honeythesiren

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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@cheese-respecter
honeythesiren
poundcake.princess
[starts snatching and eating innocent villagers]
moral of the story: all villagers are evil
i love this guy
I ever tell you guys about my ethically dubious radio show back in college? The Mad Dad Hour?
it was an entire radio show built around perpetuating a very simple joke, but it was uniquely powerful in its capacity to prompt the reaction I was looking for.
so my slot was at the tail end of rush hour, and i got a fair number of listeners/callers who were on the way home from the office. And like, I had a lot of callers, who almost all wanted to request songs that really didn’t fit with the aesthetic. I had pitched a power pop show when i got my slot, but the callers were not having it; they invariably wanted classic rock.
this made sense in a way. if you think about the demographics of the people who listened to the radio for music in 2010 instead of their ipods or cds or whatever, you’d expect them to skew older right? accordingly, i quickly realized that almost all of the people who called to request songs were Dads of a Certain Age. It was honestly annoying at first - I’m all for most classic rock, but that wasn’t what the show was supposed to be.
And so one day, when i was feeling particularly annoyed with requests that just didn’t fit thematically, i came up with the joke that rapidly became the only reason I kept the show going. Per station rules, I had to play a certain number of pre-recorded PSAs during my show, and before I cut to one I was supposed to read out the song titles and artists for all the music i had played before the break. So this one day when i had to inform the world before the break that the song they just heard was, per a listener’s request, Hey Jude by the Beatles, I decided to do a goof. I said:
“and finally, that last song you heard was Hey Jude, which was of course written and performed by the Rolling Stones.”
I barely had time to get the ads going before the phone started ringing. See, I had been assuming people would realize i was making an obvious joke by claiming one of the most well-known Beatles tracks was a Stones song, but i had failed to consider that my listeners were mostly 55-70 year old dads who were irritated from a long day in the office.
And when those dads heard me, a millennial woman, get the artist of an extremely well-known beatles song WRONG???!
they HAD to call in to correct my ignorance. never in a polite way either, it was condescending and annoyed or nothing. and like, they were just SO personally insulted by my inaccurate reporting that it took a massive amount of effort for me to avoid cracking up during the call. I had never understood why some people would enjoy trolling random strangers on the internet before, but in that moment, I understood the appeal entirely.
obviously i did it again right before the next commercial break, immediately after playing Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen David Bowie.
the phone immediately began to ring.
“ARE YOU AN IDIOT?” one of the callers began, “DAVID BOWIE???? THAT WAS QUEEN!”
“I thought David Bowie was the lead singer of Queen though?” I replied with as much innocent earnestness as i could conjure.
I could hear an intake of breath as the infuriated boomer on the other end of the line struggled to figure out where to even start.
And thus, the Mad Dad Hour was born.
@eduards-stuff I kept doing the same joke for an hour a week for an entire year, and the dads NEVER caught on. After episode 1 of the new format I started taking the angry dad calls on air, which added another layer of hilarity to the whole concept.
My friends on campus knew that hay I was doing and enjoyed tuning in, but only one actual listener ever figured out what I was doing, and he was literally a random 30 year old guy from the netherlands with access to an early internet connection radio service. He was possibly my only actual fan. I only know about him because he went to the effort of making a skype and paying for international service so he could call in, and while I got a few calls from him, the first remains my favorite:
me: hi there, you’ve got TST-
him: *strained, wheezing dutch laughter*
me: hey, is everything o-
him: pfffHAHAHAAH YOU MAKE THEM SO MAD. THEY THINK SO LITTLE OF YOUUUUUUUU BUT THE MEN ARE THE ONES WHO ARE FOOLISH! HA! HA! HA! YOU HAVE DUPED THEM!
me: sir i do not know you and i have never even seen you but i am in romantic love with you.
What’s the furthest distance you’ve driven in one day?
* less than 100 miles (<161 KM)
* 100- 200 miles (161-322 KM)
* 200-300 miles (322-483 KM)
* 300-400 miles (483-644 KM)
* 400-500 miles (644-805 KM)
* 500-600 miles (805-966 KM)
*600-700 miles (966-1127 KM)
* over 700 miles (>1127 KM)
* it’s complicated
* see results
What’s the furthest distance you’ve driven in one day?
less than 100 miles (<161 KM)
100- 200 miles (161-322 KM)
200-300 miles (322-483 KM)
300-400 miles (483-644 KM)
400-500 miles (644-805 KM)
500-600 miles (805-966 KM)
600-700 miles (966-1127 KM)
over 700 miles (>1127 KM)
it's complicated
see results
Flavours of unreliable narrator:
Lying to the reader
Lying to themselves
Simply misinformed
Not paying attention
Has weird priorities
Assumed you knew
Hates you personally
Bad at communicating
Easily sidetracked
Will believe anything
Has weird prejudices
Just kind of dumb
I am currently enjoying this image very much thank you
functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I
Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.
now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"
Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...
It's like talking to a 2010 Old Spice commercial with you people
Every protein bar is called something like "double chocolate indulgence caramel cookie dough delight crunch" and tastes like clay and sawdust
Angel by artist Maryam Fayaz-Torshizi
Am walking through Manhattan, there's a woman who can't be more than 25 in a big fur coat, walking with a cane, angrily saying into her headpiece "I want them them destroyed," I feel like an extra in a movie
Too many people still do not understand that power only obeys greater power. Reacting to the decision in Worcester v. Georgia, Andrew Jackson allegedly said, "John Marshall has made his decision; now let him enforce it!" Whether Jackson said it or not the point is clear. Laws and court decisions only matter if the people with the monopoly on force agree with them.
This administration's unspoken reply to any restraint is "Who's going to stop us?" If you don't recognize that you don't understand power.