Fifth Man at the Table

Hmm... Where to begin? I'm Ciel, a 23 year old cis male. I belong to A LOT of fandoms, and I'm constantly joining new ones. I post a little of everything, but I mainly post RWBY. I post anime stuff in general. I'm also a huge fan of Sherlock and, of course, Firefly! I do try to tag all of my posts, but if I miss one, or tag incorrectly, feel free to let me know. I'm more than happy to change my tagging habits.

[ciel-noir17]

I’ve bee thinking a lot about suicide lately. Not to say that I’m actively suicidal or anything, it just keeps popping up in my thoughts. I really don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I’ve been living with my family again since September, and I just can’t handle it.

I guess this all starts back in September of ‘17, or thereabouts. I was working at a call center handling customer service for a phone company and I was good at it. Not really amazing, I wasn’t a top performer, but I was always among the best on my team. But then I got sick... I thought I had pneumonia. I couldn’t make it into work as often as I should, but I also couldn’t really get medical attention, so I didn’t qualify for a leave of absence either. Eventually, in December, I was let go.

So I moved to a new city and started over! Things were great for a couple months, but I was still sick and it was catching up with me. I kept missing more work because I just wasn’t healthy enough to make it to and from work.  Finally, in either April or May of ‘18, I had my wisdom teeth pulled and my dentist prescribed antibiotics to make sure they didn’t get infected. Suddenly my chest was clear and I was healthy! Things were turning around! And then work decided I had already missed too much time and sent up the paperwork to let me go. I was blindsided. My attendance was nearly perfect after I got better, and they let me go seemingly out of nowhere.

I was out of options, I moved back home. 

This is where things take a turn for the worse. Late September, I start working at Hobby Lobby. Not a bad job, but I’m not getting enough hours, plus I’m only seasonal. Things are going alright for about a month, but business isn’t picking up like expected and they have to start looking at letting people go. I was one of the most recent hires, my position was the most overstaffed, so I was the first to go. They did make sure to say it was because I was working too slow (which is bullshit, I was as fast as any of the other guys) but the real reason was the lack of business.

So now, I’m sleeping on my dad’s floor, looking for work again. Finding nothing. The month is starting to wind down, and my best friend is gearing up to move out of state. I’m sad because I won’t get to see her anymore, but (other than being stressed about it) she seems to genuinely be happy for the move, so I’m happy for her. But I still end up making an ass of myself at her going away party. She hasn’t spoken to me since, and it hurts, but I see her posting on Facebook, and things seem to really be going well for her, so at least I can be happy for her. I still miss her influence in my life. Maybe she’s tried texting me, but that phone is turned off now, so I don’t know if I’ll ever find out.

After she moved, things started to spiral out even worse. Still not having any luck finding work, my family decided I was just being lazy. Nothing I did around the house was good enough, they found flaws with everything. My dad bought a house in that time frame, and we moved to a neighboring city. I helped back, I helped load, I helped unload, I cleaned the old house, but somehow it wasn’t enough. The last week, as we were finishing up, I was at the other house, everyday, alone for many of it, and the final day the first thing my stepmom said to me when I got there was complaining about how I hadn’t done enough, and how now she had to work on it too. At one point, my dad got my stepbrother a job, but since I didn’t beg him for one, he decided I would be an embarrassment, and didn’t even ask.

Things have continued like that since, and it’s getting to be too much for me. At the start of March, I was moved out to the shed in the backyard. I’ve been told I’m not allowed to shower/bathe everyday, and I have to be out looking for work from 10-4 everyday. There aren’t really enough businesses to do that, but whatever. I’ve been out looking for work, and getting nowhere, I can’t talk to my family about anything, if I mention I got an interview, they immediately ask me what else I’ve done today. They’ve also decided I’m not doing enough around the house (the house I don’t even technically live in anymore) and have started putting me to work around the house. 

Today, my dad called me into the house to berate me about how I’m not trying hard enough and to let me know that I have until May 1st. After that, if I’m still not working, I’ll be homeless. When that happens, I have no idea what I’m going to do. If it’s hard to find a job now, it’ll become impossible if I become homeless. I’m just so lost now, and so tired.

[smh0217]

Meme made by rwby_dooby_doo on Instagram

[frishbi]

RT really has a type huh

[ciel-noir17]

I’ve been sayin it for years now, the redheads are not safe!

[moodybluemegamind]

No she didn’t

[good-rwbyaus]

AU where teams RWBY & JNPR play D&D in their free time.

