I do but keep the peace. Put up thy sword, Or manage it to part these men with me.

No title available
occasionally subtle
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

โฃ Chile in a Photography โฃ

titsay
d e v o n
Sade Olutola

shark vs the universe

oozey mess
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Product Placement
cherry valley forever
Sweet Seals For You, Always
will byers stan first human second
Cosmic Funnies
noise dept.

if i look back, i am lost
almost home
Today's Document
seen from United Kingdom

seen from Germany

seen from France

seen from Germany

seen from United Kingdom
seen from Norway
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from Sri Lanka
seen from Brazil

seen from Malaysia
seen from Chile

seen from Malaysia
seen from Tรผrkiye
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom

seen from Singapore
@cremebrulee666
I do but keep the peace. Put up thy sword, Or manage it to part these men with me.
hi!
do you by chance have Legends POV chapter? i havenโt been able to find it anywhere:(
Yep!
Im only allowed 10 pictures per post so Iโm gonna reblog this post with the last two pages
I also have the Fairyloot bonus content for OUABH and the B&N OUABH exclusive posted
Spoilers for the entire Caraval series
idk if you guys know how much i love this series
more than physical โ^. .^โโ
pairing: park jongseong x reader genre: fwb to lovers, fwb!jay, situationship!jay, fluff, romance, angst, smau/one shot, downbad!jay, you fell first he fell harder warnings: kissing, very suggestive, profanity, yn is kinda mean, lots of sexual tension, mentions of having sex but not explicit, 18+ not proofread pls ignore typos if any lol
synopsis: jay thought he was cool just having you as his friend with benefits but he can't stop thinking that your connection is more than physical
แกฃโข.โข๐ญฉโก @pagemiah @jiiyen @jnysaln @xh01bri @rairaiblog @laurradoesloveu @manaah02 @zorange13 @firstclassjaylee @kristynaaah @17ericas @heeseung64 @leipforggy @s1rawb3rry @ddeonuswife @orxngebloods @xylatox @saccharinezennie @izzyy-stuff @yooonjnng
copyright 2025 - present ยฉ hoonieyun all rights reserved all writing here is fiction & not in any association with characters mentioned. if you enjoyed reading this please consider reblogging and following <3
HOW YOU GET THE GIRL โ P.JS
SYNOPSIS: Beach parties are supposedly fun and exciting, arenโt they? Wrong. Experiencing college parties is rare for you, but you decided to give this one a go after your best friendโs constant pleas. Things were alright until everything turned sour when trouble found you and eventually you were roped into a fight alongside the campusโ famous hockey playboy. As if that wasnโt enough, the devil himself conjured up an idea that you found yourself being entangled in. It was all fun and games up until confusion arose, feelings being confessed and played, in the end, Jay had to learn how to get the girl, his girl.
PAIRINGS: ice hockey player!jay x afab!reader
GENRE: strangers to frenemies to lovers, fake dating au, college sports au, romance, fluff, angst, secret pining
WARNING(S): drinking, parties, profanities, slight violence, possessive jay, mentions/hints of cheating, miscommunication, slow burn-ish, a pinch of suggestiveness
WC: 21k
AUTHOR NOTES: yes, the title is based on taylor swift's song, the story is lowkey inspired from it hehe! i also included a scene which was inspired from "sleet kitten" so credits to that ;) PLEASE LEAVE A FEEDBACK! it would mean THE WORLD to me <3 hope you enjoy!
part 2 of 'no competition' series | series masterlist | masterlist
ยฉ jaylver 2023
โWHY AM I HERE?โ
You found yourself asking your best friend, Minji, only after barely ten minutes of setting foot into the party. Look, you didnโt wish to complain, but a beach party basically equaled sand in shoes, which you absolutely hate and despise, yet you were stuck here against your will.
It all started on a random stroll across campus where Minji brought up the night beach party hosted by some rich frat boy, typical. Being the anti-party person you were, you brushed the idea away initially. Hey, staying in bed with a cup of tea was miles better than having sand in your shoes and frat boys trying toย get into your pants, yuck. But eventually, you gave into the idea of relaxing and letting go for once after a horrid chemistry test. How you absolutely regretted that choice now.
โYouโre here to enjoy yourself,โ Minji hissed through her teeth, holding onto your hand as the two of you walked past strangers. โWhatโs wrong with getting free booze and some hot hunky beach boys?โ
โEverything is wrong with that. Their booze sucks and the beach boys hide at night,โ you huffed, hugging your body tight as the wind blew across your face, the smell of sea lingered in the air.
โThere are still some cute guys here,โ Minji kicked at the sand lightly, staring around where people were littered in groups here and there, a small bonfire alighted in the middle of the beach. โThe hockey guys are here,โ she nodded at the loudest bunch in the area.
You knew a part of them since you did occasionally stop by to watch a few major hockey games, but definitely not well enough to pair their names to their faces. You spotted the captain first and the one with freshly dyed white hair, who you recognized was also his usual partner on ice, then there was the player with a really odd number, 99. Was it Jason, James or Jeremy? All you could remember was him being number 99 and having a J name, not to mention, an interesting reputation to his name.
"They're cute, don't you think so?" Minji nudged you and you shrugged.
"Cute but fuckboys, and I need them to step up during major games too,"
"You should ignore the hockey part about them. It'll hurt less when they lose," Minji's head turned and she pointed to another group. "The footballers are there too. Trust me, they're bigger fuckboys,"
"Oh, I can tell," you spotted many of them already having a girl by their sides, whispering and giggling while they poured each other more drinks. "This is why I'd rather go back to the dorms,"
"Maybe, maybe not. Something entertaining will eventually happen at these types of parties,"
"I feel like you'll jinx it,"
Minji threw her hands up in defence, raising her eyebrows and shrugging. "Don't blame me, blame the system,"
"There's no system," you shot back, suddenly feeling the need to walk away for a moment as the beach slowly overwhelmed you. (you hated the beach, can't you already tell?) "I need to stop by the restroom for a while, look after my drink, will you?"
You were practically racing to the nearby restroom, finally escaping the area and being able to breathe freely without drunk college students bumping into you. The restroom was basically just a single cubicle, so you were squeezed tightly and you felt uncomfortable as each second passed. You were praying to God that you get to leave this place pronto.ย
Leaving the cubicle made you feel slightly more grateful about the beach, but upon only a second from exiting, you started hearing shouts coming not far from where you were. At first, you wondered if youโve reached the point of hallucination, but following a few more grunts and yells, you knew you werenโt. Your body tensed immediately considering it's a distance from the main area. What could even be happening here?
