James: I want to hear those 4 words
Regulus: I really like you?
James: Try again
Regulus: ……..
Regulus: I won’t hurt Sirius
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@coffee-obsessed-snake
James: I want to hear those 4 words
Regulus: I really like you?
James: Try again
Regulus: ……..
Regulus: I won’t hurt Sirius
F*ck, Marry and Kill: Marauders Edition part 1:
Sirius: Marlene!! F*ck, Marry and Kill: Remus, James or Peter.
Marlene: Kill Peter (sorry), marry Remus obviously. F*ck James’ mother.
James: What the actual f- she wasn’t an option!
Can we have a series where the main characters just doesn’t give a shit.
Like her best friend is like “oh my god you’ve been prophesied to vanquish this evil to help all of us un-normals” and the mc just looks away tiredly, only thinking about coffee.
Or the evil man attacks the school and captures her, giving her the usual speech “I’m evil blah blah blah you’re meant to kill me blah blah but now I’ve captured you.” And the ONLY thing in the mc’s mind is what she should have for dinner.
Like the whole story is evolving, people are looking at the mc as the hero, but she just doesn’t give a damn. “Oh I’m prophesied to save you? Well sucks for you because tonight is the premier of the movie I’ve been dying to watch and that sounds way more fun than fighting.”
Marauders and Reg playing scrabble:
Peter: I’ll start by placing an ‘A’
Remus: I’ll add to your ‘A’ to make ‘As’
Sirius: I’ll add to your ‘As’ to make ‘Ass’
Regulus: I’ll add to your ‘Ass’ to make ‘Sirius is a fucking asshole’
Peter: ……..
Remus: …….
Sirius: …….
James: Babe….. that’s not how you play the game…
Sirius: scarred skin. Sharp nails. Small protruding fangs. I know what you are.
Remus: *from behind Sirius* say it. Out loud.
Sirius: *turns around dramatically* a werewolf!
*both laughing like idiots*
James: I wish I never showed you Twilight.
******literally the next day******
James: I could take you apart with one blow!
Regulus: I could take you apart with less than that
Sirius: *being held back by Remus* MY BROTHER?! SERIOUSLY JAMES?!
Remus: *struggling* we should’ve never watched Merlin!
Remus: Is that my hoodie?
Sirius: Sure is!
Remus: Give me back my hoodie or during the next full moon I’m sending moony after you.
****
Remus: Is that my hoodie?
Regulus: Yes but if you want it back I -
Remus: *opening his closet and rummaging through his hoodies* nonsense, keep it! In fact I have the perfect one for you somewhere here - it’s this dark green one with little stars on it, I’m sure you’ll love it-
What if Regulus was a cat animagus. He was a black cat with the greenest green eyes. When he was stressed (because of Walburga and her letters) or sad (because Sirius moved on and got himself a better brother) - he would walk around Hogwarts as a cat.
Being a cat was like freedom for him. The only kind of freedom he was ever able to get.
Being able to walk around with no glares directed at him, with no stares and no spies.
Being free to jump around and chase after butterflies. He truly did prefer his cat form over his human one.
So, when he was in the cave, drowning, he closed his eyes and concentrated on changing. Turning into his cat form, just for one last bit of happiness and freedom. He couldn’t, he wasn’t able to, because he no longer had freedom - he was too close to death.
James: *drunk and suffering after his breakup* what can be worse than the heartbreak I am going through!
Regulus: *already drunk and tearing up* stepping on a cats tail and not being able to convey how sorry you are to them
Sirius: SOMEONE TRIED TO HEX ME!!
Regulus: Go cry about it
********
James: Someone tried to hex me in the corridors but it’s fine cuz I dodged it and-
Regulus: *taking out his wand and a vile that definitely does not contain poison* who was that m0th3rfuck3r, I need names
Regulus: *passed out after not sleeping for 5 days because he was reading a huge series*
Barty: ok so what do we do with our group shared brain cell?
Evan: Tie it on the whomping willow and set them both on fire!
Pandora: No.
Barty: ……..
Evan: ……..
Pandora: put it in a box, cast a spell for it to explode in glitter when opened, and give it to the Gryffindors!
Dorcas: Or give it to Snape
Meanwhile Regulus: zzzzzzz
Imagine if in 1st year, after watching Sirius be brotherly to James and slowly ignore him, Regulus prayed for the universe to send him a friend.
It didn’t work
So Regulus did the only thing he could think of. He summoned a demon to befriend.
And in came Barty Crouch Jr - a young one messing with his father’s summoning portal.
(And obviously since he would be a Slytherin, Dumbledore never noticed cuz he never cared about Slytherins.)
Sirius: *Glares* Regulus no.
Regulus: *Glares down* Regulus yes!
James: *stares him down* Regulus no.
Regulus: *stares back* Regulus maybe…?
Remus: *stares him down* Regulus.
Regulus: *looks down* Regulus no….
I figured it would be interesting to keep note of my dreams to see what the f do I dream of (usually forget everything about my dream within an hour)
Today’s dream:
I was being chased by Micheal Myers. We were trapped in a building and we were all his targets. Everytime we thought we 💀 him, he came back alive. Once we decapitated his head and threw it in the trash can at home, and he still came back to life. I saw my brother and my brother’s gf. They kept me safe mostly. Never been more terrified but by the end of it we went to a different country. No idea what happened to the rest.
I was never scared of him when watching the movies - got bored instead - so why tf was he more scary when in my dreams💀💀💀
I love horror and especially slasher whodunits. Scream being my fave. But I wasn’t even watching Halloween or any scary movies yesterday - I was reading fluffy fanfics before bed so why????💀😭
What if…. there’s like a Ghostface in Hogwarts during the marauders era??? Like everyone thinks there is this person going around 🔪ing people but in reality it’s just a mega prank?
Like Remus gets back at Sirius by becoming GhostFace and enlisting Regulus’s help who becomes the second Ghostface. He honestly doesn’t have a reason - just wants to mess with Sirius.
Pandora’s in on the plan and her and Mary are the first to 💀 (they’re actually just hiding somewhere in Hogwarts). McGonagall and Pompfrey are in on it to get back at Dumbledore - who is STRESSING.
Evan and Barty are the second victims. They found out about the true plan after being chased and caught - Regulus wanted to scare them a bit before letting them in on the plan.
Then there is ofc the huge party scene arranged by Lily (who’s also a part of the plan). Sirius feels like the main character who’s destined to figure things out. James already figured out the truth cuz he is smart af, but is just going along with it pretending he never knew. Everyone is pretending to💀 left right and centre in the party. Sirius is now being chased by two Ghostfaces.
Finally he gets caught and pinned to the ground. When he looks up, he removes the mask from the Ghostface sitting on him only to see that it’s Remus. “Why moony?” Sirius asks on the verge of tears.
Remus leans in, “this is what you get for eating my ducking chocolates”
And then everyone pops out alive and scaring the life out of Sirius. Regulus is laughing so hard that he probably needs to go to Pompfrey after.
They don’t tell Dumbledore anything and he’s currently going mad because “No, Minerva, I saw Mary’s corpse and you told me she 💀 but she was in class today and there was supposed to be this masked 🔪ers and-”
“Albus, how high are you? What masked 🔪ers?”