you can't arrest me I'm the cake boss

✨ zoe, she/her ✨ god put me on this earth to make a ruckus

[outofcontextdiscord]

[not-a-spy-garak]

[valas-illyn]

I need this gif reversed

[freakdroids]

nice

[goblinchief]

Sent a 12 year old on a fake Hero’s Journey last week and holy shit he actually did it

[hippy-craic]

[alphacrone]

“use ai or fall behind” why are you acting like asking copilot to write an email is a particularly sought-after skillset

[teaboot]

I live in the northwest coast of Canada so we walk everywhere and do stuff outside in the rain and swim in whatever lakes and rivers we find so imagine my smug sense of Canadian superiority when I met a USAmerican Midwesterner who was horrified at the very thought

And then I went to the USAmerican Midwest

And I understood

[teaboot]

What I mean to say is that it's very easy to delude yourself into believing you are more in tune with your environment when your environment is not actively hostile to your existence in every conceivable way

[teaboot]

BC, Canada:

Rains frequently, but the worst is like standing under a bathroom shower. Genuinely inhospitable rainstorms are uncommon.

Along the coast, it's pretty easy in most areas to walk to at least one store, or else there's usually a bus or shuttle available. There are sidewalks and bike lanes everywhere.

It's a temperate boreal rainforest, so while there are many freshwater lakes and rivers, they're usually pretty cold. The biggest danger is typically getting caught in a strong current, and the most dangerous animals in swimming distance are on land.

Earthquakes happen almost every day, but the vast majority go unnoticed. Buildings are designed to withstand bigger seismic activity, so unless it's a 5 or higher it just kind of feels like having low blood sugar for a second. There are no tornados

Rural Illinois, USA:

One minute it's sunny, then ten minutes later that distant smudge on the horizon has swallowed the entire sky in black clouds and the water is coming down like waterfall and you literally CANNOT SEE. Then there's a crash like cymbals and you need to get indoors because the thunder and lightening are on TOP of you

No sidewalks until you are in the smack dab center of town, which is a three hour walk or twenty minute drive from wherever you are.

There aren't many natural bodies of water other than small ponds and creeks, and because the environment is so much warmer, those are filled with snapping turtles that can grow bigger than a nine year old child and water snakes that are incredibly venomous. These are paired with leeches and mosquitos for that sweet umami flavor.

Sometimes Jupiter, Lord of the Heavens decides to jam his finger into the side of your house just to fuck with your whole shit and throws your truck a thousand yards into the nearest church

[explicitlyrics]

swifties always going on the "you just hate women" defense like first of all Taylor Swift is not a woman she's an unskippable ad

[lizlemondyke]

as it gets warmer let's all remember the two most beautiful accessories a girl can have this summer are hairy legs and a bunch of bruises from bangin around

[sinni-ok-sessi]

I do think the ability to emoji-react is a net win for human communication. not only does it give you an outlet for 'I see and acknowledge this but don't have a verbal response' but it also adds a pleasing alethiometer element to things

my coworker announces that he's off to the dentist. someone reacts with a tooth emoji. is this a statement of dentist solidarity? a wish for my coworker to return with more (or fewer?) teeth than he set out with? simple word association? who can say

[caffedorzo]

so exhausted by how fundamentally anti-human the capitalist world has become. like ageing, getting fat, being slightly inefficient, and making mediocre art are all extremely normal and extremely human activities, why is every corporation trying to convince us to spend all our money fighting that

[trickstarbrave]

I have been enjoying seeing people experience food this World Cup

[dogpuppy]

[countrygypsywt]

[doppelgender]

you have to grom it "but im scared" then grom it scared

[doppelgender]

[angelicguy]

i think david lynch had a real version of the chuck mcgill electricty disease but he just handled it like a trooper

[sixty-silver-wishes]

happy pride month to the fuck tree I guess

[nintendometro]

Busy Guy ‘Kirby Tilt ‘n Tumble’ Game Boy Color

[06-archive]

[ryan-sometimes]

I think it's so funny how we bred JOBS into dogs. I have two shih tzus and they were bred to be lap dogs. All they care about is looking cute and cuddling with people. Meanwhile my grandma has a border collie and that dog needs to feel so useful all the time, he acts like he will pass away if he doesn't have a job to do constantly

[ryan-sometimes]

The thoughts of my shih tzus: Man I love the couch. Flip flops are so yummy. I wish it was nap time again

The thoughts of my grandma's border collie: I have been silently observing the pigeons up in the tree for 3 hours in order to gain every tactical advantage. I'm trying to engineer the optimal jump into the backyard pool. I wish I could play chess