You knew this was how horror movies usually start, but your curious mind just had to wander off further into the abyss and bring your leg along, so you chose the stupidest decision and followed the distant commotion.
'I'm not dying tonight. I'm not dying at a beach. I'm going to be fine' were the affirmations you repeated in your head, though you felt quite the opposite of that.
"Fuck you, are you banging my girl?"
That was when you stopped in your tracks completely, thrown absolutely off guard, eyes widened and lips forming into an 'O'. It wasn't a murder case, but from the way the conversation sounded, it was about to be one.
"I didn't bang your girl, who the fuck are you?" Another voice spat back and you inched closer, hiding behind the other cubicle and you peeked your head out, shocked at the sight before you.ย
There was already a small crowd surrounding the commotion, who wouldn't want to miss a free show anyway? But the bigger matter on hand was the centre of attention, the two guys were the campus' well known hockey player and footballer.ย
You recognized the footballer at once, remembering the time where Minji practically shoved his Instagram profile into your face. Yoon Keeho. Star player paired along with his amazing features, he was a popular figure who had a popular girlfriend from the dance team, Karina. They were basically every comics' perfect couple.
Then there was the hockey player, your jaw could only hang lower in plain shock. Mr 99, hockey star and infamous playboy, you knew he was trouble, but this kind of trouble? A little unexpected from him.
"Look man, I know people say I fuck around a lot, but I never fucked her!" It was obvious Mr 99 was starting to get heated, but the footballer was relentless in egging him on.
"Oh fuck off man, I know you did it!"
This back and forth had you rolling your eyes, eventually getting bored from the โno I didn'tโs and โyes you didโs thrown back and forth, so you slowly crept back, trying your best to avoid tripping over rocks and shells.
'Crack'ย
You spoke too soon. Way too soon.
"Hey!"
You took a few cautious steps ahead. Maybe if you just pretend nothing happened and continue walking, it would be fine. Maybe if you walked away, he wouldn't noticeโ
"Hey!"
You squeezed your eyes shut, contemplating between immediate death or a quick dash away, but neither could be decided when the voice kept on calling after you, ruining your patience completely and you whipped around, looking like a deer caught in headlights.ย
"Yes?"
Mr 99 stared back at you, a sinister look in his eyes. From the looks of it, he had something evil brewing in that head of his and soon, you were about to be the victim of his dodgy plan.
What came out of his lips next definitely made you wish you were home instead and simultaneously, wishing you had the freedom to strangle him. This fuckerโ
"That's my girlfriend there, she can vouch for me," you heard him telling Keeho, a smug smile on his face. Girl โฆ friend? Gasps were heard and all eyes were on you in an instance. "Come here, babe, I've been looking for you!"
You blinked, your body absolutely rigid and unmoving as if paralysed. This couldn't be happening, right? Please wake me up from this dream. I'm just hallucinatingโ
"Babe, come on," your brief dissociation had you completely unaware that Mr 99 was now in front of you, dragging you by your wrist towards the scene of commotion.ย
"What are you doing?" You whispered harshly into his ear, making sure it wasn't loud enough for the other couple to realise from a distance away.
"Play along, please, I'll pay you," he pleaded, desperation clear in his voice. Who were you to say no to free cash? Nevertheless, you still hated being the centre of attention, and Mr 99 here was only making matters worse.
"I don't even know you,"
"I'm Jay from literature, so technically now you do. Just help me for a few minutes," he grunted through his gritted teeth, flashing his best version of puppy eyes that failed to execute its purpose.ย
โDo you even know my name?โ you hissed lowly, glaring pointedly at him. He could only sigh in exasperation. He had the audacity to seem annoyed while you were literally the one whoโs getting dragged to her demise.ย
โYouโre Y/N from English literature. We have the same classes and Iโm not a douche for not knowing my classmates, okay?โ you were slightly pleased, but not enough to be someoneโs fake girlfriend for show. Against your free will, you and Jay were finally standing face to face with the couple.ย
"So you're his girlfriend?" Keeho had an eyebrow raised, a sense of accusation and suspicion in his gaze. He was so not buying this.
You glanced at Jay, face twisted in uneasiness, not loving the idea of this, but instead, he shot you an encouraging look which was screaming 'go on, tell him'. "Yโyeah. Girlfriend,"
Keeho was unconvinced and you couldn't blame him, you were doing a shit job at pretending to be someone you weren't. "Where was your boyfriend yesterday at night? Was he out?"
"Heโ" the words got stuck in your throat and Jay raised his eyebrows at you, mouthing some random words you totally couldn't decipher. "He went out on a date with me,"
"To?"
"Baskin Robbins โฆ?"
Keeho remained unamused, his girlfriend holding onto him snickering silently under her breath, and you, on the other hand, got naturally defensive.
"What's wrong with ice cream? At least my man cared enough to bring me out for ice cream dates instead of letting me cheat on him freely. Just saying,"
"What?"
Now it was Keeho and Jay's turn to stare at you with their jaws hung low. Karina's face gradually grew scarlet, her lips twisted into a snarl. "What do you even know about my relationship? Keep out of my business, you bitch,"
"Hey, who the fuck are you to call her a bitch?" Jay stepped in front of you, an arm shielding you and Karina cowered away. Damn, he was good at this.
"Don't talk to her like that, you fuck," Keeho spat at Jay, daringly pushing Jay on the chest and he stumbled slightly into your arms.ย
Jay scoffed, brushing his front and adjusted his shirt, shaking his head a little. "You're such a dick, Yoon Keeho. You're the prime example why I hate footballers,"
"And you hockey players are the reason why you're dragging the school's name to the ground,"
"Save the talk, we literally won the playoffs while you and your team could barely crawl to the topโ"
You gasped, and so did everyone else watching. Keeho had thrown a hard punch across Jay's pretty face, which meant Jay's aggravation unfortunately worked a little too well on the footballer.ย
To your surprise, Jay took the hit better than you'd expected. He did seem taken aback at the start, but then he started laughing instead. Was he secretly psychotic?
You would be lying if you said you weren't shell shocked initially, but after a moment of recovery, you peeked over his shoulder, staring at his face for any obvious bleeding or bruising, unaware of how close your face was to his.
"You okay, big man?"
"Took it like a champ," he muttered back, a smirk pulled at his lips, seeming as though nothing had even happened. "Permission for me to punch him back, girlfriend?"
"He's all yours. Go beat his ass, boyfriend,"
Jay shrugged nonchalantly, rubbing the side of his face roughly and in a flash, he threw a punch back at Keeho and panicked whispers broke out in the crowd.
"Look man, this is a misunderstanding, I totally didn't fuck your girlfriend," Jay panted, his eyes narrowing at Karina.ย
"Don't look at me like that," she snapped back, but her voice wavered, giving away the fact that she was obviously hiding something and was intimidated by the way Jay could see right through her.
"Oh come on, fess up, I'm pretty sure I saw you with Yeonjun,"ย
Karina stilled, her eyes beginning to twitch. Bingo. You didnโt sit through a boring psychology talk once for nothing.
"You don't know shit about me,"
"Okay, say that to Yeonjun the next time he finds you,"ย
Maybe you did regret having too big of a mouth. You just had to blabber on and agitate the mean girl and now you were reenacting a scene from one of your favourite high school rom coms.ย
Before you could even register what's happening, you felt a sharp tug at your hair and pain washed over your whole head. Getting bald wasn't the thing you wished for upon reaching here. You screamed on instinct, reaching over to grab Karina's hair in defence, invoking a loud cry from her.
Jay and Keeho were left stunned at the turn of events. Hell, you were stunned at the attack yourself. Who would've thought you would be sacrificing strands of hair to Miss Dancer? They eventually came to their senses (thank heavens) and tried to pull you and Karina off of each other. It was strenuous work just trying to break you two apart, your hand was unwilling to let go and neither were hers.
She mightโve been a dancer, but youโve experienced more fights than this. Jay managed to rip you off of Karina and you were left dishevelled, heaving heavily, Jay's hands wrapped around your chest from the back.
"Calm down. Breathe. You're so close to ripping all her hair out," he whispered into your ear, his breath fanning your ears. If you weren't so out of breath and adrenaline spiked, you would be weak in the knees by now.ย
"Good. She was the one who laid her hands on me first," you spat, glaring straight at her and she did the same, hair and attire equally as messy as yours.ย
"Look man," Jay called out to Keeho, grabbing his attention away from his murderous girlfriend. "I might fuck around a lot, but I swear I didn't touch your girl. I never stoop that low and you know it. Go ask her for the truth yourself, I'm leaving now,"
Jay got ahold of your hand and pulled you away from the wandering eyes and lingering attention. You almost got a whiplash, unable to even yourself completely together and digest what even went on before he dragged you towards the main area.ย
"Woah, woah, wait," you yanked your arm away, stopping abruptly which made Jay turn around, a questioning look on his face. Why is he looking at me like that? You thought as you crossed your arms.
"Look, you might've saved my ass from Miss Crazy over there, but the part where you dragged me in your stupid drama, so not cool,"ย
"I know, I'm sorry, okay? You were just coincidentally โฆ there,"
"Wow," you exclaimed in disbelief, face scrunched in slight distaste. "Girlfriend, huh โฆ I hate to burst your bubble but there were people there and ifโ" you poked at his chest and he stared at you, a slight smirk on his lips, "โpeople actually believe we're dating, I'll beat you up,"
"What's so wrong about me?" He whistled, leaning down to meet your challenging gaze, a sarcastic grin wide on that devilish face of his. Maybe if he wasn't this annoying, you would've found him pants-dropping hot.
"I hate you," you continued your journey back, brushing past him and he could only let out a laugh at your words.
"Oh, come on," he caught your wrist and pulled you to him, making you land on his chest with a soft thud. If only someone could take a picture of this, it would be something straight out of a 2000s classic romcom.
"You're ridiculous, let go," you tried to get your hand out of his, but he persisted in holding onto you.ย
Pushing and pulling was something you hated. Whether it was in relationships or just whatever this was, you wished it was gone, because in the next second of tug of war, one of you decided to lose balance and fall to ground.
To your biggest nightmare and headache, you ended up lying on top of Mr 99, Jay, the devil in disguise. The beach was already a nightmare for you, but a fucking man under you? You wished you could disappear now.
"Do you always like this position?"ย
"If only I could choke you to death in it, then sure,"
"Kinky. You're really romantic,"
"I know," you gritted out, finally mustering all your energy to push yourself up and away from Jay, almost losing your balance in the process. You definitely wouldn't want to fall on him again.
You dusted sand off of your shorts, peeking slightly at Jay, who remained on the ground, his hands behind his head to support him as his stare remained on you, a small smile on his face. You truly wondered what was running through that head of his. Knowing him, it was probably nothing good.
โDo you think weโll meet again after this?โ
You scoffed, a frown etched on your features. โYouโre acting like Iโm cinderella. Iโm on the campus,โ
โI mean, we both might be on campus, but that doesnโt mean weโll cross path,โ
โIt sounds like youโre trying to propose somethingโโ Jay opened his mouth to respond, but you continued off, not letting him interrupt, โโwhatever it is, itโs a โnoโ from me, okay?โ
โAlright, rude,โ Jay pushed his body up from the sands, sitting cross legged paired with an offended look. โIโm not trying to propose anything. Whatโs that dirty mind of yours thinking? I was simply wondering,โ
You squinted at him, doubt in your gaze and your face scrunched, humming softly. โLetโs leave our next meeting to fate again. Iโm afraid if I keep seeing you I mightโโ
โFall in love?โ
โExplode. Close enough,โ you grimaced, shaking the sand off your shoes. "Look, I'm leaving now. Good luck on not getting beat up again," you turned to leave, but halting once Jay spoke again.
"Will I be seeing you at my matches?"
You pondered for a second, then shrugged. "Depends. I'm not a big hockey fan, but who knows?"
You heard a small chuckle from Jay, rolling your eyes a little. "Fine by me. Let's see how fate sets us up then, Y/N."
You wished fate didn't set you and him up. You wished fate would never ever do so. You didnโt wait for another minute and quickly dashed away, finding your way back to the main area that (thankfully) wasnโt far from where you were. It seemed that the fight didnโt reach the main area where everyone was from the way they were all dancing and drinking like normal.
โWhere were you?โ Minji pulled you close to her once you had managed to locate her amongst the bunch, concern laced in her voice. โAnd what the fuck happened to you? Whyโs your hair messed up? Waitโโ the worry in her gaze soon turned into suspicion. โYou didnโt have a secret hookup right?โ
โWhat? No!โ you shrieked, glancing around in slight embarrassment at your voice rising unintentionally. Just thinking about what had happened just now gave you a first degree burn of embarrassment, it was going to be your first and last experience, never again. โI โฆ got into a fight,โ
โYou what?โ
โListen,โ you placed a hand on Minjiโs shoulder, trying to calm her down while inching closer and making sure to keep your voice down. โI stumbled upon a messy couple related drama and somehow I got roped into it. Itโs all Jong Seongโs fault, okay?โ
โJay? What did he do?โ
โAccused of fucking Keehoโs girl. It would be funny to witness the whole thing without being apart of it, honestly,โ
โI need more context,โ
โHe called me his girlfriend so that I could vouch for him and I said something bad to Keehoโs girlfriend so we โฆ kinda got into a tussle,โ
Minji was stunned to say the least, but there was still a hint of amusement from the way she smiled.ย โI wonโt directly say she deserves it, but she does,โ she let out a small laugh and you two shared a look before bursting out laughing, having to hold your chest from the random jokes she threw in between.
โSo, time for us to leave?โ
โFucking finally, I was waiting for you to say this,โ
โNo girls trips to the beach in the future, huh?โ
โNope.โ you mumbled, letting Minji wrap an arm around your waist as the both of you start making your way to Minjiโs car. You strangely felt a pair of wandering eyes pinpointed on you and you turned your head slightly to the right, meeting Jayโs playful gaze among his group of hockey guys. It was barely a second before you were dragged away anyway, leaving you minimal chances to process anything.
Park Jong Seong, please donโt ever drag me into your schemes ever again. Fuck it, letโs never cross paths again.
IT SEEMS THAT FATE HAS PLAYED ITS ROLE ONCE MORE IN TORTURING YOU.
In what way was โnever getting involved with Park Jong Seongโ so hard to understand, huh, fate? You found yourself having an angry internal monologue on the way back to your dorms, your coffee threatening to spill out of the cup with the aggressiveness in your walk. It all started out like this: you just got your donut for the morning, walking to lecture with your earphones blasting your favourite music, what could possibly go wrong? Everything.
You were just walking as per usual, until a girl tapped you from the back, and like every normal person does, you stopped and turned around, a confused look on your face. Whoโs this? You wondered. Thatโs the last thought you could form before everything started crumbling eventually.
First, she asked whether you were dating Jay. Eye roll. You knew this was bound to happen. So, you said โnoโ, which was a reasonable answer since you were, in fact, not dating him. But the girl thought otherwise. You turned to leave, halfway to shoving back your earphones in when she grabbed hold of your wrist. Woah.ย
โI know youโre dating him, everyone do after he made yโall official during that party,โ
โOkayโฆ?โ it was no use trying to fight back with her persistence, so you just went along with it, not knowing what you were even getting into.
โYou do know he fucked me before rightโ?โ TMI much. โCan you tell him to come over and get his stuff? It feels wrong having a manโs stuff around knowing heโs in a relationship,โ
โOh,โ was all you could muster out. This whirlwind of information being smacked into your face at 10 in the morning was something you hadnโt expected. โYou can tell him that yourself. Iโm โฆ busy. I have to go,โ
Like any sane person would, you dashed away, possibly leaving the girl in a confused daze but you couldnโt care less, pulling out your phone to angrily type Jayโs Instagram handle and sending him an annoyed text message.
you: a girl just told me she fucked you and she felt it was wrong that you left your stuff while youโre โdatingโ me. can you please sort this out? istg iโve been asked too many times whether iโm dating you today fr
Not even after a minute of sending that, Jay replied back at once.ย
jaypjs: how did you know what my Insta profile is?
You rolled your eyes, your fingers working hard but careful to not accidentally break your screen with the vigour you had whilst typing.
you: is that so important right now? can you at least answer my question?
jaypjs: just ignore it, itโll pass soon, i swear. ttyl i have practice ;)ย
Jerk.ย
As much as Jay had asked you to ignore it, it seemed to have backfired instead. At the library, cafeteria, girlโs restroom, you were bombarded with the same question over and over again. โAre you dating Jay?โ You swore if you had a dollar everytime someone had asked you this question, you wouldโve been a billionaire by now.
Evening soon fell upon the campus grounds, students were rushing around to find a place for dinner, but the hockey team were still remained in training, and being you, you just had to impulsively barge into the arena, practically rushing down the stairs to the glass panes, spotting your target at first glance.ย
You would be lying if you said you didnโt find him mesmerizingly attractive in that split moment. He reminded you of someone that had just appeared straight out of a scene from โTop Gunโ, except on ice. He had his helmet in his hand, his hair wet with sweat, his eyes trained on his coach as he lectured the team on that and this.
You thought your staring had gone unnoticed, but thatโs when one of his teammates pointed at you, his gaze turning to you now, a hint of curiosity and surprise in his face. If only he knew you were actually there to murder him.
โY/N?โ You heard his muffled voice through the glass as he skated towards you right after his coach had dismissed them, inching closer and closer until there was barely any distance, only a singular glass pane separating you two apart.
โJay,โ you started, pushing down whatever volcano that was close to bursting inside you right now.ย
โDid my girlfriend miss me so much until she decided to give me a surprise visit?โ
โIf I hear that word one more time today, I think I might jump down the nearest building,โ you snapped, poking a finger on the glass threateningly. โLook, Iโm here because we need to talkโwhy does this sound like an actual couple conversationโwhatever, just get your ass out here immediately,โ
โFine, fine,โ Jay threw his hands up in defeat, sensing the seriousness in your voice, you did not come to play. โIโll be out in a second,โ
He disappeared out of sight, and to your dismay, that left his teammates a great opportunity to approach you. Just your luck, huh?
โYouโre dating Jay?โ the captain, Heeseung, shouted over at you, waving his hockey stick in the air in an attempt to grab your attention.
โItโs complicated,โ
โFriends with benefits?โ the one with a head of freshly dyed white hair, Sunghoon, chimed in. You recognized the both of them from the party, what are the odds?
โNon-physical type of complicated,โ
โThat does sound complicated,โ Heeseung hummed, practising passes with Sunghoon. โPlayed with your feelings?โ
โI donโt know if I can count it as thatโฆyet,โ
Heeseung and Sunghoon shared a brief glance at one another. โJay might be a playboy, we all know that, but heโs a softie at heart. Hear him out, he might not look like it, but heโs the best at talking,โ
โThatโs why heโs so good at picking up girlsโโ Heeseung slapped Sunghoonโs head, giving you a small reassuring smile while the other winced in pain, not appreciating that one bit.
โIโll hear him out, donโt worry,โ you said rather begrudgingly, sitting down on one of the empty seats now, rubbing your hands for warmth as you awkwardly waited for Jay.
โStop pestering her already, damn,โ Jayโs footsteps were heard thumping down the stairs in the empty arena. โGo wash up,โ he slid into the seat next to you, now in clean clothes, a towel hung around his neck, his hair wet and messy, his shirt hugging his body and biceps tight. Lord, give me strength.
โHey! Iโm the captain!โ Heeseung shouted, but abided, pushing Sunghoon along and out of the rink, leaving you two to yourselves in the ambiance.
โSo, what did you want to โฆ talk about?โ Jay stared at you expectantly.
โUs? I suppose, if thereโs even an โusโ in the first place,โ you gestured between you and him. โItโs just everyoneโs thinking weโre together and all your past fuck buddies are up my ass for it. Soโโ you tried to put on the nicest smile you could muster. โโcould you please, somehow spread it around that weโre not together?โ
โBut what if I donโt want to?โ
โJong Seong!โ
โGovernment name and all, itโs serious,โ he murmured under his breath, suddenly seeming anxious. โYouโre going to kill me for thisโโ
โAs if Iโm not going to already,โ
โLet me finish,โ he pressed a hand on his forehead, running it further back into his hair and he let out a distress sigh. โI know youโre going to hate this but I need your favour in this. I have this hockey event next Saturday, a charity event, and I need a plus one,โ
โYouโre asking me out on a date basically?โ
โKinda? But not reallyโthis is so stupidโbut this event will be after a home match, so our opponents and many others from different schools will be a part of this event. The thing isโฆour opponent, one of their players, is dating my ex,โ
โAnd?โ you raised an eyebrow at him, urging him to continue on, his cheeks gradually turning red in embarrassment.
โTheyโll be there together, and I was hopingโsince weโre already in this messโto bring you as my plus one, to try and prove to her Iโm way better off without her,โ
โYouโre kidding,โ you breathed out in disbelief. โGive me one reason why you need to prove to this girl about you being happy and taken,โ
โShe cheated on me multiple times while we were datingโฆthe guy was one of them and theyโre still together surprisingly,โ
โDamn, Iโm sorry about that,โ you swallowed, a little taken aback from the fact that the infamous fuckboy had his heart broken in the past. Maybe that was the starting point of his fuckboy journey. Gosh, everything felt so cliche, you thought you were in a web series by now. โSoโฆyou want me to fake date you?โ
โWhy are you saying it as if the idea of dating me is an offence?โ
โJay, this isnโt some 2000s romcom, for fuckโs sake,โ you snapped, your frown deepened and your blood pressure heightened. You swear you might actually explode soon.
โIโm aware,โ Jay sighed, a small whine in his voice. He did seem desperate, and you wondered why out of a hundred girls that were practically lining up for this man, you just had to be the one that had to be a part of this mess with him. Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Worst of all, you were about to agree to something as dumb as this. โHelp me out this once?โ
โAnd what will I get from this?โ you crossed your arms, hesitatingly giving in slowly and gradually.
โYou like Juyeon donโt you?โ Jay questioned all of a sudden, his features remained stoic and serious as he watched you experiencing another whiplash, cheeks turning into a shade of light pink at his bombarding question.
โWโwhere did you get that information from?โ you demanded, completely thrown off. Look, you did say you liked him a little from his sweet smile to his nice style, and not to mention, his athletic side, but it was to Minji, not Jay. How in hell could he have this information?
โIโm not wrong am I?โ
โAm I being blackmailed?โ you gasped and Jay rolled his eyes, leaning further back into his seat. He wasnโt making this easier by looking good. โI donโt like like him in that type of way, I just think heโs kinda cute,โ
โSo, youโre interested,โ
โYou could put it that way, I guess?โ
โHow about I help you make him jealous,โย
You choked out a laugh, Jay surely succeeded in always surprisingly you with the way his mind turned. โDude, I literally only know him from that one Chemistry class, and we were partners once. We barely talk now except some greetings,โ
โThatโs better than nothing,โ he mumbled, his lips pressed in a flat line. โHey, I know him more, okay? He goes to parties and so do I, I can help you get closer to him,โ Jay raised his eyebrows, as if trying to convince you that was the smartest plan ever.
โYouโre an idiot,โ
โI donโt hear a โnoโ,โย
โDonโt push your luck,โ you poked his forehead gently, letting out a deep sigh as you contemplated for a second. Future you was going to kill the present you. โFine. But honestly, I donโt care about Juyeon,โ
โIโll try my best to repay you either way,โ Jay beamed, his whole demeanour changing entirely compared to the nervous and shaking version from earlier. โSo, what ground rules should we set to make it at least quite convincing?โ
โNo kissing, unless we are pressured into one,โ
โYouโre not completely objecting the idea of kissing me,โ
โBelieve me, Iโd rather have virgin lips than kiss you,โ
โOuch,โ Jay held onto his chest, feigning hurt. โWanna try practising?โ
โYou have other girls to practise on anyway, no thank you,โ
โBut youโre my only girl now,โ he shrugged, staring down at his fingers and avoiding your stare. Was he shy? You would be lying if you said he didnโt make your heart flutter slightly with his words, but you forced yourself to push those thoughts down, denying them instantly.
"Shush," you rolled your eyes, the man opposite you snickering instead. "Maybe a soft launch might work,"
"I literally called you my girlfriend in the middle of a fight, I don't think that's any part of a soft launch,"
"You're right, we've already skipped that part," you tapped at your chin, pondering thoughtfully before Jay interjected.
"You have to come to my matches,"
"Every one of them? I don't watch hockey much,"
"Just be there for show, most of the teammates' girlfriends are there and trust me, they don't care much either," he glanced over at the rink for a brief moment, then turned back to meet your eyes. "You'll fall in love with me the moment you watch me play,"
"Alright, hotshot. When's the next match?"
โThis Friday,โ he winked, resting an arm on the seat and casually leaning a little closer. โBut before that, wanna come to a party? Itโs pretty much a โpregame partyโ, thatโs what they call it, but Iโm sure itโs a lame excuse to just have a party in general for every week. I can pick you up though, we'll get to have our second hard launch,โ
โYouโre lucky Iโm not feeling murderous anymore,โ you snapped back, still in disbelief at yourself that you actually agreed to all this. โPick me up at 7,โ you mumbled begrudgingly, watching a smile stretched on Jayโs face.
โSay less.โ
โYOUโRE DATING WHOโโ
Spilling the tea to Minji on a random Wednesday morning was a chaotic decision. You couldn't help yourself from letting loose all of the information that was bottled up internally. She took everything in rather calmly and fairly, that was until Jay's name was mentioned.
It was just a day before the party, and you couldn't lie, you're starting to panic. What if you didn't know anyone there? What if you're under dressed? What if you're overdressed? What ifs stormed your mind, you were a natural overthinker after all.
"Fake dating," you corrected, cringing once the words left your mouth and you realised how ridiculous it sounded.
โI didnโt know you liked Wattpad cliches so much,โ
"Shut up," you muttered half-heartedly, pursing your lips slightly. "Do you think I'll regret this?"
"Will you end up falling for him?" Minji shot back and you hadn't expected that.ย
"God forbid," you chuckled, though rather nervously. Chances were low at the moment, but it wasn't completely impossible, and that was the problem.ย
โThis wonโt be like those movies where they pretend to date and actually end up falling in love,โ you laughed, trying to play off the hidden horror you had.
"This will come back and bite your ass," Minji said simply, not noticing your wide eyes and panicked gaze.
"Don't jinx it, hello!"ย
"My bad," Minji shrugged nonchalantly. โHow did he even convince a non party goer like you to attend one?โ
โHe wants to โhard launchโ us for a second time,โ
โCute?โ Minji mused, nudging you softly, wiggling her eyebrows. "Any outfits planned?"ย
"Nope," you regretted saying this because in the next second, you noticed a menacing grin on Minji's face. If there's one thing you know about her, it's that she loves dress ups, and you were about to be her next model.
Minji dragged you back to your dorm, pushing you onto the bed and ripping your closet doors open, rummaging through intensely.
"This won't do," you heard her mumble quietly before pulling out a mini skirt and a simple crop top. "Bingo,"
"You can't be serious,"ย
Turns out, she was. Both of the pieces have yet to be worn in a long time, so you didnโt know how it would fit you, leading up to the moment when you tried it on, you instantly felt your head pound. The skirt was God forbiddingly short, the crop top hugging tight against your body. The entirety might've looked plain, but it was a slutty plain.
You were already running late, panic and stress in your system giving you slight adrenaline as you finished up some last touches on your makeup. If Minji wasn't out for a dinner date, you would've been strangling her for the outfit and for the untimely lack of support.ย
โYou took quite a while in there,โ Jay said the moment you entered his luxurious sleek black Mercedes. You knew he was loaded, everyone did actually, but it still managed to shock you somehow.
โI was giving myself a pep talk to not try and run away from this party,โ you flashed him a sarcastic smile.ย
โHaha,โ Jay replied flatly, unamused. โItโll be an easy party, donโt worry, you wonโt get mauled. Iโll just introduce you around and then you go have some drinks, soon weโll be back before you know it,โ
โYouโre not drinking right?โ
โYou think Iโd like to be charged with a DUI?โ
โHave you ever thought about that when you drive multiple girls home after parties?โ
โItโs not nice to slut shame,โ
โWhatever you say.โ
The car ride to the house was quick and loud. It was calming when you and Jay were vibing to some music along the way up until the two of you started fighting over who was the best rapper in the industry, that eventually led to debating which genre is the greatest. The debate continued on even after entering the threshold, but nervousness washed over you once you were met with unfamiliar faces.ย
โPop is not even considered in this debโโ
โJay, hold my hand,โ
โWhatโโ
โHold my hand,โ you repeated firmly, and he listened despite being in a daze, intertwining his hand in yours, instinctively pulling you closer. โWe have to make this convincing, remember?โ
โRight,โ he squeezed your hand lightly, unknowingly giving you a hint of reassurance. โStick by me, some of the people here are not the best,โ
โThanks, I canโt wait to get out of here,โ
Jay only rolled his eyes at your words, a slight grin tugged at his lips. He held onto your hand tightly, pulling you further into the crowded house, occasionally turning his head back to check on you. โThere, my hockey boys,โ he nodded towards a small group by a small makeshift bar, instantly recognizing them from that day at the rink.
โWhat if I told you now that I have social anxiety,โ you whispered into his ears, trying to give him your best pleading eyes.ย
โItโll be a little too late now,โ he returned a knowing stare, clearly unfazed by your tricks. Smart bastard. โCome on, youโve already met them anyway,โ
โY/N!โ Heeseung was the one who spotted you first, waving his hand enthusiastically, Sunghoon following suit. You returned a small wave, but you tensed, feeling Jay removing his hand from yours, sneaking onto your waist instead. You were not strong enough for this, you were a woman with desires at the end of the day.
โHey,โ Jay greeted them, resting his hand on your hip, your hand unconsciously travelling to his back, his smirk at your touch going unnoticed.
โSo, Y/N, is he still in โcomplicatedโ status?โ Sunghoon brought up, eliciting a small laugh from Heeseung, meanwhile Jay was equally confused and unimpressed at his teammatesโ unseriousness.
โDonโt worry, he has upgraded,โ you prodded him, passing a pleased smile to the other two.
โWill we be seeing you at our games?โ
โMaybe,โ you said vaguely, feeling Jayโs hand leaving your hips and sneaking lower towards the hem of your skirt and slowly pulling at it. You turned your head, meeting his eyes and at that moment, you felt something you denied over the last week. You were weak, you were definitely not Godโs strongest soldier. It was bare minimum, but you still appreciated the little things.ย
โLetโs go walk around,โ Jay suggested, leaning close to you, his face only inches away from yours, his hand squeezing your hip gently. Who knew he was this good at acting?
โDonโt be too protective over her, Jay boy!โ Sunghoon called out as he dragged you away from his friends, earning a soft laugh from you and grudging mumbles from him.ย
โThey tend to be quite a handful sometimes, sorry about that,โ Jay said apologetically, leading you to a room full of people playing beer pong and some other drinking games.ย
โDonโt worry about it, they seem fine,โ you brushed him off, pressing yourself closer to his side in caution as your eyes scanned the whole room. โThey donโt look like they believe the fact that youโre actually โdatingโ someone though,โ
โThey once said they would be married by the time I found someone,โ he scoffed, pulling you into an unoccupied coach. โWhich isnโt true,โ he continued, placing a pillow on your exposed thighs. โI just havenโt found the one, or just not yet. Maybe I already did and I just didnโt know, โ
โTake it easy, loverboy,โ you softly punched his shoulder, making him grin a little. He was cute, you couldnโt lie about that, but your heart continued to. โYouโre still young, you should be worrying about it only if youโre 35 and single,โ
โYouโre right,โ he nodded solemnly, his attention averted away. "It's Juyeon,"ย
At that moment, Juyeon walked into the room, greeting some of his friends and welcoming hugs from them, the atmosphere in the room became noisier. Your gaze followed his figure, blinking quicker than usual as you suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of alarm.
"Don't drool," Jay clicked his tongue, his eyes turning fierce. What's up with this guy now?
"I'm not," you gritted out, your heart dropping slightly at the sight of Juyeon interacting with other girls. You were lying when you said you didn't care, maybe you did.
"I don't get why you like him anyway, he's a jock, a football jock," he said the last part in distaste, making it seem as though footballers were the worst on earth.
"It's called being interested, dumbass. Having someone to admire makes college life fun," you fought back, caving into Jay's touch when he draped his arm over your waist. You shouldn't be liking this skinship. You mustn't.
"He's coming over, he spotted us," Jay mumbled, flashing his smile at Juyeon's approaching figure. "Act natural,"
"Thanks for the advice," you gritted out dryly, shifting around uncomfortably.
"Yo Jay," Juyeon called out to Jay, dabbing your supposed boyfriend up, a friendly smile on his face that blinded your vision and made your heart eyes appear. Fuck.
"Sup," Jay greeted back, breathing out a quiet laugh. โOh, this isโโ
โY/N,โ Juyeon finished Jayโs sentence at once, his gaze shifted onto you now, causing you to shy under his stare. โPartner from Chemistry?โ
โThatโs me,โ you beamed at him, clapping your hands together, absentmindedly leaning further into Jayโs hold.ย
โI donโt normally see you at these type of parties,โ
โNot a big party person,โ you scratched the back of your neck, the feeling of awkwardness creeping up on you. You were never the best at meeting new people, though Juyeon wasnโt exactly a total stranger, but he wasnโt someone you were close to either.ย
โRight,โ he paused for a moment, peering back and forth between you and Jay, a slight raise of his eyebrow. โSo what brings the two of you here? Youโre Jayโs date for the night?โ
โSheโs Jayโs girlfriend, actually,โ the man himself spoke beside you, his hand on your waist pulling you closer to his side, a tight smile on his face. "My girlfriend,"
You could feel heat crawling up the back of your neck, choosing to avert your attention away and see what Juyeonโs reaction was. Turns out he was grinning, he was fucking grinning?ย
โJay with a girlfriend? For real?โ
Jay let out a scoff, seemingly offended by everyoneโs surprise. Hell, if you didnโt know him and found out he had a girlfriend, youโll be surprised too. โYes, dickhead, surprise,โ he grumbled, earning a chuckle from the footballer, who clearly loved irking Jay.
โChill, good for you, man. About time,โ he lightly slapped Jayโs shoulder and you sat quietly, not knowing what to say either. You really wanted to leave. โIโll be at tomorrowโs match, see you,โ
โYeah, yeah, bye,โ Jay bid a half-assed goodbye to Juyeon while you just waved at him instead, a tight lipped smile on your face. Once he was out of the picture, your head whipped to stare at the hockey player next to you, an impatient plea to leave this party written all over your features.
โFine,โ he sighed, letting you slip your hand in his. โHow was all that?โ he asked coolly, but you noticed a hint of displeasure in his tone, yet you waved it off again.
โI donโt know, heโs โฆ okay, I guess,โ you shrugged, truly confused about your current feelings. The thought of Jay stormed your mind. Juyeon? Thatโs the last J name of your concerns right now. But will you ever admit out loud that you were thinking about Jay, the man who constantly gives you headaches? Fuck no.
โJust โokayโ?โ
You hummed in response, sensing that he was a little bit more at ease after hearing your answer. He was easy to read, too easy.
โDoes that make me better than him?โ
โWoah, donโt get too ahead of yourself, Park,โ
โDonโt hurt my ego like that,โ
โAm not,โ
โCome on, say Iโm better, hotter and funnier than him,โ he egged on, inching closer to you, a teasing grin stretched on that stupid face of his.ย
โZipping my mouth shut,โ you gestured at your lips, deadpanning at him.
โYouโre too afraid to admit it,โ
โWhatever you say, big head,โ you bumped his shoulder and he stumbled a little, narrowing his eyes at you, a challenging smirk plastered on his face. Oh no.
In the next minute, Jay swept you off your feet and threw you over his shoulder. You let out a sharp yelp, unable to process everything at once, hearing Jayโs playful laugh fill the streets in the quietness of the night.ย
โYouโre so dead,โ you seethed, hitting his back with your utmost might, but he only cackled in response.
โWhatever you say, pea brain,โ Jay mocked, earning him another hard punch on his back and this time, it actually made him wince. Choosing the safest route for himself, he kept his mouth shut.
Thus, you had no choice but to give into hanging over a hockey boyโs shoulder as the two of you ventured into the night in search of his car, not realising the mess youโll be facing soon.
ITโS OFFICIAL. YOU'VE REACHED THE STAGE OF REGRET.
It was the next day, hockey game day, you turned up at the arena and copped a good seat. You might be wondering, โwhatโs so bad about a hockey game to the point you start regretting everythingโ, well if you could trade places with anybody in the world right now, you would, and that said a lot.ย
Jay had greeted you for barely five minutes before the game, rushing away immediately once he saw the time, giving you an apologetic hug that almost had you convinced this was real. What he hadnโt prepared you earlier, was the fact that there was a fucking kiss cam. One look at the jumbotron and you knew you were doomed.
