown to your table, Sion pulled out your chair for you and pushed it in once you were seated. The menu was extensive, with so many different dishes, things you had never heard of before. It was overwhelming to say the least.
In the end, you had Sion pick something for you. It was delicious, some sort of pasta with all of these different colours and flavours, like nothing you had ever tasted before.
Sion was staring at you, both of you had finished your meals and were sharing a bottle of this white wine that probably cost more than your yearly wages. Deep down you felt almost humiliated, the fact that he was here just blowing that much money on something so insignificant as if it was nothing and you could just about pay your bills every month. The staring from him got more intense, he was trying to read you, he knew something was up. “y/n? Are you ok, do you not like the wine?” uncertainty stained his words, if he was trying to hide it he was doing an awful job. “No, it's lovely, it's just.. I don't entirely feel like I belong is all.” You looked into your glass, and swished it around awkwardly. Sion's hand practically flew over the table and grabbed a hold of yours, “of course you do, I want you here, you belong here with me. Please don’t think otherwise” his words were certain this time, reassuring and nothing but kind. He was different, he felt like the one.
- - -
It had been about 8months of Sion and you seeing one another. It was the best relationship you had ever been in. He was caring, kind and showed genuine love for you. Everything you could have ever dreamed of. Sion was the epitome of a gentleman, he took you out, he gave you gifts, he took the best care of you whenever you needed it. You practically lived at his place. He had become the home you didn't know you needed. It was late on a Friday, about 7pm. Sion had just got home. “Baby!! You here?” he shouted down the hallway as he took off his shoes. You run to him. “HI!!!” you yell as you jump into his arms, he laughs and catches you before spinning around. He plants a kiss on your forehead and then your lips, his were soft and warm and you didn't want the moment to end. He pulls away, “have you eaten dinner yet?” he says looking up at the clock on the wall, looking back at you with slight concern. “No I was waiting for you, I wanted to order takeout and didn't know what you wanted.” he lowered you to the floor slowly and placed another kiss on your forehead. “What do you feel like eating? I could probably devour a burger right now” he started to slowly loosen his tie and rolled his neck back, no matter what he did he always managed to be hot. “I could go for burgers.” you smiled at him, biting your bottom lip. You reached up and wrapped your arms around his neck before pressing your lips into his, he deepened it He pulled away, “I'll order those burgers.” His breath was fast and so was his heartbeat. You nodded and pressed your lips back onto his, “god i love you y/n”
“I love you too, Sion”
This was finally the man you deserved, the man you had dreamt of, and you couldn't wait to spend the rest of your life with him.
ꨄ︎ warnings : just some skinship and a kiss (˶ˆ^ˆ˵)
ꨄ︎ word count : 800 (roughly)
ꨄ︎ author's note : for another maki ask! i kinda struggled with the title so apologies if it’s a little… meh. thanks to @ukiyoux for helping me think of an idea!! all support is appreciated, hope u enjoy jokitties 🪽
ִֶָ. ..𓂃currently playing: slut - taylor swift ࣪ ִֶָ🪽་༘࿐
⠀⠀ ⠀ ⊱ ۫ ׅ ✧ 宏田力ᰍ໋ ۫ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 𖦹⠀ 𓈒 読む⸝⸝ ⟡
having a roommate like maki was always easy. the guy was so caring and thoughtful.
not only did he make sure the fridge was always stocked, he offered to cook for you as well.
maki was also a clean freak and did it for his own enjoyment, insisting he did the housework when you came home from work exhausted. you called him your saviour every time, telling him you’ll do it tomorrow - but he always got to it first.
maki made sure to keep it down when you took midday naps, putting his headphones on and staying in his room to refrain from disturbing you. your rest came first.
---
you had been living with maki for around 7 months now. the living situation came to be when money got tight for you, rent in your other apartment becoming too high for you to comfortably pay and still afford other things. it didn’t help that your other roommates were total dickheads - purposefully making it difficult for you to live with them; never cleaning up after themselves, stealing your belongings when they thought you weren’t aware, never paying their split of the rent on time. your landlord hated them, respectively.
you felt like you were going crazy living with them, stress levels through the roof.
you didn’t hesitate to reach out to maki after scrolling past his roommate advertisement on instagram. luckily for you, he accepted your application after a few days, your situation making him more willing to let you live with him, and you were moved in within a month.
---
maki was especially caring on that late saturday night, the howls of the wind and cracks of lightning loud outside the building as you slept.
your peaceful slumber came to an abrupt ending as you shot up from your pillow, hands shaking. sweat formed on your brow quickly. you had the most vivid nightmare to date, the creepy visuals still replaying in your mind as you sat there, hands gripping the covers. you felt boiling hot despite your window being open ajar.
---
you pulled on your hoodie and left your room, heading to the kitchen in need of a glass of water. making sure to be quiet, you filled a small cup with cold water, chugging it at the sink. once you were done, you started walking back to your room.
still suffering the aftermath of your nightmare, body still wary, the darkness of the apartment freaked you out. right as you turned the corner into the hallway, you bumped into maki, who was just leaving the bathroom. he could see the distress in your expression.
“hey, what are you doin’ up? are you okay?” maki asked, concern painted on his face. you nodded, not wanting to worry him too much.
“y-yeah i’m good. just got water.” you said, voice unnaturally shaky. “had a nightmare. just shaken up, i guess.”
maki’s expression softened immediately, a sigh escaping his lungs. he knew that these night terrors were becoming more frequent for you as of recently.
“c’mere.” he whispered, opening his arms to you. when you hesitated, he pulled you into his chest, rocking you back and forth for a moment. “another one, hm?”
“...yeah. this one was pretty bad.”
maki knew better than to ask what happened, not wanting to make you think of it anymore. instead, he pulled back from the hug, looking down at you.
“i can stay with you tonight, if you like.” he offered. “i’ll make sure you get enough rest. i’ll look after you.”
you accepted without a second thought, your hand slipping into his and pulling him to your bedroom down the hall.
---
once the bedroom door shut, maki guided you into bed gently, climbing in to lay next to you and pulling the blanket on top of the two of you. he pulled you closer, close enough that you could smell the faint scent of his cologne that he always applied in the mornings. it was a comforting scent for you. legs tangled, arms wrapped around each other, you were cuddling maki now.
you hadn’t been this close to your roommate before, but it felt right, normal even. it felt just like any other caring gesture of his, especially with how sweet he treats you in any other situation.
“sleep, love. i’ll be here when you wake up, alright?” he whispered, lips brushing your hairline accidentally. he was so close.
you were quick to fall asleep after that, with maki’s arm draped over your waist, hand splayed across your back. you felt safe when he was near, knowing he’ll be there in the event you have another terrible dream.
once he was sure you were asleep, maki pressed a slow, barely-there kiss to your forehead, his lips soft on your skin.
𝓒hoi 𝓨oungjae x 𝐫eader ⌞ 1.3 k ⌝ ✶ teary bf scenarios, fluff, mention to snsd taeyeon, jihyo (twice) & seungkwan (seventeen), predebut jae + no tragedy jae. cw! tears & skinship. not proofread. everything written here it’s just my imagination, idk if 1% of it is real T^T. 𓂃 nets: @fantasia-films; @k-records; @berrybittynetwork.
⌗ imagine with me (m.list)
─── ౨ৎ 눈물
Choi Youngjae isn’t the type of guy who cries a lot. In fact, it isn’t quite usual to see a tear fall down from his cheeks.
