wallacepolsom
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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YOU ARE THE REASON
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Sade Olutola
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Janaina Medeiros
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#extradirty
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@bpdnpdog
she/her > any, adult. @dexcel58 's vent side blog, mainly dedicated to Cluster B disorders, specifically BPD and NPD, since I have them. here I'll be sharing my experience as someone living with these disorders. I also have other mental disorders, but these are "the main ones."
DNI: if you romanticize or demonize Cluster B disorders, radqueers
It's absolutely insane how much my abuser messed with my head. At first, when we were still in contact, they constantly blamed me for all their problems and failures. And because of them, I genuinely believed I was some irredeemable monster. Even after I left them and had no contact for a long time, that feeling never left me. But then, when my abuser came back to torment me again… only now do I realize that I was never the real monster here.
God, this shit affected my psyche so badly that because of the abuse, I had zero creative growth. I draw and create my own characters, and due to my abuser's influence, I literally made no progress in any of that while we were in contact. Everything just stayed stuck. The moment I started to forget about them - my drawing skills improved SIGNIFICANTLY.
Still, I'm really scared to post about this. I'm afraid they're still stalking me.”
The craziest part is that this piece of shit is now trying to spread all sorts of lies about me. First, they accused me of pedophilia (which I've already proven false, with all the evidence). And when that pedophilia story didn't work, this asshole decided to accuse me of RAPE - when I have NEVER once been to their country (we live in different countries). I can literally show my passport with stamps from every country I've actually visited, and their country won't be there.
Turns out, this fucker meant "rape" as in mutually consensual online ERP (how do you even roleplay without consent??? wtf??????). By their logic, that makes me a rapist. Well shit, then they're a rapist too, considering they drew a ton of rape-fetish art, more than me, and even before me! /s
As an actual CSA survivor - go fuck yourself. Just go fuck yourself, you spoiled, beloved-by-your-parents freak. You pathetic, victim-complex-having piece of shit who can't take responsibility and decided to make me your scapegoat. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I know you're reading this. And don't even start whining that I'm "bullying" you. I'm not naming you on this blog, and I'm not going to - unless you out yourself first. I'm not telling anyone to harass you. Remember - criticizing someone's behavior is not bullying, even if this criticism is harsh. Now get the fuck off my blogs.
It's absolutely insane how much my abuser messed with my head. At first, when we were still in contact, they constantly blamed me for all their problems and failures. And because of them, I genuinely believed I was some irredeemable monster. Even after I left them and had no contact for a long time, that feeling never left me. But then, when my abuser came back to torment me again… only now do I realize that I was never the real monster here.
God, this shit affected my psyche so badly that because of the abuse, I had zero creative growth. I draw and create my own characters, and due to my abuser's influence, I literally made no progress in any of that while we were in contact. Everything just stayed stuck. The moment I started to forget about them - my drawing skills improved SIGNIFICANTLY.
Still, I'm really scared to post about this. I'm afraid they're still stalking me.
It's absolutely insane how much my abuser messed with my head. At first, when we were still in contact, they constantly blamed me for all their problems and failures. And because of them, I genuinely believed I was some irredeemable monster. Even after I left them and had no contact for a long time, that feeling never left me. But then, when my abuser came back to torment me again… only now do I realize that I was never the real monster here.
How those so-called "empaths" look at you when they find out that because of your disorder you have little to no empathy (you automatically become a subhuman who deserves the worst things in life including all the trauma that got you to this point in the first place)
Did you know that if you never tell a person with a mental disorder that affects their understanding of social norms that they've done something wrong they'll never learn to do better?
I don't understand why some people — knowing full well that I have autism, knowing full well that I struggle to read others' emotions and feelings, especially through text — still expected me, by default, to behave perfectly in a way that would never hurt them. But when I did sense that something was wrong and asked if everything was okay, they told me 'yes' — when in the end, it turned out nothing was okay. And somehow I was the bad one for not realizing it right away
There's someone who, in just one year, reached heights I couldn't even dream of in three years of working, and we're doing the exact same thing. And fucking hell I hate it. Why. Just why. It's so unfair.
Fun fact! When someone tells you they have low/no empathy, it is wrong and disrespectful when you respond with hostility, and asking stupid questions like if they kick puppies or manipulate people.
No, seriously, don’t respond like this.
‘empathy is what makes us human.’
not only is this statement massively ableist towards people with disorders that inhibit their ability to experience empathy, but it’s also generally incredibly flawed.
what about the animals that are proven to experience empathy?
what about the fact that orca are actually the ones who have the most complex insular cortex in existence, which points to them being more capable of empathy than human beings?
does this mean that you believe orca are more human than us?
food for thought.
There is no such thing as “the evil kill-people disorder that makes you kill people”; it has always been a myth made up by demonization to sell more ableism.
Right. I have NPD and BPD because I was loved so much and constantly told 24/7 what a great kid I was. I need constant support and love from others because my childhood was just fucking wonderful. Uh-huh. It's not like I have any trauma. I was just born a piece of shit. Yep. /sar
and now for the people in the back:
NARCISSISTIC ABUSE DOESN'T EXIST!
WHAT YOU MEAN TO SAY IS EMOTIONAL ABUSE!
STOP DEMONIZING AN ENTIRE GROUP OF PEOPLE (thats a TON of ppl btw) WHO HAVE NO FAULT OF THEIR OWN IN DEVELOPING A DISORDER CAUSED BY ABUSE AND TRAUMA IN AND OF ITSELF!
YOU ARE ONLY DOWNPLAYING AND DISMISSING EMOTIONAL ABUSE, WHEN ITS JUST AS TRAUMATIZING AS ANYTHING ELSE!
if you use 'narcissistic abuse' as a legitimate category then you also have to acknowledge 'autistic-' or 'depressive abuse'! you cant use one but then discard everything else because suddenly "that doesnt exist"!
you want to be the good guys? then maybe stop demonizing people who also just have a disorder. im not excusing harmful behaviour or trauma, we all make mistakes, even egotypicals. what i want is for you to stop grouping in every bad experience or interaction with us! WE ARE NOT MONSTERS!
try to understand, not demonize. mocking, triggering, shaming and putting down narcissists for their symptoms or disorder is ableist and abusive and will never move anyone to get better!
How to tell if your man is a narcissist GUIDE
1.Dick so huge you can stack 6 donuts on it
…So just the effects of abuse?
So… JUST ABUSE?
"Don't compliment a narcissist you'll feed their ego"
So actually the gradiosity is activated when I am ignored/neglected or not complimented. You think the trigger of my traumagenic disorder is??? Compliments???
Guys i was complimented too much and constsntly cared for as a kid and now if ur nice to me it makea me a crazy ego maniac. I will only be normal if you treat me like garbage and ignore me that is good for a person for sure.
people with NPD, BPD, HPD, and ASPD are loved, valuable, beautiful, and kind. I know because I love them :)
if you think "narc abuse" is real, you're uneducated and unsympathetic. and you're missing out on a beautiful friendship. get bent
“How to break a narcissist”
“How to manipulate a narcissist”
“How to isolate a narcissist”
Hey! That’s an awesome way to exacerbate a pwNPD’s symptoms and make BOTH of your situations even worse <33
