♡Alexander♡

i get weirdly horny on main mb , he/they

[circusclownfever]

why do penises leak when aroused . sir , youre getting your pre-splooge all over my freshly washed sheets

[hellallamerican]

a ton of people have unexpectedly followed me over the last 2 days so here is my rent-lowering gunshot:

the american south is the most racially diverse and poorest region of the united states, and any political sentiment that treats the south is stupid or expendable is inherently racist and classist. a lot of y'all are racist and classist. the south is also the heart of american culture. argue with a wall. you cannot deny that everybody in the entire world does not emulate artists from atlanta. there is vested interest in keeping the south poor and uneducated BECAUSE this is the most racially diverse region in this country. if you actually give a fuck about progress, you would fight for the south, not mock us.

[sabertoothwalrus]

I’m so proud of senshi for making it so far in the tumblr sexyman poll. I think it’s so beautiful that tumblr has reached a point where a short fat hairy bearded man is the pinnacle of sexuality for a large swath of this userbase. it’s like when you see before & after pictures of a rainforest recovering from deforestation. nature is healing and we can fight god

[sabertoothwalrus]

I hope he wins so someone will have to explain to ryoko kui what a tumblr sexyman is

[ailithnight]

[sabertoothwalrus]

I have to say I forgot the onceler’s thing was cutting down trees when I made my metaphor.

[sabertoothwalrus]

the forest is also a metaphor for his bush

[sabertoothwalrus]

how does this post have almost 20k notes and senshi isn’t even winning. the poll is not over he needs your help!!!!!! do it for the fat boys

[alphacrone]

i don't really want to weight in on the "using big words in your writing is ableist" discourse happening on tiktok because i'm like 90% certain it's an anti-intellectual psyop to stir up drama in online circles to promote the use of ai to summarize literally everything and thus feeding the LLMs and lowering the populace's mistrust of such tools but i also have to say: dictionaries and thesauruses are the most accessible they've ever been. if you use an e-reader of any kind you can look up a word without leaving the page. there's a plethora of online dictionaries and if you just type a word + "meaning" into google it'll usually give you a definition. we used to have pocket dictionaries we used when reading in class. i have two on my shelf right now that i used in high school. stop letting the fascists purposefully misuse anti-ableism rhetoric to trick you into never thinking again.

[captain-price-returns]

You’re years too late to be recognizing the threat of US government mass surveillance, bud.

[diseases-for-center-control]

i am eating taco bell. there is no sign of land. you are coming down with me. hand in unwashed hand. and i hope you get the explosive diarrhea. i hope we both get the explosive diarrhea

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

graffiti discourse is so stupid why the hell would I give a shit if people spraypaint their names or do some cool paintings under a bridge

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

sorry didn't realize the bridge has to be plain beige concrete. that was a load bearing plain beige concrete if anyone tags it the whole bridge collapses

[autismfox]

Graffiti is modern day cave painting

[hateusandseeifwemind]

[pinene]

Can anyone explain wtf is going on here especially a Korean speaker

[tadeadshihamurder]

someone on reddit explained 😭

[no-one-offical]

‎

[desmolbean404]

That is one of the most astronomical fuck up translations I have ever seen.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

funniest yet most enlightening conversation on this whole social media ban topic, by two girls sat across from me on the bus the other day:

"what do they mean by social media? does Roblox count? what about all the stuff I've built?"

"you'll be fine, doesn't your icloud say you're 34?"

"oh my god they're even banning Facebook. who the fuck is on Facebook"

[henstomper]

hard cider was invented when someone decided to make beer that tastes good instead of bad

[impossiblepackage]

stupid fuckin post. People have been making beer since before they even knew how to write and you think that they don’t like the way it tastes?

[henstomper]

damn all that time and it still tastes really bad. huge L tbh

[lazer-exe]

I'm gonna say it, I do think that even the laziest person imaginable should have a roof over their head, food in their stomach, and access to healthcare

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

you make one fucking post where the point is “women are encouraged to develop disordered eating from a very young age and that impacts how we view the ‘natural’ size and shape of women” and too many reblogs later i am being accused of saying short people wouldn’t exist if they ate better growing up. i’m sorry but if you genuinely think i was saying that you are just a buffoon. i cannot and will not sanction your buffoonery.

[luckyladylily]

So the thing is boobs really do be jiggling. If having breasts has taught me anything it is that the ladies frolic. I don't even have that large of boobs but every time I go down some stairs all I can think about is that stupid quote about boobing breastily down the stairs or whatever it is because God Damn.

But anime and video game boob jiggling is like. The most uncanny valley shit I've ever seen nine times out of ten. You would think people this horny about tits would have actually looked at some but I guess not.

What we really need is some pervert to compile the ultimate visual guide to boob bouncing physics that's just like 500 hours of meticulously organized videos of breasts of different size and shape and under different fabrics bouncing around from a wide variety of physical movements so horny game devs can finally get it right and I don't have to be creeped out by women who appear to have surgically implanted softballs in their chest under skin made of rubber bands.

[feminist-space]

[shithowdy]

"next time, log in faster with fingerprint/face/iris recognition!" how about i keep typing my password like i have for the past 25 years and you fuck off

[daklan]

sleep is child of dead

[thickness-protection-program]

Why is this heat so hot 😩

[fagapult]

It’s the heat

[thickness-protection-program]

Source?

[mamoswole]

[thickness-protection-program]

[pepsimansthickjuicymeatyschlong]