After all, there wasn’t a specific reason to cry most of the time. Or that’s what he thought.
However… sometimes, on very rare moments, his eyes would water, and all that armor he had tried so hard to keep up would fall down.
His first instinct would be to hide his face. He does not like that people watch him cry. He had never given a lot of thought to why, but if I had to guess, I’d say because he has been taught it is something he should only keep to himself. Something private.
As if crying was something to be sorry for.
It isn’t private for you, though. Even if he tries to, covering up his face with his hands —not letting you see his reddish eyes — that won’t prevent you from tearing them apart with a lot of effort (no, strength wasn’t your strong suit) and look at him. All of him. You would always be able to see what happened, and most of the time it was clear to you with a unique glance. That’s how well you knew Youngjae.
When he cries out of pure sadness, his sobs are quiet ones that he would hold back just to not make noise. Just to not burden anyone.
He would cry in silence and bury his head in his hands, breathing unsteadily. And when he does so, it’s your turn to remove his hands from his face and kiss one by one his tears, giving him comforting taps on his back.
Every time it happened, you would mutter, “Hey, I got you,” instead of saying, “Everything is going to be okay,” just because you didn’t know the exact answer to the problem, and sometimes what he needed wasn’t a solution, but the reminder of you being there for him. That might be why, after that, Youngjae just hugs you sincerely, his grip on your back tightening. And then he mutters a soft “thank you” in his cracked, teary voice, which only makes you want to hug him tighter. When you let him go, his eyes are as deep as the ocean if it were brown. He would seem lost. But then… then he would give you a pretty small smile. That smile was the world to you. Just because you knew it was his way of saying ‘thank you for staying, I love you’. So you treasured it with your heart.
Yet, when he cries out of frustration or exhaustion, he’s either too quiet or too loud. Most of the time, he just stares at the wall with the glare lost on it. Tears would just fall as if they were nothing. As if he were nothing.
Other times, his sobs would no longer be controlled by himself, and instead of being quiet, he would be loud enough for the neighbour to hear his desperation. Not because he wanted to, but because he couldn’t hold back anymore. And when you arrive home, seeing him like this breaks your heart into pieces. It only makes you want to cry along and hug him. You would wrap your arms around his shoulders and let him hold on to you, burying his face in your chest while you gently kiss the top of his head.
“What happens?” You whispered softly one day. Youngjae only shook his head and tightened his grip on your hips. He was avoiding your question.
“Youngjae..” You muttered with a reproachful tone. “Tell me, please.” You said, making him look at you with those beautiful brown eyes. Now they were covered in tears with a reddish tint below them. He had cried a lot, that was evident.
Youngjae swallowed hard.
“I… I just wonder… is this the correct path for me? Has it ever been the perfect path for me?” He sounded desperate. His eyes didn’t want to face you. “I’m just… so exhausted. These days I only feel like quitting.”
You pursed your lips. The touch of his cheeks under your hands was what made you feel his tears falling. You could sense his sorrow. His eyes were lifeless after all.
You wondered what exactly happened, but you also knew Youngjae wasn’t the type of person who shared all the details. Or maybe, he just needed more time. Even if he didn’t, you would stay anyways.
“Why did you want to become an idol?” Was the question you asked.
It surprised Youngjae, it really did. Time had passed since the last time someone asked him that.
“Because… it was my dream.” He replied in a mumbling voice.
“Why?” You asked again.
He stayed silent for a while. Just for a while. And then, with a trembling voice, he answered:
“Because.. because I wanted to sing. I wanted to be an idol because I loved singing. And I loved dancing. And I loved seeing the performances at Ikigayo every Sunday, seeing them doing all those amazing dances, with all those people cheering on them. I… I wanted to be there. It was my dream. It… It is my dream.”
You smiled softly, with some pride in it. “That’s right.”
Youngjae tried to smile too, even if it turned out to look more like a grimace.
“Look, sweetie.” You muttered, holding his hand. “Your dream doesn’t need to be perfect. It does not even need to be correct at every moment. Everyone feels like quitting. I’m sure that even the greatest stars like Jihyo, Taeyeon, or Seungkwan felt like it at some time.”
“You think so?” He mumbled.
“I’m 99.9% sure. But they became big stars because even if they were unsure, even if they had everything against them, they kept going. They kept going because they wanted to make their dreams come true.” You nodded. “Either way… cry as much as you want. But when you feel like you are ready to continue, stand up and go for it, fight for your future, okay?” You muttered, a smile on your lips. “I believe in you. I’ve always had.”
However, your favorite crying-moment must be when he cried out in relief, out of joy; it made you want to cry with him and laugh together. He would still hide his face, looking the other way, but there was no need to see him to know that he was, in fact, crying. Crying just because.
You would hug him, but this time happily and chuckle together, as if you had been together for centuries.
As a matter of fact, the last time you had seen him cry was of this specific kind. He had won a music show with his group, and he just started crying out of nowhere. Just because that wave of relief had washed him over.
They had won at Inkigayo.
Inkigayo.
For the cameras, he just looked the other way, but a proud smile tugged at his lips. You thought you could even hear what he was thinking right from the dressing room. As if all his effort had been rewarded. As if his dream was indeed true.
And it was… woah.
When they came out of the stage, and all the lights turned off, he ran to you, lifting you from the ground and spinning around. He was laughing. You laughed too. You couldn’t be happier for him.
And, for the first time, he didn’t care to show you his tears falling down. Maybe because it symbolised something. Something special.
Maybe a “thank you for believing in me” that only made your smile wider.
Because for you, Youngjae wasn’t a burden.
He has never been.
And never will be.
He was just your boy, who sometimes needed someone to believe in him.
Take you by the hand, you're the only one who understands
Pairing: Nicholas x fem!reader
Warnings: floofy floofy fluff, dancing in the rain yay, cuddlesss, mona poetry did you miss her?
A/N: Sometimes this man makes me want to nom nom him and give him all the honey jars in the world. As always, enjoy, my darlings!
Word Count: 2.1k (rare mona short fic + poetry we clapped)
A philosophical question to ponder upon: does Happiness count if it was experienced in a dream? Do those milliseconds of joy count in the small jar of Happiness?
When we think to answer that question, we must also consider some other factors. Does Happiness count if it was experienced whilst listening to your favourite song? Does Happiness count if it was a stranger's on the road, but you saw their sunlit smile and smiled anyways? Does Happiness count if it stems from revenge or jealousy? Does Happiness count in every form no matter what?
Does Happiness count when it's felt under a rainy sky, dancing with a lover?
Dancing with Nicholas felt like a dream (in which case, yes, Happiness would count), a dream you’d hate to wake up from.
Since the beginning of your relationship till now, dancing with him has remained a constant in the equation of your love. You remembered the very first time you danced with him in a kitchen too small for the both of you, the radio crackling somewhere between stations while rain tapped gently against the windows.
Nicholas had laughed when you stepped on his foot, that warm, surprised laugh that always sounded as though joy had caught him off guard. He’d spun you anyway, careless and certain, like the world beyond those dim yellow lights did not exist.
Back then, you thought love announced itself loudly. You thought it would arrive with orchestras and lightning bolts and a certainty that would rival that of the man resting in the sky.
