god i wish i could just say the right thing
Monterey Bay Aquarium

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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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we're not kids anymore.
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JVL

@theartofmadeline
NASA
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Cosmic Funnies
Sweet Seals For You, Always

Janaina Medeiros
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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Fai_Ryy
Today's Document
d e v o n
Jules of Nature
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@cottencandy1616
god i wish i could just say the right thing
could you imagine if my friends found this blog lmao that would actually be really bad lol
tw: self harm
god i want to cut so bad but i don’t have the means to
haha i need to stop triggering myself on purpose
all of my interactions with my friends feel fake
english teachers need to stop asking weird, invasive questions about my life. seriously, plz stop, i am crying
wtf it’s 10 minutes into 2021 and the pandemic isn’t over tf is going on
Reminder that it really doesn’t matter what ways you’re marginalized, if you’re not black you’re just as capable of anti blackness as white cishet people. No amount of “but I’m gay!”, “but I’m trans!”, or “but I’m not white!” changes that.
And being neurodiverse/disabled isn’t an excuse for anti blackness either.
Don’t like this post if you’re not gonna also reblog it.
Boost my voice, don’t just like it for woke points.
I’d fucking love it if white people didn’t use this post to pat themselves on the back. I guarantee that no amount of “don’t people know this already?” or “isn’t this obvious?” will actually make you a good ally to black people.
The only things that will make you a good ally to us is listening to us, boosting our voices, defending us when we need it, calling out your fellow whites when they display overt and/or covert racist behavior, and checking yourself consistently.
4G? More like 4JEsus!
i LOVE when teachers tell you that you always have to “pick a side and stick with it” in your work and then for just one assignment they love the people who chose both!
if one more teacher tries to guilt trip me into talking i’m going to drop out. I fucking hate it here
great, now she’s threatening us with extra work. kill me now.
if one more teacher tries to guilt trip me into talking i’m going to drop out. I fucking hate it here
// Keep abortion safe and legal // Abortion is a human right // Keep your laws and bans off of our bodies // Support your local abortion fund //
hey so protip if you have abusive parents and need to get around the house as quietly as possible, stay close to furniture and other heavy stuff because the floor is settled there and it’s less likely to creak
socks are quieter than bare feet on tile/wood and for the love of god don’t wear slippers/shoes if you can help it
climbing ON the furniture will disrupt the pattern of your footsteps and make it harder to hear where you are in the house
crawling will do the same and if you get caught crawling you can pretend you fell
the floor near the wall can be really loud if the floorboards/carpet is old and not completely flush to the wall
do NOT attempt to use a rolling chair to travel without footsteps. they are extremely loud and hard to steer
Also. Breath with your mouth and not your nose. Your nose will whistle. Trust me. If you need to get into your fridge, jab your finger into the rubber part that seals the door closed and create a tiny airway. This will prevent the suction noise when you open the door. When drinking liquids (juice mostly), pour out your glass (or chug from the jug) and replace what you drank with water. If it was full enough in the beginning, no one will notice. DO NOT STEAL ALCOHOL. THEY WILL NOTICE IF IT’S WATERED DOWN. Bring a pillowcase for dried foods like cereal and granola. It helps to muffle the sound it makes when it pours.
If your house has snack packs (like gummy bears or crackers or chips), count them every day until you know the rhythm that they get consumed. (This took me a week and a half with my twin brother and sister). Then join the rhythm when you make your nightly visits. It will be that much harder to figure out it was you.
KEEP A TRASH BAG UNDER YOUR BED FOR WRAPPERS AND STUFF BUT DONT FORGET TO THROW IT OUT WHENEVER YOU CAN. BUGS YKNOW. Hope this helped.
I might have some useful info to add.
-a jar of peanut butter is long lasting and easy to hide under a bed or in a dresser drawer. I lived off of jars of peanut butter and boxes of saltine crackers I would buy on grocery trips with my mom.
-two words: Slipper Socks. These are the socks that have rubber designs on the bottom for grip. They make no noise, and also keep you steady on slicker surfaces like tile and wood. You can find them cheap at Walmart. They also keep your feet more protected if you’re outside.
-if you’re secure enough in your room to have a small food stash, make sure you’re not too obvious about it (duh) but also move its location every few days. I kept mine in a shoebox under my bed, then switched it to a backpack in my closet, then wedged between my bookshelf and wall, and I would cycle locations until i moved it permanently to a false-bottomed drawer I installed in my dresser when my father was gone for a weekend. I would NEVER put food directly into my stash after taking it. I would keep it in pockets of my clothes and between books until everyone went to sleep, then I’d stock and stow my stash for the next few days.
