Life in the World of Fandoms @bookwormfax1 - Tumblr Blog

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applexxcider

“I asked chat GPT” yeah we can tell

pimentogirl

Favourite moments #1

shanyshko

we need to discuss how in tampa shane hollander went to the pool just to lay on his deck chair and ogle ilya. this is shane hollander we're talking about. in february of a season. he's not even conceivably swimming laps or something he's literally just there to ogle. hedonist

chronicillnesshumor-deactivated

Doctors are like: ughhhhh. You're confusing. Come back if you die

penandinkprincess

okay but little bb shane who learns allergies=don't have to eat that/do that anymore

and thus starts using "i'm allergic to that" as an attempt to get out of things he doesn't like

"i'm allergic to aunt gina's house"

"no, you're not, honey-"

"i'm allergic"

penandinkprincess

OH MY GOD IT CONTINUES BEING A FAMILY JOKE AFTER HE'S GROWN UP

which means a very normal exchange is something like "shane, can you put the laundry in the dryer?" "no, i'm allergic" as he gets up to do it but ilya who is still trying to understand the full scope of this is??? shane no?? if you are allergic?? do not do it?? yuna why are you asking this of him???

and then after ilya has a better grasp on actual allergies versus bit, it gets adopted into their house as well, but NOW it presents issues for anyone ELSE trying to work out wtf is safe to have at a team barbeque or not.

ilya trying to get shane to try the salsa someone brought and shane who hates cilantro even if he's not allergic to it just *head recoil* "ugh, no, i'm allergic"

and the poor new rookie who brought the salsa THINKING it was totally Safe For Hollanders and would make a good impression is just 🥺 what 🥺

skyrigel

yesornopolls

Would you consider the hate for AI at the moment “excessive”?

Yes

Voting ended onJun 7

thespermdonorstorylineisstupid

penandinkprincess

IT MADE SENSE AT THE TIME, OKAY

penandinkprincess

i'll take "things you're going to feel like a dick for saying in about five seconds," alex

penandinkprincess

i'm love them, your honor

penandinkprincess

love is stored in the allergy-aware bits <3

penandinkprincess

extremely funny scenario in which rose joins shane as his plus one and moral support for going after the guy he wants at all stars because she can be his buddy and also his cover for making up for lost time with ilya

which is complicated by the fact that ilya takes one look at rose and shane at the bar (rose's arm looped through shane's in what ilya doesn't know is just a friends move) and BOOKS IT so he doesn't have to see this

and then proceeds to avoid them at EVERY fucking turn

this all terminates into rose going "fuck it I'm a true bro and I'm making this happen so help me GOD" and managing to arrange locking them in a closet together (which is. so funny. but this is not the time to point out the punchline.) (she'll save it.) so ilya can't run away.

and it's very sweet and they have their moment of honesty and yay back to ilya's room now fo-

the-the door is locked.

because it turns out that rose got a LITTLE too enthusiastic in locking it after her plan worked PERFECTLY and now something in the mechanism is broken.

so in one sense, shane did come out of the closet, but in another sense that's going to be funny only probably a few months from now, he AND ilya are now stuck in the closet in a way that is both metaphorical and also. painfully literal.

penandinkprincess

Adult Shane still not always being sure whether he's having an allergic reaction or a panic attack... like breathing bad, limbs tingly, feels like he's dying... but is he actually

i have a very special scenario in my head of shane who is used to feeling like this and finding a quiet place to assess what tf is happening to him rn so he can decide if cold water on his face or hospital.

(not even considering the fact that hiding away while potentially having a life-threatening allergic response is an AWFUL move).

and i am especially endeared by the idea of it going from him going off and doing this by himself to ilya clocking him leaving the room in a way that says Not Okay and following him and the two of them in just a quiet little pocket of space together, with shane having already handed over his auvi-q (the version of an epipen that fits in a suit pocket) just in case.

just very sweet to imagine that this is still scary and frustrating to have to deal with and tbh? still feels a little embarassing even if he knows it shouldn't, but it is also nice that there's someone with him who just Gets It and who will sit quietly with him until he can decide what's happening and help him if he needs it.

penandinkprincess

OH MAN in vegas, ilya canonically was freaking out ahead of time in anticipation of seeing shane again, so i posit that he was denying that he was freaking the fuck out and was trying to lie to himself and say it was just low blood sugar, so he grabbed something from craft services backstage.

and it's fucking. peanut butter crackers.

and he chews some mint gum in another attempt to settle himself so shane doesn't end up smelling it on him, but him kissing shane in the vegas bathroom then means contact with it, and shane's reaction wasn't from exposure earlier, bUT IT IS NOW.