Love arrived quietly: in sock-sliding turns across worn floorboards, in fingers curling instinctively around yours, in the way Nicholas always seemed to know when to pull you closer before the song even slowed.
"Would you like to dance?" was a familiar lyric from his pretty mouth, said in that low, comforting tone of his that always had you weak at your knees.
Today was no different. Except for the fact that raindrops were falling from the heavens, a rather obstinate reminder that what goes from the earth, comes back to her eventually.
The day had been cruel in all the quiet ways that exhaustion often was.
Nothing catastrophic had happened—no screaming arguments, no shattered glass, no tragedies worthy of novels. Just an endless accumulation of smaller things. Missed calls, harsh words that lingered too long, a headache blooming stubbornly behind your eyes—the sort of day that hollowed you out slowly, until breathing felt like an obligation rather than instinct.
By evening, the rain had begun.
You sat curled beside the living room window with a book open in your lap, though you had not turned a page in nearly twenty minutes. The words blurred together meaninglessly as your eyes drifted shut every now and then, heavy with fatigue. Outside, the drizzle painted silver trails down the glass, soft and rhythmic enough to lull the entire world into sleep. The house smelled faintly of rainwater and old paper.
You barely heard the front door open. Then came the familiar sound of keys dropped into the ceramic bowl near the entrance, followed by footsteps crossing the floorboards.
Your name, spoken gently. Nicholas’ voice always carried warmth in it, even after long workdays. Especially after long workdays, when he knew that a lover's tranquil atmosphere could heal the bloodiest and the gravest of wounds.
You looked up slowly from your book. He had loosened his tie on the drive home, the collar of his shirt slightly damp from the weather outside. Rain clung to his coat in darkened patches, his curls messier than usual from the wind.
The moment your beloved's eyes landed on you, something in his expression softened. He took one step closer, then another, until he stood in front of where you sat tucked against the window.
“Hey ." He murmured quietly.
You attempted a smile, though it came out tired around the edges. “Hi.”
Nicholas studied you for a moment longer, gaze tracing the untouched book in your lap, the blanket tangled around your legs, the distant look still clouding your face. Without another word, he held out his hand.
“Would you like to dance?”
The question settled into the room like candlelight.
Normally, he would already be reaching for the record player by now, teasing you over song choices while pulling you into the kitchen. But this time, no music followed, no crackle of vinyl, no familiar melody drifting through the house.
"No music?" You frowned softly.
His mouth curved into that crooked, beautiful smile of his—the one that always felt a little conspiratorial, like he knew something wonderful you didn’t yet.
“Don’t need any.”
Before you could question him further, his fingers curled around yours, warm and steady, tugging you gently to your feet.
And then he led you outside.
The back door creaked open to cool evening air and the scent of wet earth. Rain drizzled lazily from the dark sky, soft enough not to sting, just enough to kiss your skin in scattered droplets. The backyard glimmered under the porchlight, grass jeweled with water, puddles reflecting fractured gold.
“Nicholas—” you started, laughing breathlessly as he pulled you down the porch steps.
“Hm?”
“It’s raining.”
“I noticed.”
Yet he kept going until you stood together in the middle of the yard, rain dampening your sleeves and hair alike.
For a while, the rain remained gentle—drifted around the two of you in a silver mist, clinging to Nicholas’ lashes and soaking slowly through the fabric of your sleeves. His hand stayed warm against your waist despite the cold, guiding you in lazy circles through the wet grass as though the entire backyard had transformed into a ballroom meant only for the two of you.
There was no music. Only the drizzle tapping against leaves. Only your uneven breathing slowly syncing with his. Only the quiet squelch of wet grass beneath your feet as he spun you lazily beneath the clouds.
Nicholas danced with you in the backyard as though sorrow could be washed away by rain alone (it could, if you let it). And somehow, in his arms, for a little while, it almost could.
You rested your forehead briefly against his shoulder, laughing softly when he attempted an exaggerated spin that nearly sent both of you slipping sideways into a puddle.
“Oh my God,” you wheezed through your laughter. “You’re terrible at this.”
Nicholas gasped dramatically. “Terrible? I’ll have you know I’m an excellent dancer.”
“You almost killed us just now.” You laughed, your beloved never failed to coax that sound out from you.
“But did you die?”
You snorted, shaking your head as rainwater dripped from your hair. Nicholas grinned at the sound, visibly pleased with himself in the way he always was whenever he managed to pull laughter from you.
The porchlight cast everything in soft gold around him. Rain shimmered against his skin. His shirt clung damply to his shoulders now, curls flattened messily against his forehead.
Beautiful, you thought absently, hopelessly beautiful.
Then the sky cracked softly overhead. The drizzle thickened almost without warning. One moment it was gentle droplets brushing your skin; the next, rain came pouring down in earnest, sudden and heavy enough to soak through both of you within seconds.
“Nicho!” you shrieked, laughing as icy water splashed down your neck.
He burst into laughter too, tilting his face briefly toward the sky before grabbing your hand tighter.
“Run!”
You both bolted toward the house through the downpour, nearly slipping across the muddy grass in your haste. Nicholas kept laughing the entire way, loud and breathless and wonderfully unrestrained, while you stumbled beside him half-blind from rainwater.
By the time you reached the porch steps, both of you were drenched.
Nicholas yanked the back door open and ushered you inside first, the warmth of the house wrapping around you . Rainwater dripped onto the hardwood floors as you both stood there panting and soaked to the bone.
For a second, neither of you spoke. Then you looked at him. His hair was dripping into his eyes. His clothes were ruined. There was mud splattered along the hem of his trousers and rainwater running down the bridge of his nose.
And he was smiling at you like you were the best thing he’d seen all day.
A helpless laugh escaped you.
Nicholas stepped closer, still catching his breath. “Feel any better?”
You looked down at your soaked clothes, the puddles gathering beneath your feet, the lingering ache in your chest now softened into something lighter.
“A little,” you admitted.
His smile was gentle. "Good.”
And somehow, standing there dripping rainwater onto the kitchen floor with Nicholas’ hand curled around yours, a little felt like everything.
Later, after dry clothes and tangled laughter and the soft domesticity of towels abandoned carelessly across the bathroom floor, the evening settled into quietness.
The storm outside continued unabashedly, rain thrumming against the roof and windows, but inside the bedroom everything felt warm and dim and safe. The bedside lamp cast amber light across rumpled blankets while the scent of rain lingered faintly in the air, softened now by clean cotton and Nicholas’ shampoo.
You lay curled against him beneath the covers, head resting over his chest as though it belonged there. Maybe it did.
Nicholas was warm in a way that reminded you of tea with honey. The sort of warmth that spread slowly through you until the sharpest parts of the day dissolved at the edges. Being held by him felt like that first sip after coming in from the cold—sweet, steady, healing in ways too quiet to explain properly.
His fingers drifted lazily up and down your back beneath the blanket, absentminded and affectionate. Every now and then, you felt the low rumble of his chest when he sighed contentedly.
Outside, thunder murmured somewhere far away. Inside, Nicholas pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head. You felt it more than heard it—the gentle press of lips against your hair, lingering for a second longer than necessary.
“Tired?” he murmured.
“Mhm.”
Another slow stroke along your spine. “Better than earlier?”
You smiled against his shirt, eyes already heavy with sleep. “Much.”
