I Like It When You Don't Touch My Hair @chichidevayne - Tumblr Blog

idk if anyone can see this but i just logged onto my tumblr after like.... a year?? or two?? and it won’t even let me see my own blog because it “might contain sensitive material” bitch what do u mean

hello I am back on tumblr to let you all know that chi chi devayne is the winner of as3 thanks

shock

ever wanted to know what your name might be if you were a villain using the common thematic structures of ridiculous DC villains?

wonder no more.

i am King Egg.

hermannco

I got frucking ‘Lord man’

whenflowersfade

Professor Vertigo

jonlybonlyfromboldlygo

Junkyard Monopoly

moonlightandmarble

The Radioactive Heart

azraeldigabriel

MISTER PEANUT

anyway-what

THE RADIOACTIVE MIRROR

little-homestuck-blog

Doctor Rainbow

empress-feferi

MASTER RAINBOW

I AM THE GAY LORD

anywaylloydgarmadonistrans

yo.

aces-to-apples

Wandering Whale. How dare.

Commander Baby

Tycoon Candle

CRIME SHARK

Why did I get fucking Gentleman Man

maybenotboring

sure, I don’t get a “healthy” amount of sleep like SOME PEOPLE do but can they do THIS *stands up, blacks out for a second*

batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate

I think we’re kind of starting to get away from this but have y’all noticed how in the vast majority of popular media, sex scenes don’t actually tend to involve a lot of talking/fumbling/awkwardness unless it’s for humor or to indicate that the people having sex are a.) probably Wrong for each other somehow or b.) inexperienced, possibly having sex for the first time?

but “good” sex, between people who are experienced and In Love etc, is almost always effortlessly athletic and steamy and they somehow telepathically know exactly what to do. I’m not talking about knowing what their lover enjoys, that’s entirely feasible, but they never even have to coordinate what they’re doing. there’s no “do you want me on top?” or “do you want to do [x]?” or accidentally getting in each other’s way.

the overwhelming message that I’ve always gotten from pop culture is that Good Sex happens without communication and, more dangerously, that needing to communicate is a sign that you’re somehow bad at sex, when in reality that’s almost definitely a sign that you’re, you know, a considerate partner who actually gives a shit about people being comfortable when they have sex with you.

napfa

why doesn’t this have more notes

batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate

because I posted it less than 12 hours ago; give it time, friend

thepixiepaige

Not only that but like, overwhelmingly sex in media is portrayed as this steamy, well-oiled, SERIOUS machine. Like… where’s the fun? Pop culture seems to be so obsessed with this communication-less pantomime of actual intimacy rather than the reality of intimacy going hand in hand with not only consideration but humour and mutual vulnerability.

Sex is by nature so awkward and odd and it NEVER works the way you see in films or on tv. It’s never seamless and perfect and that is not a BAD THING.

You’re not “doing it wrong” if you’re having problems getting a good rhythm and keep messin’ each other up by trying to help.

You’re not doing it wrong if you’re laughing and talking and not taking it seriously.

And additionally, and now this is a complete tangent from the original point here, but you’re not doing it wrong if you don’t manage to get off or get your partner off.

Sometimes sex is just the action and not the climax and that’s COMPLETELY FINE. My partner and I struggled a LOT with this when we first started having sex because we both had terrible guilt when we couldn’t reach climax or couldn’t get the other off because we felt like that was what the whole point of sex was.

Media puts a lot of PRESSURE on sex and what it looks like that shouldn’t be there and it’s AWFUL.

The focus is just so … wrong.

batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate

hey @thepixiepaige no big but this is the best commentary anyone has ever added to one of my posts

gaynehollander

queen of relatable content

#she looks SO GOOD

courage-95

brago-deactivated20180214

pops the parasol right out her pussy QUEEN!

m86-deactivated20171116

If you hard. Then you hard.

localstarboy

Y'all better wake up and tell me why this infused with the most swag of the century.

will-x-vi

Bruh this is TOO ICY lol. Them boys just stared at the crowd afterwards like “pick ya faces up”

queenpalms

humancomputer-blog1

If you need me I’ll be in the bath watching lava on my television

saddest-cat-hours

amvs

View this post on Instagram

BIG MOOD

swdyww-deactivated20210428

What does she want give it to he r

surprisebitch

GIVE IT TO HER YOU MONSTER

villainous-queer-deactivated202

HIs name is Fuku and he’s deaf. His owner’s instagram says he was just ‘singing’. Considering he is deaf it’s likely he has no idea how loud he is.

balderdashing

Good Boy

andhumanslovedstories

This is the greatest progression of events I have ever read, where’s my historical gay romance novel about this

ariaste

KING JAMES, CAN YOU CHILL?

cornchipz-revival

Local King Cannot Stop Promoting His Boyfriend

ruby--wednesday

where’s the lush period drama about this series of events?

hotidiotsoup

fun thing about king James, this guy was fairly public about his bf (more public than what was acceptable). He threw lots of extravagant parties with his man on his arm. It pissed off the church obviously so to get them off his back, he’s the one that ordered the third translation of the Bible from Hebrew to English (the King James Version aka the Authorized Version) so the Bible every hot blooded all American Christian reads today was literally just written so a very gay king could fuck his boyfriend in peace.

bemusedlybespectacled

oh my god this is hilarious

“guys, guys. I know this looks kinda gay, and i promise i have a good explanation for all this, but have you considered… that jesus… is also gay? checkmate, heteros.”