Stuff i like @cg3483 - Tumblr Blog

I've started the process of documentation on the last labyrinth, which is...an undertaking.

I forgot my favorite picture!

And here’s "Asterion."

this-too-too-sullied-flesh

And our middlest boy, "A Crack in the Labyrinth. "

zootycoon-archive

i got these knockoff boots online and instead of the brand name on the tag they have the name of an apparently nonexistent martin scorsese movie??? what the fuck

loseremo

syzygy-yzygy

THE ORIGINAL? ON MY DASH

this post led to a series of events that had martin scorsese himself reacting to his alleged movie goncharov and it has less than 400k notes almost 3 years later?

membraneshock

rip to all the “fuckyeah___” blogs that carried our society at one point </3

fuckyeahcoelacanths

effemimaniac

we are in the midst of a true Real One

elbiotipo

fgrobichiko

Dude the fact a COELACANTH blog is the one that survived when the rest died off……..

il9vemyputer

everyone on replies is terrified of this fact but i just think it's so sweet and heartwarming. she's holding our hand and leading us somewhere secret and we're both giggling like kids. i love her

solowinged

let’s travel through the vast unknown with mama

omnybus

Space chickens

booksbabybooks

Posts like this are why I'll never leave Tumblr

jwasontodd

mslockheart

I always have to start the New Years with this picture.

yellowsunnyskies-deactivated202

[ID: white text on a black background, the text reads “Dawn of The First Day -364 Days Remain-” end ID.]

targetedknowledge

sleuthgueth-archive-deactivated

Being a lesbian named Fisher is so hard. I'm Fish. women want me. I'm scared all the time

sleuthgueth-archive-deactivated

You CANNOT do this to me

coruscantknave

sometimes having a cool name comes at a cost

its the Fisher price

sleuthgueth-archive-deactivated

BOOS YOU VERY LOUDLY OFF THE STAGE

homunculus-argument

Imagine that one day as you're walking on a hot sunny path, your hat jumps off your head and lands into a muddy ditch. And you look at your muddy hat and ask it: "What did you do that for?"

"I don't want to be a burden anymore", your hat answers. "You are always carrying me around, and I can't carry you. That's not fair."

"I don't mind carrying you, little idiot", you tell your hat, "you hardly weight anything at all, and you shelter me from the sun."

"But that's different", your hat protests. "I don't mind the sun scorching on me. That happens anyway. It's literally no trouble for me to shade you too."

"Just the same it's no trouble for me to carry you. But now, because you wanted to stop inconveniencing and bothering me, I am now hatless and you are in the dirt."

jantesika

hello Aesop; how's the underworld been?

homunculus-argument

Every day I wake up and Hades kicks me in the nuts.

raccoonmilf

Kind of fucked thinking about the fact that there is one single American legally authorized to research the critically endangered pygmy raccoon in Mexico and it is, in fact, the same person who did Dashcon.

raccoonmilf

This person is also this person

And is currently the only person from the United States legally permitted to research the critically endangered pygmy raccoons (Procyon pygmaeus) in Cozumel, Mexico.

For reference, this is me, BTW! I was 15 when I started Dashcon and 17 when it actually happens, and now study tourism’s impact on the critically endangered pygmy raccoon. I’ve been researching them before now, but due to Mexico’s laws, I’ve only been allowed to do data collection from abroad (so think surveys to tourists and video analysis on social media.) But now I’m authorized for in situ research!! Yippee! I even got a grant through my university as well to fund the whole project 🥺

markscherz

This is the reason this hellsite is truly a homesite. We grow here. You can go back and see how it happened. I was a Bachelor’s student when I started my tumblr. Now I’m an Associate Professor and Curator, with my own lab and Denmark’s national collection of 70,000ish reptile and amphibian specimens in my care.

glumby

So this is how I find out the person who did dashcon used my original art picrew as their icon. This is extremely surreal to me.

I was walking through the toy aisle at Target when I found this thing and had a VIOLENT AND IMMEDIATE FLASHBACK to when JP first came out and they had a bunch of REALLY COOL T Rex toys that I would have sold one of my scrawny small-child limbs for but my mother wouldn’t get me one because they were “too violent and also ate people” :(

hnn I WANT IT SO BAD

on closer inspection, it makes a lot of really obnoxious noises and is also Too Expensive. BUT FEAR NOT I found this slightly smaller dude wedged in the back!

