um

Tash. 20. Australia. I see fire in the darkness rage against the void I see every time man cried out and raised his sword against god

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

quiz: why do lobsters have one claw bigger

[goth-princess-gwennie]

They evolved to handle different prey. the larger crusher claw cracks open ahrder prey like a molar tooth, whilst the smaller pincer claw rips apart soft prey similar to an incisor tooth.

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

theyre lobsided

[goth-princess-gwennie]

oh I see! yay!

[vincentpriceofficial]

Chris pine needs to get into some real pervert cinema. He has the screen energy of a guy who bleeds and sweats and drools and fucks but he’s always turning up in these plastic sexless normie movies that can’t make good use of him. What’s up with that

[peachfromcmbyn]

Yeah sorry I can't come into work today. I accidentally heard Primadonna by Marina formerly of and the Diamonds. So I need the day to be a primadonna girl. Yeah it's going to be the whole day.

[nixpunk]

[solvetcoagulate]

[parkchanwoohoo]

I loved this post just because all the comments flipped between sincere appreciation and mockery of the birds

[eelsabound]

got an ad on instagram for a group of beatles impersonators that hire out for events and all the comments were asking if they hired them would the paul and john kiss

[eelsabound]

[cannibalchicken]

[chatteringfox]

[Image description: Tweet by cory (@ coolmathgame_) reading:

friend before a party: please don't lie about something weird to seem interesting

me: why would i do that

[later at the party my friend walks up to me talking to some ppl]

them: how have you never had dinner /.End ID]

[cannibalchicken]

Woah , my garage dog has arrived ,

[perfectday1972]

[fishandshesmygills]

laundry evolved to come out of the dryer warm the same way babies evolved to be cute so we wouldn't abandon them

[moldavite]

how it feels to say the weird thing

[beardedmrbean]

[appletunplushie-deactivated2025]

Never let them know your next move *basketball shoe court squeak* turns into the unfathomable centipede

[lakevida]

guy who doesnt realize hes commanding a small army and thinks a lot of people are just going along with his bit

[banchie]

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

[scratch-meowt]

my hottest take

[keeper-of-the-flames]

Counter point, those machines can make me a peach sprite.

[pusheenthenerdcat]

guys did you know the tech in that nefangled machine revolutionized preemie healthcare

[maimonideznuts]

[pusheenthenerdcat]

yeah the guy who invented them made incredibly precise infusion pumps (as opposed to gravity fed ivs) which not only meant they could give medications to teeny tiny babies safely, it's also used for insulin pumps and portable dialysis machines. the key element is that it's a peristaltic pump so the liquid stays in sterile tubing for safety

(unholy drink cloaca uses it to dispense precise amounts of flavored sugar syrup)

[hedgebotherer]

Then how the haters loved him,

As they shouted out with glee,

"Unholy Drink Cloaca

You'll go down in history!"

[naamahdarling]

You DON'T get this on any other site in quite this format.

[thevampirecrow]

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest