so exhausted by how fundamentally anti-human the capitalist world has become. like ageing, getting fat, being slightly inefficient, and making mediocre art are all extremely normal and extremely human activities, why is every corporation trying to convince us to spend all our money fighting that
Here's some of the notes, starting with the things multiple people brought up:
SHRIMP COCKTAIL:
banahbanah: #flashback to that one fic where Peter Parker frets about drinking shrimp cocktail because of the alcohol
generaldeliciousness: adding: what a prawn/shrimp cocktail is
#why is your character turning it down because they're under 21 #do you think prawn cocktail is a cocktail #this lives in my brain rent-free constantly #the rest of the fic was so normal #and good enough that i'll still re-read it #but bro
And then many, MANY, people wondering if this was actually authour mistake, since Peter really would do this!
POMEGRANATES:
zhajhassa: #haha where's that post that was like someone describing someone eating a pomegranate but they ate it like an apple
thornhands: #once someone wrote persephone biting into a whole Pomegranate #had to stop and stare at a wall for a minute
sungsingsanguine: I once saw someone very confidently write about a character eating slices of pomegranate.
FRUIT TREES:
zagreuses-toast: #given a very endearing glimpse into a writers blindspots by seeing them describe someone sitting under a ''pineapple tree''
salatrash: I remember something about picking watermelons... OF A FUCKING TREE
baander: #cranberry trees
DOUGH/BATTER:
maycelium: #I'm a chef so I'm really used to people not accurately describing how to cook food #But I was surprisingly flabbergasted when someone was writing making a cake and was kneading it. Which uh #Not necessary for cake. It was interesting for sure but just bizarre
livebloggingmydescentintomadness: #the one that drove me nuts was when a character set aside a batch of PASTA DOUGH 'to rise' #pasta doesn't have yeast!! #it does need to REST but it will never RISE #you do not want an airy crumb on your noodles
lovesodeepandwideandwell: #THE ONE WHERE THEY MADE COOKIES BY LADLING BATTER INTO A TRAY
Some other topics:
ANIMALS:
catenarwhal: #mandatory 'how cows produce milk' mention#i'll never recover from that one I fear
piromantic: #one time i saw someone fake their way through describing how spiders behave
pluto-lichen: horses
misskittypotter: #stardew valley faking its way through what fresh fish smell like
pa-pa-plasma: #saw someone faking their way through knowing what a seal is once #i still am fucked up over that one to this day. they just straight up did not know #& they were NOT good at guessing it either like it was clear they had never googled that animal ever #& was only just now realizing via answering questions from anons that seals are not!! what they assumed. initially
SEX:
dykevandyke: #what a prostate is #and where it is located #as in. external.
dreamyeyedrose: #I remember back in the ff.net days reading an Ichigo/Renji fic where the writer assumed the penises go inside each other #and I was like âI mean I don't know how it works for sure I don't have one but idk if that's how it worksâ
SOME OTHER FOOD STUFF:
thetrekkiehasthephonebox: #add another one to the list bloggers#this character is cooking a salad
shosta: #still baffled about the published work that didn't know food could freeze
sun-dari: #once i read a fic where the author didn't understand cinnamon
alto-tenure: #read something recently where the author was just. blatantly wrong about spices
dramatic-dolphin: #i saw someone try to fake their way through what ramen is once. like 14 years ago.#but i remember.#i was very confused about ramen for a few months. they were writing it so authoritatively.
the-celery-stalks-at-midnight: #i will never ever forget someone putting leftover fries in the microwave to reheat them and setting the timer for five minutes
typeghost: #this sparked a memory of a hannibal fic where the author had to fake their way through writing about gravy
draculin: #the one fanfic where the author knows about coffee only as a concept wrote a character as a coffee drinker#was very interesting#I don't remember the fandom or the plot but I was mesmerized by the coffee actions and choices
11235811235811: #there's a lot of faking their way thru congee in the svsss fandom i'll also note
fishali3n: #read one where the person clearly didnt know what tofu is
emmy-everafter: #in the aftermath of shadow and bone s2 i saw a lot of people pretending to know what stroopwafels are #babes they are more like cookies than breakfast waffles #like yes there is a waffle pattern but you're not gonna cut into a stack of them with syrup and sugar#đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
NON-FOOD STUFF:
red-umbrella-811: Shoutout to Dame Agatha Christie for faking her way through what a wrench is in a very popular published work.
bluebeetle: #once saw someone have a character put an entire phone book in their pocket
nonametis: #- sex talk in languages other than english #<- or just the petnames in a different language other than English
sadisticpony: #the fanfiction i saw this week where op DIDNT KNOW HOW AUTOMATIC DOORS WORKED #and that they arent in peoples homes!!! of course. also opening the automatic door for someone is unironically very funny but its not #its not like. grabbing the door handle to let someone in. helpppp
danmeichael: #reminds me of the fic with the figure drawing class where the character started with the feet. #i love you feet first figure drawing author
meowmix1100blr: #me watching this one fic absolutely obliterate what the board of directors does
vexedhexes: #one time i read an architect character making a doorway bigger by building a bigger door #what a beautiful world. #OH. also gravity falls fic where they go 'oh piedmont is in california so its warm all year round'
leveragehunters: #characters going to a beer garden #And it's literally a garden outside the pub#It was a very cute mistake
fitofpique: #yes! #grown men do not get blind drunk off two beers #but i am possibly guilty of the hypothermia one #assuming it does not make you very horny?
dadvans-likes: #always thinking abt the soup kitchen fic #the entire setting of the fic was 'soup kitchen' #and i very quickly realized #the author did not know what a soup kitchen was #and they thought that soup kitchens only served soup #fic
msmargaretmurry: #i love fanfiction #once read a fic where the characters played 20 questions #but the author seemed to not know how to play 20 questions and was just kind of winging it........ #immaculate
shakespeareaddict: #Look I know not all of us are hockey experts #But it takes about ten seconds of research or any attention paid to the show to realize #That the Stanley cup playoffs are not in fucking September
baejax-the-great: #the funniest one i saw #was someone faking what church is like #like 1. they really didn't have to write an entire church experience for their fic #and 2. they had clearly never even watched a show where people went to church #it was bonkers weird
twosunson: #things ive seen authors faking #knowing how to unclog a drain #knowing. literally any history #knowing what ketamine looks like (apparently- oregano) #(you know who you are)
waterhorseyblues-ao3: #beltane being celebrated in winter #wales being portrayed as a completely separated land from england (i wish) #characters getting up after weeks of bedrest like that dosnt completely fuck you up
violetfairydust: #i once read a fic where the flight time from london to seattle was 3 hours
purekesseltrash: One time, in a fic set specifically in Des Moines, IA, two of the characters casually drove 20 minutes to the ocean. The memory continues to delight me. I want to know where that author thought that Iowa was.
Ebola is still spreading in several countries in central Africa. How did the outbreak manage to spread so far and infect so many people without being detected? This guy!
This guy, in violation of Congressional funding allocation, withdrew tons of international aid. The end of USAID was orchestrated without warning, without a wind-down plan, leaving critical infrastructure to simply collapse.
Researchers focused on whether kids that are spanked are more likely to share or, conversely, more likely to have anxiety, years down the li
2021:
Spanking found to impact children's brain response, leading to lasting consequences.
2018:
The American Academy of Pediatrics says new evidence and research not only show that spanking affects a childâs brain development and increa
2016:
Kids who are spanked tend to act out more and have more problems later on.
2012:
A study reviewed more than two decades of research on the effects of spanking and found nothing positive to report, only that physical punis
2010:
A multiyear study shows spanking kids makes them more aggressive later on
I havenât pissed people off lately by reminding them that ALL types of physical punishment of kids has been proven beyond ANY reasonable doubt to have only negative long term outcomes.
