Lol same
we're not kids anymore.
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Product Placement
art blog(derogatory)
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Kaledo Art

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
will byers stan first human second

blake kathryn

Kiana Khansmith
taylor price
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Misplaced Lens Cap
noise dept.
trying on a metaphor

Love Begins
Sweet Seals For You, Always
styofa doing anything
seen from Canada

seen from Germany

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seen from Pakistan
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seen from United States

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@cookejar
Lol same
“Blossoms” by Emma Rose
A classic suggestion from @zerolilow!
She also has some lovely embroidery on her website.
Write a story that starts with emptying the wastebasket in the bathroom.
There’s a quest scroll in the bottom of the trashcan, under the bag, and I pause putting in a new bag as I stare at it. Since it’s being observed, the scroll changes and begins to glow with golden light.
“Congratulations,” a genderless, lightly accented voice says. It doesn’t make sense, but it sounds like it’s coming through the light, echoing and warm. “You’ve been chosen to embark on a magnificent–”
I lunge before it can finish, heart thundering against my ribs, and wrap it in the black trash bag. It’s warm to the touch, even through the plastic, but once I get it properly bundled, I can’t hear or see it which means I’ve managed to contain it.
For now.
I abandon my cleaning cart, shouldering the bathroom door open too quickly. It nearly takes out a high schooler lurking behind it.
“Watch it,” the girl snarls, shaking out the hand that had caught the door before it connected with her face.
“Be grateful,” I tell her, shoving the garbage bag bundle under my shirt. “I’m, like, basically saving your life right now.”
She scrunches her nose. “What?”
I don’t answer, instead hurrying towards the principal’s office. Sometimes the sorcerer or witch or whoever sticks around after planting them and I definitely do not want to run into them.
“Principal Flag!” I skid past the receptionist and kick the door open, arms wrapped around the quest scroll under my shirt. “We’ve got a problem!”
Principal Flag nearly throws her brush across the room at my sudden entrance, a blush rising furiously along her cheekbones. “I told you to knock!” Her horse hindquarters stamp in irritation and she hastily smooths her long, centaur skirt back over them.
“Sorry,” I pant, coming to a stop in front of her desk. “But this can’t wait, we’ve got a problem. I found a–a quest in the girls’ bathroom.”
“It’s actually a gender-neutral bathroom now,” Principal Flag corrects, seemingly on reflex. “The students voted and I think it’s quite wonderfu– did you say you found a quest?” She pales. “Was it–was it activated?”
“No,” I say. I carefully pull the bundle from out under my shirt, dropping it onto her desk. “I’m the first to come in contact. It tried to give me the Chosen One speech.”
Principal Flag’s hands hover over the black plastic. “God, it talked? Did you feel a compulsion? Depending on the strength, we could be facing quite the adversary here.”
“I don’t know.” I pull up the visitor’s chair, legs still shaking. “I’ve already been a Chosen one, you know that, a compulsion wouldn’t work on me.” I shake my head. “We can’t let whoever did this try again. A quest scroll ruined my life, our lives, I don’t want that to happen to a kid.”
“I remember,” Principal Flag says grimly. “I’ll be damned if I let some thousand-year-old warlock make off with one of my students. Not. In. My. School.” She trots around her desk to the cabinet. From there, she removes a black, metal box. “First, we’ll destroy it. It’s times like these that I’m thankful we have so many helicopter parents on the PTA. They practically give us the money for these.”
I watch as she opens the box. Dark, rolling steam pours from it and across the desk. When it touches the trash bag, the air begins to smell of burning plastic. Principal Flag picks it up, wincing as the heating plastic burns her fingers and drops it into the box.
“A CURSE,” the scroll shrieks from inside the box. “YOU HAVE DEFIED THE ANCIENT–”
Principal Flag slams the lid back on, locking the thing down. The thing is still shrieking, but the words are muffle and neither Flag or I are susceptible to half curses. Not since our childhoods.
“It had to be an inside job,” I say after the screams begin to die out. “You’ve got the school locked down and I would have noticed anyone sneaking in.”
“I agree,” Principal Flag says. She’s still glaring at the box, mouth a thin line. She looks back at me, grey eyes sharp. “Whoever planted it is a monster. There’s no way they didn’t mean for a kid to find out.”