[anxious-strawberry-with-adhd]

i’ll do you one better, the story of RWBY is the campaign

[good-rwbyaus]

You have my attention you adorable sentient coffee bean ~ Green

[anxious-strawberry-with-adhd]

Ozpin is the DM, Salem(who is sweet outside the campaign and still Ozpin’s wife), Qrow, Raven, RWBY, JNPR are the players and when penny was a character, they used a roomba to roll ‘her’ dice 

[bubhh]

Oscar is just Ozpin nephew that showed up one day and Oz was like ‘Okay, now you are a kid with my voice in your head’. (The boy bearly even wanted to participate and had to be roped into it, but he learned to have fun)

[anxious-strawberry-with-adhd]

oscar is the stand in DM who has no clue whats happening

[shroudthecursedone]

Hazel, Tyrian, and Watts are members of a support group that Salen hosts who have volunteered to be the baddies. Cinder is their (Ozpin and Salem’s) foster child, Mercury and Emerald are Conder’s friends from school.

[madnimrod]

Winter is still Weiss’ older sister, and she showed up to play ONCE. She ruled the game that night.

[gayxiao]

definitely pyrrhas mom

[ciel-noir17]

Ok, but what if, and stay with me here, it’s actually reincarnated Pyrrha? The lily represents motherhood and REBIRTH. We’re never explicitly told that she’s Pyrrha’s mom, and frankly, she knows things that she shouldn’t know. Her conversation with Juane doesn’t make sense because things that she says she just shouldn’t have known, including things about the Fall of Beacon (sure, it’s probably public record what happened there, but not EVERYTHING, record would say that Pyrrha died there, but it’s unlikly to mention that a student went off on her own to fight one of the terrorists.) Also, why didnshe vanish right as the rest of the team showed up? Wouldn’t she wamt to meet them if she was Mama Nikos?

TL/DR: I’m still hopeful for the Pyrrha lives theory. Don’t take this too seriously, I just still have questions about that scene, it is probably Mama Nikos.

[0utpost-alpha]

[blood-gulch-reds]

Innocent person: what’s your favorite color? :)

RvB fan:

[bleepbloop-caboose-deactivated2]

there is only one right answer

[wolveswolves]

Two playing Coastal wolves in British Columbia by Lyman Creek Photography

[hiwonoafu-deactivated20250416]

[ciel-noir17]

I’m starting to understand why bipolar people tend to self medicate with meth. Getting sick of this depressive stage pretty god damn fast and would due damn near anything to get over it already. I’m not saying I’m gonna try meth (seen the damage that can do too many times already) but I gotta say, I’m starting to inderstand.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

How To Seduce a Barbarian

We are battling a group of orc warriors defending a temple. We have taken heavy damage and our Druid was being targeted for threatening the orcs.

DM: Druid, you see one orc, the one who’s mother you claimed to bed, is coming at you. And with one mighty swing of its giant club (nat 20) ouch- hits you in the face. Dislocating your jaw, and leaving you with only one hit point left.

Druid OOC: Okay kiddy gloves are coming off! I cast cure wounds to set my jaw back in place then cast erupt earth on these fucks.

(All the remaining orcs rolled low)

DM; Damn, in a sudden rush of fury you all see Druid grab the sides of his face and snap his jaw back into place. Then, with a blood curdling scream, cause the ground to erupt beneath the orcs. Spires of stone shoot out of the earth, impaling the orcs one by one limb by limb. The battle ends with probably the most gruesome display of nature’s fury any of you have ever seen.

Druid OOC: I turn to the group, still covered in blood and bruises, and smile.

Barbarian OOC: I cream my pants automatically, and begin to question why.

DM: And, for the first time ever, our womanizing Barbarian questions his sexuality.

Rogue: Omg I ship it already!

[ciel-noir17]

I’ll probably delete this tomorrow, I just felt like I needed to get it out.

I’m having my worst depressive phase in five years... I don’t know what I’m doing and I’m not even sure what’s causing it. It might be that I’m back home, my family always brings out the worst in me, it might be that I’m unemployed so I’m always broke and bored, maybe I’m just fucking lonely, who knows. All I know is I’m feeling the worst that I have in a long time amd I don’t know what to do anymore... I’m just so tired...

[bobasisters]

H A R O L D

[ciel-noir17]

I am concerned with how much that child looks like Oscar...

[henryscavills]

[siderealsandman]

This is what a nat 20 on an intimidation check looks like

[kenisle]

y’all keep calling eddie brock the king of “bisexual disaster” energy and you’re not wrong that he is a huge source of that. but you know who the real king is?

geoff motherfucking ramsey. look at him.

[achieverooster]

Just Achievement City Things

Accidentally knocking the kung-fu off of Ryan’s house and having to spend 20 minutes to fix it

“What does this button do again?” “NONONONO”

A creeper ending up blowing Achievement City up regardless

It being inevitable that Geoff’s house gets flooded when someone pushes the wrong button during most of the episodes

That time when they built everything for their minecraft let’s plays in the same world, so during 99% of the episodes at some point they have to blur the screen because someone found something for an episode that they havent done yet

Periodically going into Gavin’s trophy room of victory in order to shame him

Messing with Ryan’s various animals

Nobody knows where anything is despite being in the same world for several years

Jack’s house burning down

“Wait, is auto save on???” “…yes, why?” “Oh, fuck”