Matt @biro-maniac - Tumblr Blog

herowyn

5 0 Y E A R S A G O

closetocanada

Happy Moon Landing Day! ❤️👩‍🚀🌛

curioscurio

think again motherfucker

wondersmith-and-sons

Which of the following moments in British politics was funniest?

David Cameron allegedly fucking a pig (2015)

Theresa May Brexit deal sees worst parliamentary defeat of any British PM (2019)

Dominic Cummings' social distancing scandal is named #Cumgate (2021)

Matt "Eat Out to Help Out" Hancock caught having affair with his aide (2021)

MP resignations reach critical mass under Boris Johnson (2022)

The Queen dies 2 days after meeting Liz Truss (2022)

Liz Truss who doesn't outlast head of lettuce (2022)

Nigel Farage has to run in by-election against Count Binhead (2026)

I'm American and I never read news from outside of my country

Something else entirely (I'll tell you in the tags)

Voting ended onJul 19

Note: don't let your recency bias decide this, actually think back to what was the objectively funniest time on the internet.

gorbling

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

gorbling

hapalopus

More from the notes:

vexwerewolf

I love this post

karifaevt

The horse thinks as it scratches an itch

sabertoothwalrus

aughhhhh my head hurtds #mygrain

whyenn-reader

you are not immune to inventing an arbitrary set of rules that only you have to adhere to

desmolbean404

QUIZ TIME!! Take this quiz, then come back and answer the poll!

100 Different 'Pokemon' will be shown to you. Choose if you think they are FAKE or REAL. Goal is to get a high score so you can brag to ever

What Was Your Score?

0%-20%

20%-40%

40%-50%

50%-60%

60%-70%

70%-80%

80%-99%

100%! (You're one smart cookie!)

Remaining time: 3 days 2 hours

#nailed it #I play too much showdown to not recognise them

tarydarrington

"Wicander, that one in five may be the end of your character's life."

monntageofheck

me and the 20 other people who still remember and care about the tragic roman roy

see-arcane

Wicander: I’ve got this. I just spent an evening being a convincing Scion of House Halovar. I can maneuver around Primus on my own!

The Dice: eat shit Light Brite

Azune: Hey, is there any way I can convince the head of House Einfasen to start plotting towards aiding our Royce allies while also scheming to hammer Tachonis to death right now, this second?

The Dice: Would you like more 20s on that, king?

nerdicornthetrekkie

gamechangershow

Sorry but it's not complete without...

nichehobbyrobot-deactivated2016

last night i found the most perfect christmas card of all time

i bought it, but i am keeping it for myself.

thatlittleegyptologist

Y'know that fact, the one where it says 'Archaeologists found 3000 year old honey in an Ancient Egyptian tomb and they ate it because honey lasts forever'?

As an Egyptologist, it's always baffled me because uhh...there's very few tombs that were intact enough to have food stuffs in them, and even fewer where honey was involved. If someone ate honey from one of those tombs, I'm pretty sure I would know about it. I mean, I know about Petrie smelling of bat piss and being a bit nuts, why wouldn't I have ever heard the name of the archaeologist who decided to chance botulism?

So I looked it up and got a wonderful spiral of circular citation. Everyone was saying the same thing over and over again, but no one was saying who it was other than 'archaeologists in an Egyptian tomb', which was incredibly frustrating. So, giving up on that, I looked into the known intact tombs we have like Kha and Merit or Psusennes I, but neither had honey jars. Which left only one option: Tutankhamun.

His tomb contains one cylindrical alabaster jar (No.055) in which Howard Carter noted there was a 'resinous material'. Looking that jar up led me to where they'd tested it and discovered it was honey. However, there are no records of anyone tasting or eating the contents of this jar prior to it being tested decades later (y'know, when they'd invented the tech to test that stuff).

So basically, there was a jar of honey in Tutankhamun's 3300 year old tomb, but there's no evidence that Howard Carter ate any of it, especially since he notes that he cleaned the jar with xylene.

penny-anna

hot take:

Gloin is the sexiest dwarf by dwarf standards.

Kili is the sexiest dwarf by elf standards.

Thorin is the sexiest dwarf by human standards

& Bombur is the sexiest dwarf by hobbit standards

penny-anna

#ITS TRUE AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT #(ALSO THORIN AND KILI BEING ‘UGLY’ BY DWARF STANDARDS IS AMUSING CONTENT)

further take: Kili is straight-up ugly by dwarf standards. Thorin is like, the dwarf equivalent of Benedict Cumberbatch. Some dwarves think he’s an absolutely dreamboat, others think he is super weird looking, there’s very little middle ground.