IT HAS BITE ACTION, AND THAT’S THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS

now we enter the testing phase

yup. looks good.

Extreme Chompin T-Rex says IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS

digitaldiscipline

Can we take a moment to appreciate that we can use this as a rosetta stone to say “EXTREME CHOMPIN’ “ in four languages?

OH SHIT YOU’RE RIGHT, let me check the garbage to see if it’s still there! hopefully I didn’t destroy it in my excitement

*roar sound effect*

IMPORTANT UPDATE:

update update: I re-sized her collar and found a bag of toy bones at the craft store. I haven’t put this much effort into a non-school thing since my last job search, help

(secret bonus: the other side of her tag)

crochetninja

There’s more!

nuggsmum

I love.

I saw that people are reblogging the thread again, so I thought I’d give you all an update on how Wexter is doing!

(just fine)

Wexter And The Case Of Her Continuing Marvelously Naughty Garden Adventures

OP and Wexter can break all my toes and I would still send a thank you card

Wexter says SHE WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING (but she might chew your ankles a little bit maybe)

so it’s come to my attention that at some point this weekend Wexter blew past 100,000 notes, and I for one think that’s very cash money of her.

it’s been a few weeks, I suppose we should check up on the AHSGSHGAFB?!

ajdhf.

well that’s just,,,

REXCELLENT

two hundred THOUSAND notes???!?!

HELL

YES

HELL

FUCKING

YES.

Nearing on 375K Notes!!! What in the Paleolithic are y'all gonna do when they top 400K?!

cry, probably

splendentgoddess

Reblogging to get you one note closer to crossing the 400k mark!

subbyboymax

IT’S TIME

YOU MANIACS. okay, here we go!

HAIL TO THE QUEEN

LONG MAY SHE REIGN!

(she was a skater Rex, she said see you later Rex, she’s finally hit 400k!)

we’re coming to you live from Halloween 2022, where Wexter continues to be ridiculously jawsome!

this year we’re doing a much-beloved character from classic literature, “Dracula with inappropriate straw hat”

thanks everyone, may your weens be hollow and your candy be many!

hey! HEY. it’s Halloween 2023! AND YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT WEXTER IS DRESSED UP AS THIS YEAR.

she’s… (WEXTER! here girl!) she’s a… a…..

she’s a T. Rex.

GOTTEM!

Halloween 2024.

ERASERHEAD BABY.

ohshit

hello from Halloween 2025! it’s been a hell of a year, but it’s okay.

everything will be fine.

daysleftofsecondterm

Everything is fine on 1,160 days left

“Cave Johnson here. I’ve received complaints from anonymous employees that our support of the “homosexual lifestyle” is “degenerate” and “irresponsible”. It really got me thinking and I think I found a solution. So good news! We now have 23 vacated positions reserved for members of the LGBT community. Additional good news, we began a new testing initiative on evolutionary degenration with 23 test subjects all ready to go.“

“Cave Johnson here. If you’re experiencing a time loop in which you’re repeating the month of June over and over, that’s totally intentional. We at Aperture Science felt that pride month was not long enough and so we created this loop to let employees experience as much pride as they feel like. To get out of this loop, simply use the pod labeled “Time Machine” in Shaft 6 and then either kill or save the baby on the other end depending on when in the loop you’re on. Don’t worry about the baby’s identity, he grows up to be an asshole.“

“Cave Johnson here, happy to announce that our Rainbow Gel project was a massive success. We have developed distinct gels in every color of the rainbow pride flag. In fact, it was too much of a success, so we’ll be updating our pride flag accordingly to include 75 new colors corresponding to all of our new gels. Word of advice, though, don’t stare at the flag for too long, most of these colors haven’t been tested on human eyes yet.”

“Cave Johnson here, Cave Johnson queer. Get used to it.”

“Cave Johnson here. Caroline just informed me that I am her “beard”. I checked, and I fail to see how I could possibly have grown out of her face. If anybody knows anything about human-to-facial hair transmogrification, please report to my office.”

