Captain Redbeard's Plunders

I blog about whatever I want. Occasionally saucy, posts tagged. I play games on WiiU/3DS, Xbox One, Xbox 360, and Steam. I drive stickshift professionally. I'm a weapons enthusiast, pilot, and inventor. Studying to be aeronautical engineer. Anon disabled because...

[heidelbro]

Women be like "I can fix him" and then make him worse

[anarchocunt]

[ampervadasz]

[uncle-beanbag]

That jump is the funniest shit

[cutecutejames]

it took me a LONG time to work out that this is “life on a boat” and not like, “physics just said fuck you today”

[syanah]

So THAt’s what sailors mean by sea legs

[argumate]

something about reference frames

[sindri42]

there’s a reason traditional sailing vessels had hammocks instead of bunk beds.

[vann-haal]

@capt-coffeebitch

[captain-redbeard]

I've recently been getting serious about my weight. I was borderline obese and nearly 290 pounds due to stress and depression eating over the last 5 years or so. I decided in January to get my act together. Two pics are from two months ago and today. I've lost nearly 50 pounds since February by cutting carbs by 90% and taking @rcnnutrition #thermonuke daily. I'm going to continue this because it works very well. I'm also going to have to buy new clothes because nothing fits anymore hahaha! (at California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BwwDsT-lMB7/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=bkbty20s0wku

[kitty]

[princesstigerbelle]

HEHROW?

[thehumantrampoline]

A PSA about trucks from a truck driver

I and some colleagues were talking about how we wish everyone could see the safety videos that our company was showing us, because I don’t think most people understand how traffic works in a truck. So here’s some things we wish everyone on the road knew.

- we’re not kidding about tailgating. If you’re right behind us on a straight highway? Chances are we have NO IDEA you’re there, which means we can’t anticipate any of your movements. Plus slowing down takes multiple downshifts, so we might start decreasing speed way earlier than you expect.

- We’re not kidding about any of our blind spots. WE CAN’T SEE YOU, GUYS.

- That bit about slowing down taking a while? The same goes for when you’re in front of us. Don’t cut off a truck. Oh god, PLEASE don’t cut off a truck. If you cut me off, I’m not irritated, I’m terrified. For YOU. It can take 7 to 9 seconds for us to stop. DON’T CUT OFF TRUCKS.

- Before you get mad about how slow we’re going on the highway, keep in mind that many companies govern their vehicles so they literally CAN’T go over 60 or 65. This is a good thing, I promise. Because…

- Do you know what happens when a car meets a truck in an accident? The car gets totaled and the truck needs a new coat of paint. You will not win this fight. I know nobody likes getting stuck behind a big dumb truck, but it’s not worth your life.

We are trying our best to protect you from our 80,000 pound death machines. Please help us out.

[delightfullysuperbruins-deactiv]

This information is actually useful.  Thanks for posting.

[quousque]

If you’re passing a truck, wait to merge back in front of them until you can see both of their headlights in your rearview. If you merge too close they literally can’t see you

[gerundsandcoffee]

The one time I drove a huge truck (not even full 18-wheeler sized) to help a friend move across country it was TERRIFYING. Passenger vehicles cut you off not realizing you are literally trying to control a boulder in front of a pebble.

Even if I pass a big rig these days I make sure:

1) I have given them 100+ feet (30+ meters) before I move my car into their lane, and

2) speeeeed uuuuuup to give them even more room

[gif87a-com]

[gluten-free-pussy]

That’s her Uber

[elitefourkylewantstobattle]

Scuber

[dunkstein]

I will be 70 years old and I still will never have gotten over the time the Mythbusters used a rocket powered steel wall to - and I use this word as literally as possible - vaporize an entire car into red mist

[dunkstein]

https://youtu.be/Nl8xTqTUGCY

If you haven’t seen this episode of Mythbusters I feel so bad for you because “What car?” remains to this day as a defining moment of my adolescence and my entire life

[theotheristhedoctor]

That was a near-religious experience 

[outburstsoftheordinary]

I made a gif of it for those of you who cant watch the video in your country. Or if you know you just want to stare at it mesmerized like me

[ommanyte]

Hero name: Deku

Fighting style: the black knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

[ommanyte]

[wizardsexmachine]

[iscopeeee]

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

[uss-edsall]

You ever consider the possibility of a WWII pilot who painted his girlfriend’s name on his plane and then later got a Dear John letter just before having to climb into his aerocraft for an eleven hour mission

[maddog-maddi]

[pleatedjeans]

[hjartasalt]

Mods are asleep post forbidden tits

[hjartasalt]

Huh

[hjartasalt]

Huh

[hjartasalt]

Huh

[hjartasalt]

Hhhhhhh

[anothermarkiplierfan]

Perfectly balanced as all things should be…

[0v9]

[lexeirikrleif]

[fruitloopghosty]

[offbrandbeethoven-blog]

i

[a-guy-or-something]

N I C E

[a-guy-or-something]

Fuck somebody reblog this! People need to see the 69,420 likes and reblogs! THIS IS IMPORTANT TO THE MISSION!

[kibumkim]

DGRFEVFBVFVFBVGFB G

[manslaughter]

burger king is offering a 1 cent whopper through their mobile app if you unlock the coupon while at a mcdonald’s

[gayvian]

why does the burger king app have quests

[phantomrose96]

Well oneof you is lying

[swarnpert]

REBLOG IF YOU'RE ENDING 1856 SINGLE

[captain-redbeard]

Boi, why you gotta call out reenactors like that? and why you gotta be specific to the exact year I reenact?

[mapsontheweb]

The World with landlocked regions removed.

[nutsacktorturer]

good post

[pope-pius-xiii]

You can only reblog this blessed post if you have access to the sea.