So let me scream it from the hilltops:
Stop hitting kids. End of sentence.
If you think, âbut I was hit and I turned out just fineâ let me pre-reply: NO YOU DID NOT. You think hitting a child is ok, how the fuck does that qualify as âfineâ?????? From one abuse survivor to another: please start healing yourself.
The World Health Organization report I highly recommend because there are so many conclusions that are shocking and yet completely obvious.
For example, being exposed to corporal punishment as a kid makes it more likely for a person to commit domestic violence against a partner. In places where corporal punishment is normal, people are more likely to think that rape and intimate partner violence are normal. Kids who are spanked are more likely to be violent with and to bully other kids.
Spanking is literally teaching a kid that violence is okay and normal and it affects the whole society.
It also talks about how corporal punishment affects the brain in its development. It changes the structure of the brain and slows the development of mental abilities. Kids who get spanked have much stronger hormonal responses to stress.
My toxic trait is that I am far more interested in the socio-economic and geopolitical implications of ABO settings than the smut.
For example: I can't read any ABO AUs set in England or France because while I can suspend my disbelief far enough for a gender trinary set up, I can't suspend it enough to believe those two countries would still be distinct entities in a alternate history where Richard the Lionheart could have impregnated Philip II.
If there was a viable dynastic future with Richard, Philip would have climbed him like an oak and dragged him to the altar if he had to. It's a match that makes perfect sense from both their points of view: Philip gets Aquitaine back under French rule, the best general in Europe on his council, and a powerful check on the Angevins... then unexpectedly (after Henry the Young bites it) the entire Kingdom of England for his Capetian dynasty. Richard meanwhile gets to stick it to his father, secure Aquitaine's prosperity, and gets the leverage to start pushing for his mother's release. Then when Henry kicks the bucket Richard doesn't actually have to be King of England in anything but name: Philip can run the countries and unify the Crowns and what not while Richard runs off to go Crusading.
Plus they also like, loved each other and stuff and being able to get to be together long term instead of being torn apart by politics would have been cool. But I'm mainly obsessed with the historical and dynastic implications.
All this to say any ABO au set in England or France that doesn't have them united as a singular Anglo-Frank empire is doing it wrong.
The concept of A/B/O also introduces the question of what succession law would look like under a gender trinary. England historically used cognatic succession, where female scions and their descendants could inherit titles if there were no surviving males from the previous dynastâs line, whereas France used agnatic succession, where succession could only pass through male lines.
In this AU, itâs unlikely that an Anglo-Frank union could last due to differences in succession laws between the two realms. What would happen if an Alpha died without an heir? Would Betas be treated similarly to Alphas for succession purposes? Could succession pass through Beta or even Omega lines? Succession laws were quite difficult to change, with modifications to royal succession often resulting in civil and/or international wars.
So I see your A/B/O geopolitical hypothetical and raise you that while Philip WOULD climb Richard like an oak and bear him multiple viable heirs, the Anglo-Frankish Union wouldnât last long due to differences in how the kingdoms would be inherited by the descendants of those multiple heirs. And with the complexities of succession laws in a gender trinary, the War of the Roses would only be more insane.
This is literally what the Schleswig-Holstein Question was about. Well, the âconflicting laws of successionâ bit, anyway. Not so much the ABO stuff. (But with the Schleswig-Holstein Question, who knows? Well, Lord Palmerston and two other people. But you see my point.)
What being on this site is like: every so often one of the flaming dumpsters floating by drops a fully realized academic paper overboard, and it floats over to you and you read it and it upends your understanding and revolutionizes your appreciation of a major geopolitical underpinning of European history upon which the very shape of modern civilization rests.