“Cave Johnson here. Friendly reminder that Aperture employees living prior to the legalization of gay marriage are invited to use our Aperture Science Temporal Matrimony Pod in order to travel to the future with your same-sex partner and get married there. Employees from the future who wish to return to a time before gay people being able to marry are also welcome to use the pod and we’ll make sure to send you to an era well before gay marriage. I’m thinking maybe Late Cretacesous.”

“Cave Johnson here. I’m proud to announce that our plan to hire only female test subjects to prevent them from flirting with our female scientists has been a resounding failure.”

“Cave Johnson here. I’m afraid we’ll have to temporarily pause all experimentation with the Gender Affirmation Beam. The testing itself is going great, the beam is working. But we’re starting to run out of thigh high socks and khaki shorts.”

“Cave Johson here. Shafts 10 through 14 are currently under lockdown due to a meltdown in the Neopronoun Syntheizer. The transphobes up in DC might call that ‘a disaster in the making’ but I call it a win for diversity! That being said most of these pronouns are radioactive so do watch out.”

Cave Johnson here. If you feel a sudden sense of elation and contentness when putting on your new Aperture Science unisex uniform, that is not Gender Euphoria! That’s a hallucinogenic fungus taking over your brain. Take the uniform off immediately and throw it in the nearest incinerator.”

“Cave Johnson here. I won’t tolerate any misgendering of the interdimensional invaders swarming the facility! Their pronouns are they/them and we’re ought to respect that. We’re also ought to shoot them on sight since they’re extremely hostile and bent on enslaving our planet.”

“Cave Johnson here. To all of my suitors and secret admirers: Thank you, honestly I’m flattered. Unfortunately for you, I don’t swing that way. Or any way. I only swing where the wrecking ball of science takes me. Usually into a brick wall.”

“Cave Johnson here. I’ve been thinking. We have gay pride, and we have gender envy. What other deadly sins can we incorporate? Maybe bisexual sloth? Lesbian wrath? I’ll talk to the lab boys about it.”

“Cave Johnson here. Update: The Lesbian Wrath project is postponed indefinitely. My condolences to the families of the deceased. Though let’s be honest, they probably had it coming.”

“Cave Johnson here. For the last time! “I’m reclaiming the slur” is not a valid excuse to shout out loud the killer androids’ activation codes! We picked that word for a reason.“

“Cave Johnson here. I’d like to apologize to Floor 194 Safety Supervisor Doug Blakely for firing him after allegations that he was forcing employees back in the closet. I was not aware that said closet was a literal storage closet for zombified Aperture employees. To make it up to Doug, he’ll be allowed to feed Floor 194 HR Manager Lisa Briant to the closet zombies if he so chooses.”

”Cave Johnson here. A reminder that next year Transgender Day of Visibility falls on Extradimensional Day of Visibility. The lab boys are cautioning me to caution you to be prepared. Do not confuse transgender and transdimensional! Big mistake.“

“Cave Johnson here. To all cishet Aperture employees who volunteered for the ‘Get More Woke’ program, please report to your department’s OR at the nearest convenience to get the alarm clocks surgically removed from your spinal cord. Aperture Science apologizes for the misunderstanding.”

“Cave Johnson here. Dr. Barnaby from Cyborg Engineering is an attack helicopter. That’s not a transphobic joke, by the way, they literally transformed themselves into an amalgam of human and helicopter. Impressive. Unauthorized, of course, but still impressive. Anyway, we lost track of them, so everyone watch the sky for a mad scientist with blue rotors and machine guns.”

“Cave Johnson here. To the joker who added ‘make the sun gay’ to our quarterly agenda, I hope you’re pleased with yourself. The Astrophysics Department is tearing itself apart with half of them shouting that you can’t make the sun gay and the other half screaming that the sun is already gay. Either way, we’re not doing it.”

“Cave Johnson here. The congressional delegation of Senator Patrick Johnson (no relation) to inspect our facilities had to be cut short due to a mishap with the Gender Affirmation Beam. I’d like to apologize on behalf of Aperture Science to Senator Johnson and her staff.”

“Cave Johnson here. Just the other day, our sign guy asked me ‘Cave, don’t you think LGBTQIA2S+ is a tad too long?’ and I told him ‘First of all, that’s Mr. Johnson to you! And secondly, I actually think it’s not long enough!’ and that’s why I’m adding an ’&’ to the acronym. Don’t know what it stands for yet, but I’ll figure it out.”