JVL
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
YOU ARE THE REASON
Discoholic 🪩
Stranger Things
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Product Placement
Cosimo Galluzzi
izzy's playlists!
sheepfilms
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
untitled
Sade Olutola
DEAR READER
Keni
Andulka
Origami Around
ellievsbear
Fai_Ryy
One Nice Bug Per Day
seen from India
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seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Australia
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seen from France
seen from United States
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@butterandscotch
dash is dead im teleporting to the past
https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard?max_post_id=606474489540042752
2016 dash here
2014 dash
2012 dash
2010 dash
Oh what the fuck
What the fuck
I'm scared
This is horrifying
This is a raw post. No reblog. On my dash. In 2014. We are messing with forces beyond our comprehension and it will get us all killed.
SEEMS LIKE A NORMAL POST, RIGHT.
NOPE. SENDS ME TO FUCKING VINE
asked one of my coworkers how she's doing today and she goes "could be better, could be worse," and another coworker nearby who was eavesdropping chimes in with "could be a lil bit o' alligator curse!" i have no idea what he meant by that but i do know that it has been immediately added to the lexicon.
Getting this shit on a flag to take to pride next year.
I asked one of my (male) friends to stop using the phrase “man up” and he has been using “fortify” for the past two weeks instead and it’s just a little thing but honestly it makes a difference
and tbh it’s also pretty funny when I start to deflate in the library and he leans over and goes “FORTIFY”
Dude, fortify is bangin’. That makes things like you’re some kind of RPG character. Fortify is way better than “man up.”
Happy 10th anniversary to Fortify
DONT ASK ME THIS, THIS IS HOW THE TROJAN WAR STARTED, I DONT WANT THIS MAN
Right away, Aphrodite popped into my head.
And then I’m just like, “DAMMIT, DID YOU LEARN NOTHING FROM PARIS? YOU ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT, AND NOW ALL THE TROJANS ARE DEAD. I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY.”
If you are ever actually in this situation, pro-tip: name Persephone. Half the goddesses will be too surprised to smite you immediately and while Hades won’t do you any favors he may at least high-five you while your on your way down.
Another tip: name Mesperyian. Not only will you shock everyone, including her (since Aphrodite was a jealous ho who burnt half her face off), but you’ll win Hades’ favour. As his most beloved daughter, anything that praises her will make you a kind human to her, an okay human to him, and a genuinely good person to anyone else.
I heartily endorse this alternative answer.
I love how all of this advice leads to “please Hades at all costs.”
#because Hades really wasn’t that bad
No shit. The only real villain that caused so many problems was Zeus’ Thunder Cock and that thing has been in Olympus-knows-what.
ZUES’S THUNDER COCK
To be fair, Poseidon was like the greek mythology personification of the phrase ‘BITCH, FIGHT ME’
reblogging for BROseidon and FIGHT ME
@mayhemdoll lol
Broseidon, King of the Brocean
This just keeps getting better.
I’m imagining all the Greek goddess asking me who I think is the most beautiful and I say the Norse goddess, Hel, is.
Aphrodite yells “She doesn’t even go here!”
This keeps getting better every time I find a different deviation
All battles shall be riff-offs!
@bluemosmurf-blog
TBH I am partial to Artemis, but Demeter is also up there. Appeasing Hades could either get you in good with him or cause him to focus on you and give you a 1000 piece puzzle that you have to complete everyday, and he would hold back a different piece each day.
@hellsite-hall-of-fame
this is the photo at the top that got deleted-
1001 Dalmations
Incredible faces OP, love how loose the lines are and the expressions/profiles are brilliant
Still wrapping my head around the fact the phrase "Hold Your Horses" is a play on the word Stable...
To be stable.
obsessed w how none of these are the real origin of the phrase
secretary birds look pretty normal but for some reason people have collectively decided to photograph them like they're [takes a moment to find an acceptable way to say this] women
<-normal bird photography | typically reserved for pin-up posters ->
I love a lesbian built like an instrument of war who loves with the exact same intensity they’ve been hurt.
batman voice THENYOU'REGONNALOVEME
"X did nothing wrong" actually no, X did a lot of things wrong. X fucked up. But I also know that people like X live their lives under a microscope, and that accusations against them tend to get magnified by bias both conscious and unconscious alike, and frankly it scares the crap out of me that you have not only chosen not to question what you've heard, but that you are seeking such drastically disproportionate vengeance on a total stranger. that's not normal.
this post has generated a staggering number of comments/replies/asks all saying some version of "Nice try laundering your argument, but we all know you're talking about [specific person], and i hate you for defending them." and literally none of them have correctly identified who i was thinking about when I wrote this, but all of them have named a trans woman as said specific person.
Oh man I love this artist! Here's what that sculpture looked like before the feathers were added:
If you've seen any pictures of "real living dinosaurs" online in the last 5 years, there's like a 90% chance it was actually one of Archesuchus's works:
Would kiss their hand whilst kneeling, I LOVE their work!
I literally just woke up with this image in my mind.
in other developments re german/anglo cultural exchange on breadstuffs, this image was posted to a facebook group yesterday
the following events ensued:
1. predictable lively discussion on the preparation of Wienerschnitzel, in which natives and wurstaboos are pro-puff and everybody else is like *confused dog head tilt* why wouldn’t you want the crust to stay ~attached to the thing you put it on? as with other fried foods?
2. thirty “Bad Schnitzel is my band name” jokes
3. thirty “Bad Schnitzel is my stripper name” jokes
4. one “ah yes, Bad Schnitzel! a lovely spa town” joke
5. this absolute masterpiece:
SERVICE DOG PSA
So today I tripped. Fell flat on my face, it was awful but ultimately harmless. My service dog, however, is trained to go get an adult if I have a seizure, and he assumed this was a seizure (were training him to do more to care for me, but we didn’t learn I had epilepsy until a year after we got him)
I went after him after I had dusten off my jeans and my ego, and I found him trying to get the attention of a very annoyed woman. She was swatting him away and telling him to go away. So I feel like I need to make this heads up
If a service dog without a person approaches you, it means the person is down and in need of help
Don’t get scared, don’t get annoyed, follow the dog! If it had been an emergency situation, I could have vomited and choked, I could have hit my head, I could have had so many things happen to me. We’re going to update his training so if the first person doesn’t cooperate, he moves on, but seriously guys. If what’s-his-face could understand that lassie wanted him to go to the well, you can figure out that a dog in a vest proclaiming it a service dog wants you to follow him