It's got medieval-style illustrations of Richard the Lionheart balls deep in Philip the Second, and they're thematically relevant.
a quip attributed to British statesman Lord Palmerston: "Only three people have ever really understood the Schleswig-Holstein business â the Prince Consort, who is dead â a German professor, who has gone mad â and I, who have forgotten all about it."
for those wondering who the other two people @considermycat mentioned were
[me having read through every comment spawned from the original post and stripping out details wrt PhilRich to make things more generally usable instead of pertaining to a specific historical era while adding ideas garnered elsewhere]
Let's contemplate this little summarization ofâ
A Template for the World-Building of a Historically-based Terran Omegaverse AU
· Ask yourself these questions on legality wrt establishing succession and inheritance:
How would the socioeconomic and geopolitical implications of Omegaverse settings be influenced by, let's say, prehistoric anthropology, which in layman's terms = how far back was the Geological Age that saw the rise of the Omegaverse, i.e. the premise of when the biology of the ternary Alpha/Beta/Omega sexual castes first developedâperhaps the binary sexes began to show obsolescence during the late Pleistocene Epoch, similar to the gradual degeneration of the appendixâlet's say the Holocene Epoch: so, would it be before the Ice Age when the earliest humans appeared, or at the beginning of modern human history after the Ice Age ended when humans rose to dominance who then joined together to form the first hunting bands, then clans/societies and started establishing rank and/or assigning duties? Keep in mind that the earliest lineages were based on maternal bloodlines, since paternity tests didn't exist in those days; however, that changed when male priests and kings who practiced early animistic religions realized that without a man's seed, women could not bring forth children, which eventually led to entry to the priesthood being barred to women, due to the rising belief that wombs were only empty gestational chambers where microscopic people that came from men's seed were deposited to grow until viability, even though women were attuned to the very first figures of worship; the rites honoring the natural cycles of earth and sky crossing paths with the sun and moon were increasingly conducted by men, who did not have a moon cycle their bodies were attuned to, and so they either created new figures of worship that made a better case for male attunement, or destroyed/denigrated references to female deities. In the Omegaverse, that likely translates into the justification of the transfer of power from Omega-centered households/royal courts/temples to being led by Alphas instead.
Would tasks be stratified along the lines of historical gender roles: for instance, Alphas become designated as those who go forth to hunt/gather and/or conquer/protect, Betas as those who offer care/support to the household which evolved into defining and upholding the law, especially those pertaining to hate crimes perpetrated upon the underprivileged caste(s) seen as weaker and disadvantaged due to societal norms/prejudices/discrimination, leading to the prevalent practice of masking one's caste in social situations, and Omegas as those who establish/improve upon agricultural practices by staying home to manage/rule the household/farm/settlement/realmâarcheological journals have published articles citing evidence from ancient burial sites confirming that women were increasingly relegated to societally weaker roles upon the advent of agriculture, whereby burial chambers of high ranking females tended to contain significantly fewer treasures than males of equivalent rank, as the number of tombs of honored female hunters and/or warriors quickly diminished to the point of rarity by the Iron Ageâor would Alphas subordinate any other biological caste, which could lead to mass protests and/or strikes that would be suppressed to reestablish order within the perceived hierarchy and regain the productivity of cottage industries? What, if any, are basic human rights in the Omegaverse from this point onwards? Where does the buck stop and revolution begin? What would be the Omegan equivalent of Jeanne d'Arc?
What biological advantages did this give our ancestors in a survival situationâwould these increase the odds of protection and/or a successful mating?
Is A/B/O biology expressed as genetic traits inherited at conception and manifest upon reaching adolescence, or are they an epigenetic response influenced by environmental factors, up to and including the gender caste(s) of the parents, and/or statistical scarcity of the population of a particular caste?
Is A/B/O considered a spectrum where Betas could lean towards Alpha/Omega characteristics/behavior, or would the biological caste expressions be hardcoded where Beta bodies look intersex, with fully functional reproductive organs?
Would the formation of harems be encouraged, under what circumstances (e.g. infertility, alliance with higher ranking clans usually in return for monetary gain or power, etc.), and would this cause hierarchical competition for a mate's favor/patronage; in addition, how would top/bottom dynamics and/or kinks be regarded/negotiated?
