Teacher’s Pet
By A.W. Strouse, Illustration by Sam Kalda for The Chronicle Review
My husband didn’t want to get a cat.
Evan had never owned a pet, because, as he explained to me, "black people don’t like animals." Interracial intimacy has taught me to rethink critical race theory — but I’ll save those insights for another article. Here I’ll explain how teaching my feline to use a human toilet has taught me to rethink my approach to pedagogy.
Our Brooklyn apartment’s unrelenting plague of mice helped me to persuade Evan, but the prospect of a litter box still made him hesitate. I finally convinced him by showing him a few YouTube videos of kitties using commodes. Soon enough a cat came into our lives serendipitously — she nuzzled against my feet as I searched through the ice-cream freezer at the local deli. Then the little cutie, a calico of two years, followed me to the cash register. "If you want Cookie," the deli owner said, "we need to get her out of here anyway." Cookie came home with me, dispatched the rodents with relish, and curled up on the couch. Her take-no-prisoners ferocity, combined with her prim elegance, quickly earned her a surname. Evan dubbed her Cookie Lyon after the character played by Taraji P. Henson on Fox’s Empire.
My test as a pedagogue began. The Litter Kwitter™ arrived in the mail — a series of three trays that fit onto any conventional toilet. The first tray contains a pan for cat litter, which the student uses as one would a conventional litter box. During this stage the student learns by habit to do her business on top of the toilet. After several weeks the instructor replaces Tray 1 with Tray 2. The second tray has a small hole. During this stage the student becomes accustomed to the toilet water — naturally frightening to most kitties — and under the teacher’s supervision she learns to aim through the hole. After the student has mastered this stage, which takes several weeks, then Tray 3 replaces Tray 2. The third pan contains a much larger hole surrounded by a narrow rim of litter. Through repetition and coercion, the student gradually becomes accustomed to the porcelain throne. But this approach challenged everything I had previously believed about pedagogy.
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