Books and Broadway

Hello, my name is Liv (20) and I love books and musicals. I am always looking for something new to read and I would love recommendations! Currently reading: HP and Chamber of Secrets.

[m4ge-deactivated20210331]

i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream

[90stvqueen]

you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said “i have 5 kids”

[antidarkmattermaker]

I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she shrugged and said “I just don’t care”. We still talk about that woman. We never saw her again.

[anais-ninja-bitch]

new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks

[katjohnadams]

Actual conversation I had at register: “Hi, welcome to [Starbucks]! What can I get you, today?”

“How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?”

“I- I’m sorry?”

“A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?”

“Oh. uh. Well, it’d be I suppose… I only have a button for a Quad. I don’t have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single… drink.”

“Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many ‘add shots’ is that?”

*deep breath of fear* “It’d be a quad with,” *clears throat* “uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso. But, ma’am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them-”

“Taste means nothing to me.”

At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being.

“Oh. Well, okay.” I put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. “We can certainly get that for you! The price will be _____.”

She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden coins. My life will end soon, I am sure of it.

“Do you still have the ‘Add Energy’ packets?”

My heart began to race at this request. “Yes ma’am.”

“How many can I add?”

Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. “For health reasons, we won’t add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets individually.”

“One then.”

I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and pass, but this was … not something to be spoken aloud.

My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol, until she sees the order. She stares at me. “No.”

The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her terrifying being is within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a commanding tone I expect of Admirals in bad movies, “Yes.”

My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutiful, we are true to our task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand new Matrena’s of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring. 

The barista was damn near shaking. This woman’s gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place.

Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn cup.

Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy. And horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that.

When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about “The Company” as if we’d never l, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this stroy, other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus, 

“Yeah, I had one like that.”

[friendlyfrankenstein]

Fuck, this was an absolute roller coaster of emotions. 

[warriormaggie-deactivated201810]

@onthenilerivah

[ohbellamy]

does this sum up your 2017 as well?

[unclefather]

[willcub-deactivated20180521]

This is it.  This meme has been perfected.  

[smol-link1-moved-blog-deactivat]

I DID IT OMG!!! happy new year!!

[doopboopdoopboop]

I CANT BREATHE

[justmysicklypride]

@2thingsfunny

[luna-mistrunner]

2018 is the year of the dog so I’m out here gently begging 2018 to please, please be a good dog

[lightningbuster]

[andistoodtherelovingyou]

[loversdearest]

SEND THIS TO SOMEONE WITH NO CONTEXT

[setheverman]

This is my favorite video of all time. I’ve had this post queued up since 2015.

[xtrippydragonx]

The battle of Yorktown: take the bullets out yo gun

stay alive reprise: TAKE THE BULLETS OUT MY SON

[brolokhov]

i feel like bo burnham did the exact opposite of sell out. like his early stuff is pretty tacky run-of-the-mill edgy™ comedy which was his way of breaking into the business but now he’s just like “hey do you guys want to hear about how celebrities are products manufactured by a capitalistic society preying on the marginalized also art is dead *funky synth noise*”

[bloggin-and-reblogin]

I relate.

[ariadnie]

Natasha, Pierre, & the Great Comet of 1812

[christinealtomare]

Anastasia (1997) vs. Broadway (2017) 

“Paris holds the key…”

( Please don’t message me about bootlegs. )

[blackismisunderstood]

If I had a dime for every time someone asked me if I’m going into teaching when I tell them I’m getting an English degree, I’d have enough money to pay for my English degree.

[selfgoals]

If you can’t reblog this, unfollow me now.

[rosezure]

Fight me assholes. Never reblogged so fast.

[celestialmomma-deactivated20230]

I posted something similar to my instagram, saw a “🙄” comment, and unfollowed them immediately.

Do not think for one second that I will hesitate to do the same to you on here if I catch you doing that.

[wingedcorgi]

he goes by dadfoot or dogfather. bonus based on this exchange:

“writers always know exactly where they are going with their work!”

r u sure

“no writer does anything by mistake, it’s all very strategic”

r u sure

“they use symbolism in everything. for example, a simple sentence symbolises directness and-”

R U SURE

[entropyalarm]

The best moments in writing is when you discover you did something absolutely genius by complete accident.

[queerrussetpotato]

A miscellaneous world-building detail from ten chapters earlier accidentally saved a character’s life once

[noahwyles]

“Omg this line is genius and the best reference!” “Thank you I did that entirely on purpose!!” *sweats*

[oldschoolvillageidiot]

READER: “(points out symbolism and foreshadowing and depth)”

AUTHOR:

[systlin]

So some dude got sent to the hospital with cyanide poisoning because he was eating cherries and decided, for some fucking reason, to crack the pits open and eat the meat inside.

“I didn’t think nothin’ of it. Thought it was just a seed.” 

“Deep breath”

I SWEAR TO THE FUCKIN GODS…..

(cue 25 minutes of unintelligible yelling)

….and that is why being separated from our food’s origins and not knowing anything about botany is what is wrong with the world today goddamnit. 

[systlin]

I bet some people would eat castor beans too. Or yew. Or just fuckin’ snack on some hemlock because it’s natural, man. 

Fucking incredible. 

[systlin]

LIKE IT TAKES SOME FUCKING EFFORT TO GET A CHERRY PIT OPEN FUCKING W H Y

[arandomblackbook]

Question: Is it the same with plums? I used to do that occasionally when I ate dried and seasoned Asian plums as a kid.

[systlin]

Yes. 

Plum pits do not contain as much as cherry, but they do. 

Do not eat stone fruit pits, people. Or bitter almonds. 

They all have cyanide in them. 

[chesand]

Oh boy, apricot kernels. The amount of people I see lauding those as a “cure for cancer” is… demoralizing. I can’t find it right now but I believe there was a mother in the past few years who was taken to court for child endangerment/neglect for feeding those to her very young child as a cancer treatment.

[systlin]

I saw this horror last year, and yelled for an entire hour. 

To be fair, I bet if you die of cyanide poisoning the cancer won’t kill you. 

[dracota]

I have been wanting to use these photos for months.

The recommendation is to only eat 3 in one hour. because that is just the most filling snack and of course they will stop at three.

But then they say DON’T EAT MORE THEN 10 A DAY.

It’s not even FDA approved. “may be toxic”.

[systlin]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[beka-tiddalik]

Just because it’s natural doesn’t mean it’s good for you.

Just because it’s food for another creature doesn’t mean it’s fine for you.

Best case scenario it’s like grass which is basically neutral- it’s generally not going to kill you but there’s no nutrition for humans in it, and enough will probably make you sick.

Worst case scenario it’s something like belladonna berries which taste sweet but will kill you stone cold dead.

Same for the wrong kind of mushrooms, other berries, leaves and barks. Before consuming, CHECK. If you can’t check, don’t put it in your mouth.

[eeveedream]

Just because it’s natural doesn’t mean it’s good for you.

Just because it’s natural doesn’t mean it’s good for you.

Just because it’s natural doesn’t mean it’s good for you.

I’ve been saying this for so long, oh my gosh.

[ewaneneollav]

somebody once trolled me, successfully rickroll’d me

[inc4rn4t]

im not the sharpest n00b in the thread…

[petitescarlette]

I was typing kind of dumb WITH THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON ON.

[crearuru]

i bet u thought this post was finally dead

[adrithegreat]

well the memes start coming, and they dont stop coming

[ginandmisadventures]

grabbing all the breadsticks, I’ll leave the shop running

[skeletonwheel-deactivated201910]

didn’t make sense not to live for

gun

[phoenixflorid]

your left side’s beef but your pizza none

[lordsherlokimort]

So much to post so much to see so much John Cena on my live feed

[odditycollector]

very meme, such impress. how u learn these knows. so amaze. wow.

[autisticvimes-deactivated201612]

HEY NOW

[nickyofthestars]

YOU’RE A MEME STAR

Get the rarest. PEPE!

[one-in-lemillion]

HEY NOW

HERE COME DAT BOI

O shit. Waddup.

[riddle-me-bitch]

And that dress was white and gooold

[ericvilas]

Everybody craves those mineralllllls.

[letteredlettered]

[bakabun-deactivated20230829]

this is it. this is the best post on this hell site.