How does all this influence the determination of which marital unions/progeny would be considered legal (agnatic/cognatic/morganatic, etc.)âwould the concept of lineage follow paternal/maternal lines or A/B/O lines, how does that impact inheritance/succession laws especially when establishing the senior house versus cadet branches, and would the laws favor primogeniture/ultimogeniture/coparcenary birthright for the granting of estates/lands, titles and/or hereditary office such as lordship/Karta, asset transfer, etc.?
What if other societies/nations follow different lineage laws/suzeraintyâroyals/nobles were commonly given in marriage to allies/enemies to produce viable heirs who would supposedly unify the relevant parties via assimilation into the ruling structure; how would the resulting conflict involving the nobility rallying around various royal heirs due to ideological differences be resolvedâwould civil and/or international wars leading to a dynastic split become the established norm due to historically documented difficulties with modifying succession laws, or would mediation/arbitration settle matters, in which case who would be considered the ultimate authority, especially if there was religious incompatibility? How would all this impact the path to kingship/empery, how would the laws of heraldry work, the importance of bardcraft to track potential future allies and past traitors, how alliances were formed/discarded, the reasons/ways that wars were fought, the recruitment of which phenotypes for certain types of light/heavy infantry versus cavalry, the differing ways that fighting styles were taught, the crafting of female armor versus male armor because of the differences in the average height/weight, body shape and center of gravity?
Considering historical settings required the breeding of heirs, homophobia would likely be defined as unions between those of the same biological caste such as A-A and/or O-O (though not usually B-B) regardless of sex and/or gender, unless female Alphas and/or male Omegas present with fertility/gestation/childbirth difficulties (leading to perisexism), in which case Betas could become the dominant caste, but then what are the consequences if Betas are unable to reproduce because of the evolutionary conditions in that universe, but could legally arrange/command the marriages of their fecund family members; if so, would Beta caste heirs be selected via adoption and/or from Beta children born to their Alpha/Omega siblings and/or orphaned cousins, all of whom might be considered second class citizens or maybe even chattel in this type of society?
· And now for questions wrt modern societal norms, expectations, guidelines, products, etc.:
Would the term 'nuclear family' need to be redefined as a triad rather than a couple; and if there are children, can they now call themselves a pack/clan, or would more members be required?
Would a regular feature of the home include a large conversation pit which also doubles as the area for pack cosleeping, and is there a soundproofed rut/heat room nearby, in addition to the regular bedroom(s)?
Should everyone wear something that covers the neck glands to prevent accidentally flashing an intimate area, or would this type of restriction only apply to Alphas and/or Omegas?
Can we assume that there exists a vast range of pheromone suppressants/dupes/masking agents on the market: patches, sprays, roll-ons, pills, injections, etc., and would there be a black market for experimental suppressants that have yet to go through human trials which are available only to the ultra-wealthy who can afford the fines if caught?
How does having animalistic traits such as estrus cycles, pheromones, and rut/heat affect the establishment of policies for sick time off and/or parental leave as versus the un/expected breaking of pack bonds for bereavement leave?
Would traditionally conservative religious groups enforce/urge a time of seclusion for those in estrus similar to the barring of entry into temples for women on their period?
Are there support groups for those experiencing discrimination whose outer appearance doesn't match their scent?
Always keeping in mind international events and politics happening concurrently during the timeline starting from Classical Antiquity through the Modern Era, how would all of this change history as we know it?
I do not agree with veganism as a moral standard. If it is your personal moral stance, that is fine. If you think humans eating meat is inherently immoral, I donât want to deal with you, youâre hopeless. Vegan ideology behaves more like a sect of evangelical Christianity than a dietary choice.
Veganism is better for the environment, but claiming that it's a morally superior choice ignores cultural and economic factors that make people eat animal products.
