Is it better to speak or to die? — Yu Karina
Synopsis: when unrequited love clashes with the feeling of loneliness
Pairing: one sided love, reader x karina, aespa 5th member
Warnings: death mentioned, suicide, being left out
Author’s note: sorry this is kinda depressing, sigh i love unrequited love, dont read this if youre in a bad place mentally.
ever since you first saw her, you already knew you liked her. who wouldnt? shes everyone’s type
as you first debuted duos had already been set. winter and karina, giselle and ningning, what about the 5th member? y/n who always has the least lines, y/n who always has the least followers on instagram, y/n who most of the time is alone. everyone could see it, even your own fans.
“aespa are so good its just y/n thats the problem”
“y/n is irrelevant in the group seems like she had connections and debuted”
“why is y/n always zoning out by herself?”
In the most recent event, fans were filming winter and karina recreating a picture of sawako and ume as you were standing a little behind them staring at karina. fans then started the rumours.
“she must be jealous she doesnt really have anyone shes close with”
its not that you werent close with your members, you were close, but you didnt have a “best friend”, after all, you were added in the lineup last minute. you knew the girls had built resentment over you. when you joined the lineup the role of visual and lead dancer was removed from winter and given to you.
as you were training by yourself pre debut, karina had come up to you
“hi karina” you reply quietly
“i just wanted to say i dont want to pressure you but you should apologise to winter”
“oh yeah i was planning on it”
thinking about karina hurt. you already know she likes winter. you have walked in multiple times on them cuddling pretending you didnt see.
6 years had passed and you still havent moved on from her.
you were on instagram live interacting with fans
“can we be friends we are the same age”
“lets be friends, honestly i find it kind of hard to make friends, please be my friend guys”
“is it better to speak or to die”
“i have been wondering that too actually, what do you guys think?”
the next day you had been left all alone with karina in your dorm
“karina ive been wanting to tell you something”
“what is it?” she asks not even looking at you
“i have feelings for you, ive felt this way for a lot of years”
“im sorry y/n i dont see us being a couple” she replies coldly
“i understand, im sorry if i made things awkward”
she doesn’t even glance your way, you just leave the dorm and go to the rooftop of your building. as you were staring at the city it started raining, the day couldn’t get worse.
a few days had passed, you had gathered with your members for a meal. you look over at karina and winter holding hands under the table, karina speaks up.
“girls, me and winter have been meaning to tell you something” she says getting our attention.
“me and winter are actually dating” karina says as giselle and ningning start to congratulate them. you just smile and pretend to be happy for them.
maybe its better to die than to speak
NOTICE: aespa’s Y/N has been found dead due to suicide
taglist: @viviennes5ecret
