live large. go crazy. rock on.

Erin | she/they | a grown up | McMansionhell Gingerbread contest winner 2019 | fuck terfs

[trying-trying2lyk]

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

[justatiredlittlesnail]

[annabelle--cane]

what I mean: "sexual intercourse" is as much a social construct as "romantic courtship," and you discover this very quickly as a queer person if you try to talk to able bodied straight cis people who literally think the only thing that counts as Actual Sex is penis-in-vagina penetration, like they call oral "foreplay" it's so dire. various people have a lot of vested interest in cleanly defining "sex" vs "not sex" for a whole slew of reasons (ex. censorship dodging and enforcing, conferring the social clout of virginity and prowess, finding and closing loopholes about premarital sex, deciding what relationships "count" as serious partnerships, ligating what is general assault vs sexual assault vs Something That's Definitely Probably Fine And Not Sexual At All, Actually, etc.), and it's really not something you can just fall back on as obvious common sense that people are dumb for questioning.

what I say: sex isn't real and you can't have it

[justsomeguycore]

horror movie showing a child’s drawing of the monster or ghost or whatever but instead of a little kid and crayons they’re like a preteen and it’s manga style

[breadloco]

stopppp everyone absolutely needs to see this

[jewperduper]

So my dad was the assistant music editor on Tarzan, and idk if it was Bring Your Kid to Work Day or something but one day he did just that so there I was, this incredibly small 1st grader, in an absolutely cavernous recording studio with a full orchestra and a giant screen playing the scene they were taping the score for, and my little brain couldn't handle the big music and the big movie happening all at once so I started crying and it was the first time music ever brought me to tears and it was too much to take in so we stepped out of the studio and ran directly into Phil Collins, who looked to me very much like my dad, and in my delicate emotional state I became immediately convinced that my dad had been copied and nobody had told me so I started crying harder, and Phil Collins said something that was probably meant to be calming but it was with a British accent so I thought there was a copy of my dad in every country and I absolutely lost it at the notion that other kids would get to have my dad, and my dad ended up having to carry me back to the car.

So.

Sorry for crying very loudly at you Phil Collins, your work on Tarzan was so moving it triggered my first emotional breakdown.

[woodrider]

Menthol cigarettes were invented by a man called Spud who was born in Mingo Junction

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

[bannertanks]

[ghosthierophant]

[sndwave]

the mythbusters once tested "herding cats" and at one point they brought in a proper trained herding dog and the poor dogs face when the first cat responds to his herding with swipes and aggression is to look at her human and go 😰 the sheep is broken?? what do i do boss??

[conchobarbarian]

I've been working on a ren faire project and the thing I keep thinking, looking at paintings and reference pictures and sewing trims on etsy, is: god, we used to DO THINGS with fabric. will no one pay me a good salary to soutache my own wardrobe.

[thoodleoo]

really love this ancient letter from a kid named theon to his dad (p. ox. 1 119) because it's so ridiculously salty and rude ("WOW dad it was SO COOL of you NOT to take me to alexandria with you"), incredibly demanding ("bring me with you or i'm going to stop eating and drinking and i'll never speak to you again") and then ends with the appropriately polite typical close to a letter ("i pray that you are in good health"). truly exactly what i would expect from a moody child.

[naamahdarling]

I lost a needle I liked in my pincushion so I decided to get a strong magnet and see if I could pull it back out.

I pulled out 68.

I very rarely sew.

This was my grandmother's pincushion. How many were hers?

[autisticnightfury]

Finding a 68 needles in a haystack pincushion

[naamahdarling]

Where you would expect to find needles!

AND YET.

(I jibbled out some more so we are at 71 and I can feel at least two more in there by sweeping the magnet across. Now hunting for my strongest one.)

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

tomato is perfec t size for put needle inside very soft and comfort needle

[featherwurm]

A friend suggested 'a mimic that eats needles' and I got the most vivid mental picture.

[draconym]

I think it sucks that you have to go to so many different kinds of doctor to take care of yourself. It's the 21st century. I should be able to go to a single office where they scan me with a big xerox machine and tell me what I'm allergic to and why my tummy hurts and if I have any cancer or cavities or if my glasses prescription has changed. And then I should get a sticker.

[sourcreammachine]

[tamamita]

Just coffee

[tamamita]

[penandinkprincess]

my scoop of ice cream flipped and hit the counter, so my solution was picking it up and just eating around the part that touched the counter, and I'm here to report that eating ice cream with your hands while crouched over the sink to catch drips does feel like being a little raccoon

10/10 experience highly recommend

[penandinkprincess]

well that's my plans for tomorrow sorted

[hometoursandotherstuff]

 Z from the 1998 animated film Antz.

[sunfortune]

tony stark is literally a genius

yeah but hes a genius the way jimmy neutron is a genius, you know what i mean? like every jimmy neutron episode he makes some wild shit that no regular person would be able to make but then he fucks up every time bc he just has No Common Sense. that was tony with ultron like yeah he was intelligent enough to make a whole artificial intelligence robot but then the AI robot tries to fucking kill everyone like……………wow you just made me realize age of ultron is literally just an episode of jimmy neutron

[fidelcostco]

the human brain is so cool, if you're tired and stressed enough, your brain will go, "don't worry, I got you" and shadows will start moving

[fidelcostco]

and what's the genital situation on the shadows

[fidelcostco]

oh this is my post

[teaboot]

My problem is that I have a deep admiration and respect for ingenuity, dedication, and commitment to the bit.

Which is ultimately benign, until I am placed in the role of a caregiver or general authority over a person or animal

Because I can't just catch someone in the midst of pulling off a ridiculous, clever, determined and absurd little scheme and just act like I'm not impressed

It wouldn't be honest or fair

And so, it appears that if anything with free will is placed in my care long enough, they invariably learn that if they can get me to laugh without hurting anybody or risking their health then they can pretty much get away with almost anything

Which has resulted in some very funny events

[teaboot]

He tore open a bag of cheetos and hid them somewhere in the apartment so even after I cleaned up the mess and put the bag in the fridge every couple hours I hear a crunching sound and follow it to find him hunched defensively in a corner eating a cheeto