Palm Springs/ San Bernardino Mountains
I recently had the pleasure of spending three lovely days in the beautiful palm springs...
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Mike Driver
cherry valley forever

Love Begins
Sweet Seals For You, Always
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

blake kathryn
NASA
will byers stan first human second
occasionally subtle
taylor price
almost home
YOU ARE THE REASON

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Sade Olutola
ojovivo

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@brigittebell
Palm Springs/ San Bernardino Mountains
I recently had the pleasure of spending three lovely days in the beautiful palm springs...
By Jeffery Ignacio
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Clear Skin From Within: A 9 Step Guide to Eliminating Acne For Good
If you’ve ever had to struggle with acne like I have, you know very well how emotionally and physically painful dealing with skin issues (like cystic acne) can be.
Which is why I set out to learn everything I possibly could about what components constitute clear skin.
I read dozens of books, did hours upon hours of research, and used myself as a guinea pig to test everything I was learning about achieving and maintaining clear skin.
The result?
I was FINALLY able to heal my horrible acne which plagued my face for so many years.
I am SO excited to have finally compiled everything I’ve learned into a book so that I can share what I’ve learned with others.
Clear Skin From Within: A 9 Step Guide on Eliminating Acne for Good targets acne by addressing the internal environment of our bodies, rather than just treating the symptom of acne through creams and ointments.
If you’d like to say “bye-bye” to a blotchy, irritated complexion, and “hell-o-o-o-o!” to beautiful, glowing, and healthy skin, then pick up your copy of Clear Skin From Within Today!
Your skin will thank you for it! ;-)
Click here to gain access today.
The Goddess Guide Now AVAILABLE!
IT’S FINALLY HERE!
I’m so incredibly excited to announce the release of my 3rd book, The Goddess Guide: Unleash Your Inner Goddess to Get the Man You Want, Not the Men You Get.
If you’ve ever felt frustrated with repeatedly going on datings with poor-quality men,
If you’ve longed for and craved to be listened to, understood by, and cared for by that one special man,
If you’re tired of men not being able to see your value, and are ready to be treated like the goddess-queen that deep-down you know you are,
then look no further than The Goddess Guide.
Your fairy godmother in love (me!) is here to help!
Get the treatment in love you know you deserve and are worthy of having...
Click here to learn more about how you can gain access to The Goddess Guide.
The “D” You Really Need...
When it comes to having success in dating, every girl needs “the D,” it just might not be the one you’re thinking of...
When it comes to dating, sometimes our priorities can get a little out of balance. What we think we need often becomes the focal point of our attention, while what we really need tends to gets pushed to the back burner.
Why You Should Treat Every Man You Date like He's Applying for the Best Job He's Ever Had
I recently had a job interview for a prominent and high-end restaurant. The intensive interview process and lengths of effort this company went through to assure I was a good candidate made me think about how many of us approach our dating lives. So many times in the past my standard for a partner was, "Well, he's cute and he makes me laugh... So why not be in a relationship with him!" And while I do believe it's good to be able to be flexible in what we're willing to compromise on in a partner (after all, no one is perfect; not even ourselves), I also believe it's important to do the proper "screening" of any prospective partners to ensure the best possible decisions be made.
7 Key Ingredients to Living Your Best Life Ever
Over the course of this past month, my life has taken several "sudden" radical changes for the better. Things I struggled with and sought solutions to for YEARS seem to have magically resolved themselves within a matter of weeks. Painful circumstances revolving around finances, relationships, and health have all seemed to take an instant turn for the better. While I know these sudden changes seem to have occurred overnight, I know there are many steps that I took to get to the place where I am now. And in a desire to help you get to where you would like to go, I'd like to share with you a few of the "key ingredients" to achieving this sort of “miraculous” life transformation.
The Platinum Rule & The 5 Love Languages: Loving Others How THEY Want to be Loved
I'm sure we've all heard the Golden Rule: "Treat others how you would like to be treated." However, few of us have ever been introduced to its new and improved cousin: The Platinum Rule, which states to treat others how THEY would like to be treated. When it comes to how we approach love and romance, so often we treat others how WE would like to be treated, without realizing that our partner’s preferences may be different from our own. One of the secrets to maintaining a happy relationship is learning to treat our partners how they would like to be treated... And this happens when we learn to speak one another's love languages.
How to Be the Author of Your Love Story
What stories do your tell yourself?