-get a water bottle with a filter in it. I used to be able to reach my bathroom from my bedroom door down the hall using a huge step or minor jump/leap. If I was afraid of being caught at night, I’d fill up the humidifier tank we kept under our sink while I took a short shower, and would refill my water that way. It might not be the best option, but I kept a small stockade of water under my bed for emergencies.
-if you can, smuggle your garbage out in your backpack or purse. Dispose of it at work/school. I got caught twice by carelessly throwing away packaging.
-if someone knows the situation you’re going through (close friend/partner/etc) see if there’s a way for them to get food or other supplies to you at school or work or what private time you may get. A hidden first aid kit literally saved parts of my body before and I owe it to a close friend.
-try learning the building’s natural rhythm. The house I grew up in would creak and settle heavily every night for 3-5 minutes. That was my shot, and I had to be QUICK. I still got caught a few times, but learning the patterns in our floors and walls, when they creaked, WHERE they creaked, kept me going. Eventually I was sprinting in slipper socks to the kitchen and back in less than 90 seconds.
-if you have stairs, or live upstairs. Sit as you go down them one at a time, or climb up them like an animal. It keeps you low/out of lots of motion sight, and also can reduce noise and creaking by distributing weight over more than 1-2 steps.
-You can use common hand sanitizer to remove the stains certain snack foods leave behind (coughs cheeto fingers) and a dry toothbrush can help scrub the color off your tongue. If you can get powdered toothpaste or toothpaste tabs to keep on hand, it makes a huge difference in sneakiness.
-I don’t recommend going for dried foods like granola or cereal unless you can sneak it to a secure place to get it. It’s too loud, it’s a gamble every time for something with less caloric intake than it’s worth if you get caught. Of course, there are times when that’s the only option!!
-if you’re taking milk, add water, but be SURE to shake/agitate the bottle to distribute the dairy fat with the water. I got into the habit of shaking milk jugs when I started sneaking it, and explained the habit as something I read in an old comic strip my father showed me. (Back when whole milk had a lot more cream fats and they’d separate, so shaking it would redistribute the cream.) I still shake milk jugs to this day.
-if your windows open or don’t have screens, eat leaning out an open window. Any food mess will be lost in the dirt. I was lucky I had bushes and birds outside that would catch my granola bar crumbs before anyone could notice.
-canned goods are tempting, but not worth it. It requires too many tools (can opener/strained sometimes/utensils/some need heat) stick to thinks like various nut butters (sunflower/peanut/almond), crackers, dried fruit, and easy to conceal food bars (nature valley/nutrigrain/etc.) dried ramen packets are good uncooked if you can stand the texture. Apple sauce and pudding cups are also easier to sneak and stash than one might think, and can be eaten with your fingers. The only canned foods I recommend are condensed soups and precooked pasta (spaghetti-o’s). You can easily mix them with a little bit of hot water from the tap and get something more sustaining than a handful of captain Crunch. The cans are cheap, sometimes recyclable, and drinking soup takes way less time than chewing solid food.
-if you menstruate, attempt to stash pads/tampons in a safe location. Sometimes shit happens. Pads can work as bandages in emergency situations. Sometimes shark week comes unexpectedly. If you can sneak a roll of toilet paper or paper towels, these are also life savers.
-plastic utensils from takeout containers can be hidden inside socks and will be worth their weight in gold when you least expect it. I bought myself a tiny plastic bowl from the dollar store and kept cheap trinkets in it on my desk so it didn’t seem like a bowl I was eating out of. You could try this with something like a mason jar, which is also useful for drinking out of or storing water.
-if you’re eating a crunchy or solid food, try soaking it in water. Mushy food can be repulsive in texture, but I could clock the sound of someone eating a nature valley oat bar from like 6 miles away. Dunking it in water (or using a secret bowl+water) can reduce noise, and also eating time since you don’t have to chew as much.
-keep a laundry bar or tide pen on you. Laundry bars are super useful, a little hard to find though. I washed a lot of stains out of my clothes with laundry bars in my bathroom sink as a kid. Not proud if it, but it kept me flying under the radar at school.
-clear rubber bands, plain twine or string, paper clips, and thumb tacks. Indescribably useful. I once rigged a system to open tricky cabinets and get objects from inside using two paper clips and a foot of plain string like a mock lasso system.
