i, a rock collector, had to go to the ER yesterday because of a gallstone attack, here is how my father messaged me
thanks dad
That was the correct thing to say.

Kiana Khansmith
𓃗
Noah Kahan

#extradirty
No title available
hello vonnie
taylor price
No title available
The Bowery Presents
ojovivo
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

titsay
untitled
Keni

gracie abrams
🪼

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Sade Olutola

@theartofmadeline

★

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Ecuador

seen from Malaysia
seen from Germany

seen from Vietnam
seen from Benin
seen from Brazil
seen from Netherlands
seen from Bangladesh
seen from United States

seen from Italy
seen from United States
@capital-coconut
i, a rock collector, had to go to the ER yesterday because of a gallstone attack, here is how my father messaged me
thanks dad
That was the correct thing to say.
im fucking crying
that is the face of a man worried he will be next
Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.
Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.
crane husband.....
this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.
(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:
Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s. The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.
As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.
It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.
Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.
The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.
They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.
Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.
Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.
Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent. (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)
It worked!
Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.
However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them. (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)
Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird. White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he can’t retire while Walnut is alive. (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)
Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this
she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)
His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)
the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)
"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")
chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"
just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.
well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.
Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes
the “this content has been removed for violating Tumblr’s Community Guidelines” notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was
World Heritage Post
I regret being the bearer of bad news, but I thought it should be shared that Walnut passed away in January of this year (2024). There's a lot of mixed info about the lifespan of cranes (due to people misunderstanding what a median is...) but the average for most species I know of is 20-30 years (in the wild if nothing eats them/they don't die young), and 30-45 in captivity, with the oldest known white-naped crane having loved to be 46. Given that she was 42, this old gal did good, and I'm certain she will be missed by folks here.
Fly on forever Walnut Crane-Crowe
This was a deleted scene in the crossover episode (trust)
It took me forever to dig this out of my camera roll
305.235, 576.549, 355.548, 597.92, and 973.931
teenagers, mutants, ninjas, turtles, and 9/11
who’s gonna tell tumblr that executive dysfunction is more than Not Doing Things?
okay
these are the executive functions. impairment of these functions is executive dysfunction
Oh.
OH
Girl, help. None of my executives are functioning
Hey.
Go read The Creepy and The Freaky if you want a weird funny but also genuinely scary at times horror anthology manga where a rabbit in an Animal Crossing style village sells boxes containing "fears", each being its own horror story. it goes fun places and won't let go of my brain :3
This manga is a cognitohazard and I am its progenitor
[ID: Tags that read:
#you are right this kicks ass
#she was right. this shit is so damn good
#OHHHH THIS IS FUN i think will be reading the rest of them immediately
#do this #just read all of it
#it's so fucking good#so glad i read it
#yeah this might be the best manga i've read this whole year. like genuinely.
#i keep thinking about the entire plot #its genuinly awesome. End ID]
It's fine to disagree with the IAU about the definition of "planet"; however, if your definition includes Pluto but not Ceres, Orcus, Haumea, Quaoar, Makemake, Gonggong, Eris or Sedna, you don't actually care what a planet is – you just want the exact list of nine planets you learned in primary school back. Your cute little Pluto-including orbital distance mnemonic ought to be at least seventeen words long, and good fucking luck with the Q!
My Very Exciting Magic Carpet Just Sailed Under Nine Orphic Palaces, Slandering Hungry Quaker Matrons Going Erotically Southward.
I appreciate that you included Salacia but not Charon – really threading the needle pedantry-wise there.
I think a fun way to have he/she pronouns would be by helping other avoid the ambiguous antecedent problem and taking on the pronouns that are less represented in the current group.
Neopronouns? More like Nemopronouns am I right
official linguistics post
It's spring now which means the kids in my city have started drawing hopscotches on the sidewalk and as a rule I do every hopscotch I see because 1. Use it or lose it (ability to scotch) and 2. If a child got down on the hardscrabble streets of Boston Massachusetts to draw a scotch the least I can do is use it, but in doing the hopscotches, I've learned that about 50% of them are the typical 8-10 step scotch and the other 50% are. Somewhat avant-garde. And of course I'm not vetting the entire scotch before I start it so sometimes it's like haha 8 steps woo! Childlike whimsy! And sometimes they're 20 steps or 30 or they've got a section with three squares instead of two where you have to do a little Charleston to step on all three, or, memorably, FORTY one foot squares. A full BLOCK of jumping on one foot but I'm no quitter so once I've started Jigsaw Junior's fuckin hopscotch gauntlet I'm there til the end just a daily pot smoker in her thirties jumping kasa-obake style through an affluent suburb while some little proto-kennedy watches from his bedroom window rubbing his sadistic little third grade hands together and cackling. It's amazing. I love spring.
concept
a beaded curtain, but instead of beads they’re worms on strings
you know… these guys
Hi op I hope this satisfies your needs.
Needs more worms
I wanna make one of these that is like a literal curtain of worms
No clear strings available to get caught and tangle, I want them nose to ass like some kind of horrible human centipede of worms, covering my doorway
@fanotastic more worms
Aw fuck. Nothing makes you assholes happy.
Fuck you guys.
My fellow fuckers, I present you-
384
Happy Pride Month
The worm curtain is GAY
im gonna cry this person is so sweet to their fish
A doll youtuber I watch has made a video about the history of Polly Pocket, and she's describing the plots of the dvd specials, one of which features an elderly woman named Ms. Throckmorton, and my reaction was
A perfect duet.
You will never escape this video as long as I am alive.
Happy 10 years of never letting you escape this video!
I FOUND THE SONG!!
Only took me 10 years!
Musician: Martin Chiang
Instrument: Dulcian
Song: Giovanni Antonio Bertoli - Sonata Prima
quit your job
join my band of mercenaries
How's the dental?
you can have all the teeth you can carry
#google translate does not capture the tone switch so i have to say. first two sentences are like. normal maybe kind of feminine posting tone #& the last is like. shounen manga protagonist. action movie hero. jojo's bizarre adventure character. #the tone you would use if you were holding a gun with the safety off (– @chadlesbianjasontodd)
Basically, a translation could be:
I just think it's so interesting that people end up falling in love with their friends' boyfriends! I absolutely despise every single one of them. give me my fucking homie back you goddamn bastard
translation tags by @minothtime because they are so so good
please do not look up to me. I am 1 inch tall. I'm down here. if you look up you won't see me
but what if i.....
I REALLY LIKE THIS ART THIS IS SO CUTE I'M BEING HELD UP