Do you believe that due to past experiences, you are unlovable? Unwanted? Or not good enough? When you look back on how you perceive your love story, do you feel as if you’re writing a novel on tragedy? Or are you living out a romantic comedy (where the guy or girl gets the relationship they want)? How you perceive your past experiences alters the course of your future experiences. The stories you tell yourself are responsible for your perception of reality, and whether true or not, they play a major role in the kind of life you live and the experiences you attract.
The “KEY” to Maintaining a Healthy Relationship
Many people who strive to find and have a good relationship believe that once they've attained the relationship they desire, that all the work and effort they made in improving themselves is done. They've got what they've wanted therefore they no longer need to try. Nothing could be further from the truth...
How to Know if You've Made a Man (or Woman) Your God: The Difference Between Love and Idolatry
When you're in love, you feel as though you'd do anything just to make your partner happy. If you could buy them the world, you would. And in a healthy relationship, that feeling is reciprocated; it's mutual. So what's the difference between love and idolatry?
Love Versus Codependency: How to Have a Healthy Mentality Towards Romance
It has been said that “Love is the same neurochemistry as obsessive compulsive disorder,” with chemicals flooding our bodies during times of romance, causing us to feel slightly obsessive and even dependent upon our object of affection. What then, is the difference between healthy love and unhealthy co-dependency?
The Do’s and Don'ts of Online Dating
So if you’ve ever tried online dating, I’m sure that like me, you have your own share of horror stories/ disaster dates that could easily fit into a hysterical scene of a romantic comedy. Because I’ve spent a lot of time dating online, and learned what successfully attracts high-quality, highly-compatible matches; I’m here to help you make your online dating experience a little easier (and even, dare I say, enjoyable and successful as well!).
First off, I’d like you to get clear on what your intentions are when it comes to online dating. Are you looking for a fling? Or are you seeking a long-term serious relationship? Get clear on what it is that you want so that you can convey that to others. Also, if you’re looking for a long-term relationship and are spending all your time on Tinder, you’re in the wrong place. Typically sites like Match.com or Eharmony have people who are more serious about settling down. (The reason often being is because people who are more serious are typically willing to pay for sites like Eharmony and fill out long questionnaires, as opposed to those who join free websites or apps that are less time and money-consuming). In addition, there are a TON of niche sites for WHATEVER interest you may have. Do you like horses? There’s a site for that. Do you maintain a gluten free or vegan diet? There’s a place to meet others who share your passion. Are you a farmer or are you a sugar baby looking for a sugar daddy? Yes, there are sites for that too. Whatever your interests may be, try doing a google search and you’re likely to come across a community of singles who share your interest too.
Once you’ve chosen a site according to your romantic goals, it’s time to come up with a username. You want your name to be reflective of the kind of people you’re trying to attract. Obviously names like “Boyfriend_Material” and “ThunderCock” are going to come across very differently (and yes, those are actual usernames of actual men who messaged me by the way--lol). For the ladies, you want your username to be fun, playful, and representative of who you are. Remember that all of life is about effective marketing, and it is no different with your love life. If you want to attract the right partners for you, you have got to effectively market yourself.
Now that you’ve gotten an idea of how you want to pick your username, I’m going to share with you the biggest mistakes when it comes to online dating that people tend to make.
Since photos tend to make the biggest impression first, we’ll start with that.
Some of these should go without saying, but there are SO many who don’t follow these simple guidelines that would boost their online dating success exponentially! Your photos should be:
-Good quality and have good lighting.
-They should be clear and easy to see your face (your viewers should NOT have to search for you). And above all…
-Be sure to be smiling!
When someone views your profile, they’re getting their first impression of you. If you look angry, serious, or indifferent; you’re going to come across as an angry, serious, or indifferent person. I experienced the importance of smiling in all of my photos when a man once told me, “I’m confused, in some of your photos you look so happy, and in other ones you look angry or upset. Which one is it?” Of course I’m not angry or upset, but some of my more serious-faced “modeling” photos made me come across that way. In each picture you should be smiling, happy, and looking like you’re having a good time. It also helps if you have photos from traveling, doing fun activities, or showing something you like to do (i.e. snorkeling, playing an instrument, etc.) This gives you depth and dynamic as a person, and provides a good place to start conversation.
Now for the don’ts of photo-taking….
You’ll want to avoid:
1. Ab or body photos (Where's your face? I can’t see it)
2. Photos with other girls or friends (I don't want to wonder who she is, and I don't want to have guess which one you are!)
3. Party photos (Unless this is a huge part of your life, and you also wish to attract a party girl/guy, having too many party photos may give the wrong impression to someone who isn’t into that. Remember your photos should be tailored to attracting the kind of partner you’d like to have. Ask yourself: What kind of partner do I want? And choose your photos accordingly).
4. Sad looking (No one wants to date someone who's depressed).
Now when it comes to writing your “about me” section of your profile, make sure to avoid:
- Writing too much (Nobody wants to read entire essays, they’ve got hundreds of profiles to search through and are likely to say “Next!” if they come across one that is too long.)
- Writing too little (How are your matches supposed to decide if they like you?)
- Being too serious, or giving boring details (Nobody wants to know what year you graduated high school or what the name of your cat is. They’re meeting you, not your cat—at least for now.)
- Trying too hard (It’s cool to share things you’re passionate about, but try avoiding long lists of accomplishments and talking too much about yourself—this could potential come across as trying too hard to impress your matches. Your profile should be brief, to the point, and help others get an idea of who you are without giving too much away).
- Coming across as pretentious, snobby, or judgmental (The last thing you want to say is: "Don't even think about messaging me if _____. Or, "I only date girls who know five languages and have traveled to at least 4 countries." Having long laundry lists of what traits you desire in a partner could scare potentially wonderful matches away. Pick 3 traits that are most important to you, and then kindly give an invitation to message you if they match up. Use positive language rather than negative or belittling words. Saying you’re looking for someone who is “Health conscious” or “fit” is much, much better than saying “No fatties.” That kind of language is not cool, and certainly not attractive).
- Being negative (Avoid talking negatively about your life. Online dating is not a place to vent. Also keep your ex-girlfriend/ boyfriend drama to yourself. No one wants to hear how you think all men or women are dirty, lying cheaters.)
Your profile should be fun, positive, optimistic, and inviting. It should display the things you’re passionate about, and come across as welcoming and inviting. Being a happy, healthy person is what others find most attractive, and it should be conveyed in your profile.
Now let’s say you’ve come across a stellar profile you’re absolutely bananas about. What should you say? Creating the profile is one thing, writing the message is another! Here are a few Big NOs you want to keep in mind when it comes to writing your message:
-Starting off with dirty talk (Does that ever work in real life? If the answer is no, which I’m sure it is… What makes you think that would work for you online?)
-Writing a whole life story before they’ve even responded to your first message (Is that how your conversations work outside of online dating as well? Start by introducing yourself first).
-Just saying "hey" (Not very captivating. It’s a boring, general message that could easily be copied and pasted a hundred times. If you want to captivate someone’s attention, point out something they said in their profile, relate to any similar interests you may have, or ask them something personal and specific about themselves based on what they shared in their profile. This will show you actually read it, are interested, and took the time to say more than just “hey.”)
-Completely overlooking something they specifically said in their profile. (If I'm looking for a monogamous relationship, no flings, and make it clear I want something real and serious; the last message I want to get is "Hey, you wanna hook up tonight?" No! Didn’t you read my profile? Ladies and gents, don’t shoot yourself in the foot by overlooking details. Go for sending out quality messages, not just mass quantity messages.)
-Asking someone out on a date the first message (You’re likely to have better results if you exchange a few messages FIRST.)
-Making sexual remarks about my body rather than a romantic one. (Now I know what every woman is looking for is different, but I’d much rather hear how you like my smile or my eyes than how you like my ass. That can be said at a later time, but until I get to know you better, keep the compliments above the shoulders. Unless she makes it clear that sex is what she’s looking for.)
Your ideal message should include a greeting (say hello), a specific compliment, and/or a relation and question to something specific to your love interest’s profile. You want to be engaging. Give them something to answer to. Be specific and pay attention to detail.
Remember that what every woman or man likes will be different, and that’s why tailoring your messages and your profile to attract the kind of man or woman you’re looking for is so important. If you’re going to catch a fish, use fish bait. Use the right “bait” to lure in the type of man or woman of your choosing.
As always, I hope you found this article helpful, relatable, and enjoyable.
I wish you all the best in your online dating endeavors!
Love,
Brigitte xx
Be Value to Attract Value: How to “Score a 10″ in Dating
For this post, I’m going to give a little lesson on business and how it relates to the results you're getting in your love life. Studies support the idea that everything and everybody has a quantifiable value on the open market; and everybody’s out to get the best deal possible in love and in life. While a person’s perceived value can certainly be subjective (we all have unique preferences--hence the term, “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure”), typically the vast majority will agree upon what’s a “good catch” and what’s a not-so-good one.