-if you’re pulling objects from tall cabinets, use your chest or stomach to cushion them. Let them fall into your torso and then into your hands cradled underneath. Not as loud, not as much grabbing, if someone sees it they can mistake it for it falling on you by the body language.
-get a bandana. Or four. Napkins, bandages, tool, and accessory all in one.
-get a tiny sewing kit. I’m talking 3 needles and a spool of thread tiny. Scissors if you can sneak it. See things into your clothes. Make hidden pockets or compartments. Threadbanger on YouTube did a video a few years ago about sneaking things into music festivals using tiny clothing mods, but they may be useful in sneaking money or medicine.
-on the topic of sneaking money. don’t take bills, take change. If your abusers don’t meticulously count their nickels and pennies, they’re an easy(ish) way to build up a tiny savings pool. I found nickels the least noticed coin I took, even more than pennies, and taking two every few nights from where they’d be tossed on our countertop soon built up to a semi-reliable fund I passed off to someone to get me food for my stash without having to sneak it from the kitchen. As soon as I became “independent” in my food storage, I was subjected to much less scrutiny. I managed to build up a solid 1-2 week ration supply after hoarding change.
-you can tape SD cards to the inside of book dust covers(the part that folds inside the actual cover of the book), if you have a sewing kit or zipper on it inside the stuffing of your pillow (trim a corner, stuff it inside, stitch it closed) or (this is final resort) VERY CAREFULLY remove the covering from your outlet and tape it to the wall stud before replacing the casing. I kept mine inside part of my wooden bed frame that I hollowed out using, you guessed it, take out silverware knives and 4 nights without sleep.
-THE FLOOR IS LAVA WAS KEY TRAINING FOR ME AS A CHILD. I learned to take pillows with me, climb on furniture to disrupt my flow of movement, toss a pillow down, and use that to cushion any rattle our living room could give off as I crept to the kitchen from the side entrance so my mom’s dog wouldn’t bark or alert anyone. I highly suggest crawling around on all fours like some sort of beast to stay out of sight.
-can you run your house blindfolded?? If you can’t. Maybe you should try to learn. I suffered some heavy eye traumas growing up and had a collective 3-4 months just IN THE DARK. Eyes bandaged, left alone. It was terrible, but damn if I couldn’t navigate the whole place silently, without any visual cues. This helps a lot with the whole moving around in the dark thing, too. Listening is obviously key.
-if your parents start getting suspicious, or you’re suspicious they’re getting suspicious, watch out for traps. String on the ground that gets shifted when you walk on it. Baby powder or flour left to track footprints or doors opening/closing. My dad was partial to wrapping a bungee cord around my doorknob and attaching it to the closet across the hallway. I wouldn’t be able to open my door enough to get out, or if I did, I risked ruining the structural integrity of the wrappings he did, and he would notice.
-learn to tie some knots. Strong ones. They’ll come in handy at one point or another.
-remember that you’re not totally alone. There’s people out there for you. Wanting to make everything better. You don’t deserve what’s happening, it isn’t normal, and you will eventually find help. But staying safe is important, and you are important.
It upsets me that people might need to know these but I know it could really help someone by reblogging
ALWAYS REBLOG
Things that have helped me over the years:
•Keeping a $10 bill on the inside of my phone case for emergencies. My mother will search my wallet and bags but has not taken my phone case off when she takes my phone as of yet.
•stashing loose change I find in the soil of my potted plant. Very quiet hiding place for coins. All bills are quickly confiscated but coins I have managed to hold onto this way
•changing food stash locations constantly. A good stash I’ve found is buried in my mice seed mix. Small packages or granola bars can fit in there pretty easily and the wrappers are flushable (I know it’s bad to flush them but my trash is routinely searched)
• always deleting online traces in case of phone/computer search. This includes search history, forbidden apps, messages, pictures, notes, games, etc. I don’t know how many times I have deleted the tumblr app during the day only to re download it late at night to use it. My phone and computer are constantly confiscated and gone through with a fine tooth comb. I delete anything I might possibly get in trouble for after I use it and re download it when I need it again. Don’t delete all your browsing history though, they will notice if it’s suspiciously empty. Fill it with safe and approved stuff and remove anything you might get punished for.
•learning what each and every door in the house sounds like so I know who is where at all times without having to leave the room
•learning where those ‘sweet spots’ are in the house where you can notice anyone coming before they can see you or what you are doing
•always having a pre-approved cover. I use books and preaching videos as covers. I can hide a phone in a book or quickly switch apps to the one playing the video if surprised or discovered.
