Maybe… Maybe They Aren’t So Bad?

//\\Age 22//\\ //\\Pronouns: She/Her//\\ Chuuya’s wifey with a great taste in books

[chuuyas89bottleofpetrus]

Dazai Kinnie things (VENT POST)

This is going to be a very, very rough ride so I'm just putting the trigger warning here. As it is a vent post, there are multiple repeated words and possible grammatical errors.

This post contains suicidal ideas, self-harm, and other things that are simply unpleasant. Read at your own risk.

Being a Dazai kinnie means a lot more than just being suicidal and acting cheery even though you're dead inside. It means you're manipulative, untrustworthy, apathetic, and just feel you're in a black hole all the time. You feel nothing.

You honestly can't change, but you still try so damn hard to be better and you just end up doing more damage. You end up pushing yourself away from the people you get attached to because you know that their lives will be ruined if they stay around you.

You show no empathy or sympathy because someone hurt you, they hurt you so much you can't feel anything anymore. You cry for hours, even days because when you look in the mirror you don't recognize what is looking back at you.

And since you don't know what that abomination staring at you is and you know that if you show the real you to anyone they would look at you with nothing but disgust, you put on a happy, bubbly front that is undoubtedly unsettling because everyone can just sense that there is something wrong with you.

You are kind to others because you want something. You aren't being nice to them because you actually like them or care about their well-being, and when you get what you want you're going to hurt them just like that person hurt you.

And then when you're all alone, you realize that you are truly all alone. You have no one, you have no one who you can seek comfort from, you have nothing. No friends, no family, and then it hits you.

What worth do you have if you feel nothing? If all you do is destroy the things around you, what reason do you have to keep going?

And then you're sucked deeper into the black hole that has replaced your heart. You start hurting yourself to feel something, anything. Even if it's only pain, at least you feel something.

And when you have become numb to the pain, when you really don't feel anything anymore, can't feel anything anymore, what then? What use do you have if you can no longer feel anything, if no one cares about you, if all you do is destroy? If everything around you is telling you "you are no longer human", what point is there to existing?

Now you have finally realized that there is only one solution to your problem.

The only question is "which method do I use to get that solution?".

Being a Dazai Kinnie is an indescribable feeling. A terrible, empty feeling. It means a life of loneliness and isolation, a life that leaves you hollow and soulless.

Being a Dazai Kinnie is knowing that no matter how you look at it, you are truly no longer human.

"And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply am not there." -Patrick Bateman, American Psycho (2000)

[never-kill-on-the-first-dat-blog]

Hey, what’s Winnie the pooh’s favorite color?

[taco-bout-a-shit-blog]

Yellow

[never-kill-on-the-first-dat-blog]

No it’s red because of his shirt

[taco-bout-a-shit-blog]

No, it’s yellow because he loves honey

[never-kill-on-the-first-dat-blog]

You have no idea what you’re talking about

[taco-bout-a-shit-blog]

DID I FUCKING STUTTER?

[voaga]

Things heating up at the Winnie the Pooh fandom

[sun-of-a-watcher]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[catchymemes]

[bloodytales]

This is legitimately the fucking funniest star wars post I have ever seen. Thank you for this.

[ourladyinshadow-deactivated2023]

sorry i'm deranged about characters nobody cares about, do u still think i'm hot

[dunsparcee]

I sneeze

[internetwes]

[hotlikeaspicymeatball]

[pokemonheritageposts]

Pokemon Heritage Post

[kim-jong-chill]

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

[mattheuphonium-blog]

fabulous 

[tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020]

i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.

[counterpunches]

#HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY

[lostinhistory]

It is possible that somewhere off the coast of Newfoundland there is an iceberg shaped like a giant dick.