His heartbeat thudded steadily beneath your cheek. Calm, familiar, home. For a little while, neither of you spoke again. There was no need to. They made lovers from the same pieces of dying stars just so they neither needed voices nor words to communicate. One star piece twinkled at the other, and the earthlings called it science.
You knew it was only good old love.
The rain continued beyond the windows, the world carried on spinning with all its noise and complications, but here in the quiet dark, wrapped in Nicholas’ arms, everything softened into stillness.
And perhaps that was the answer to the question. Does Happiness count if it was in a dream?
Maybe Happiness did not need permanence to count.
A song ends. A stranger passes by. Rain dries. Dreams dissolve by morning, slipping through your hands no matter how tightly you try to hold them. Yet while they exist, they alter you. They leave behind warmth like sunlight on fabric, faint but undeniable.
No one would claim a sunset meant nothing simply because night followed it.
So yes—dream Happiness counted. Fleeting Happiness counted. Borrowed Happiness counted, the kind gathered from watching headlights smear gold across wet pavement at midnight. Or from hearing someone you love laugh in the next room and realizing, suddenly and without warning, that you are glad to be alive at the same time they are.
And Nicholas counted too.
Happiness with him rarely arrived in dramatic waves; instead, it settled quietly into the spaces between things. In rain-soaked dancing. In tired smiles across kitchen counters. In warm hands finding yours instinctively beneath blankets half past midnight.
Perhaps that was the truest kind of Happiness of all—the kind that did not demand to be remembered forever in order to matter. Happiness was never meant to be permanent. Nothing living ever is.
Flowers wilt. Songs fade into static. Even the brightest summers surrender eventually to autumn. Yet we do not call them meaningless because they end. We call them beautiful because they happened at all.
Nicholas taught you that joy could be gentle. That love could exist in soft repetitions. That even the smallest moments—a kiss against your temple, laughter spilling through a storm, the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath your cheek—were enough to leave permanent marks upon a heart.
Maybe that was why Happiness counted, no matter how fleeting it seemed.
Because even after the music faded, you still remembered how it felt to dance.
And somewhere in the small jar of Happiness you carried within yourself, another second slipped softly into place.
fin.
A/N: can you tell the capitalised H was inspired by The god of small things. and the first sentence too? Please tell me you got the reference
divider by @dividers-are-us
@eu1joo @kwnnies @nichozzystuffs @blueuijoo @pglpblm @ikigaijo @antonh0lic @dearvampyr @riri4andy @tokunodoll @sunsoomi @makizdoll + Shoot me an ask or comment to be added!
would make sure your comfort food is always stocked up
would make you wear matching pajamas and would sulk if you even hesitated
would constantly buy you things just because "i thought of you" - a lot of them being stuffed animals and cute key chains
in relation to the previous one, if you mentioned liking one time he would 100% buy it for you immediately - he loves surprising the person he loves
even if he didn't necessarily like an artist but you did he would listen just to make you happy
would be the clingiest person ever (don't we know it, ahh so cute)
would think matching socks are "romantic"
this is my first time doing anything like this so please spare me if its bad. my first post on this acct, wow so goated. the thought of this was inspired by my bffs love for 2tee (#wearettp) @boy2kz i hope you enjoyed this.
warnings: nothing really! fluff, older brother nicho, maki is sweet asf but also kind of an idiot
a/n: dedicated specifically to kayz bcs that girl is crazy abt maki and i adore her with my whole entire heart ^w^ spent a lil more time on this one (which is to say i didn't write it in one sitting) so i hope it paid off hehe
experiencing a crush was surely a strange endeavour.
it was nonsensical. absurd, even. to have all your thoughts taken over by one person every breathing second, to experience a physical reaction each time their smile flashed before your eyes, each time they greeted you or said goodbye, the so-called ‘butterflies’ erupting in your stomach at each mention of their name or whenever you’d accidentally make eye contact with them across the room. you despised that feeling — that vulnerability of having your entire mood rely on someone’s acknowledgment of you or lack thereof, the way your face heated up each time said acknowledgment actually happened.
under different circumstances, it would’ve been harmless — just a fleeting feeling meant to pass eventually just like every other thing in life does. under different circumstances, you wouldn’t have paid that much attention to that emotion, wouldn’t have been so incredibly frustrated whenever that familiar ache rose in your chest. but this case was different, special.
he was special.
maki has been in your life ever since you could remember but not quite in your life, either, courtesy of being your brother’s best friend. it was a double edged sword, his presence — both a blessing and a curse in its own peculiar way. you enjoyed having him around, yet couldn’t help but fluster whenever he’d talk to you directly or whenever you’d be left alone in one room while nicholas went out to grab snacks. you detested the feelings your mind has brought upon you whenever you were near him and yet his presence was a constant in your life you wished would never leave from it. you’d get sulky whenever he came over to hang out with your brother yet deny every possible invitation to spend your time with them, opting for the safety and comfort of your own bedroom instead.
having him in near vicinity was enough for you to be satisfied while maintaining the safety of not being found out. after all, there was no way you could’ve ever worked out — nicholas would probably rather shave all his hair off than allow you to be romantically involved with any of his friends. whether it was protectiveness or selfishness, you didn’t know, but you knew not to try and piss him off. you thought that when you grow older, it’ll all fade away, and that the crush you had on maki would prove to be nothing more than just that: a crush, a silly emotion not meant to last for longer. but you were wrong, oh so wrong.
it had lingered well into your adulthood, following you like a shadow through middle school, highschool, your graduation all the way until now. and with all this time passing and the feeling still staying as strong as ever, you simply began to accept it.
you kept your distance. you smiled and greeted maki whenever he’d come over then disappeared into your room, made polite small talk when all of you sat down at the dinner table, sat on the other end of the couch whenever nicholas would invite him over for a movie night, insisting that you tag along as well.
as time passed and you both grew up, you had grown accustomed to the situation, to that feeling gnawing at your heart — to just how frequently you saw him hanging out at your place, always with the same smile on his face he had since you first met him despite being an adult now. you also became better at hiding your affection towards the boy: becoming fluent in the art of pretending, proficient in disappearing out of his sight before he, or worse, your brother, could catch a glimpse of your reddened cheeks.
yet in this world, nothing stays hidden forever — for even the secrets concealed behind the smartest of deceptions can come to light once the right moment arises. and it just so seemed like your time has ran out.
maki seemed to notice the confusion painted across your face that evening as you opened the door almost immediately — brows furrowed as you noticed his tall frame, the boy standing on the other side of the entrance with his usual smile and a bag of what you assumed to be snacks in his right hand. you could feel that familiar ache in your heart the moment your eyes met his but decided to ignore it, focusing instead on greeting him politely.
‘can i come in?’ he asked, already moving towards the hall and you let him — moving out of his way just enough for him to be able to walk past you, leaving the door creaked open just slightly. his fingers accidentally brushed yours as he slid inside and you almost shivered at the sudden contact, the remnants of his delicate touch lingering on your body like a reminder, a threat: you can’t keep your feelings from him hidden for forever.
you stayed still in the same spot you stood in when you opened the door and that, along with the fact that you hadn’t in fact closed it, made maki stop in his tracks. his head immediately turned to face you, halfway through taking his shoes off, almost as if awaiting for an explanation as to why you haven’t yet ran up to your room, why he hadn’t heard nicholas from the living room yet.
‘nicho’s not here today.’ you muttered softly, playing with your fingers in an absentminded manner. ‘i don’t want to sound rude, but, um, why are you here, maki?’