“Giving quest scrolls to minors is against the law,” I say. “We could call the police?”
Both Flag and I stare at each other for a long moment. Then we burst into laughter.
“A Successful?” Flag howls. “Oh my god, can you imagine what a Successful would say?”
I wipe tears out of my eyes. Successfuls were people who completed quests, generally the light and fun ones that made good day time drama. “Oh,’” I say in a falsetto, “’I’d have killed to have a scroll as a kid. It’s such an honor. They’re starting off right!”
We laugh more, the sound verging on hysteria. Neither of us had the good fortune to be quested with a return the stone to the mountain scroll. We’d gotten something much, much worse.
“Oh, that’s good,” Flag says, dotting under her eyes with a tissue. She sobers slowly, chuckles dying out. “No, we won’t go to the police. I think that us two Unsuccessfuls will do the job nicely.” She grins and there’s something dark in it, darker than one might expect from a highschool principal.
I know that darkness is reflected right back in my smile. “I’ll get on it.”
There are Successfuls, heroes and martyrs who come back stronger and better after getting a quest scroll.
Then there are Unsuccessfuls like us who, if they come back, come back much, much worse.
someone: omg listen to Kanye’s new al-
me:
my name is BABY and you lean out of your car and spit at my feet it lands in a puddle in front of me and i am thirteen and in a suburban neighborhood on the way home from school and i gag and run with my backpack banging like the echo of your words against my back like you are chasing me all the way home my name is SWEETIE and i am fifteen in the city with my friends for the first time and we get a little lost and you follow us for a full block you name my friends HONEY and DARLING and WHY THE FUCK WON’T YOU TALK TO ME my name is NICE ASS and it’s two in the afternoon and i still feel my heart slam against my ribs because i am under a hundred and fifty pounds and i have weak lungs and weaker fists and while you saunter down the steps, swinging the beer bottle in your fist, my father who is walking behind me shouts, “she’s seventeen, you dipshit” and maybe i’m near my family but i don’t feel safe until we’re home again my name is JAILBAIT and my friend is laughing and we just graduated high school and we feel like we are on the brink of something beautiful and terrifying and she is in heels and about to throw up and you name her DRUNK ENOUGH and i have to physically drag you off and when we go home she cries for four hours because a night that should have been just teenage fun almost resulted in the end of her trust of humans my name is LOOK AT THOSE TITS and we are on a college campus and the boy i am with holds onto my waist just a little tighter while you drive up next to me. you name him THUG and throw a bottle at his forehead. i can’t stop shaking until long after it’s over. he says “it happens,” and i say, “it shouldn’t.” my name is DAMN GIRL and we are walking down the street. there are ten of you and two of us and you snap a picture when you think we’re not looking. you tell us to either come inside or you’ll fuck us on the street. you all laugh like this is funny. this is compliment. this is just something boys do to get ladies. my name is LITTLE LADY, my name is FINE MISS, my name is FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR FRIENDS, my name is LOOK ME IN THE FACE, my name is STOP FROWNING, my name is SMILE, my name is WHY DID YOU EVEN GLANCE AT HIM YOU WERE ASKING FOR IT, my name is THIS IS A COMPLIMENT so i looked it up according to Oxford that’s “a polite expression of praise or admiration” i think you’ve got the definitions mixed up my name is PRETTY THING, my name takes nice words and make them into bullet wounds my name is NICE BODY and no girl i know has dated a man who catcalled her, my name is GREAT RACK and it turns out that if you shout things at a stranger, they sound like knives more than flowers, my name is WOMEN LIKE YOU NEVER KNOW THEIR PLACE and every single “nice” thing you say to a woman is something you’d never utter to another man because you know that it’s derogatory, my name is PRINCESS and A REASON TO GET PUT IN PRISON and if another man spoke to your mother sister girlfriend like that, you’d kill him my name is SEXY and every time i hear someone raising their voice i am thirteen again and i don’t know who you are and i’m running home with a weight on my shoulders and your words like a slap to my spine and your laughter like a hanging, i am scared and alone and suddenly so small, and compliments are supposed to make me feel good not afraid for my life, compliments are a way of saying “i care and i appreciate you and i thought you should know it,” and if you really meant it as a compliment, you’d care about how i would take it - but you don’t mean it like that, you mean it to show off, you mean it to make us object, you mean it to shove our names into your back pocket so you can tell your friends “i saw the HOTTEST LITTLE THING yesterday” and they can groan about how we just walked away because you don’t see us go home with keys in our fists and all the lights on and we keep 911 dialed just in case and we triple-check our locks and we don’t fall asleep at all because your compliment knocked us over and took who we are if we are all saying “it doesn’t sound like a compliment, it sounds like a threat,” if you really wanted to make us feel good - wouldn’t you stop doing it?
COMPLIMENT =/= CATCALL // r.i.d (via inkskinned)
Besides training all the major Greek heroes, Chiron was also a doctor.
That would make him the Centaur for Disease Control.
*sigh*
He was a strong supporter of herd immunity.
a concept: Harry Potter with his mother’s hair and father’s eyes instead of vice versa. Harry with fiery dark red hair and soft hazel eyes please and thank you
i imagine this is how harry and draco’s first meeting would have gone then haha
can you imagine how much more confused arthur would have been in that scene where he first meets harry 😂
his eyes would probably sweep right over harry at the breakfast table, and then he would freeze and have to do a mental tally of his children
I can see Fred and George really going with it too… “Come on Dad, don’t you remember Harry?” “Next you’ll tell us you don’t remember Craig” “Or Ethel” “Or Annie“ “Or Ryan”
I really want this to be a thing
Okay but like…every professor at Hogwarts would have to do the exact same mental math as Arthur, and then realize that he’s Harry freakin’ Potter, and redo their math AGAIN.
Arthur sits down at the table. As he picks up a piece of toast, his eyes sweep the table, ready to greet his family.
“Good morning childr-”.
He stops when he spots a young boy with fiery red hair and fringe. The child is also wearing old clothes that once belonged to Charlie and round glasses on his face. Arthur sees his family looking at each other at the confusion this brings him. Molly speaks up.
“Harry, would you care for more eggs”?
“Yes, please. Thank you”.
Arthur breathes a sigh of relief. No child of his would be so polite. He didn’t forget anyone…this time.
RUCKUS
Thor deserved this song a long time ago, but I’m glad it was Taika who gave it to him.
I especially love how they timed the line “Valhalla I am coming for you” with Valkyrie’s badass entry.
Taika did great with this film. Love his choices of music.
Thor deserved Valkyrie a long time ago, but I’m glad it was Taika who gave her to him.
where does dorian gray buy his clothes?
at forever 21
dorian gray jokes just never get old
get out.
My government teacher: Can anyone tell me who wrote the Federalist Papers?
Me: Alexander joined forces with James Madison and John Jay to write a series of essays entitled the Federalist Papers.
Teacher: Good. Strange wording but-
Me: The plan was to write a total of 25 essays, the work divided equally among the three men.
Teacher: Good, good. Now.
Me: In the end, they wrote 85 essays in the span of 6 months.
Teacher: Okay you can stop now.
Me: John Jay got sick after writing 5.
Teacher: I said stop.
Me: James Madison wrote 29.
Teacher: Okay now-
Me: Hamilton wrote!
Teacher: Sit down!
Me: THE OTHER 51!
Teacher: SHUT UP!!!
All sports are gay and I’ve been preaching this forever
fun fact: the media keeps trying to imply that diego costa (white jersey) bit gareth barry (blue jersey) out of some sort of hetero football-rage during the game but barry insists it wasn’t a bite which is apparently a hard concept for the football association to grasp cause they cant think of any other explaination for the above image lmao
That ain’t no bite
I think my favorite part of this gif is the third guy walking by in the background, who judging by his expression is pretty sure he’s just won the league-wide betting pool on when these dudes will finally break down and admit their love.
romeo and juliet who? west side story who? come thru gareth and diego
Hot and Spicy
Advertising agency Ogilvy Hong Kong has replaced fire in photography—shots of the Space Shuttle, a rocket-powered race car and a group of Power Ranger stand-ins—with KFC spicy fried chicken.
For April Fools’ Day, my local radio station is playing literally nothing but Backstreet Boys’ songs and announcing them as other songs, and I think that’s beautiful.
That’s not a joke that’s a gift
April 1st, the one day A year people treat the stuff they read on the internet with the skepticism it deserves 365 days a year