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[sufjansjoy]

does anybody know how to get out of bed. or be a better person

[sufjansjoy]

wow

[wizardshark]

Where are they now: little German boy

[wizardshark]

[zoctopode]

can you imagine being a parent in the pokemon world and your kid comes home with one of those straight up basically human pokemon. i know those motherfuckers can talk.

its morning. i see my childs Throh getting some oj from the fridge. 'morning', i say. he doesnt catch himself in time and says 'morning' back. he freezes and we both stare at each other knowingly. 'throh,' he says, but its too fucking late

[terramythos]

i must confess i am weak for some sharp cheddar cheese

[nongunktional]

*scribbling notes* "taylor... weak to... cheese slashing ... damage"

[eingedeutscht]

erdmythos

Ich muss zugeben, dass ich eine Schwäche für scharfen Cheddarkäse habe

nichtgunktionsfähig

*sich Notizen mach* „Taylor... verwundbar durch... Käseschlitzschaden“

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

always some new bullshit in the ocean

[local-demon-in-your-area]

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

[validblogname]

one fight at a time

[gaylor-moon]

[grippy3000]

fun fact one of the world champions in pepper-eating contests is a trans woman and she actually faced significant backlash because people somehow thought she had a biological advantage. to eating spicy pepper

[grippy3000]

update bc i went back and checked: her name is brianna “the chilli queen” skinner and she set a record in 2017 by slamming back 23 carolina reapers consecutively. she only stopped when told to by the referees, and the next year she stepped down out of boredom. queen

[pettyartist]

Here's a picture of her, by the way

And her super supportive wife

[nentuaby]

The championship, it should be noted, is unisex. Apparently being a trans woman gives you an innate biological advantage over both cis men and cis women.

[vexwerewolf]

The innate biological advantage of being cool as fuck

[thememedaddy]

[innerchildabortionclinic]

just saw the phrase "abortionable amount of weeks pregnant"

[killuazedykee]

[depsidase]

[thememedaddy]

[lesvegas]

passing in public makes me feel like white shrek

[lesvegas]

literally how it feels

[welpnotagain]

[vamptits]

filtering down ao3 results from 14000 to 6 based on a single tag is foul. im sorry none of you are as enlightened as me ig.

[vamptits]

normal one. next question.

[mothgirl-is-a-gateway-drug-deac]

peer review

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

it has come to my attention there exists a subset of reenactors who go around renaissance faires "infecting" bystanders with the Plague. i wish to thank these heroes for their service

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

yes this can come in the form of dressing up as a pack of rats and offering people "Congratulations! You've Contracted The Black Death" hand stamps, but consider also:

walking around asking people if they want to pet your rat (plushie)

going in character as a fur trader carting around a wagon full of exotic wares at competitive prices

handing people a business card containing only the printed image of a flea (and on the back, the text "uh-oh!")

cosplaying as a giant bacterium

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*hands you my business card* it contains a single drawing of a flea

*instinctively you flip it over searching for information*

[oneheadtoanother]

[tachyon-log]

(USAmerican trying to imagine a societal environment) Okay, so picture a highway,

[fishmech]

inability to correctly perceive 3d objects is in fact far more dangerous when someone is driving a car next to you then when they're like, sending emails to you.

[bunniope]

can we focus on the gnome for a second

[bunniope]

wait sorry i was not wearing my glasses. that is a cat

[ladyofspoons]

these are the people i have to share a highway with

[depsidase]

[depsidase]