• always being aware of ‘the trail’. If I tell a friend something who tells their sibling who tells my sibling who tells my mom I get punished so basically tell no one and it won’t come back to bite you. This includes talking about tv shows/movies that are forbidden, forbidden foods/drinks, activities, apps, games, friends, political views, etc. Express an opinion and it’s bound to reach someone you don’t want it to.
•never take from your abuser’s personal stash of food or money. The family pantry is fair game to carefully pilfer from and so is loose change but never take from their personal purse/wallet, fridge, pantry, or stash. They WILL find out.
•beware of traps and manipulation . My mother will leave money and food unattended and wait for it to disappear. She will also act like she wants to do a good thing and help you out but in the end you will pay for it a hundred times over. Avoid this if at all possible.
• NEVER develop a false sense of security. I have made the mistake of not deleting an app (Pinterest) because there had been a few weeks between phone searches and I felt a little safer. I got caught and severely punished. ALWAYS COVER YOUR TRACKS. Don’t get too confident in your methods, eventually they will find something. Make sure it’s something minor.
I just want to point out that when deleting apps, make sure to check that the app store you use doesn’t record what was recently installed. I know that the Google Play Store does this and allows you to delete things from your history, but I don’t know anything about Apple.
Apple does, in the purchased section of an account, so don’t have a false sense of security for apple apps and always try to use websites with no cookies.
Apps for screeensharing to TVs (such as Samsungcast) also have search tools so if you clear your history you can also use that and make sure to clear it. Just don’t play a video or it might end up showing on the TV screen.
I feel so sad that so many of you guys go through this all the time. Rebooting to spread the word.
Stay safe my lovelies
So, so unfortunately important. Reblogging because I would’ve loved to have had seen this growing up - I figured most of it out on my own, of course, but through an amount of trial, error, and traumatic consequences no child should ever have to go through.
-if your bedroom door was anything like mine, there is a large enough gap from the floor to the bottom of the door that anytime I got out of bed or walked around the room, the door would jangle. Try putting a small but heavy object flush against the door.
-bring a large cup to pee in when it is not safe for you to leave your room or space. be sure to sneak it down a drain as soon as possible.
-other foods to stash away include trail mix, breakfast bars, fruits and veggies. a couple slices of bread and cheese aren’t as easily missed either.
-i have had luck taping paper money to the underside of our rug.
-be aware that you will likely carry the weight of this time with you for a long while. most of my nightmares still take place in my childhood home, where i haven’t lived in over five years.
-but above all else, this time won’t last forever. you will make it out. i’ve got faith in you.
Hey @mrsmamarhodey idk if you’ve seen this but it’s good advice? I hate that anyone would have to go through this but I feel it may help Honey? ~ Foxy
Bee I will protect you with everything. ~ A
For all of my kids in unsafe home situations. I love you, be safe.
Also, for those of you in situations where you are not believed: as tempting as it is do NOT try and prove it with your phone. Especially if they search it. Please, please don’t do that. Find another way if you absolutely must prove the mistreatment.
-Avoid plastic and paper. They russle a lot, especially when you’re trying to be quiet. As stated above pillowcases are a godsend.
-If you can access the kitchen during the day (and not get caught doing this) move things you might need, granola on the shelf you can only just barely reach? Pull one bar out and slip it to the lowest shelf in the whole kitchen. Put it somewhere no one will check.
-The bottom of a trash can is NOT a good hiding spot. Tempting I know. I’ve hidden a secret stash under a trash bag. Played it off a few times as being a good kid and taking out the trash. But you would have to be the one to always take it out if you did this. Always. You can’t rely on ‘probablies’.
-Self aid. Go to your school nurse and ask for Band-Aids. School computer lab have alcohol pads so you can clean off the mouse? Take some. They will hurt and burn but a clean wound is so much better than an infected one.
-For those of you with allergies to the Staples (peanut butter, bread, cheese, the like) Beans are your new best friend. They suck but hey, they work.
-AVOID SWEETS. This sucks I know. But sweets leave more behind than a chocolate colored tongue, including a sweetened breath (I got busted so badly once even after scrubbing my tongue.)
And finally,
-Find people you can talk to. My messages are always open, @mrsmamarhodey is here for people as well, and many other blogs will listen. Even if there is nothing else we can do. We will listen. We will believe you. We will be there for you in what ways we can. Please, be safe. Stay alive.
I can’t believe that there are actually kids who are forced to live like this. It makes me so upset. I am now very concerned about the people on this site. Please, all of you, stay safe.
there are things in the list that i personally also have to do, some i don’t have to, and tips i could definitely take for the unknown future. anyways, reblogging this in hopes that it could offer a chance for some of you to stay at least a bit safer. remember, we’re all fighting this together
oh, god.
I know it’s the log-off protest but just before I left the app I saw this.
This was a pretty helpful post, but i do hope none of my followers need this..
can i adopt you guys???? nobody should have to go through this, and it breaks my heart :/
just know that it WILL get better. maybe not now, maybe not for years to come but this will not last forever. ily ♥
I always kept a plastic container with a lid to catch blood or any other fluid when it wasn’t safe to go to the bathroom to properly wash up. I hid it in an old backpack in the closet and cleaned it whenever the coast was clear
Most obvious hiding places are in the closet, under the bed, in the bottom of drawers and under rugs.
You can tape small items such as a metro card, prepaid phone, plastic bag of money, birth control or other medications, etc under a desk or even better: open the top drawer of your dresser and tape the item to the bottom of the dresser top. Make sure you can open and close it securely without jarring the item free.
You can also hide bills in an old DVD case if you are 100% SURE no one will open it.
If you can get your hands on some good concealer, use it to hide scars and bruises. Abusers will try to isolate you even more if you are a walking display of evidence. Don’t give them any excuse to not let you go to school.
On this same note, avoid making drastic changes to your appearance (dramatic change to hair cut/dye, tattoos or piercings or wearing any makeup/accessory/clothing that might be deemed “different” for you) Your abuser may perceive this as you acting out or seeking attention, and they do not want you to receive any kind of attention as it may give you an outlet to expose what is happening at home.
Don’t write things in codes that are obviously codes. Your abuser will not like this if they find it and you will be punished or forced to reveal the code but most likely both. If you can, make a code that would look like something else if found by someone. For example: If hiding say, your email password so you won’t forget, make a list of things beginning with each letter of the password. Draw pictures of your passwords. (Ex. Draw 4 red dogs, your password is RedDog4.)
Evernote is a great way to hide a digital diary/notebook/photos/contacts that you can delete from your device quickly before a phone search. If you fear you wont have time to delete before a search there is an option to hide your private notebooks so that you can only find them by searching their name and load up some class notes so if your abuser asks about the app you can say it’s for school.
This is a bit expensive but if you can manage it use an external hardrive for anything on your computer your abuser wouldn’t approve of, from photos and videos to games to creative and programming software, etc.
I had a friend whose dad didn’t let her talk to boys at all period so if she ever had a group project and the boys would try to text her she assigned them all feminine names in her contact list (Ex Louis became Louise etc) so she could still save their number.
Thank you so much for this.
This doesn’t really match my blog theme but it doesn’t matter. I have some things to add:
To walk completely silently, even barefoot, start on the outside of your foot and roll off your big toe. This takes practice though. Your bare feet will also be quieter if you have calluses on them, so you want to walk barefoot as much as possible.
One thing I did was getting well acquainted with the woods. If I needed to avoid people and couldn’t hide in my room, (the door doesn’t have a lock and the consequences would be SO BAD if I blocked it with something), I grab my bag, and try to avoid them + walk silently as I walked outside and hid deep in the woods where they couldn’t find me.
Never bring your phone (or any electronics) if you choose to escape to a friend’s house/the woods/etc. You don’t know what apps they hid on there, which could track your location.
When in the woods, I would bury my trash so if a family member decides to explore the woods one day/was actively trying to find where I kept hiding, they wouldn’t find traces.
About that bag I mentioned. I risked getting caught for this. I have it in my closet with the other bags so it wasn’t suspicious, but if I got the feeling they were suspicious about me, I hid all the stuff in the bag in different places temporarily. In the bag I keep a bottle of 90% isopropyl alcohol (disinfectant) that my aunt gave me as a joke, a small sewing kit (needle, string, scissors) that I stole the components of from my mom’s room, a knife that I also stole from my mom, and some granola bars.
