It does actually blow me away that amatonormativity (the societal belief that everyone thrives best in and should desire a monogamous romantic relationship) is not a more frequently discussed topic in activist spaces because it is so fucking useful to describe so many aspects of society relating to misogyny, abuse, financial pressure, medical restrictions, family structures, etc but it's either completely unheard of or treated as a joke.
And frankly, as an aro and acespec person, I am fully fucking aware that the refusal of a lot of people on tumblr to use the term amatonormativity is centered around aphobia because apparently no one else is affected by lressure to be in a monogamous romantic relationship enough to talk about it, right? I am tired.
I think when you correctly identify a trauma that is the base of a woe of yours it should just disappear. It should be like "aaahh. you got me" and vanish and leave 100 dollars behind
#if you line up several neuroses and identify the interlocking connections between them they should all vanish like clearing a line in tetris (via @karliahs)
hyperfixation please stay with me long enough to complete the project. hyperfixation do not fade. hyperfixation finish what you started for the love of god
Hello!! If you don't mind the question, how do you journal?
(been trying to journal for many years in the past, in the genuine 'write down what you feel/think' way, but I've had parents who always snooped through my things so I'd avoid or hide or get rid of the pages once I've written it down. I still live with them, but I decided to give journaling another try)
For now I just do copy-work, and it helps because I have smth to do daily for about two hours or so. I also make little doodles of characters I love (they're both very unhinged and morally ambiguous, perfect for journaling)
If this ask is bothering you in any way, please don't hesitate to ignore/delete it! Have a nice day!!
Asks are never a bother ty for sending this in! Love the addition of doodles to Journaling.
There's about 3 ways I journal. Lists, gratitude, and actually big bad scary diary style essay vibe Journaling.
In my journal I keep check lists/to do lists. They are not very organized but provide enough organization to my life to help w a lot of the ADHD stuff. I use it to remind myself I am being productive and to give myself a very loose structure of things I can do if im bored / need to do.
Example:
Text hair stylist
Check appointment dates
Log into canvas
Paint nails
Doodle dnd characters
Drop off friends belongings
Get breakdast w bestie
Drink a liquid IV
Wash face
It includes things i need to get done, things I will do regardless, and things I do for fun. I also will add things and check them off after I've already done them so its a way to journal what I did for the day. By adding the small things I do regardless like drink a liquid IV and wash my face I remind myself how even a day that I feel like im doing nothing is full of tons of little tasks and that I am still productiv when im relaxing. Also when I grt stuck in adhd freeze / executive dysfunction it can help give ne direction with not only chores, but hobbies too.
The gratitude Journaling is very basic and is just listing all of the things I am grateful for. This does not mean that I feel immense gratitude or joy its just point blank I am glad this is a thing I have. It is very grounding for me when im splittingnand have deciding everything sucks and there is no joy in my life at all and can keep me from having a full episode, as well as kinda just affirms my sense of self which again keeps me from losing it as often or being triggered as easily.
Ex:
I had fun coaching today. I am glad that I got to hang out w my friends before they moved. I am super happy we are bringing back my favorite dnd campaign. There's so many good TV shows I want to watch. My Playlist i just started has such a good vibe going. I love my room decor and cant wait to move it all in and be back in college mode. I am happy I spent my summer in the sun and proud of how I did at my job. There's so many options for how I spend my winter thst have good outcomes for me.
Then theres the big bad trauma Journaling. There's two ways I do this. Thought vomit and thought analysis. Thought vomit is when im actively in an episode and have that terrible feeling of restlessness and impulsiveness and I try to document how I feel and find the source / steer myself away from breaking things or doing something harmful. My therapist has me switch pen colors for wvery train of thought/mood swings so these are often very crazy and sparatic and are like 5 people Journaling at onfe because I cycle through the extremes very quickly.
This is also my biggest ptsd Journaling strategy. It has helped me identify whst episodes look like to me and what behaviors and feelings that seem totally unrelated actually connect back to a trigger. When the smallest weirdest thing sends me into severe distress this is the best way to work backwards until I identify why its triggering. This can be really hard as it often involved fucked shit w my memory and also revisiting the events in extreme detail but can be really helpful when its needed.
