>•< hanhan @cozyhannah - Tumblr Blog

dont know if these are funny or not but at this point i spent to much time on them to not post

#working out my religious trauma through dan and phil #been doing that for over a decade tho so its fine #dan and phil #trying to contribute to this insane week but they exploded my brain

animentality

azdesertwillow

@teh-lazy-potato

teaboot

These is Pokémen

o-lanterns

cmon child safety lid you know it's me

jewish-alluka-deactivated202401

WHAT does this tag mean

starblaster

Richard Nixon once called in staff to help him open an allergy-pill bottle. It was the childproof type of bottle, with instructions saying “Press down while turning.” The cap had teeth marks on it where Nixon had apparently tried to gnaw it open

beesmygod

lmfao what the fuck!

source: richard nixon: a psychobiography

anarchistmemedistro

i can’t find the reblog chain that mentions it but it’s important to me that people know it was richard nixon himself that had signed the legislation requiring child safety lids on pill bottles

Six year old, bouncing up and down with glee as desserts are unpacked: "I'm so appointed!"

Took me a moment to realize she had logically assumed "appointed" must be the opposite of "disappointed" and used it as a synonym for "excited."

official-linguistics-post

official linguistics post

allthingslinguistic

This young girl uses “los,” “las” and the gender-neutral “les” — watch her explain why. —from REMEZCLA on twitter.

jumpingjacktrash

to all the cowards who whine “how will i explain it to my kids??” i say: how about you shut up and let your kids explain it to you.

angelbabyspice

“Ma’am, you don’t have to be a lawyer to defend someone else” wow she snapped

space-knight-dummy

dammnn she really popped off with that last line though

st3vi3charl3s

IN THIS HOUSE WE STAN THIS KID

snuffles005

as someone who studies linguistics, i will never not laugh when someone says “that word doesn’t exist” like, my good bitch. if a word is regularly used by a certain amount of people then it exists. if it has its own grammatical rules then its perfectly valid. it’s part of their lexicon now, sweetie. “It’s a made up word” honey, all words are made up. Linguists didn’t just fucking excavate athens and were like BEHOLD!!! VOCABULARY!! “that word isn’t in the dictionary” dictionaries are not rule books, they’re record books. “Refrigerate” didn’t exist 200 years ago and yet here we are. a language that doesn’t adapt to an ever changing society is bound to be lost because, eventually, it won’t be able to keep up with social progress. you motherfuckers.

ifiinvadelaconiaishallturnyouout

wullshootidunno

Fabian Seacaster after trying out for the Owl Bears freshman year

shiftythrifting

Found at the Rag Machine in Vancouver, Canada.

tiddybearcomfortstrap

Everyone in the notes forgetting about the concept of pregnancy you’re so valid never change

knowyournewmeme

You: *panicking, running for your life through my labyrinth space station*

Me, over intercoms: You have terf bangs

charliekirkassassinationkink

penandinkprincess

parenting commitment level 3000

penandinkprincess

apparently a requirement for working at poison control is a talent for stand-up comedy

starsarefairylightsfornerds

targetedknowledge

alanaisalive

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

iguanamouth

oh shit

throughshadow-to-the-edgeofnight

alanaisalive

As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.