[lostinhistory]

IT'S REAL

[robotlyra]

AND THE PHOTOGRAPHER COMES FROM DILDO, NEWFOUNDLAND

[ysabelmystic]

ITS REAL

[grimblo-goblin]

Mr. Pretty from Dildo, Newfoundland photographed a Giant Penis Shaped Iceberg

[deadbeatescape]

IN CONCEPTION BAY

[psychicbirdstarlight]

This reads like an article in the postillion

[iriluu]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

When we were children, my sister had private music lessons at her violin teacher’s house. I only visited there once, but I still remember that afternoon. The teacher had an artificial pond in her yard, a large beautiful thing with lily pads and plant life. And in the pond, there were goldfish. I had never seen such enormous goldfish. 

I spent several minutes just staring at them (and trying to convince them to bite my fingers.) When my sister’s violin lesson ended, her teacher came out to the yard and explained that these goldfish were the same small creatures that were often unfortunately sold in plastic bags at state fairs. They were only about two inches long apiece, when she bought them and put them in the new, empty pond. In essence, they were like every goldfish I had seen before, but they had been given a much larger, much richer environment in which to flourish. As a result, they had grown into some of the most remarkable, vibrant creatures my twelve-year-old self had ever met with. All because of a pond. 

Funny what lessons children remember. My sister doesn’t play the violin anymore, but that was the first time I caught a glimpse of the overwhelming extent to which it matters, the way the world treats us.

[barin-mclegg]

I think this might be the best post of yours I’ve ever read

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

insulting on behalf of the MANY clown husbandry posts i have gifted to you over the years

[laizy-boy04-deactivated20220501]

Sleeping beauty scene ft. Malleus & Lilia🐉🦇

(Animatic version)

[upper-eepy-sleepy-girl]

Okay, something about that kinktober (with no kink) thing that I noticed is this: every fic must have a conversation about a safeword being used, and then use it in the scene. Obviously this comes from the fact that they're treating fictional characters like real humans yadda yadda yadda

But like... the hope behind a safe word is that you're not supposed to use it unless something goes wrong. So like.

This is unironically what they're doing oml

[mortimermcmirestinks]

@lemon-and-lead I laughed out loud at this

[cheaphalloweencostume]

im trying to go to sleep but i cannotttttt stop thinking about this and laughing

[thestarsaredown]

Listen, we have to keep this thing circulating on the internet for at least another two decades, because I have to believe that one day that little girl will be grown enough to stumble upon it and She Will Explain

[holy-muffins]

We’ve made it 5 years folks

[izzyhill]

[camiekahle-deactivated20190815]

THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

[macncheese-blog]

I’VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS FOR SEVEN YEARS

DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO ?????

[pinkifingers]

That last fatal scream tho

[flawlessputaa-deactivated201610]

THE TERROR IN HIS SCREAM OH GOSH

[piss-pirate]

[chillyfeetsteak]

i’m crying

[smore-692-deactivated20170712]

WAAA-

[veritashopian]

I will always reblog this on the off chance some other poor soul has been searching for it

[molten-by-determination-deactiv]

IT’S BACK

[llibratin-deactivated20170617]

HOYL SHIT ITS B A CK

[not-a-recommended-url]

IT’S BACK?? ON MY DASH?

[keymageheartfilia]

re-blogging again xD

[lionowlonao3]

what was that we were just saying about still having posts circulating from ridiculous numbers of years ago? 😂

[best-of-reblogs]

[peptothesi]

I feel like it’s a duty to reblog such a natural treasure

[bogleech]

All those accounts though….

[thegeekogecko]

[timidsketch]

It's still so strange to me how apparently taboo it is to like a post on someone's Instagram from a month ago when there are posts still circulating on Tumblr from 1550 BCE

[roolsilver]

If he didn't want it circulating in 2022 he should have sold better copper

[esc-is-holding-me-hostage]

i'll believe in Asiavision when i see it with my own eyes

[callizinc]

I do not "render." I do not "shade." I do not "paint," I do not "detail" and i do not draw "Backgrounds." I draw BLAND CHARACTERS standing in WHITE VOIDS And if it doesn't look good i GIVE UP.

[michaeltrapson]