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One Nice Bug Per Day
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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Cosmic Funnies
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@brightddarkness
Hi I live in Richmond VA and I love my city so much, this morning 60 people woke up to find old television sets just sitting on their porches or lawns. Even better, those with security cameras recorded the person(s) responsible and they cannot be identified because they were wearing a jumpsuit and tv on their head
A new local cryptid I’m so stoked
The Ascent, Larisa Shepitko, 1977
My last three brain cells
Indigenous people in Attawapiskat cannot drink their water or bathe themselves, and haven’t been able to for weeks. They called a state of emergency.
What is Justin Trudeau’s response?
1 litre per day of water for kids under 2 years old. 1.5 litres per elder. The Tribal council must pay for this water in advance before they can be reimbursed next month.
This is shameful.
https://twitter.com/CharlieAngusNDP/status/1152558561496616961
Tagging: @abpoli @politicsofcanada @onpoli @torontopoli @ontarionewsnow
have i ever told you guys that my cat has a hole in her sock
it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning
@robotmango, you need to work for the weather forecast - this was both hilarious and so vivid it made me stand up and get some iced tea.
this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit. pretty great. now it’s ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a “borrower” that got trapped inside a bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved. you can see on my doppler radar that nothing is moving around out there because everything is probably dead. the only alive thing is the mosquito currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no surprise that all the shitbag mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature. this forecast has gotten away from me a little, but in conclusion fuck the sun
I think I’ve reblogged this before, but “the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature” is fucking poetry
ninety nine???? thats IT????????? buddy here in the 7th circle of h*ck, California, we get up to at LEAST 110 degrees every single gosh darned summer. the bugs seek revenge. the sun wreaks havoc on the mere mortals it surveys. every plant has turned brown in its thirst for water. the very air itself has been sucked dry of every drip of moisture it ever had.
ninety nine degrees. you weak fool.
well since you asked so politely, let’s talk about something very important vis a vis weather-hotness that you clearly ain’t ever heard of, called
humidity
oh alas, you say. oh papa, whatever shall i do, it is ever so hotte and drye in california. the very air hath been sucked of all its moisturey droplets and whatnot.* one hundredy and tennith desiccated degrees!
*(yo, drought is serious. i am pretty obviously not making fun of that.)
alright. let’s check it out. here’s a random california city, right about now:
thirty-two percent. and here’s a random mid-atlantic city located somewhere in the wet fleshy crease behind a demon’s knee*:
*(confession: i do not live in dc, but several years ago i spent three weeks steaming like a tinned ham in arlington in august. none of the pants i took with me could ever keep a crease again.)
huh! funny thing! “see, dc’s actually seven degrees COOLER,” you say, because you’ve obviously never gone outside and taken a deep lungful of wet sock trash air in your life. and now for added bliss, here’s what early wednesday morning’s gonna be like for these poor clowns:
that’s right! eighty-two percent humidity! the point at which showers no longer matter, because you’re all caught in God’s grease trap! just stressed human eels miserably slip slidin’ their way through a damp melty bathwater-flavored hellscape that feels like it’s actively sous viding their top layer of skin! a hundred thousand people packed into public transit breathing air that feels like deepthroating swamp thing! and you wanna talk to me about fuckin california!
[cue science voice]: human bodies cool through evaporation, a process by which the body sweats and sweet invisible angels towel us off, whisking away our unwanted moisture into the air and literally chilling us out. (it’s also why air conditioned air feels so fucking deliciously refreshing: it’s not just being cooled, it’s being conditioned, aka, dehumidified. it’s cool dry air.) but. if the air is already made out of fucking chowder and can’t absorb shit then guess what the fuck our bodies can’t do.
so is this weak fool gonna remain indoors and hydrated through this only medium-hot but fuckoff-humid season? you bet your dried out ass.
It’s the 10 year anniversary of 2009…
I can’t believe all these bops were released in the same year
We’re old
JFC, I’m old.
You know, popwise, 2009 was a very good vintage. https://youtu.be/iNzrwh2Z2hQ
hey, bro? are we vibing? are we connecting on the spiritual plane, bro? your aura is striking. can i kiss you deeply, dude?
this episode of mythbusters started with an apology holy shit
Oh the cannonball ain’t nothin compared to the esparto incident.
The what now
They were testing the phrase “knock your socks off” and because its the mythbusters build team (which consists of 3 boom addicted gremlins) they decided to go to a quarry near Esparto california to test the myth by blowing shit up. This time they got 500 pounds of ANFO. The detonation was pretty damn big.
They started getting phone calls, turns out they and the experts underestimated the size of the kaboom, reports of broken windows, car alarms going off, people getting knocked out of their seats, hell one news station reported that they leveled the town.
According to grant, that’s why they can no longer go back to esparto.
LMFAO nobody can rival the power of the mythbusters
I’ve seen people talk about how adam and jamie are the polar opposite in energies but the build team operated on the same wavelength 90% of the time and that wavelength was “kaboom.”
hashtag animashun
lol turn on the sound
me: im tired
Someone in walmart: NOT as tired as our TROOPS!
Alternatively, a mother: Just wait until you have kids :)
Honestly the two worst kinds of people ever oh yeah and “wait until you’re my age” the fucking three horsemen of undermining your pain
what about the fourth horseman of “what about all those starving orphans in africa”
“Not as tired as our troops!”: War “Just wait until you have kids”: Pestilence “Wait until you’re my age”: Death “What about all the starving kids in Africa?”: Famine
That’s…. surprisingly accurate.
me in 50 years
I want to know what Miyuki did to piss off the fire nation the first time
stop hooking up with men who dont respect you bc nothing good will come out of it. you can play it cool and say u know it’s just a fwb thing but we both know u want someone who at least treats you like a human being rather than a fleshlight that is ready whenever they say so. no man is worth putting your self respect on the side and settling with a situation that’s leaving you emotionally drained
I understand this more and more the older I become. I hope one day we can have the discussion of how sometimes girls and women will use casual sex as a subconscious form of self harm and how men literally do not care about the mental state of the women they sleep with.
We had to write a Mini Comic for my Illustration Class so I did mine based on The Frog and The Scorpion. Hopefully you all know the story!
But if you don’t know the story… In the original the scorpion stings the frog in the middle of the river. When the frog asks “why” the scorpion says “it’s in my nature” and they both die. I like my ending more.
Done with watercolor and pen and ink nib.
I always thought this story was fucked up, even when I heard it as a very young child. I even got put in the naughty corner, and a star next to my name crossed off for questioning it.
This story is so much better, and I like it’s message much more.
billie has said she wears baggy clothes to avoid comments on her body and this is why!! literally so gross she’s a minor and frankly i’ve been in that position too where i have had to hide my body to avoid being sexualized by adults
hmmmmmm bleh