You can hide things in boxes that appear to be sealed on your shelves. Choose a side, use the corner of your nail, or a small knife if you have one, to slit 3 edges of the plasic on the box on your chosen side. Carefully side the box open so as to not tear the plastic. If there is space, hide your item(s) in the space. If not, take some of the contents out and hide them elsewhere* until you can dispose of them where they won’t find them. Arrange the flap of plastic so it lines up properly (if box is cardboard or similar you can lick the edge of the plastic and place it down, it will stick moderately well and the fact it isn’t in tact will be less noticeable) and put box on shelf so that the cut side is against the back. (I have many time in the past taken a “sealed” box of playing cards and take the right amount of cards out so that after putting whatever I want in, it would weigh the same as a normal box of playing cards. This way if they pulled things off the self, unless they examined the playing card box carefully, it was unlikely that they would notice)
*if you have a coat/jacket with a liner, you can put holes in your pockets and stitch the liner to the jacket at the bottom so things you put in there will be at the bottom and it will seem like your pockets are empty. Don’t put anything bulky or potentially loud in, or your trick will be exposed immediately. Works great for papers though, and it’s one of the only ways to transport plastic wrappers without being loud. Not coins though.
Learn how to remove the screen from your window
Any social media or other restricted thing or anything they could use to stalk me if they found out I had it I use web for, my accounts are under different fake names with different email address I created with different fake names just for them, and my passwords are all long, secure, and MEMORIZED. And I delete my search history of any of those particular things.
I know how to give myself stitches. This has come in handy.
Leather = low grade armor. Wear it whenever you can. Then you can take a punch without it being quite so bad.
There’s a gate at the bottom of the stairs at my house that not only creaks, but the latch is LOUD. I climbed over the railing near the bottom instead, and then walked down the outsides of the last couple of steps.
How to climb over a railing silently: put hands on railing, swing one leg over so you’re sitting as if on a horse, and then carefully slide your already over leg down so it is touching the outside of the step and at the same time you swing your other leg over and carefully place that foot down.
If you close a door while holding the handle turned, like how you would if you were opening it, and use your other hand to guide it so it doesn’t hit the door frame, instead lining it up exactly where the latch needs to go, and then slowly rotate the handle back, it is near silent.
A fluffy sock jammed in the bottom handle-side corner of the door can keep the door from making noise as you walk around your room at night.
Hide things inside your pillows. Not just your pillow cases, but the pillows themselves. A lot of them have zippers where you can access the fluff, and you can hide things in the fluff. Stuffed animals sometimes have this too.
Semi-sheer, loose layers will be a lot less hellish and a lot less suspicious in warm weather but can still hide most older cuts/scars that are starting to become less garishly red.
If you close your eyes for 30 seconds before trying to navigate the dark your eyes will adjust and you will be able to see much better.
To anyone who needs any of the advice above or in similar posts: Good luck, stay safe, and remember that one day this will be over and you will be safe. I know it’s tough but keep going. If you ever need to talk, I’m here.
I absolutely wept when I read this. I remember being a kid and living at home, having to do most of these things to keep myself safe and alive. I’m so sorry that their are so many of you who are going through this. If this is something you’re going through and you just want someone to talk to about it all my inbox is always open. From one survivor to another.
I am so, so sorry.
i know ive reblogged this countless times, but this has some really important additions, please stay safe guys <3
I know this is not ToG related, but, if this can help …
learn to sew,if you can do it well you can open up stuffed animals and fill them with whatever as long as it’s small and not likley to be notice
if you never turn a fan on you can tape ska stuff to the top of it, idk if it will hold if the fan turns on
if you have a trusted friend have them store stuff in their locker/get a lock and put it on an unused locker that way even if they know your locker they can’t get to your stuff
for those who need it
I would hope no one needs to use this but I know there are people that do this for you guys
We got you
Seriously
We’re here for you
Everyone is
For everyone who needs this
Stay safe please
i don’t remember seeing this on the list but during the day i go up and down the stairs and through the house to memorize all the creaky spots so i can avoid them at night
stay safe guys <3
@its-my-mental-breakdown
Thank you darling, I plan on using these tips for my.own hell hole of a house
This is horrible that people have to deal with and also I have a small tip: if your house has a radiator/heater (like mine), time how long it goes on and then when it turns on, RUN and get what you need. I love you all and stay safe!
Sorry for the long ass post but as a child who deals with this, I’ve got a few things to add. -KEEP SOMETHING MINOR THAT YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE. This may seem counterintuitive, but that way if your parents say you’re acting suspicious, you can turn their attention away from something bigger. Additionally, if they catch you nd you have to lie, DON’T go for the classic “I don’t know anything” or “I didn’t do that.” Take the situation and make it a little bit bad but not too much. Example: I had kept scissors in my room for sewing, which I wasn’t supposed to have. So what I did was I said that I had gotten a ponytail holder stuck in my hair and had to cut it out, but that I was scared they would get mad so I hid them. -As for money, I took a pad out of the wrapper and threw it out, and then used the wrapper to hold money and taped it shut. I kept that in my bag, as if it were a pad for emergencies, and they never suspected. -If you’re sneaking into the kitchen, fill up a glass with water and stand there for a few minutes drinking it until you’re sure no one is coming to check on you. That way if they do catch you, you can say you were getting a drink of water.
