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[callmeexparagus]

Sillyhead: if nothings faster than light then how did the dark get there first?

Slightly different yet equally silly head

"It didnt it got there at the same time"

[queer-as-city-folk]

Someone let a Dracula onto the train, what should I do?

[callmeexparagus]

Is it a regular Dracula or an Amtrack Dracula?

[lanadelreyquasa]

WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT

[kaibas-paragraphical-mind]

YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT

[who-the-f-ck]

“I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.”

[shitsuren-chama]

I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid

taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere, 

every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again

and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will.

[elvenrainbow]

[bogleech]

I don’t see how this is much of a downside

When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve

[revereche-deactivated20140508]

Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know

[perpetualcombustioninstruct-blog]

That’s great but have you considered

~cosplay

~Halloween costumes

~acting

~cosplay

~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces

~cosplay

~cosplay

~COSPLAY

[solsolecito]

imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry”

[brightlotusmoon]

“BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.”

“Don’t antagonize the fae.”

“I AM the fae, Susan.”

[aqueerkettleofish]

Also, consider— people will know it’s you, but it doesn’t say they’ll know what you are. “So is Pete a 50 foot flamingo who changes into a man, or the other way around?” “We.. we don’t know. Barbara asked him once, but he just grinned. She said they weren’t the teeth of a human OR flamingo and she didn’t want to talk about it.”

[frolicking-cat]

Iconic post

[themoss-deactivated20210919]

LEMME BE A DRAGON I DONT CARE IF YOU KNOW ITS ME

I’ve seriously only seen screenshots of this post before though

[godspeedyoublackemperor]

This is legendary

[ghalind]

“I AM HERE FOR YOUR SOULS”

“George, did you forget your coffee?”

[this-account-is-a-mistake]

ok but like the only difference here is if you dont press it you cant shapeshift. theres no loss in pressing it

[soraitmnt]

Look I can’t shapeshift now, at least after I’ll be able to shapeshift

[letsstartafamilywellinvitewelove]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[chaotic-public-menace]

I would love to shapeshift. Gimme that shit. I want to turn into a Komodo dragon and sit in front of random people’s windows and doors and s t a r e

[cugzarui]

the reason they know it’s you is because you keep your signature hairstyle in all forms

[friendlylemonade]

Okay, but this would be so good for art- like, don’t know how to draw something in a specific pose/perspective? Turn into it and take a reference picture at the pose/perspective! This would be so useful!

[ash-the-tiefling]

@sonofshu

[callmeexparagus]

The downside is that it spawns a group of people who are stupid enough not to press the button

[elemental-drag0n]

Reality check

ARE YOU REAL ?

ARE YOU WEARING SKIN ?

CAN YOU SOLVE A RE-CAPTIA ?

ARE YOU READING THIS ?

If the awnser to any of these questions os no then:

YOU DONT EXIST

[pyrobchilling]

Oh shit I just realized I can post the "Gaussian Blur Wizard That Gaussian Blurs You" here

[transgendercyborg-deactivated20]

[zzoupz]

his friend "Motion Blur Mage That Motion Blurs You"

[blastovkatamarinecromancy]

Their long suffering associate, the "Sharpen Cleric that Sharpens you (badly)"

[artastic-foe]

Nooo!!! What have you all unleashed upon us!?!

[l4byr1nthz1]

dont forget the chromatic abberation warlock that chromatically abberates you

[vinnybox]

may I add Mystic Mosiac who turns your quality waaaaaaay down

[theo-window]

What did he do to deserve this

[callmeexparagus]

Crime

[jam2go]

My guilty pleasure right now is watching luxury hotel reviews and I found this british guy who keeps accidentally clipping into the backrooms.

He's unintentionally making the best liminal horror content on youtube

[syn4k]

burning text gif maker

heart locket gif maker

minecraft advancement maker

minecraft logo font text generator w/assorted textures and pride flags

windows error message maker (win1.0-win11)

FromSoftware image macro generator (elden ring Noun Verbed text)

image to 3d effect gif

vaporwave image generator

microsoft wordart maker (REALLY annoying to use on mobile)

you're welcome

[flightcub]

in the 1940s the word “boner” used to mean “huge mistake” and it still pretty much means that

[sadsummergirl]

how the fuck would you know that

[flightcub]

because i know things

[221cbakerstreet]

[rudeandgingersansa]

i read these to my dad and he literally fell off his chair laughing and is now purple in the face

[rivercass]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[butchlinkle]

really helpful technique ^ once you know how to divide by halves and thirds it makes drawing evenly spaced things in perspective waaay easier:

[blueboxbeagle]

By LabradoriteKing on Pinterest

[fuckyeahdwarffortress]

A handy guide for your Jewellers and Gem Cutters.

I accept payment in trillion-cut black diamonds.

Chop chop.

[writing-prompt-s]

Useful!

[callmeexparagus]

Funny rocks

[queer-as-city-folk]

Press T to drop a train out of the sky onto your exact location

[callmeexparagus]

(Furiously mashing the T key) Uhh hey amtrak it's not working

[fuckyeahgravityfalls]

[froggiethelesbian]

Btw this isn’t some fan animation, this was an actual story board for the show where Alex wanted to see Dipper kill Dippy Fresh

[callmeexparagus]

shame we didn't get this

[woman-becomer]

I have too many bones. 206?? calm the fuck down

[villainessbian]

Reblog if your blog is NOT a safe space

RADIATION POISONING

if terfs touch this post, one billion roentgen

[glitched-out-mess]

[woman-becomer]

THATS IT!!

NO MORE JOKES ON TUMBLR

I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

[callmeexparagus]

Why did the chicken?

[callmeexparagus]

So im in college for basically film major right, and for one class we're filming this week and one person had this scene where it's a business meeting and so we needed idle chatter to like make it seem real right, and so the person who was the meeting leader (also my professor) and he looked at me and asked if I had any ideas and I didn't so I had to make some shit up on the spot and I just said "Yeah how about; Crime" and I mean that sounds about right for a car insurance meeting to me so yeah.