‘oh, i’m just here to play with cali!’ he exclaimed enthusiastically, a little too fast, too… rehearsed.
‘you came over to hang out with… the dog?’
maki smiled proudly, that signature smile of his which made your knees weak each time you saw it, nodding with vigour as he straightened up his posture.
‘precisely.’
you had no choice but to let him inside — he was maki, after all.
‘where is nicho anyways?’ he asked, moving deeper inside. he moved around the house as if it was his own — and given the many, many times he had been there, it might’ve as well been his house, too.
‘he’s at euijoo’s apartment.’ you explained, eyes carefully scanning maki’s movements as he pulled out what seemed to be a packet of dog snacks. he shook the packaging in his hand, the sound of food moving inside of it immediately alarming cali, who ran up to him with pure excitement in her eyes. you couldn’t help but smile at the sight, as you continued explaining your brother’s whereabouts. ‘from what i understood he needed help with moving and assembling some new furniture for his bedroom. either a wardrobe or a bed, i’m not sure.’
maki chuckled as he crouched down, his hands immediately finding cali’s head as he gently petted her, his other hand holding out snacks for her to munch on.
‘i doubt he’d be much help for euijoo.’ he stated, taking another handful of snacks so that your dog could eat some more. ‘i asked him for help with assembling my desk once — took us six hours and in the end i still had to ask my dad for help.’
‘typical nicho.’ you laughed, kneeling down next to him to play with cali too. ‘my parents never ask him for help with anything handyman related because they know it’ll add at least two hours to the time spent on doing it and will take away a year from their lifespan.’
a comfortable silence took over the kitchen, only sound disrupting it being cali’s panting and crunching as she devoured another batch of snacks from maki’s hand, basking in the attention she was getting from both him and you like a spoiled little kid who finally got what she wanted. maki’s gaze shifted towards you for a second — to the way you smile ever so softly while petting cali, to the way your eyes glimmered with affection each time you looked at her. he couldn’t help but smile himself: a familiar, warm feeling settling in his chest before he looked away, not wanting to be found out.
after getting a satisfactory amount of snacks from her favorite house guest, cali decided it was her time to nap — settling herself on the couch in the living room, making herself comfortable on her very own ‘throne’ made from blankets and her most treasured toys. both you and maki plopped on opposite sides of her with a soft thump. the tv was already on, displaying a youtube commentary video you were previously watching, currently paused because of maki’s interruption. you reached for the remote, ready to turn the video off and change it to some tv show you could watch with him when maki stopped you — or rather, his hand did.
maki’s hand gripped your wrist instinctively before you were able to click anything, his grip gentle. both of you froze in your movements — your surprise at the sudden contact evident on your face as you glanced towards him, his own face heating up in embarrassment at his involuntary action.
‘uh, you don’t have to change it just because i’m here, you know.’ he muttered, trying to explain himself as reasonably as he could without sounding like a moron. the air around you was filled with awkward energy, the type of energy you always avoided with maki by simply slipping upstairs before anything of this sort could happen. ‘i was meaning to watch this video anyways.’
‘really?’ you questioned, voice quiet. surprisingly enough, your eyes still didn’t leave his — almost entranced by his gaze on you. ‘didn’t take you as the type to watch commentary content.’
‘i’m too chronically online for my own good, of course i watch commentary content.’ he joked, trying to ease up the atmosphere. you couldn’t help but giggle at his comment, proving his attempt to be successful.
but then your attention shifted to something else.
his hands was still on yours, the skin of his fingers wrapped around your wrist hot against your own. not only that, but you didn’t even notice when you had moved closer to him — faces above cali’s sleeping body alarmingly close to one another. maki seemed to notice too, the two of you pulling away at the exact same moment, truly a comical sight.
and yet the warmth of his touch lingered on your body still, like a reminder of his presence once so close to you.
the tension in the air loosened up over time — with both you and maki throwing in little comments of your own at the video, the conversation flowing between you two seemingly as natural as breathing. when the video ended, maki urged you to turn on another one about a topic that both of you found interesting: and then another, and another. you didn’t even realise how much time has passed since he first arrived until you heard your phone buzz right next to you, the screen flashing with a message from your brother.
‘just finished!! we’re going out for drinks now. will probably be home around 3am, unless i end up staying at euijoo’s. don’t miss me too much ;))’
you glanced in maki’s direction, the boy now in the kitchen to retrieve the snacks he had previously brought and forgot about, and sighed deeply. you were genuinely enjoying the time spent with your brother’s best friend — the fact that this singular message has probably brought it to its end made you frown involuntarily, almost on instinct.
maki sat himself down on the couch once more, a satisfied smile on his face as he opened one pack of chips. he was ready to dig in, hand already reaching for the snack inside, when you stopped him.
‘nicho’s not coming anytime soon.’ you mumbled, his attention immediately turning towards you. his head tilted slightly, waiting for you to explain — getting said explanation when you showed him the message your brother had sent you just minutes before.
maki’s smile fell immediately.
‘oh.’ he whispered.
‘yeah.’ you answered, eyes falling down to the floor. ‘i think that means you should go home now. since, you know, you have no reason to stay here.’
‘can i tell you something?’ maki asked. your question caught him off guard — gaze lifting up to meet his, head tilted to the side just slightly in a sign of confusion. ‘i didn’t come here for your brother.’
‘what?’
‘i came here for you.’ his voice echoed through the living room, the video playing on the tv screen seemingly forgotten, insignificant now. ‘i knew nicholas wouldn’t be here today. i came here because i wanted to see you.’
his words were followed by a wave of silence, and all of a sudden you felt like all of those feelings of affection and longing and fondness crashed into you all at once — with an impressive power almost sweeping you off your feet. you didn’t dare speak, or more so couldn’t bring yourself to do so: unsure of what he meant by it, not wanting to get your hopes up or misunderstand his unfinished statement.
maki seemed to get the hint of what your quietness meant.
‘i like you- no, i love you. much more than i probably should.’ he continued, his breathing slightly faster than usual, face already heating up at this vulnerable confession. ‘i don’t know whether you feel the same, but i couldn’t hold it inside any longer. i might’ve exploded if i had to hold myself back from saying it for even a day more. i like you — so much so that it aches me whenever i see you smile or hear your laugh, even just when we see each other for the fleeting moment it takes you to open the door for me and disappear upstairs. you don’t have to accept this confession-’
‘maki, i like you too.’ you cut him off mid sentence, before he was even able to spout any nonsense about you turning him down. you couldn't bear to hear him even imply something of that sort — and taken over by a newfound and probably very temporary sense of confidence, you decided not to hold yourself back this time.
the boy almost gasped in surprise when he noticed you lean in, hands grabbing fistfuls of his shirt before pulling him closer and smashing your lips against his. the kiss was messy and imperfect in almost every way — noses bumping, teeth clashing occasionally, neither of you knowing how much energy to give into it or what it should truly look and feel like. but the beauty of this moment rested not in the knowledge you possessed of kissing but rather the intimacy of the act alone: the mutual pining finally let out of its cage and spreading its wings in a beautiful act of affection shared between two people who were surely waiting for this moment for far too long.
both you and maki managed to get the gist of it eventually — his hands finding your waist, lips moving against one another more harmonically, bodies heating up from the newfound sensation. in that moment, all that truly mattered was you and him: the outside world was merely a muffled sound, a stage for your final act of lifelong longing for maki to finally come to a resolve.
˖᯽ ݁˖ The strings of my heart - Park Jeong-Seong ₊˚⊹ ᰔ
ꕤ warnings: nothing!! just pure fluff, guitarist boyfriend Jay (..◜ᴗ◝..)
ꕤ word count: 1k
ꕤ authors note: a jay fic!! the sion one isn't doing too well so trying to distract myself with a new fic ˙◠˙ I wrote this one quite quickly so sorry if it feels a bit rushed but I think its a cute little short moment. I think I'm gonna try and write another small few over the weekend cause I have an exam coming up so I wanna make sure I can still post so yay! ANYWAYY!! I hope you guys enjoy and any and all support is greatly appreciated. ( ⸝⸝´ ᵕ `⸝⸝)
ᢉ𐭩⋆˚࿔ currently playing: sex on fire - kings of leon ᢉ𐭩⋆˚࿔
Jay was the type of boyfriend to stand outside of your bedroom window with a boombox. Unfortunately, in this day and age that would just cause problems with the neighbours, so he resorted to writing you songs. They were beautiful, always constructed with such love and care. His emotions were always conveyed in these songs in ways that were so creative, whether it be the beat of the drums that represented his heartbeat whenever he was near you, or the lyrics that never failed to tell you how much he loved you. Having a guitarist boyfriend was your dream and you were living it.
- - -
The weather was just miserable outside, Jay and you were supposed to be at an outside movie theatre, but that had been cancelled so you were officially stuck inside. The hue of warm orange lights lit the living room and the fire crackled in the hearth. Jay was re-stringing his guitar on the floor and you were tucked under copious amounts of blankets and pillows reading a book. The warmth from the fire warmed your cheeks, it was the perfect winter night. The wind rattled the frames of the windows and the rain pounded on the glass, it was definitely storming outside and that felt like a slight understatement.
- - -
Jay had finished stringing his guitar and had started tuning it, the soft pluck of strings and the hum of notes drifted through the air, accompanying the noises of nature and the fireplace. You watched him carefully, watching every finger and every muscle as he closed his eyes and listened. He finished tuning the last string and looked up at you, his eyes soft and gentle, he flashed you a comforting smile, “you look so pretty baby” his voice was even gentler than his eyes. Your cheeks warmed and you looked away from him. “Thank you Jay”. he knew exactly what he was doing, he knew all the ways to get you flustered. He let out a small laugh and got up from the floor, before walking over to you on the sofa. Jay placed himself down next to you and started playing a tune and humming along. You folded the page of your book and put it down, wanting nothing more than to watch him play. His concentration was adorable, his tongue slightly poked out of his mouth as he thought of what chord to play next. You were right where you wanted to be, next to him.
- - -
The evening dragged on, Jay was still playing and you were still listening. His voice was still drifting around the apartment as he sang along to each song. “Hey baby, would you teach me?” your question took Jay by surprise and he quickly turned to face you, “really!?You wanna learn?” his voice was filled with excitement, you could tell he had been waiting for you to ask him. You giggled at his reaction, “Yea, i wanna learn” you shifted closer to him and held his forearm, trying to pull it away from the guitar so you could shuffle under. “You have no idea how bad I've been wanting you to ask that” Jay's voice was still filled with that excitement, “if you sit between my legs I can move your hands to where they need to be.” You did what he said and positioned yourself between his legs, crossing yours so your knees rested on his thighs. Moments like these made having a tall boyfriend the best thing ever, he rested his chin on the top of your head and placed the guitar on your lap. It was an acoustic made of a light wood, it was covered in stickers and had your name engraved just below the side of the neck. You tilted your head to look at him, “when did you do this?” you asked, your finger slowly tracing over it.
“As soon as I got it, baby, I wanted to carry a part of you with me everywhere, even if that part is just your name.” You wanted to cry of happiness right then and there, he was so sweet. “Ok, let’s get you in the right position and we can start, yea?” You nodded enthusiastically, and waited for his instructions.
- - -
His arms snaked around yours, his palms soft and warm on your hands. Jay guided them, one hand holding the neck and one poised just over the body, your fingers brushing the strings. “Place one finger here, and one finger here.” you held down on the two strings that he guided you to and strummed the strings with your other hand. You looked up at Jay for his approval and he nodded, “yea thats it, well done baby.” His arms pulled you in slightly closer and he planted kisses down the side of your face. You kept strumming, he kept teaching you more chords. You started to get the hang of it, you laughed together and kissed.
The fire slowly burned out, the crackling becoming quieter and quieter. You were becoming tired, your eyes becoming heavy and your arms weak. “Are you tired, we can stop if you’d like?” Jay’s voice was gentle, a whisper in your ear. You could feel his breath by your ear, he planted another kiss onto the side of your head. “Yea, lets stop.” you turned back to face him and closed your eyes, a small, tired smile on your face. He takes the guitar from your hands and places it upright against the coffee table. Jay pulled the blankets up over the both of you and slowly held you up against his chest before lying down and taking you with him. His arms surrounded you and held you close, his thumb stroked across your skin in delicate circles. “Thank you for letting me teach you baby.” he murmured, his lips pressed into the back of your head. You replied with a simple ‘mhm’ and fell asleep in his arms.
warnings: suggestive, making out, reader is a little shit lowkey
a/n: my first fic for my favorite unc, yay!!! finally wrote for yudai after what seems like forever since i started writing for the teamies…. idk what took me so long…………
despite acting as a single mom of eight for a big portion of his life, koga yudai’s patience was nowhere near a saint’s.
it wasn’t bad, per se. having a friend group consisting solely of younger people should’ve, in theory, taught him perseverance, a level of endurance needed to survive with such chaotic surroundings. and to be truthful, he has definitely improved a lot over the years — he wasn’t as severely affected by his friend’s constant shenanigans, endless bickering and multiple humorous comments about his age. he’s grown accustomed to it: developing something akin to a shield, a protection from these usual situations getting on his nerves. but there was one thing he wasn’t immune to.
you.
you and your everlasting act of innocency — an act curated specifically to piss him off, he thought, targeted at him with a motive he couldn’t quite decipher. or maybe there was no real motive behind it. maybe you just wanted to see your boyfriend finally lose it. and yet each time without fail, he had managed to keep his composure, or rather its last remains, in tact: without succumbing to your obvious trickery, your plan which seemed almost perfect failing on you once again. he had left you no choice but to use extreme measures — and with just how determined and curious you were, you knew that this time, it had to work.
the first time it happened, yudai almost didn’t notice it.
tired after work and barely closing the door behind him, he smiled immediately when he saw you — your figure leaning against the wall of the hall, phone in hand as you waved him hello, a seemingly innocent smile curving up your lips. had he not been this worn out, he would’ve probably noticed the mischievous glint in your eyes, the scheming look painted across your face. and yet this time, he remained blissfully unaware, focusing on taking off his shoes and loosening his tie with his right hand, veins showing clearly on his outer palm. you came up to him — taking the few steps needed to get to where he was standing, his arm immediately reaching for your waist, already leaning in to plant a soft kiss on your lips.
and yet somehow, instead of your lips, it had landed on your cheek.
his brows furrowed for just a second, but he decided to pay it no mind: maybe it was just an unfortunate accident, you not noticing the fact that he wanted to kiss you. it happens sometimes — and so koga yudai decided to ignore it this time, heading towards your shared bedroom to change into something more comfortable before coming back out, eyes immediately locking in on your figure already sprawled out on the sofa, a blanket thrown over your legs, gaze directed at your phone screen. he immediately took it as a chance to cuddle up right next to you. his lean frame plopped down right next to you, head finding its way to your shoulder as his body finally relaxed, allowing himself a moment of pleasure.
naturally, in true yudai fashion, it wasn’t long before he leaned in again (courtesy of being the clingies boyfriend when left alone with you), lips puckering just slightly as if to show more clearly that he wanted a kiss this time. and yet despite his attempts, you remained unfazed — almost dismissive of his needs.
his face got mere millimeters from yours, lips almost grazing yours, and you only turned away from him. your boyfriend stopped in his tracks for a few seconds — then tried again, this time aiming more precisely.
and still, he missed. or rather you moved away from him: this time lifting yourself up just slightly, into a seating position.
