Are you Extroverted or Introverted?
Reading my book on anxiety and one part of it is all about understanding who you are and knowing that you (as in personality) and your mental illness are not the same thing.
In particular, I has a subtopic titled "introverted, extroverted - or am I shy?"
This section actually taught me that introversion and extroversion isnt a popular with others and unpopular with others situation or "outgoing or shy". It taught me that introversion and extroversion are traits you are born with and that it has more to do with where you find energy. Extroverted people get energy from social situations because they need more dopamine and adrenaline to stay in high energy however introverted people need less dopamine and adrenaline to be in high energy and instead need more of a chemical called acetylcholine which makes us feel calm and aware and aids our ability to think deeply.
Because they need more of this chemical to maintain high energy, they often choose to spend more time alone to the exception of their inner social circle as the dopamine and adrenaline that they get from more social situations can actually overwhelm their brains, this leaving them feel 'drained' the same way an extrovert would feel drained if they didn't get enough dopamine/adrenaline.
Why I spend alot of time alone, I don't do so by choice. I suffer from severe social anxiety (fear of social situations due to the fear of social rejection) and simply cope with my fear via avoidance. However I spend most of my time alone daydreaming about spending time with other people.
So I was speaking to my mother about this, and remember how I said your introversion/extroversion was something you were born with? Well before I went through a certain trauma in my childhood, as a child I was actually very extroverted.
My parents worked in the pub trade and I absolutely loved to come down to the pub everyday and spend time with all of my parents customers. I would sing for them, dance with them, play with them, sit and talk with them. I did it so much that when I came down, whoever saw me first would shout "beep beep alert" to tell everyone to watch their language and conversation because I was present.
In my old primary school, I was friends with everyone. When I left I actually had two leaving parties, one in school and one at a play house and each one had about 30 kids attend. My teacher even told my mother that "I'm slightly worried, the class will be at a loss with out your daughter. She was very much their leader in a way. She did and the others just followed".
Unfortunately, after leaving I went through a traumatic time in my new town and I did a full 180. I was shy. But not shy because I liked to be alone, shy because I had found my self alienated by not only my new classmates but also their parents as well. I started thinking people just weren't going to like me around there and so I was too frightened to speak to anyone (no matter how much I wanted to) out of fear of being socially rejected once again.
I always identified myself as introverted. But now that I know more about introversion and extroversion and my mental illness, I think it is fair for me to say that I am not an introvert, but rather an extrovert who suffers from severe social anxiety.
Are you and extroverted or an introvert?
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