Not Actually A Crab

the fool, big fan of muppets. i have many thoughts and most are not ones that make sense to me. she/her

[crabsdaily]

woe sand animation be upon thee

[fishpondfish]

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

[mousidy]

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

[ninjasmudge]

ive been in here so long........

[muppetshow2026]

when you are eating chips you will often be like well how about one more chip? and then you will eat one more chip and be like well how about one more chip? and what do you think happens after that?

[bewbin]

wait what did nintendo ds stand for? dick sucking??ewwwww. the dsi? dick suck international??? ewwww

[zephyrusphi]

yuo cant say this during plague month

[zephyrusphi]

pride month. pharohs curse got me

[tiktaalic]

I was born in the exact right generation I love being an unmarried woman in my twenties with my own bank account and no children

[tiktaalic]

This getting reblogged with “and my thirties” “and my forties” “and my fifties”

[may-or-may-not-be-me]

[GD: someone slam dunk-ing a basketball.]

[tiktaalic]

jordan . It’s Michael jordan

[nae-nae-supreme]

when someone mentions HOES with ARMPIT HAIR

[jame7t]

its 10 AM on a weekday .

[balaclava-trismegistus]

Isn't there an industrial boiler you're supposed to be maintaining

[nae-nae-supreme]

I must find...the HOES.

,whatever it takes

[kaijuyuri]

star wars fans really just make anything up

[byjove]

I’m not Glup Shitto-ing you. He has a sexstache and everything.

[starwarsheritageposts]

star wars heritage post

[tomthanx]

Happy Pride to Biggs Darklighter

[werewolfoffeverswamp]

my sister and her husband go see new movies a lot and a place near the theater they go to does $5 margaritas on monday so they’ve started doing marg movie mondays where they go see a movie and get a marg but they call the margaritas different things based on what they’re seeing. as far as naming goes “wuthering margs” was a little bit of a miss for me but it was preceded by “margipliers” when we saw iron lung so thats kind of a lot to live up to

[sluttynurse]

me in the not-so-distant future of 2032 taking my beautiful wife out for a walk on a foggy day: damn it's like silent hill up in this bitch! 😂

my wife: fuck you you say that every time it's a little foggy outside. you haven't even played the games. i hate you so much

our clone of former beatles drummer ringo starr who we normally keep locked in our basement but is currently joining us for his allotted 30 minutes of weekly outside time: ringo!

[transgenderization]

hope tumblr lasts another 20 years so i can liveblog my midlife crisis

[spidersinmysoup]

Spiritually my spirit is always smoking a cigarette but physically i am.not because hashatg smoking kills

[catchymemes]

[teaboot]

"she thinks this is bonding behavior" my friend this has BECOME your bonding behaviour

[kabber]

[hollanderthoughts]

"your life is yours to mold" oh nooooooooo oh no oh my god. oh fuck me. no. oh my god. oh im so fucked dude.

[allegedly-human]

nonsense words such as "blorbo" and "skibidi" are outliers and a minuscule minority and thus do not invalidate that statement

[leoae]

let’s be armoured with mama