‘you are dodging my kisses.’ he stated simply, his face still hovering over yours. this allegation finally got your attention as you raised your gaze from your phone up to yudai, a smile forming on your lips immediately.
‘i don’t know what you’re talking about.’ you answered him, shrugging ever so slightly. ‘i’m just playing a game on my phone. didn’t notice you wanted a kiss.’
‘oh, really?’
your boyfriend decided to test your credibility — face inching closer to your one last time, trying once again to kiss you.
and once again, just like with each previous attempt, you turned your head away from him at the last second. that was exactly when all the pieces in yudai’s head seemed to fall into place.
‘oh, i see how it is.’
‘what do you mean- hey, that’s mine!’ you exclaimed suddenly upon noticing that he had reached for your phone, snatching it out of your hands and throwing it to the other end of the couch. you opened your mouth to protest, say just about anything — but to no avail, as before you could even form a single word, yudai’s lips were on yours.
the kiss was intense: lips clashing against each other with a newfound force, noses brushing, his tongue immediately tangling up with yours. his entire body hovered above you, held up by just one of his hands — the other one gripping your waist tightly, but not too strong so as not to hurt you. he left you almost no room to take a breath, the vigour with which he kissed you almost sweeping you off your feet. had you been standing up when he initiated the kiss, your knees would’ve probably went out.
you couldn’t help the smirk pulling at your lips, and yudai noticed it immediately, feeling it against his own lips.
‘got what you wanted, angel?’ he didn’t bother pulling away, words mumbled against your lips as his hand trailed higher, travelling up your arms before resting on the side of your neck.
‘exactly what i wanted.’ you murmured back, lips working dynamically against yours. ‘wanted to see my ever so calm boyfriend finally lose his composure.’
‘that’s cute.’ he whispered, lips grazing yours. you leaned in closer to connect them together — and yet this time, it was yudai who pulled away just in time for you to miss. ‘i assume you’re ready to suffer the consequences, then?’
the speed with which your smile turned into a frown was almost comical, a chuckle leaving his lips at the sight.
‘aww, can’t stand being denied a kiss?’ he cooed, leaning in closer again, just enough for you to feel the heat radiating off of his skin. you tried once more: and remained disappointed as yudai barely pulled away, holding you in place with one of his hands.
he shook his head, a chuckle leaving his lips.
‘it’s not that easy, angel. maybe you should ask nicely.’
you glared at him and yudai only smiled — that same mischievous look you had on your face just minutes earlier now glued to his. you were almost disappointed at how quickly he turned things around and ended up on top in this situation: but then again, seeing your boyfriend like this — chest rising and falling with heavy breaths, the stern look in his eyes laced with just a hint of cockiness, face so close to yours — you couldn’t help the excitement building up in your chest. this might’ve been the most attractive he’s ever been.
so you sighed and decided to comply this one time.
one ‘please’ and a look into your seemingly pleading eyes was enough for him to give in, enough for yudai to give you everything you wanted and more.
ꨄ︎ warnings : reader is very insecure, indirect mention of suicide, crying, isolation, skinship, kissing, praise(?), lowercase intended
ꨄ︎ word count : 1.1k
ꨄ︎ author's note : based on a maki ask i received last week! can you tell i projected hard onto reader… this was kinda difficult for me to write because i relate to it alot and struggled with similar issues. anyways, all support is appreciated. i hope u enjoy jokitties 🪽
ִֶָ. ..𓂃currently playing: all i need - radiohead ࣪ ִֶָ🪽་༘࿐
⠀⠀ ⠀ ⊱ ۫ ׅ ✧ 宏田力ᰍ໋ ۫ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 𖦹⠀ 𓈒 読む⸝⸝ ⟡
throughout your teenage years all the way to young adult life, you’d struggled with your body image, your self esteem. negative thoughts constantly swirled around in your mind, lingering, dragging along behind you wherever you went, like a dark cloud you couldn’t get rid of.
years of makeup practice, haircuts that covered your face, clothes that hid the insecurities that filled you with daunting shame. nothing ever seemed good enough, though. nothing quite fixed you. the bad parts of you may have been hidden, but the coverage was only temporary, flaws waiting for you to remove the baggy clothes to allow them to feast on your self-consciousness once again.
your mind was plagued with these thoughts, and nothing could help get rid of them.
---
when maki came along, you struggled to believe his feelings for you were genuine. despite his insistence, you’d always worried it was some joke, a stupid prank he let go too far. you still felt like this now, 2 years into your relationship.
maki was the complete opposite in comparison to you - handsome face, perfect body, confident and outgoing - all the things you weren’t, the things you lacked yet yearned so desperately for.
you weren’t blind to the way people stared when they saw you two together, judgemental glances thrown when they saw maki’s hand in yours. you knew he was out of your league by a long shot, and you constantly worried that people would judge maki for dating you of all people. the guilt of containing maki, greedily keeping him for yourself when he could do so much better, it ate at you every time you kissed, every time he touched you, every time he called your name.
it didn’t help when maki would get hit on, beautiful women approaching him, flirting as if you didn’t exist. every time it happened you’d be pushed off to the side, ignored, disregarded. they wouldn’t believe someone like you were dating maki. as if he was with you out of pity, or it was a fluke on your behalf.
and unfortunately, you believed them.
---
on one occasion, whilst the two of you were walking down town, you’d overheard a passing conversation between two girls.
“do you think they’re dating?” one had asked, an amused tone in her voice. “look, he’s holding her hand.”
“i guess so. poor guy.” they giggled together. “he deserves better than that.”
your stomach swirled with guilt and shame yet again. the comments never seemed to stop. the embarrassment would find you anywhere, like a predator hunting it’s prey. you were a weak bunny, your insecurities the sly wolf, never letting up the chase. you couldn’t escape.
you cried to maki that day, unable to keep it in this time, unable to suppress your feelings.
“they’re right, y’know?” you sobbed, eyes shut tight, tears falling. “you do deserve better.”
maki’s grip tightened around you as you spoke, his expression soft. he shook his head.
“it’s not true, baby. not at all.” maki whispered, pressing his lips to your forehead. “i’m happy with you. i don’t want anything else. just you. don’t listen to those liars.”
he didn’t let you go that night.
