Lonely Force of Nature

Breezy Breeze

[peniswakt-deactivated20210717]

this dude was the fucking blueprint. no idea exactly what he was the blueprint for, mind you, but he indisputably was the blueprint

[tearlessrain]

I love those discord chats where you only know one person’s name so it’s like “yes these are my friends dragonfucker, gandalf, the raven lord, 6000 bees, and George”

[disc80s]

[sophiebegins]

the fact that my eyes don’t glow when i’m at my strongest is unacceptable and not on brand

[0ctostim]

[glocc-blocc]

[libertarirynn-deactivated202006]

Male positivity? In my branding? It’s more likely than you think

[slumberinggirl-deactivated20210]

I love this

[lil-bitchnugget-blog]

Y E S. FINALLY

[citizen-zero]

AXE realized their target demographic are the preteen and teen boys who over-apply their product and decided to do something good for these impressionable youths

[jasper-rolls]

today we will eat at deodorant

[okayysophia]

[wanderingquill]

To paraphrase another tumblr post about cheating spouses.

"House ruiners or marriage ruiners don't just show up at your door. They're formally invited by the cheater. They are figuratively walked through the threshold by the cheating spouse. Most never intended to be the "other person". But the cheater fully intended for them to be.

[penroseparticle]

My favorite thing is that Europe is spooky because it’s old and America is spooky because it’s big

[meduseld]

“The difference between America and England is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way.” –Earle Hitchner

[burntcopper]

A fave of mine was always the american tales where people freaked out because ‘someone died in this house’ and all the europeans would go ‘…Yes? That would be pretty much every house over 40 years old.’

‘…My school is older than your entire town.’

‘Sorry, you think *how far* is okay to travel for a shopping trip?’

*American looks up at the beams in a country pub* ‘Uh, this place has woodworm, isn’t that a bit unsafe?’ ‘Eh, the woodworm’s 400 years old, it’s holding those beams together.’

[bedlamsbard]

A few years ago when I was in college I did a summer program at Cambridge aimed specifically at Americans and Canadians, and my year it was all Americans and one Australian.  We ended the program with a week in Wessex, and on the last day as we all piled onto the bus in Salisbury (or Bath? I can’t remember), the professors went to the front to warn us that we wouldn’t be making any stops unless absolutely necessary.  We’re headed to Heathrow to drop off anyone flying off the same day, then back to Cambridge.

“All right, it’s going to be a long bus ride, so make sure you’re prepared for that.”

We all brace ourselves.  A long bus ride?  How long?  We’re Americans; a long bus ride for us is a minimum of six hours with the double digits perfectly plausible.  We can handle a twelve hour bus ride as long as we get a bathroom break.

The answer.  “Two hours.”

Oh.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

English people trying to travel around Australia and wildly underestimating distance are my favourite thing

[marzipanandminutiae]

a tour guide in France told my school group that a particular cathedral wouldn’t interest us much because “it’s not very old; only from the early 1600s”

to which we had to respond that it was still older than the oldest surviving European-style buildings in our country

[iguana-sneeze]

China is both old and big. I had some Chinese colleagues over; we were discussing whether they wanted to see the Vasa ship (hugely expensive war ship which sank on it’s maiden voyage after 12 min). They asked if it was old, I said “not THAT old” (bearing in mind they were Chinese) “it’s from the 1500s.” To my surprise they still looked impressed, nodding enthusiatically. Then I realised I’d forgotten something: “…I mean it’s from the 1500s AFTER the birth of Christ” and they went “oh, AFTER…”.

[ceescedasticity]

My dad’s favorite quote from various tours in Italy was “Pay no attention to the tower – it was a [scornful tone] tenth century addition.”

[copperbadge]

My last boss was Chinese, and she said when her parents came to visit her from Beijing they pronounced Chicago “A very nice village.” 

[blondegingersaxon]

This post keeps getting better

[kaijuno]

When I was researching my family tree, I found reputable records all the way back to about 900AD (Scotland - I’m American) and even now I can hardly wrap my head around how long ago that was. Like anything older than 300 years to the Americans is ANCIENT and here I am sorting through church records almost 1100 years old like its nbd

[re-pu-ta-ti-on]

the two horsemen of the apocalypse

[mysharona1987]

Like, you want janitors and McDonald fast food workers and cleaners.

You just don’t want them to make a liveable wage and have healthcare and be treated like proper human beings.  

[lonelytartcake]

I never understood this. The very teachers who would always bring McDonalds to their workplace for lunch would fear monger us about getting a job as a burger flipper in Micky Ds.

This type of outrage and weird hate for people in these work fields are made out of the alienation and isolation of people in their workplaces and their disastisfaction with their lives.

[toastpotent-deactivated20250619]

[peniswakt-deactivated20210717]

if i had a dollar for every pixel in this image i’d have 15 cents

[toastpotent-deactivated20250619]

if i had a dollar for every ounce of rage i felt in my body after i read this comment i would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you

[256x224-deactivated20240130]

actually I did the math, they would have $225, not $0.15

[peniswakt-deactivated20210717]

sis i’m right here….

[yugirimistwalker]

if i had a dollar i would buy a can of soda :)

[toastpotent-deactivated20250619]

while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?

