It's Columbo All The Way Down

Sabrina | 23 She/Her | crybaby metaphysicist and dante fangirl | NOT A THEME BLOG i just think he's neat

[columboscreens]

[internetgreatesthits]

[mono-red-menace]

[unknown-but-existing]

i feel like this is more funny

[firewalkwithmedvd]

Was trying to make a joke about TV writing to my friend the other day and had to pause and go "...does the phrase 'surf dracula' mean anything to you?"

[firewalkwithmedvd]

One of the most important critical texts of this century imo

[hypokeimena]

image description: tweet by @/topherflorence, reading: back in the day if u did a tv show called surf dracula you'd see that fool surfing every week in new adventures but in the streaming era the entire 1st season gotta be a long ass flashback to how he got the surfboard until you finally get to see him surf for 5 min in the finale /end description

[clytemnestraaa]

hi this drives me crazy

canon is what happens in the text. e.g. merlin tries to poison morgana

a headcanon is a fact that you have personally made up as an elaboration of canon. it is your invention. e.g. i think morgana and gwen had a teenage lesbian situationship before the events of canon. or, i think modern morgana would love evanesence.

an interpretation is how one reads the existing text. it is not an invented fact nor is it a headcanon, it is a reading. e.g. i think merlin tries to poison morgana out of misplaced self-hatred. or, i think that one line was delivered with suppressed malice and shows a nuanced relationship.

fanon is the general fandom’s accepted headcanons and interpretations that elaborate or recontextualize canon. e.g. merlin is a badass waif and morgana is a bitch.

these are all different words with different meanings.

[justdecadentcollectiondestiny]

and a cannon is a large mounted gun, usually on wheels, that uses explosives to fire projectiles.

[sailorsol]

[hadesisqueer]

Two World Cup finalists from opposing teams in this fucking picture, this sport isn't real

[hadesisqueer]

Context for anyone who is wondering: Lamine Yamal's parents won an UNICEF raffle for a charity photoshoot in which Barça players posed with kids, and 5 month old Lamine happened to get 20yo Messi. Which is like. Literally insane

[joyflameball]

[pmamtraveller]

"Gannet Diving" necklace created by artist Rie Taniguchi

[dogpuppy]

[nineteenyearoldmeblog]

im fucking crying

[noodledragon324]

What I worry will happen while going through airport security

[pointless-letters]

One of the best letters I’ve ever seen just popped up on my Facebook memories. Still makes me laugh.

[pointless-letters]

As today is the 50th anniversary of the moon landing, it’s a great time to revisit Dinah from Devon’s memory of this historic event. And yes, still makes me laugh.

[pointless-letters]

Today is the 54th anniversary of the moon landing, but Dinah’s diary entry is still absolutely magnificent.

[pointless-letters]

56th anniversary of the finest moment in human history…..and some folks landing on the moon.

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Final Round

Senshi (Dungeon Meshi)

Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary)

Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune)

Voting ended onJul 20

Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt

[fwugradiation]

“And if you’ll give me 40% of the MOST POPULAR VOTE, I’ll give you my SPECIAL REWARD... A year’s supply of NON-GLOOBY SLIME!!! Never or BARELY used!!!” Tenna concluded his speech with a huge smile, jetting his hands up in double peace signs.

The crowd roared in confused enthusiasm as Tenna gave a gracious flurry of low-FPS bows, pausing only for the occasional stink-nose at his audience plants who weren’t throwing enough 3D roses.

Eventually, the room fell silent. It was Senshi’s turn to speak.

He puffed out his chest, took a long, sweeping look over the audience… and shook his head.

“I can see not all of you are eating properly.”

The crowd murmured with embarrassment.

“I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s time to take the turkey out of your icebox. I have seen the ingenious technology with which your people store food... and I have also seen the waste which results from such convenience.

“The food you take had a life. Beasts grew fat on the grass of the field, plants grew from the sun’s rays, and mushrooms grew from minerals in the cracks of caves. And yet, it sits in your iceboxes, collecting moisture until it perishes.

“Eat what is given to you. Because its life will make you stronger, too.”

Without another word, Senshi left his podium and stepped away from the stage. The crowd murmured in confusion. “Is he really like that?” somebody said. “I only remember reblogging the photosets of him tripping and showing ass.”

--

Back in the Green Room, Tenna wrung his antennas nervously.

“Y-y-you think they liked me!? They HAD to!! I mean, I don’t know what Asgore was thinking, getting that weird haircut and running that food waste campaign, but… YOU thought I did good, didn’t you, Kris?”

Laios nodded aggressively, a streak of blue face paint peeling from his forehead.

“You did AMAZING, Tenna! By the way, now that we’ve seen all your insider campaign secrets, do you have any more videos of Susie? Especially her tail... If I could get a look at that, I could finally tell if she’s a dinosaur or --”

THWACK. Fake antlers butted Laios’s head.

“LAIOS?? Weren’t we dressed up to help SENSHI???” Marcille hissed, gesturing awkwardly with her hooves.

Suddenly, Tenna turned to the two adventurers.

“Hey, WAIT a second. SOMETHING’s not right here...”

Laios and Marcille held their breath.

“Where the heck are my POINTS!?”

Just then, the door opened. Chilchuck took one step into the room, whistling and holding a large bag.

Everyone turned to him.

Chilchuck paused, took a step backwards, and closed the door.

“CHILCHUCK!!!” yelled Tenna.

“How come Chilchuck got to stay Chilchuck!?” yelled Marcille at the same time.

--

Meanwhile, in outer space somewhere, some guy was making out with a rock.

[herowyn]

5 0    Y E A R S    A G O

[rarebird22]

Almost 57 years ago!

[salmonella-destroyer-of-worlds]

[whetstonefires]

i have seen this post on my dash 7 times now and every time i think more loudly, 'this is what Batman villain The Penguin's dialogue sounds like when they let him be fun to watch.'

[anywhoozles]

[reverendrowdy]

Use your PTO

[judgejudyofficial]

stop letting miserable people on the internet convince you that you must have a concrete, well-constructed opinion on everything that has ever existed.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[judgejudyofficial]

everybody say thank you Marcus Aurelius

[annabelle--cane]

asexuality is word that describes an orientation, not a set of behaviors, ace people can do all kinds of sexual behaviors and still be asexual. some ace people have sex, some don't. some ace people kiss, some don't. some ace people masturbate, some don't. some ace people get homoerotically stabbed, some don't. it's as easy as that to understand.

[json-derulo]

for sale: Baby Shoes Stylish Infant Boy Girl Unisex First Walker Shoes Toddler Walking Crib Shoes Lightweight Non-Slip Sneakers For 6 9 12 18 24 Months Baby Shoes New With Tags New In Box Excellent Condition Never Worn