Sjdvkhfufk this was super helpful thank you to everyone who added to this
if u have a vent on ur wall near the ceiling, u can clean the dust away n store things there
always have an escape route mapped out
always have an escape bag, just in case. mine has an extra phone charger, my wallet, a sewing kit, a re-usable water bottle, extra underwear, toilet paper, headphones, a grocery bag, and a small blanket
if u can, try to get a pair of boots that are good for navigating wooded areas
study foraging. u never know how useful info about toxic and non-toxic plants can be
stay safe out there, babes. hope none of u ever have to use these tips
It hurts to know so many of us have had to use info like this just to survive. I’m by o means a popular blog, but I hope anybody who see’s this will either gain some merit from it or repost it for others to see. It sucks living like this, and it follows you well into your life, but sometimes that’s the reality.
Stay safe everyone. You can do this.
I don’t know WHO needs this right now, but I’m going to reblog this anyway.
Idc that it’s not SdV related.
Hate that this is stuff that people need to know, but it’s important that the people who need this information have it.
Idk if this will work for other people but sometimes I’m able to wrap a blanket around myself and hide stuff under it if my parents are in the way. I use it a lot to sneak food and water upstairs and I can just pass it off as being cold. I’m an absolute freeze baby so they’re not suspicious. Just be sure to make the blanket a semi-common thing, not just when you’re sneaking stuff around.
Oh and you can put things like crackers, pretzels, and cereal in clean socks (or just a small bag if you have one) if you can’t take the whole container. Just make sure to switch the socks around every now and then because crumbs are a bitch.
You can also hide food in bras if you wear them. Mostly granola bars for me. If it sticks out then try wearing baggy clothing over it.
please stay safe, everyone
My parents aren’t abusive, just nosy and controlling but here’s some tips to hide things:
1. If your parents don’t let you lock the door but do knock before they enter, learn to unlock and turn the handle in one motion
2. If you’re texting someone you’re not supposed to, change all of your friend’s contacts to nicknames and add them as a nickname too. Then you can claim that its a different person than it is. This can also be used to distract from your phone by telling funny stories behind nicknames. (For example, i have one contact named 6’ Kermit because he’s 6 feet tall and can do a perfect impression of Kermit the frog)
3. If you have relatives that like to take you shopping, buy a something like fabric in a brown paper bag. First couple layers are all fabric but you can stash food in there and say you just forgot to the fabric away. DO NOT do this with clothes as you’ll be expected to wash them before you put them away and so you cant hide stuff while they’re washing.
4. If you have something that doesn’t crumble or have a wrapper, eat it in bed with a blanket and something like homework next to you. If your parent comes into your room, quickly hide the food under the blanket and sit on it.
5. iPhones have an option to search for contact names. It also lets you search for keywords. If at one house you’re fine and they other you’re not, search keywords and delete individual messages if you’re talking about something you’re not supposed to. (I do this with the word “tumblr” before I go to my mom’s)
6. Solution for small wrappers: say you’re doing n art project about litter and ask around for wrappers. Add wrappers from hidden food to that container and say you got them from people at school if asked.
7. Individual jewelry boxes for rings and necklaces that have little removable cardboard pieces to hold the thing can be used to hide money
8. During christmas if you tend to get monetary gifts, don’t say how much you got unless asked. Put ALL your small gifts back in your stocking and say you’re going to sort them later. You can use this to stash money. I saved over $150 from this over the course of four years. Never hide ALL the money, just some of it. If someone asked and you had to share how much a certain amount was, don’t hide that specific gift. Don’t hide any bills over ten dollars. Except twenties are iffy, if you got eighty dollars in twenties, hide one and let the other sixty be taken.
Keep in mind this is only what has worked for ME. If it seems like it wouldn’t work, don’t risk it. Also keep in mind I have less experience with hiding food since the only time I need it is when I forget to eat since I get in trouble for eating late because my parents are health freaks.