It is not inherently better for the environment. That is the thing. When you begin trying to explain that local, sustainably sourced animal protein is better for the environment than imported plant proteins that are farmed 3,500 miles away using slave labor, they start tuning you out. Down is better for the environment than polyester stuffing, leather is better for the environment than pleather. We should work on making animal agricultural practices more sustainable instead of trying to shame everyone into eating plant products that are also farmed unethically and unsustainably.
And if I said Megamind through its three subversions of Superman shows a deeper understanding that the point of Superman is that he was loved and taught to love by good, present parents, and because of that he is able to return that love to a world even if it doesn't always accept it, and he is not corrupted by his power, than many other films either subverting or playing the superman story straight.
Megamind has three Superman subversions. One is obviously Megamind himself. He was not raised loved by the world, but rather was loved by those hated by the world. Because he was still raised with love, he does care about other people, hence his character development. But because he didn't receive wider love growing up, his own is misplaced at first.
Metro Man was not loved growing up in a way that mattered. His adopted father was clearly very absent, and while we don't know much about his family, their relationship seems superficial. Because of this, his sense of duty to the world is also superficial, hence his boredom.
Hal wasn't raised with power. He gained it and was shown how to use it by a 'space dad' who only taught him power and not love. Hence, he sees it only as a grasping means to an end.
All three of these subversions, in their negative space, create the silhouette of the superhero that they are parodying. That silhouette is of a space child that came to earth and was cared for very deeply by the world, and taught love through his experience of love, and because of that holds fast to his duty to the world. Which is Superman.
new fanfic writer who has marked their work completed ao3 only to leave a note at the end saying: thanks for all the support guys if you want to read the rest of the fic subscribe to my patreon :)
me, an elder fandom veteran, suddenly having anne rice flashbacks:
no.
NO.
starting to rock back and fourth.
you do not understand.
you were born into an age of peace. i was there Gandalf. i was there three thousand years ago. i remember the cease and desists. i remember authors hunting fanfic writers for sport. i remember when every fic opened with a disclaimer because we genuinely thought it might protect us.
we do not charge money for the copyrighted gay wizard stories.
Remember people, this is against AO3s terms of service. If you see a fic that does this REPORT THAT THING!!! These people may not know better or they might, but them doing this has the potential to ruin things for everyone.
one of the hardest things to learn as a depressed former Gifted Kidâą is that half-assed is better than nothing. take the 50%, 40%, even 20% job. scrubbing your face is better than not taking a shower at all. picking up your clothes is better than never cleaning. nibbling on some bread is better than starving.
DO THINGS HALFWAY. NOW YOUâRE 100% BETTER OFF THAN YOU WERE BEFORE.
One of my college professors used to say âanything worth doing is worth doing poorly.â I didnât understand that for years because I didnât do anything poorly, I couldnât do anything poorly, I had to Do Everything Perfectly.
But brushing your teeth for 30 seconds is better than not brushing them at all when that 2 minutes seems exhausting. Doing ten minutes of yoga is better than 10 minutes of sitting when 30 minutes of cardio sounds impossible. Changing my clothes is good when a whole shower is impossible. Standing on the porch for a few minutes is worth it after being in the house for three straight days because I donât have the energy to go anywhere.
Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly⊠because doing it poorly is better than not doing it.
You must understand that perfectionism isnât striving for excellence, itâs a crippling fear of being flawed and therefore worth abandonment or punishment. Itâs a kind of psychological avoidance. Youâre avoiding fear and failure , not embracing the thing you want to do bc if it was about the thing you want to do youâd be fine with partial victory.
Being a calm, gentle, non-reactive person is really hard work, which is probably why many people are none of these things. Personally I think itâs worth it but sometimes one does want to just roll around on the floor wailing at the top of oneâs lungs
People in my notes who think Iâm repressed or dissociating: you will feel better when you learn emotions are not a binary of Not Feeling It vs Being Overwhelmed By It
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