So to help you get a better idea of what you have to offer, what kind of people you'll likely attract, and what you can do to increase your success in the dating game, I’m going to teach you about your VRIN Score. VRIN stands for traits concerning value, rarity, inimitability, and non-substitutability.
Let’s take a look at each factor:
Value - How much value do you provide? You must be able to out-perform competitors.
Rare- To be of value, you must be considered rare. The price of a resource is a reflection of it’s value. (Or in the case of dating, how selective you are with your time, energy, and emotions is a reflection of your value. Also, how you practice self-respect and maintain boundaries conveys your value).
Inimitable- How unique are you? How difficult would it be for someone else to do what you do? Are you unrivaled, unparalleled, or matchless with what you have to offer?
Non-Substitutable- Can you be replaced? How easy would it be for someone to substitute you?
Now I know this might seem like a kind of morbid approach to take when it comes to dating, but it shouldn't be seen that way. It’s really just about striving to be the best version of yourself for your own sake, and for the sake of your partner.
When you dedicate yourself to self-improvement, and work on improving your “VRIN score,” you'll make yourself an indispensable, unmatched asset that any man or woman would feel like an absolute idiot to let go of.
What it really all comes down to is self-improvement. Studies show that the more positive qualities and traits you bring to the table, the better you will do in love. In other words:
Dedication to Self-Improvement = Better Dating Results
Now let’s take a look at what assets people search for when “shopping” for potential partners. As superficial as some of these may seem, the research shows this is what people look for when seeking out a partner:
1. Physical Appearance
2. Possessions or money
3. Status or prestige
4. Information or Knowledge
5. Social Graces or Personality
6. Inner Nature
Research shows that the happiest couples are the ones who are more or less balanced in each of these areas, or at least balanced out by being complimentary of one another (i.e. beautiful women who date less attractive, yet prestigious men. Or handsome men who date less attractive women with great personalities).
The good news is that while there are certain things about ourselves we may not be able to change, there are many things within our power to improve. To help give you an idea here are a few action steps you can take:
Physical- You can work out, eat healthy, get enough sleep, get gussied up and well-groomed, and give your wardrobe a little boost.
Emotional- Take note of areas in need of improvement (do you ever get too angry, jump to conclusions, or let assumptions and emotions get the best of you?) Try to start practicing emotional maturity. This means being patient, kind, and loving, and maintaining a positive attitude even when things don’t go your way. It means being communicative of your emotions in a rational way, and being respectful of your partner’s.
Intellectual- Read Books, take classes, learn a new language, travel, study popular topics of interest, dig deep and research subjects that you’re passionate about. (To me) there’s nothing quite as sexy as someone who is a wealth of information and passionately shares their knowledge with others (and I know there are many others who agree).
Financial- Pay off debt, save money, invest your money, start a business, hire a financial consultant.
Personality - Exude confidence, meet new people, be engaging, be kind, sociable, outgoing, charismatic, and empathetic. Be positive and fun to be around.
Spiritual- You can take up a spiritual practice, be kind, practice philanthropy, take time to meditate, and get in touch and in tune with yourself/the Universe.
Time and time again, studies have shown that the more equitable the partner’s assets, the happier the couples will be. If you wish to date a person of value, the most powerful thing you can do is become a person of value yourself. Be value, and you'll attract value. Make self-improvement and the desire to be the best version of yourself a consistent part of your life, and you'll be well on your way to attracting the man or woman of your dreams.
I hope you enjoyed this article, and I wish you all the best in life and love!
All my love,
Brigitte xx
7 Mentalities That Are Keeping You Single
Ever had someone ask you the question, “Why are you still single?” and this was your answer? If you’re wondering why you’re still single, the answer may lie within what mentalities you hold towards dating... Read this article to see if you’ve ever fallen victim to any of these mentalities!
1. You're Ambiguous. You're mentality is that of "I don't know if I want a relationship, but then again, I do. I don't know if I like him... No wait, I do like him!" You're wishy-washy, indecisive, and always changing your mind. The first step in getting rid of ambiguity is to first recognize it. Everyone is ambiguous at times. We don't know what we want 100% of the time. Sometimes it takes us a while to weigh out our options by examining the pros and cons. But being too ambiguous about your life, especially your love life, can be damaging. Once you've recognized where or what you might be ambiguous to, the next step is to make a decision, and stick to it. If you're genuinely having trouble making a decision, try writing out a pros and cons list. How would being in a relationship enhance your life? How would it not? Seeing your thoughts out on paper adds a measurable amount of clarity.
