wallacepolsom
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

#extradirty

shark vs the universe
d e v o n

Janaina Medeiros
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
taylor price
DEAR READER
almost home
Xuebing Du
cherry valley forever

★
Sade Olutola
Cosmic Funnies
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
AnasAbdin

⁂
YOU ARE THE REASON
Sweet Seals For You, Always

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@catwithouthat
hey gang im ordering 14 dollars worth of soda and nothing else from my local dominos
im thorsty
He better not fucking have
Oh you’re catholic? Name all the cats
have i got a musical for you
impossible to find a frankenstein recipe online that doesn't start with a freakin novel about the guy's early life in geneva... just gimme the ingredients and method
Do you think Jesus ever got many carpenter requests after he started preaching? Like did anyone ever go up to him and be like; "My Lord! My Lord!" And the disciples are all: "The Master won't do anymore miracles today." But obviously Jesus is like; "Yes, my child?" And they just ask what his basic rate is to fix their door.
No one talks enough about the fact that Jesus had a day job.
He repaired the relationship between humanity and god, he also repaired the table in his friend Mary's house cuz it wobbled too much.
“Jesus!”
“How can I help you my child?”
“So the Chair I got from you and your dad is great, but I tripped over it and it broke, I was hoping you could fix it?”
“Go home and be at peace, your chair is fixed.”
“Lord, did you really just use a miracle to fix his chair?”
“Luke my son, it was still under warranty.”
“honey that guy who made our table got crucified”
Victor Hugo: In order to understand what happens next—
Me: Oh no it’s really okay
Victor Hugo: It is absolutely c r u c i a l to know—
Me: oh my g o d
Me @ Vicky every single Goddamned time:
Man sees crab for the first time.
does he...
Live in the
Sea?!
Some fucking
mollusk
pulls up
how… how did I not know abt this
Completely unrelated to whether or not you like their music, you have to respect this energy.
daily reminder that there is absolutely nothing normal about being expected to waste a majority of your life at a corporation to survive instead of indulging in better life experiences ✨
In the 1960s it was a common speculation that by 1980 the typical work week would consist of 4 days. And by the year 2000 we’d be working no more than 3 days a week.
Because of computerization, automation, and better efficiencies in workflow.
Guess what happened instead?
king arthur was supposed to rise when the worlds need was greatest so. wakey wakey! someone knock on his tomb or something
i hate fae rules
How we greet friends now
2020 mood
uptown worm.... into the oval office she will squirm... all her policies are fair but firm... i'd elect her to a second term
uptown snail.... i support him on his campaign trail... he's reforming on a worldwide scale.. he'll put all the billionaires in jail