[yugirimistwalker]

sorry i only have a dollar

[toastpotent-deactivated20250619]

:(

[256x224-deactivated20240130]

hey I just realized my friend Vriska is right, they would have $22500 not $225

^my friend Vriska

[yugirimistwalker]

if i had $22,500 i would buy a can of soda and an apply juice

[256x224-deactivated20240130]

You can buy anything you want with $22500

[optimisticbananaharmony-deactiv]

yeah and they want soda and apply juice

[256x224-deactivated20240130]

apply juice to what

[zvaigzdelasas]

directly to the forehead

[asundergrowth]

Great post guys

[peniswakt-deactivated20210717]

Don’t blame this on me!

[the-battle-lesbian]

EVERYONE STOP AND LOOK AT THIS

Have you ever heard of Shaun Keenan? Probably not, but you have now.

Amazing art of dinosaurs in the wild American West? Yes please!

There’s so many he’s done and they’re all just the best aesthetic.

What I never knew I needed but a void has definitely been filled.

Go to his website and give some support!

http://shaunkeenan.com/

[chiefofboatwatsonstittymug]

@dandy–hare

[danisontnonfire]

How often do it be like that

[crocogatordile]

why did purrloin just like, do that

[troutstuff]

do what

[crocogatordile]

[colorfulmusings]

Yes, Idris Elba. I probably should be.

[whclocked]

I refreshed my tumblr page and this shows up… I never felt so guilty for not writing in my life… -__-”

[sullivantwissarcana]

New rule. Reblog this whenever you see it in order to get writers to try and do more writing. Or to help students that need to do their work.

[zzdigital]

What if someone got bitten by a vampire, but didn’t realize it. So then they go around and keep misidentifying all the symptoms, like

“Dude, you haven’t gone outside in a while.” “Yeah, last time I went out I got this wicked sunburn.”

“Are you still up?” “Yeah, I started bing watching this show on Netflix.”

“Dude, I’m seriously craving something right now.” “Like what?” “I dunno. Pizza rolls?”

[adriofthedead]

“Why is it that you never come into my house unless I invite you?” “Um, it’s called ‘being polite’…?”

[paulichu]

“I tried cooking with garlic the other night and got this serious burn on my hand. I think I’m allergic, but all I’m getting on Google is vampire bullshit.”

[samarajournal]

“Dude can a mirror like… stop working or something?”

[espeoradar]

“Dude, why do you keep posting pictures of the floor?” “…Those are meant to be selfies, I guess my camera must be broken.”

“Dude, I am all for you expressing your religious beliefs, but could you not wear your crucifix when I’m around? It really bugs me for some reason.”

[recondite-room]

“Have you ever noticed how cute bats are? like really noticed? sweet lil balls of fluff with wings man.”

[nickthepigeon]

“I want to sleep in a coffin…ya kno, for like… aesthetic”

[therightprometheanfire]

“What’s with your thing about necks lately?”

“MUST YOU KINKSHAME ME IN MY OWN HOME”

[hopetimistic]

“I looked up my symptoms on WebMD, and it says I have cancer.”

[samwise-the-true-hero-deactivat]

This last addition made the reblog obligatory. This one wins.

[pure-self-deprecation]

[judasisgayriot]

The breadsticks thing to me is hilarious I think it must be another Europe/America thing bc my whole life ‘breadsticks’ have been these hard crunchy thin stick things you buy them at the supermarket and it says breadsticks on the box Never in my life has anyone around me referred to an actual stick of bread as a breadstick lmao But then we don’t have Olive Garden either

[newblogisnotjustanoxymoron-deac]

wait, that’s not what they’re talking about?

[wildwood-faun]

Are you telling me this meme is not about grissini? My life is a lie!

[stammsternenstaub]

WHAT

[entomancy]

I… did wonder why there would be such a focus on going to somewhere with unlimited dry wheat twigs.  Googling ‘olive garden breadsticks’ does seem to suggest a tastier thing.

Huh.

[crumplelush]

this changes everything

[little-fleur-deactivated2015103]

I mean, I thought it was odd that they everyone was so excited about breadsticks… but then I thought, well, it’s America…

[lachatblanche]

Wait they’re talking about actual bread???

[kernezelda]

grissini:

breadsticks:

[cyanwrites]

… I want American breadsticks. ;_;

[shanology]

@goodbyecassiel - this is the Great Breadstick Misunderstanding, companion to the Epic Lemonade Confusion post

[accursedvoid]

@charlottedabookworm my life is a lie

[charlottedabookworm]

Omfg same

wtaf why did nobody ever tell us they were talking about actual bread?!?!

[garrettauthor]

We literally did tell you. We. We used the word BREAD.

[ardent-ace]

but………… those aren’t breadsticks!

[garrettauthor]

They are sticks.

Of bread.

🤷‍♂️

[crewdlydrawn-deactivated2022072]

We didn’t know you had breadtwigs instead.

[defectivegembrain]

OH the joke is funnier than previously thought because those are bigger and therefore it would be harder and more socially awkward to shove them into your purse! Lol

[runcibility]

I feel like this is explaining a joke to Vulcans who are totally game to try humor, and I’m loving it.