I just wrote a whole response to an ask and then accidentally deleted it
Dear anon who asked about Journaling i will rewrite and post that tommorow morning 🖤🖤 unfortunately it ks near 1 am and my allergy medicine makes me really sleepy so I am going to wait </3
Plural moots (or ant systems actually moot or nawt) please explain pro-endo people to me bc I cannot figure out what their talking points even are. OR SOMEBODY PRO ENDO! literally anyone lol I just feel like theres a point where hearing from actual people in a more unfiltered vs books and articles will always bring a diff vibe to the conversation.
Use me as a place to rant aboht syscourse with as much buffoonery or bias as u want this isnt a medical journal its my tumblr.
As far as I can tell its like "youre being close minded for saying you have to check diagnostic criteria to have this disorder" which i find ridiculous.
That being said
With a disorder characterized by big time amnesia are there just a lot of endos who think they aren't traumagenic but actually are??
Are endos people with another disorder they dont know about bc like... id theres no trauma how do you treat it?
And also - mental health and medical research will always grow and change so who's to say this set of diagnostic criteria is the bees knees anyways ig?? Soooo why couldn't their be just developmental whoopsies that lead to DID?
Also note hi systems ily and trauma disorders are really unfun (im a personality disorder haver im like your second cousin) and I dont think that i can be swayed by did as a traumgenic disorder will always be a unique experience and deserve a separate space from any systemic thinking that isnt as that the support traumatized people need is always going 2 be different than others.
If I said smth out of pocket correct me and come for me my arms are open bbs.
When you're expressing your NPD thoughts/behaviors to someone, but you're suddenly just hit with the urge to image control.
So you just immediately have to go "but yeah, I know that's irrational, and it's not my real thoughts. I know it's bad. I'm not actually like that, chat. Please believe me and don't think less/worse of me. I'm actually so cool and so self-aware which is Good. It all stays inside my head and I am Not Toxic or A Bad Person. Trust."
Then you can't vent or ask for support without giving the 10 page disclaimer explaining you understand its irrational and an illness which totally undermines the fact that it is something you are needing support with!!!!! Bc its just percieved and handled totally differently than literally every other mental illness.
Like irritability and snappiness as the result of autism, adhd, depression, overstimulation, anxiety, or whatever? Oh its fine we all have it happen like we will give you some space let me know if you need anything like understandable.
Same mood as the result of npd or bpd? Wow and like are you even safe to ve around rn are you gonna snap are you losing it oh your REAL self is showing now.
Hate that self love and practicing self care genuinely is such a direct impact on my symptoms and regulation. Like I painted my nails and did a face mask and did gratitude Journaling but not in a cute aesthetic way in a If I dont I will break things and engage in insane unsafe behaviors and idk if people get that when we bond over little self care habits LMAOOO
Reminder that w disorders stemming from neglect and rejection your symptoms do get worse if you neglect and reject yourself. Big sigh i hate when my therapist is right.
I like my protagonists sad, tired, bitter, fully convinced they will never get the recognition they deserve, but they still gotta get up in the morning and be a good person
I fucking hate that the general response to RFK Jr's eugenist take on autistic people is "autistic people do pay taxes, autistic people do work, autistic people do date!"
Some autistic people don't and that shouldn't make them less worthy of life. Some autistic people do need constant help and support and that shouldn't make them less worthy of life.
Once again we're falling in the right wing trap of :
They make a hateful, fascist statement
Instead of focusing on the fact that it is hateful and fascist we try to show them that they are factually wrong
We throw our own allies and the most vulnerable of us under the bus in the process
We legitimise an only slightly less hateful, fascist view as we go
They have completed their goal of making us accept the still hateful, fascist second version, hurrah. What a victory.
Right now what we're getting to with that is that autistic people who can work and pay taxes are okay, and the others aren't. Fuck this shit.
Same thing happens with the people who are being deported ("they have a visa!", "they didn't even have a criminal record!" -> even if they didn't have a visa, even if they did have a criminal record, deporting them and detaining them in what's essentially a concentration camp wouldn't be okay, you absolute tools of fascism.)
bpd culture is waiting. waiting for them to text you back. waiting for you to magically not have this disorder anymore. waiting for the paranoia to settle. waiting for the apology you're never going to get. waiting for your friends to notice that you're gone. waiting for them to get tired of you. waiting for something, anything to change.
dededos
jacobvanloon
kaledo-art
yousharknotpass
gummygunk
titsay
izzy806
vaporwave
turnnoffyourmind