penandinkprincess

THIRD OPTION: EXTREMELY UNFORTUNATE TIME TO PURSUE FINGER SUCKING AFTER ILYA WAS PICKING AT THINGS DURING THE WAIT FOR SHANE TO SHOW UP AT THE PENTHOUSE BUT ALSO DRINKING VODKA SO SHANE DOESN'T SMELL IT ON HIS BREATH

STILL NO KISSING DURING THE PENTHOUSE FUCKING, BUT THANKS TO THE POWER OF ALLERGENS ON THE FINGERS SHANE SO HAPPILY TAKES INTO HIS MOUTH, THESE MOTHERFUCKERS NOW GET TO EXPERIENCE DOMDROP, SUBDROP, AND ANAPHYLAXIS ALL AT THE SAME TIME

penandinkprincess

GOD the panic and angst of shane trying to communicate what's happening and get ilya to grab his epipen out of his inner jacket pocket (assuming he even has it on him by some fucking miracle) and ilya at first thinking this is just a bad panic attack because that's the only guess he would have based on past experience with shane, and he's trying to do the same move of kissing him to calm him down, but shane already can't breathe right and also doesn't know WHAT the contaminant was so doesn't want to risk more contact

but now ilya thinks it was him being too rough or missing a signal that shane wanted to stop and being HORRIFIED at the idea and immediately backing away, but shane reaches for him both because he is experiencing impending doom as an element of the reaction and also REALLY needs ilya to get his epipen for him and him trying to back across the room is NOT HELPFUL FOR THAT GET BACK HERE

penandinkprincess

I am LIVING for the Shane allergies 😂 As someone who has multiple severe food allergies, I cannot overstate to you the amount that people just…make it your entire personality???

Like, severe allergies are weird because they are extremely disruptive to your life, but also you just kind of…deal with it? Like, it is just so part of your everyday that it kind of becomes background noise. But then I’ll talk to an acquaintance I haven’t seen in a while, or an extended family member I’m not that close to, and the FIRST THING that comes to them is always “How are the food allergies?” As if they have not remained exactly the same since birth, and as if I have not done anything else with my life. I’ve literally gotten my dream job, traveled halfway around the world, and have a thriving adult life, and people still feel the need to tell me about their second cousin’s best friend who also has allergies, or try to show me an article about the newest juice cleanse that cures allergies. (Spoiler: that’s not how allergies work, but that’s a whole different thing 🙄)

Anyway, itty bitty Shane Hollander who is so sick and tired of people acting like he has no personality outside of his allergies. He wants to be known as a great hockey player, and Todd from math class just wants to talk about how it’s so rough that Shane can’t have dairy, he can’t imagine living without cake/cookies/cheese/insert whatever food here. And Aunt so and so buying a birthday gift that he has NO interest in (he wanted new hockey gear), and then he has to smile and nod as she asks him how the allergies are and tells him about her coworker’s kid who outgrew his allergy. Keep your chin up, buddy! Maybe someday you’ll outgrow YOUR allergies and then your life will be fixed. And then he goes to school and they pass out Snickers as a fundraising reward and he has to tell the vice principal that he is allergic, actually, and the vice principal hemming and hawing before he tells him that Shane knows his allergies best and asks what Shane would recommend to deal with it.

Just itty bitty Shane getting SO fed up and throwing himself into hockey, vowing that SOMEDAY people will think about him and “has allergies” will not be the first thing that comes up in their mental file about him.

literally a driving point behind him just. not ever mentioning it whenever possible lmao.

penandinkprincess

i know in my heart that post-outing, ilya is using the FUCK out of "because you are homophobic?" when he's not getting his way

you will not let him have the seat he wants on this bus? ah, he sees. clearly the homophobia.

you will not give him the lemon-lime gatorade and are trying to keep it for yourself? you think gays should have to drink only fruit punch? he is telling twitter IMMEDIATELY.

you will not come cuddle with him instead of doing the dishes? just because he is queer? "ilya, i am literally your gay husband." "yes, violence from within the alphabet is the worst kind. 😔" "🙄"

bolshe-ilya

Lmao, and I bet he learned it from Harris.

Like when he first moved to Ottawa, Harris doesn't know what to make of a russian player with a shiny orthodox cross hanging on his neck. But he has never shied away from being himself so tries to make friends like he does with everyone.

Slowly he learns Ilya isn't like that and is quite comfortable with Harris being more outwardly gay, and even enjoys joking with Harris about it.

So one day they are talking in the locker room and the coach comes in and tells Harris OK get out now, the team has to practice. And Harris is like oh, so now you're kicking out the only gay guy here? I see. That's really homophobic.

Ilya is struck with jealousy, esp as he sees him make this joke more often.

One day, Ilya tells Harris he can't stay late to film a video for social media and Harris calls him homophobic. Ilya has to pinch his thigh to stop him from informing Harris that he is the one being homophobic by asking Ilya to cancel his plans to drive home to suck his boyfriend's dick.