[propertyofjameswilson]

happy pride month everyone!!

[gobloggirl]

[garagepaperback]

fic: decadent stress chamber pairing: hollanov tags: frat au excerpt:

From the vantage of halfway up the stairs, the bodied sea almost makes sense, has a certain current to it. Parting and cresting, surging, slowing down. There’s a guy right in the middle defining the tide. He’s not huge huge—he’s like, Shane huge. Just noticeable. Anything so sturdy in the middle of the ocean would be. “Who’s that?” Shane asks, and regrets it.

[garagepaperback]

chapter 5

Shane sends: Nice job  Gets an immediate response: More specific with compliment, pls Stupid. He stretches his legs and smiles at the screen. Still a lot of room for improvement. His ass is numb against the bench by the time Rozanov calls. The speaker flattens his voice into a rocky hum. Perfect syrup to fill Shane’s ear, to warm a lot lower in him. “I want to improve, so bad,” Rozanov says. Half-laughing, fully serious. “Help me improve, please, Shane. Right now. Come here.”

[homunculus-argument]

The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.

And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and

[thekijs]

His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.

However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.

That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.

[weaselle]

yuh i was there, that's how it happened

[guzgecesi]

[pulpsandcomics2]

Sandworm by Ömer Tunç

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

crush totally wasn't impressed by my miraculous flying machine fml

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

oh my god i just saw her get onto an airship with a woman whose tophat has at least twice as many sprockets as mine. i will be killing myself with an elaborate pneumatic pistol tonight

[egirlbutternubs]

No i didn't "forget to pack a toothbrush and a phone charger" its called on site procurement. Solid snake does it too

[magical-girl-tetia]

Not sure what came over me to make this

[foone]

specifically:

The Death Generator

[switchnx]

Like so?

[foone]

👍

[countingstars-17]

he's so done

[classically-lit-memes4u]

“what are you thinking about?” swordfights, next question 

[mosslingg]

My liege im sorry to break it to you but your advisor that's actually evil and wants you dead turned out to be straight. I know you really wanted to have an enemies to lovers situation with him. Yeah I'm afraid the poisoning didn't hold any romantic intent behind it. The king of the enemy kingdom is bisexual though, I could send him a letter? Yes, I'll make sure to include multiple threats of homoerotic nature. You will have your toxic yaoi, my liege

[snoozu]

sometimes instead of “why can’t they just be friends” i think it should be “why can’t they also be friends” because sometimes shipping feels much too much like forcing two pretty characters to kiss and be intimate without actually being interested in the dynamic the two people have. what about hanging out together. what about why they like being in each others company. what do they argue about. how do they patch things up. what do they laugh about.

[snoozu]

best tag on this post

[sayahbayahboo]

One pool floatie to rule them all

[irondive]

[reefsharkivist]

victims of the chupacabra:

[darlingofdots]

okay but Shane takes a hit late in the game and doesn't return so in the post-game presser somebody (they're new, they don't know any better, they will never make this mistake again) asks Ilya "how's Hollander's head" and Ilya experiences every emotion at once as he wrestles with the lingering terror of seeing the love of his life take five seconds too long to get up (he's fine) and also the sheer delight at being offered this perfect, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity on a silver platter

[darlingofdots]

and with absolutely heroic effort, ilya says something entirely boring and appropriate about concussions, can't be too careful but thankfully nothing to worry about this time, Hollander will be back in time to crush the Pamphlets, yada yada, because he is a good husband and respects Shane's boundaries, and then they're walking to the car to finally go home and Shane is holding an icepack and there are still a couple reporters milling about and some asshole yells "hey Hollander, you sure your head's okay?"

and Shane looks directly into their phone camera and says, "I don’t know, you'll have to ask my husband"

[pangur-and-grim]

[loveridden1999]

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad