i’m what they do in the shadows

Freddie | 24 | he/they | cover art by @roachcult

[sexy-necromancing-bird]

Is the guy in the cuck chair supposed to stay quiet or is he allowed to clap and cheer

[foxgirlmindcrank]

he's supposed to take notes and make an intrigued hum when an interesting plot point occurs

[conspiracydeerist]

[blu3str1k3]

[thisarenotarealblog]

one is getting cucked by the bottom and the other is getting cucjed by the top. Subject matter experts discussing the sex like a sports panel

[morganoperandi]

One cuck always lies, the other always tells the truth. You have one question to determine who’s a top and who’s a bottom.

[whumpster-fire]

[goblinparty]

Last night I was talking to my boyfriend, and I couldn’t think of the word ‘library’, so I said ‘book ranch’. He thought it was hilarious and started making up alternative names for ‘librarian’.

“Cowbook! Like cowboy! No…Readcher? Like Rancher? No, fuck this is hard…”

and just now I heard him yell “BOOKAROO” from the other end of the apartment in the most triumphant tone of voice i’ve ever heard

[sasquapossum]

“Howdy, pardner. Name’s Tex. Biblio Tex.”

[certifiedlibraryposts]

Certified Library Post

[venerable-thief]

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

In this economy you'll be lucky to retire to your nickels

[quinnception]

[maja-paja]

[jame7t]

there’s a war between Sucking and Fucking

[jame7t]

you people cannot be trusted in the war room

[artsywitchling]

My life has significantly increased in quality when I realized I can add a fried egg to almost every meal.

[churrotowns]

since it’s pride month, throwback to this beautiful cover and this wholesome interaction between two icons

[bumblebeebats]

so i hauve covid rn and i must say, American cold medicine is the absolute bees knees. You go to a UK pharmacy and they tenderly press like eight (8) paracetamol into the palm of your hand... God FORBID you're sick in France, i had to scour every pharmacy in Paris for something that wasn't HOMEOPATHIC PASTILLES. meanwhile last night i took the last of my stash of Nyquil that expired in 2019 and it was like getting hit by a fucking baseball bat (affectionate). press X to timeskip. LOVE me a cheeky little medically induced coma. you can really feel that it's a precursor to meth. i know that everything is fucking awful over there my friedns and my heart goes out to every one of you but if you need one small bright light of national pride in this time of strife please know that i envy you your cold medicine every day

[slowspinningredemption]

i once took an american antihistamine pill just a basic one for seasonal allergies and i had to immediately lay down and while doing so i vividly hallucinated that i was a steerage passenger on the titanic resigned to my death as my cabin filled up rapidly with water. then i blacked out and when i woke up again my allergies were gone for the entire season.

[acakewalkofcrocodiles]

The Hat Man is our greatest export

[kuttithevangu]

One of Anzu’s many qualities is he knows how to use a towel and! He refuses not to. If he is wet you MUST provide him with a towel

[madeofklay]

My personal brand of humor is "horrible, useless advice delivered in an authoritative way" and this is the result of it

[kosmogrl]

[lunarriviera]

[transfemmbeatrice]

thought of this immediately and was delighted to discover it’s the same op

[max-worm]

the foxes having a bonfire and neil diligently making smore after smore for andrew because he's never done it before and it's so fun trying to cook it to golden perfection and andrew's kisses taste like marshmallow after eating them

[vedurnan-archive]

[beetroot-merchant]

im not a girl Unless ☝️ im being told to go piss

[xx-k1tsun3-k1d-xx]

my fav pokemon fact is that 25% of marill are canonically trans masc

[xx-k1tsun3-k1d-xx]

the gender ratio for azurill is 75% female whilst for marill it’s only 50%.

also look how much happier he is post transition! go on king <3

[xx-k1tsun3-k1d-xx]

happy pride month to transgender marill pokemon <3

[notaplaceofhonour]

Ryan Gosling’s career has just been one long quest to climb the Warner Bros water tower

[notaplaceofhonour]

that man has been trying to climb this tower since he was 16. he has asked multiple times, and every time they said no, but now he’s famous enough & variety was able to convince them to do a shoot on the tower. it all led here. it was all for this.

[notaplaceofhonour]

I’m obsessed with the implication that this was a coming-of-age ritual where a boy becomes a man, like a bar mitzvah

[scoutology]

#crysobbing