Codependent Bloom

Hey all. Denni here, and I am Codependent, welcome to my page; Sometimes self-destructive, sometimes not, always taking one day at a time. I hope you feel safe here.

[daughterofanarcissistwoman]

[furiousgoldfish]

If you’re having a relapse or things are suddenly getting bad, after a period of feeling better, remember that trauma will act up according to the time of year it was happening. If you, for no noticeable reason, are suddenly having bad nightmares, or are unable to sleep, or are having extra flashbacks, breakdowns, anxiety, exhaustion, pain and other symptoms, try to think of whether you’re chronologically close to a traumatic event from the past. Maybe it’s an anniversary of something bad happening that is coming up, or a holiday or a birthday that used to be extremely stressful. For some abused kids, summer can be extra stressful because they often had to be home for months with abusive parents around.

It’s not always a relapse, it’s that our body remembers what happened to the exact time of the year, and starts expecting it again, or remembering and re-living it, trying to process the left-over stress and anxiety of it. It’s out of our control, and we can’t do anything else but to survive it. If you live thru this period of time safely, without anything bad happening to you for many years, it will start to feel safer and lighter, and your symptoms will decrease. You’re recovering every year you are not exposed to trauma.

[softdaisie]

maybe the purpose of life is to fill it with as many positive things as you can. regardless of how bad life gets, don’t let it steal your personality, your hobbies, your style. after coming home from a bad day at work maybe you need to sit down and read a nice book. after studying non-stop for so long, maybe you should finish that crochet project you’ve been putting off because you’re so busy. maybe we should prioritize the things we love, the things that make us happy, and not just the things we’re forced to do to survive. in this society, a little peace from the outside world is important. don’t give up on the things that make you happy. don’t forget about yourself.

[hermajestyimher]

Follow on Twitter

[radiolightning]

In case anyone is having a bad night:

Here is the fudgiest brownie in a mug recipe I’ve found

Here are some fun sites

Here is a master post of Adventure Time episodes and comics

Here is a master post of movies including Disney and Studio Ghibli

Here is a master post of other master posts to TV shows and movies

*tucks you in with fuzzy blanket* *pats your head*

You’ll be okay, friend <3

[meanwolfs-remade-deactivated201]

i will reblog this everytime it shows up because any of my followers could have a bad night right now

[becausewhatiam-iswhatimnot]

All these links, besides the first, are broken. So here’s some more.

Here’s an emergency compliment

Here you can play 2048

Here’s a playlist of Bob ross

Here’s a website to watch movie’s and shows for free

Here’s a website to watch documentaries for free

Here you can to nothing for two minutes

Here you can break something. It’s good for anger

Here’s a button to press to make everything okay

Here’s a site to cut something up (TRIGGER WARNING)

Here’s a site that makes you a website depending on a song you choose

Here’s a gay comic. It’s adorable

Here you can spend Bill Gate’s money

Here you can draw your own island

Here you can learn about patterns website’s use

Here you can get your life stats

Here you can listen to the Tucker Zone (Headphones needed)

Here you can see how fast you’re moving

Here you can see the progress of time

Here you can see the future of the universe 

[becausewhatiam-iswhatimnot]

Want some more? 

Here’s the butterfly project

Here’s a snickerdoodle mug cake

Here’s a link to some free audiobooks

Here’s something to read when you feel like a burden

Here’s a secret

Here’s my playlist of some sea shanties 

Here’s another secret

Here’s a link to some cool websites 

Here’s a blog that gives you recipes for when you’re low on spoons

Here’s some Brony Headcanon’s

[becausewhatiam-iswhatimnot]

Some more? I’ve got plenty

Here’s 100,000 stars

Here you can control the weather (TW FLASHING IMAGES)

Here you can weave silk

Here you can make a castle of your own

Here you can make a kaleidoscope drawing

Here you can explore recursion

Here you can play a jelly block game

[becausewhatiam-iswhatimnot]

I’m back with some more! 

Here you can draw with pasta

Here you can draw logo’s from memory

Here you can play this is sand, here you draw cool sand designs

Here you can play The Organ Trail

Here’s a customizable white noise website

Here you can simulate gravity

Here you can create your own guardian of the galaxy

Here you can make your own galaxy

Here’s a website you can get some support at.

[becausewhatiam-iswhatimnot]

to find later

[addiewho]

Here you can split circles into smaller and smaller pieces (I found this really satisfying)

Here you can have images of people point to where your pointer is

Here you can paint someone’s nails

Here you can grow a garden across your screen (Audio included)

Here you can try out all kinds of mind illusions (Trigger Warning: Flashing Lights)

Here you can see how many miles you have scrolled

Here you can watch a website load forever, although you might be getting enough of this on Tumblr mobile

Here’s a rickroll

Here you can remind yourself that you’re awesome.

Here you can throw trash into a dustbin only for it to bounce right back out (Audio included)

Here you can make sand dunes using sand (Audio included)

And here you can generate more cool websites like these

[boy-in-the-stars]

pinning thissss

[fiddlepickdouglas]

And yet more!!!

Here you can listen to a gentle rainstorm

Here you can make snowflakes

Here is a Line Rider feature film with relaxing music

Here is the entire script to the Princess Bride (many don’t need it but it’s fun to read anyway)

Here is an abbreviated script for the entirety of Book 1 of A:TLA that I made out of anger at the film that definitely doesn’t exist

Here is a playlist of the top 10 most relaxing songs ranked according to science

Here’s a site where you can make a dude beatbox with fun animations

[nyxsomnia7]

I’m fully aware I will need this at some point.

[lousydrawingsforgoodpeople]

[conscious-love]

Love doesn't hurt us. People-pleasing hurts us. Pretending everything is okay hurts us. Silencing ourselves hurts us. Having no boundaries hurts us. Not having our own back hurts us. Self abandonment hurts us. Another person's unhealed shit hurts us. Love liberates — relational challenges shine a light on where we are not yet liberated.

Mark Groves

[nakedbibi333]

Feeling is the Secret, by Neville Goddard

[allsadnshit]

the secret is knowing you're worth it and making all your decisions based around that

[codependentbloom]

Today I am 14 days sober

[lousydrawingsforgoodpeople]

[traumasurvivors]

You aren’t betraying your abusive/toxic family by walking away. You’re walking away because they betrayed you.

[aliceyerger]

By eckyo.me

[and-how-to-heal-from-it]

psa if you relapsed

Take a deep breath. It’s going to be okay.

Just because you had one setback doesn’t mean your efforts are ruined. Recovery is not linear. Today is a new day.

You’re still worthy of love and respect.

Remember: you’re amazing for even attempting recovery, no matter how difficult it might be. 

[codependentbloom]

and I love you still ❤️

[codependentbloom]

"Some of us are still beating our heads against the cement, trying to get this love from people who, like Mother or Father, are unable to give what we need."

-Melody Beattie, Codependent No More

[furiousgoldfish]

socializing after you’ve been abused:

am I being useful right now?

useful enough not to be kicked out or considered a burden?

what if I ruin everything with my presence

is there anything else I can do to make sure everyone approves of me?

I haven’t done anything useful in a while, everyone must be mad at me

why is everyone ignoring me right now? am I being abandoned?

are they about to leave me? how did I deserve this?

I’m going to be alone, forever, I’m beyond help

everyone must have hated me all along and now they’re happier without me

I can feel them thinking horrible things about me. They must think how I’m stupid and don’t deserve to be here.

Is anyone seeing thru me? Can they tell I’m scared? I have to hide it better.

I’d do anything for reassurance that things are okay but if I ask for it I will be seen as annoying and too demanding so I can’t do that

It was a mistake trying to fit in, I’m ruining everything, this would all be better if only I wasn’t here

They’re all secretly blaming me for everything bad that happened, and I too am thinking of all the ways I could have stopped it and didn’t, it’s my fault

I’m being left behind, I don’t even understand what is going on right now and nobody is explaining anything to me. They want me to be left out.

I just want to be away from this, I can’t handle looking at everyone else being close to each other while I’m dying for this and will never have it

Was I wrong for thinking I could do this? Was I stupid for imagining for a second I would feel okay talking to people?

I’ve said something wrong and I’m embarrassed and ashamed. I can only imagine what everyone is thinking about me right now. It hurts so much I wish I wasn’t alive.

I just want to be alone again, and I’m terrified of being alone again.

[lousydrawingsforgoodpeople]