2. You're Malcontent. Your mentality is that of: "The grass is always greener on the other side." In your mind, there's always something better than what you have, because you're not appreciative and aren't grateful. This is a human nature thing. As humans, we're always trying to get the best deal possible; and it's no different with our relationships (sorry, but it’s true). The thing is, if you're always trying to get the best deal possible and are never satisfied with what you have, you may end up alone. Keep in mind that there's always going to be someone who may seem better on the outward surface, but deep down may not be the most compatible for you. Learn to appreciate the relationships and people in your life that you have by counting your blessings and being grateful for them.
3. You're Passive. Your mentality is that of "when the time is right, a relationship will just happen." Let me ask you something: When was the last time in your life when something you wanted just WALTZED into your life with ZERO effort on your part? If you're answering completely honestly, the answer should be "never," because acquiring anything we see of value requires SOME amount of effort. Think about it in terms like this: Say you want to bake a cake. What's the first thing you need to do? Go to the store and buy the ingredients. Then you would follow a recipe, execute its instructions, and voilà, you'd have yourself a cake. It's the same principle that applies to our love lives as well. If you want it, you gotta go get it. You must put forth the amount of effort required to see your dreams become a reality.
4. You're Resigned. You've given up. You've come to the conclusion that maybe you're just "meant to be alone." You've experienced failed relationships before, or haven't yet found the right one for you, and as a result have resorted to resignation. You figure since it hasn't happened so far, it’s likely not going to happen ever. Maybe you're just one of those people who are “meant to stay single.” Have you ever had this thought? I’m going to help you get rid of it by telling you this: If you have the desire to be in a relationship, it’s because you're meant to be in one. All of nature goes along with this truth. Eagles fly because they are meant to fly, fish swim because they are meant to swim. If you desire a relationship, don't succumb to the cynicism of resignation. If the desire for you to be in a relationship is there, it’s because you're meant to have it.
5. You're Cynical. Your mentality is that of "There are just no good men/ women out there." Similar to the mentality of resignation, you've had your fair share of dating disasters and have drawn the conclusion that there are just no more good “fish in the sea,” to you, they all seem rotten or taken. Here’s a fun psychology fact for you: Your brain looks for what it believes to be true. In other words, having this kind of cynical mentality towards dating actually gives you a sort of “goggle vision” in which you can only see people and possibilities that match up with your expectations. Therefore, if you want love, it would be wise to raise your expectations towards dating. It’s time to lose that cynicism and replace it with the optimistic mindset of: “There are plenty of fish in the sea. There are tons of good, single men/ women out there who would like to date me and whom I would like to date!” Even if you may not feel it, keep saying it. Soon enough it will open your eyes to all the possibilities of potential partners there truly are out there.
6. You're Cold. Your disposition is so strong you give off a palpable "Don't come near me" vibe. You've been hurt before, so your defenses have been built up, and it shows. You cross your arms to physically show you're closed off to the idea of being with anyone. You're cold, distant, despondent, and removed. This kind of demeanor isn't attractive or welcoming to anyone. Granted, you're likely doing it on purpose to make sure no one does actually come near you. But if you desire love, you've got to change. Focus your efforts on becoming more warm, welcoming, open--rather than how you've been hurt-- and you'll be sure to give off a much more alluring and magnetic energy.
7. You’re Judgemental and Unrealistic. You nitpick any of your potential partner’s perceived flaws. You are quick to judge, and nobody can meet your set of unrealistically set standards. I’m not telling you to throw all of your standards out the window, however, there is a difference between having goals and being completely idealistic/unrealistic. Do you have a long list of must-meet traits that you seek out in a partner? Your pickiness may be keeping love at bay. I love the way Tracy McMillan, author of Why You’re Not Married Yet, shares her two cents on shallowness and perfectionism:
“The problem with perfectionism is that it is so dehumanizing. It causes you to see people not as human beings but as things. Objects. Objectifying someone causes you to focus on the things about a person that aren’t important and overlook the things that are.”
Your main concerns when it comes to picking a partner should be about their character, how they treat you, and whether or not your core values match. Not whether or not their shoes clash with their outfit. It might be helpful for you to make a list of truly the non-negotiable traits you seek in a partner, versus the things you’re willing to be flexible with.
As always, I hope you enjoyed this post. Wishing you all the best in life and in love!
Brigitte xx