Three Goblin Art

Kiana Khansmith
Show & Tell
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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blake kathryn
noise dept.
KIROKAZE

No title available
Jules of Nature
d e v o n
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
wallacepolsom
Xuebing Du
Not today Justin
AnasAbdin
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

shark vs the universe
h
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@chibihaleytale
when this post came up on my dash my eyes skipped over the sound file and read the caption and thought “someone should make this sound* and then I looked up and felt like I had made a wish on a monkeys paw
sugar coated tears
Spacesuit
more hands / 2018
which one would you drink?
~ follow me on twitter and instagram✨
America, history has its eyes on you. The Midterm Elections will be held on November 6, meaning you must register to vote by the end of September. Some states are more lenient than others, but there is no reason to delay! If you think you’re already registered, check your registration here: https://www.vote.org/am-i-registered-to-vote/ If you need to register, register to vote here: https://www.vote.org/register-to-vote/ You have a little more than ten weeks left to register. Again, your state may be lenient but the history books will not, do not delay, do it now!
Outfit commission for birbycakes. .+:。(ノ・ω・)ノ゙
someone: coca cola can remove rust from metal imagine what its doing to your body
me: pff getting rid of the rust idiot
THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS
hmm… i’ve been drinking soda and my body’s rust free… not sure where youre getting your facts from…
tatemichi
So You Decided to Play D&D...
How you think it works:
How it actually does:
I hate hearing stories about how someone cheated but the other person forgave them and now they’re even more in love and lived happily ever after, it’s propaganda and I don’t care
This is the funniest thing I’ve seen in weeks. Literally, I’ve never been this funny in my entire goddamn life
i’m tired of male filmmakers who have a ‘realistic’ aka pessimistic outlook on life and who include a bunch of sex scenes in their films being called geniuses i’m bored of it
SOME GOOD TASTY TEA
how have i never heard of archive.org until today.. it’s an internet library that functions just like a real one, as in you borrow the books for 2 weeks and then they are returned to the archive. you can dl pdfs as well, but you’ll lose access after the 2 week period. it’s all free tho, literally just like a real library. i was searching for a cheap copy of this serial murder book from the 90s for my thesis and i found it for free on here. there’s like.. no gimmick at all? i’m so amazed. i literally just signed up and now i’m reading a super hq scan of this book for free. i love libraries.
No swearING ON MY, CHRISTIAN SERVER
wholesome
One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.
And after like three seconds, where we’re all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadn’t ended, and John Mulaney quietly says, “Has there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?”
He’d taken his suit to the drycleaner, and they’d wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didn’t notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didn’t notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.
during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she ‘is aware that she is physically here right now’ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is the “and I’m new in town” bit and that she’s seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldn’t get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things he’s said that she heard
When I saw him in Ft. Lauderdale, there was a bar in the lobby that people kept leaving to go to. At one point, a guy in the front row just got up and BOOKED IT to get drinks. John Mulaney looked over at a woman who was next to the empty seat and asked, “Are you with him? What’s his name?”
She was, in fact, with him, and she did tell him her date’s name. John Mulaney considered this, looked around, and unplugged his microphone. Leaning in to us, he told us that we were going to trick this guy so fuckin hard. He said, “At some point during the show, I am going to stop and say, ‘Well, you guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale,’ and then you guys are all going to scream back ‘WE LOVE MILKSHAKES!’ He’ll be so confused.”
He then continued on with the show as normal, the drinks guy returned to his seat, and that was that for quite a long time. We thought he had forgotten about it until, at some point during what I believe was his McDonald’s drive-thru bit, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “You guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale…”
Naturally, we erupted with “WE LOVE MILKSHAKES” and John Mulaney SWUNG around to face the drinks guy and said, “I bet you’re real confused now, huh, JASON?!”
ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid
i saw him last night and there was a good ten minute interlude where a woman told him everything she found wrong with his suit, including that his pants were too high waisted to which he replied “that’s where my hips are” and someone in the back shouted “look at that high waisted man he’s got feminine hips!” and he yelled back “that’s my joke! i’m offended!!”