Aight... Who Shit Myself

I'm Bry. My blog is mainly reblogs, sometimes personal. 22

[godspeedyoublackemperor]

fucking meow honestly

[bryums]

ill be logging out of this account so remember to follow me on @rogersmithstan to see me once again okay bye

[bryums]

Important

hey mutuals i havent posted here in a while bc i moved to a new account called @rogersmithstanstan so feel free to follow me there because I intend to post more personal posts there. thats why i restarted but i be rebloggin so much shit on there anyway lol so yeah follow me on @rogersmithstan thank you

[delmondo]

[grooveland]

[frood]

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[crimewave420]

[memewhore]

[plangentia]

[depsidase]

[3dcontrolpad]

im tryna watch the old puss in boots movie but for some reason i can only find it in vr mode. i guess im watching it like this

[3dcontrolpad]

what the hell is even the point of this

[coughloop]

[r0zeclawz]

[hotvampireadjacent]

[peanutpalace-deactivated2023011]

I was born with an insatiable appetite for prescription medications

[angel-derangement]

they put pussy in the water supply to keep the lesbians healthy

ⓘ Fact Check

There are currently no jurisdictions worldwide that mandate the addition of pussy to drinking water, nor have any clinical trials shown that the addition of pussy to drinking water has any significant effect on the heath of lesbians.

For more information on Tumblr Fact Check or to report inaccuracy, please see our reports page.

[angel-derangement]

idk why but they buried the option to turn this feature off - but you can find it if you go to the FAQ.

[arborealgargoyle]

[id: #wait ew why is tumblr doing a fact checking thing is anyone else seeing this #where’s the dismiss button there’s no dismiss button /end id]