Hey @silkwingfood Could this maybe help your girlfriend?
holy shit it would thank you my friend
also:
- if you need to walk quietly, put your foot down before putting weight on it so it makes less noise
- find shortcuts and use them no matter how small. i’ve managed to go from my room down to the main level and then down to the basement and back again in less than a a minute by climbing or stepping over gates and railings
- practice pulling a straight face quickly. it helps keep control over facial expressions, which usually reveal when you’re lying
- if you need to move heavy objects, pick them up and set them on a rug, towel, blanket, or pillow, and then slide it. it prevents the thump when you set it down, and muffles the inevitable sound of sliding
- if you’re bleeding and can’t access bandaids quickly, paper of any form or tissues help immensely to absorb blood at the very least, and also slow it down
- not all ceilings are like this, but my ceiling has those weird panel things that are usually seen in school ceilings and can be lifted up. it’s not the ideal place to hide things, but it certainly isn’t expected.
- if you’re keeping a secret and they know but they don’t know what the secret is, say a friend’s been having trouble lately and asked you to keep it a secret. this has saved me at least five times
- your abusers may tell you certain things to keep you silent, obedient, or whatever. whatever they tell you, nod and agree and fact check it later
- if they leave for a while, whether it be an hour or several days, do not try to get out then, because there is always the chance they will catch you. instead, use the time to explore parts of the house so you know what makes noise, what leads outside, and what routes leave you as unseen as possible. that way you can prepare to get out and it will be easier
- do not tell anyone unless you know for certain they won’t tell anyone else. if you tell your school, they will most likely call CPS, and you will most likely face the consequences after
- hoard like crazy. mostly the small things, like clothespins, paper clips, thumbtacks, pens, pencils, etc. there are ways to rig systems with them to make things easier. i managed to lock my door (which has no lock) with part of a mechanical pencil, a binder clip, some rubber bands, and maybe six paperclips.
- if you’re looking for a form of self-defense against your abuser, use pens. pens, when stabbed with enough force, can occasionally draw blood, in my experience, especially gel pens.
- if you need to write things down, use a pencil. make sure it touches the paper, but do not press down on it. that way it can be erased efficiently on short notice.
- one of the tips above says that if you can sew, hide things in stuffed animals and pillows. i sometimes do this, but with furniture in my room
- if someone else in the house is a victim of abuse as well, and they’re arguing with the abuser, DO NOT INTERVENE. i know it seems like the right thing to do, but you could make it worse for them and for you. my dad lost his job a few months ago and yelled at my mom about it. i told him to stop because it wasn’t her fault, which only made him yell louder at her and me.
- if your abuser suddenly starts being kind and nice and polite towards you, DO NOT FALL FOR IT. i guarantee they can switch right back to an abusive shithead at any given moment
i really wish people didn’t need this, but they do, and so please everyone stay safe
this is probably a given, but come up with a slightly guilty alibi for everything before you get it/it happens. (for example: homophobic parents, if one of my friends slips up i have plans of which friends/random people at school i can say are queer and how to play that off)
thrift stores don’t usually give an item breakdown through the system or on a receipt, so if they check your receipts after they know you were shopping it might not say everything you got. always double check though! i know my parents have it set up so they can see online where i spent money and how much if i used my card, and they’d get a little suspicious if i never used it. Generally speaking, the smaller the business the better chance of their prices being hidden.
digital programs/apps that check your texts and messages generally can’t read handwriting in a picture, so anything you know will trip the system take a picture of instead and then delete it. Most programs pick up on censorship (eg. f**k, g*y, q*##r) but are less likely to catch it if it’s done with letters (eg. fghk, ghy, qw33r) idk if this applies to all of this type of app or not
have a spare account that is slightly incriminating, but not fully incriminating. like, don’t make any contact between the account they know about and your completely secret one. use another account that they won’t find anything too bad on between them.
A lot of high school drama departments have random storage areas that never get sorted or cleaned, you can likely store a borrowed coat/food/personal care items/etc. there.
most girls will give you a pad, tampon, bobby pin, hair tie, bandaid, or pain killer without giving it a second thought.
i hope and pray that everyone using any of this information on any level, for themselves or others, can find peace and know that it will get better. some day, you will be free.
Try walking heel to toe. Tiptoes does not work, but heel-toe has always worked for me
teachers who don’t answer questions because they’re “not relevant” and “not what i’m asking you to do” when they’re actually crucial to the answer need fuck off. When I ask whether you want me to get to 270 degrees from 90 degrees or you want me to add 270 degrees to 90 degrees and your answer is “i just want you to write the rule” fuck off. The answer literally hinges on the answer to that question fuck off
My music production teacher just said “country, rock, pop” as examples of music styles but I heard it as “country-rock-pop” so I have a new fear now
[REDACTED] (derogatory)