---
over time, all the negative thoughts became too loud, too much. it started eating at you, consuming you. it led to you beginning to distance yourself from maki, wanting to make it easier for him to leave you.
it felt like the end of your whole existence was nearing, terrifying yet inevitable. what else could you do? there was no other option. no one would miss you.
each day dragged achingly slow, the light draining from everything that you once loved. your adoration for maki stayed strong, but the painful diffidence you carried with you only fed off of it all.
the contemplation teetered in the back of your mind daily. the craving to escape from your pain, to feel peace - more desirable than before.
your removal from maki was quiet; short conversations with no depth, no honesty; hiding yourself away from his sight, body covered; touches that lacked comfortability.
if you slowly eased away from his grip, it wouldn’t hurt for him to completely let go, right?
---
maki noticed after a few weeks.
at first it was the lack of conversation, then it was how you pulled away from his kisses before he could let them go anywhere. it became obvious to him when you started to stare out of the bedroom window, your eyes fixed on the ground far below. the sight tugged at his heart, made him worried.
“hey, baby.” maki approached you one late evening, finding you sat on the couch, staring at nothing. he sat next to you. “how are you?”
the conversation felt casual, but the underlying distance was tense.
“i’m good.” you answered. nothing more, nothing less.
“how are you really?” you flinched when his hand took yours. “please talk to me, baby. i’m not blind. i’ve noticed what’s going on… why are you drifting away from me?”
his question made your heart drop, a hot wave of emotion washing over you. he wasn’t meant to notice.
“please don’t let me lose you.”
maki’s whispered beg broke you, your face burying into his shoulder, hands gripping his shirt.
“i’m so tired, maki…” you sobbed, his large arms wrapping around you. “i’m not… i’m not good enough. i never will be. everyone can see it.”
your tears fell onto his shoulder, warm and fragile, spilling without your control.
“i hear what they all say… about h-how i look. it hurts, but it’s all true.” you stuttered, vision blurry.
“stop, baby, please.” maki whispered, his cheek pressed against the top of your head. “nothing from their mouths is true. i hate that you believe them.”
“you’re so beautiful, y/n. i’d do anything if it meant you could see yourself how i see you.”
you shook your head, eyes squeezed shut tight, your face in the crook of his neck.
“you’re perfect to me. i don’t want you to change at all.”
“maki-”
“-let me finish.” he cut you off, his hands laying flat on your back, your body shivering under his touch. “you know how beautiful you are to me?”
you slowly tilted your head up at him, tears still spilling down your face. maki was looking back at you, and it was as if you could see hearts in his eyes, his gaze set on you and nothing else.
“...really?” you asked, voice raspy from crying. you wanted to believe him so badly. so badly.
“really. and don’t ever doubt that.” maki said, his lips ghosting over yours. “you’re perfect, baby.”
warnings: angst, no happy ending, major character death
a/n: i’m back at it again! this whole fic is stupid but i am wrote this bcs i like the idea of someone actually missing me when i'm gone. idk what else to say, enjoy..?
nakakita yuma made sure he looked his best for this day.
the reflection staring at him from the mirror seemed to almost not be his own — hair combed and styled, something he rarely ever did, definitely not on a daily basis, his expression uneasy, almost anxious. his eyes wandered down to his outfit, the ironed out shirt clinging to his body, a perfect fit, the long, black pants adding a hint of seriousness to his look, something which could maybe almost resemble elegance. he felt as if he’s worn someone else’s skin — this was unlike him in every possible way, unlike the style of clothing he’d worn on a daily basis, unlike what his normal, day to day life looked like. but then again, it had to be different; this day was no ordinary one for him, and for him to look ordinary on a day filled with such importance would’ve been a crime in itself.
the bouquet of flowers stood proudly in the clear vase on his kitchen counter, a beautiful arrangement of different colours, delicate petals of camellias, crimson roses, tulips and marigolds held up together with a dark, lace ribbon. he had bought it earlier that day — making sure the flowers would stay fresh and fragrant for this day, making sure to pick ones you’ve always mentioned loving most. he was always an attentive man when it came to you, after all: ever so observant when it came to his one true love, always knowing when something was happening before you were even able to properly put it into words.
he took one last look at himself and smiled — cheeks rising ever so slightly, a soft sigh leaving his lips. today he was going to see you. after an abundance of busy work days taking over his entire days, sometimes even nights, he was glad to finally be able to meet you, to talk to you, to tell you the stories circulating around the office he’s worked at.
the two of you were never exactly a perfect couple to begin with, but what had always mattered to both of you was the determination and drive to do better — for the urge to become a better person and by association a better partner far exceeded any thoughts of giving up on the connection you two had. it was far too precious for the two of you to let go of, far too precious to let it go to waste this easily. each argument, which there were many of, cut through your skin like a knife designed specifically for you — dipped in poison to make the ache grow stronger, to make the pain linger for longer. and yet, despite it all, your love remained tender, pure, even: the poison from the knife kissed away with each apology, each reassuring word coming from yuma’s mouth like a prayer, a promise to you and to the world that he will become someone who’s worthy of having you. worthy of the love you provided him with, worthy of the connection he so desperately longed for. his progress was undeniable with each passing day — arguments becoming less frequent, replaced with small acts of love, reminders of his devotion and dedication.
humanity has always been full of flaws, and yuma has been aware of that ever since he first learned that his parents had lied to him about the existence of santa claus and the easter bunny. no human has been born without flaws — but to find one who was willing to change them, to fix them solely because of love was a difficult endeavour. and yet somehow, the universe has led two such individuals to one another: yuma and you, a pairing seemingly meant to be, meant to stay together and get their happy ending despite the hardships, despite the world’s cruel intentions. in all timelines, in all possibilities, in all lifetimes.
just not this one.
yuma sat quietly across from you, flowers in one hand, the other smoothing down his shirt. the previous bouquet he had brought you had already wilted — his face contorting into a frown at the sight, eyes flicking between the old and new one. he picked it up, gentle fingers switching the flowers for new ones, making sure to add water so they don’t die down too quickly, don’t wither away.
‘i missed you.’ he mumbled, voice quiet, laced with a hint of sorrow, and yet he smiled at you nonetheless. ‘i’m sorry i haven’t been able to visit these past two weeks. work has been crazy stressful lately — project deadlines, too many meetings to count. i hope you don’t mind that, my love.’
you stared back at him from across — or rather your name engraved in stone, the letters written down neatly with a font he had picked out, two dates placed right below the writing. the words were almost painful to look at: to think that they slipped from his tongue every day without fail, always followed by a confession of love, a proclamation of his undying devotion. now, cold and distant, they have remained but a hurtful reminder of what could’ve been.
but that pain didn’t stop yuma from visiting. had he the chance, he would’ve stayed there permanently — humoring you with stories and anecdotes from his life, bringing up old memories to ponder on. the need to see you far transcended any possible hurt.
he had grown accustomed to the silence on your end — he learned to function in it, to enjoy it even. and so he kept talking, about everything and nothing, really — about how euijoo and nicholas almost broke the printer last week, about how an old lady had moved next door to the apartment you once shared, about the new menu at your favorite restaurant. his words didn’t stop flowing for his love for you was still alive and thriving: bittersweet, that’s for sure, but a feeling he wouldn’t, no, couldn’t let go of nonetheless. nothing could ever stop him from loving you, not even death itself.
and when his flow of words had stopped and the stories have reached their end, he stayed there anyways — existing in the silent presence of you, the closest he would ever get to holding you in his arms again.