โKISS CAMโ was written clearly on the screen, the music in the arena was drowned out completely and you felt your heart drop. It mightโve seemed overdramatic for you to react like this, but in reality, kissing a stranger was terrifying. Your first kiss was already a nightmare, let alone kissing someone you donโt know, what would make it better?
โNothing will happen,โ you assured yourself over and over again, unaware that somebody had just slipped in the seat beside you.
โHey,โย
You flinched, brought out of your daze and you met Juyeonโs eyes. Good-fucking-bye to the world right now. His smile distracted you, having you muted and malfunctioning. Cool. This was cool. Youโre cool.ย
โHi,โ you gave him a small smile that turned out more awkward than you thought.ย
โSupporting Jay today?โ he nodded at the rink where the team was currently practising, your eyes wandering over to Jayโs figure.
โHim and the team. School spirit, you know?โ
โYeah,โ he chuckled. โI heard about the kiss camโโ he pointed towards the screen and you wanted to close your eyes instead, but basic courtesy mattered. โโapparently for raising funds,โ
Raising funds through a kiss cam? What was this? โThe Kissing Booth: hockey editionโ?
โThatโs โฆ interesting,โ you uttered, nervousness laced in your voice.ย
You were saved from the awkward tension just as the game started, secretly wishing you had Minji with you instead of a mouth watering football player next to you. The game was intense, effectively grabbing your attention away from your surroundings, but the flash of the kiss cam starting its quest on finding couples was distracting.
As the game progressed, you grew confident that your mind was just playing games in making you anxious and nothing would happen. Your mind eased as you joined in the cheering when the home team finally scored a goal, watching the team celebrate had you grinning, staring down at a specific number 99.ย
The high soon died down and you chose to glance up at the jumbotron, the kiss cam focused on a cute couple who were weirdly making out instead of just simply kissing. PDA, yucks. It then swiftly moved on to another pair, thankfully. They were probably strangers, but being good sports, they shared a quick peck, earning some โawhโs from the crowd. Another change, your eyebrows furrowed, a frown tugged at your lips, was thatโ
It was. Your nightmare has come. For a moment you wondered if you were hallucinating, but a couple of beats later, you came to the realisation you were not. The kiss cam was focused on you and โฆ Juyeon. When you said you were interested in him, you didnโt mean this, nope not at all.ย
Embarrassingly and reluctantly, you avoided the footballerโs gaze and shook your head, feeling tripped out as you stared at your own self on the screen, catching some disappointed groans from a few people. โI have a boyfriend,โ you mouthed, trying your best to seem apologetic, but Juyeon didnโt look like he wanted to back down.
โYou donโt want to kiss me?โ he murmured, attempting to seem as lowkey as possible.ย
โI have a boyfriend, sorry,โ you pressed your lips into a flat line, not enjoying this for a bit. The kiss cam swerved away to pinpoint another pair, but Juyeon was persistent.
โCome on, donโt pretend you donโt want to kiss me,โ
You glared at him, your features turning sour, in disbelief at what youโve just heard. Was he serious? โExcuse me?โ
โForget about Jay, I know how you were looking at me that night,โ he whistled lowly under his breath and you scoffed, but you were caught off guard almost immediately when you saw the kiss cam lighting up in the corner of your eyes, and it zoomed into your face again. FML.
โHeโll never know,โ he arched an eyebrow, welcoming the idea hugely. Scumbag.ย
โI donโt stoop that low you fuckโโ
Before you could jump Juyeon and curse him out, a loud crash startled you and everyone around. You jumped in your seat, your head turned towards the direction of the noise. Jay was in front of you, his fist against the glass, helmet in hand. If looks could kill, you wouldโve been dead.ย
Wet strands of hair stuck onto his forehead, his eyes narrowed into a death stare as it trained on Juyeon. โFuck off,โ he yelled through the glass barrier, his fist clenched. โBack off,โ
The blood in Juyeonโs face was completely drained, obvious embarrassment and shame washed over him, but knowing him and his ego, he played it off, pretending as if that didnโt happen. โWhatever,โ he got up from his seat and stormed off. Deserved.
You hid the small smile forming on your face, your sights redirecting towards Jay, your heart beating wildly against your chest the moment you met his eyes, softening when he mouth โyou okayโ. You nodded back at him and you could tell he instantly loosened up, returning a half smile before turning away and joining the team.
Moral of the story: donโt fall for playboys, which sounded pretty ironic considering the situation you were currently in.
The game had thankfully ended in a win for the home team, and honestly, that whole experience seemed to be years instead of just a few hours. Never again. You were glad to see Jay and everyone else cheerfully exiting the rink, taking that as the cue for you to chase after him.ย
Upon arriving outside the locker room, you found yourself standing awkwardly as you waited for him to appear, greeting his friends half-heartedly when they were on the way out. Your patience was thinning and only until then, he only decided to appear, a little shocked that you were there.
โCongrats on the win,โ you joined his side and walked together, letting his shoulder brush against yours softly.
โThanks,โ he mumbled, a lollipop in his mouth. You didnโt enjoy this questionable tension between the two of you, noticing his rigidness.ย
โHey!โ You cut to the chase, snatching the lollipop from his lips, finally getting his attention as he turned to stare at you with wide eyes. โWhat was that for?โย
โNothing,โ he shrugged it off, and you didn't understand why, you could tell he was blatantly lying.
โYou're acting really weird,โ you narrowed your eyes at him in accusation.
โAm I?โ
โAsk yourself that,โ you huffed, instinctively putting the lollipop into your mouth, not bothering to care anymore. โAnyway, I think mission Juyeon is officially cancelled, he gives me the ick, didn't know he was such a big douchebag,โ
โTold you so,โ he shrugged, his gaze wavering from your lips to your eyes. Woah. โKeep the lollipop, I have loads,โ he gulped, avoiding your eyes.ย
โDrop me off?โ You suggested, putting on the most convincing, sweetest smile, which somehow worked since it got Jay to grudgingly mumble a โyesโ.
โI would give you a kiss right now if I could.โ You skipped on, leaving Jay to tail behind you, your words ringing in his ears.
Maybe somewhere inside, he did wish you would.
โSEE? I TOLD YOU HE WAS A JERK,โ
Minji continuously flailed her hands dramatically as you and she made your way through the campus. It was the week of the hockey event that Jay had mentioned, meaning another restless week of frat party, dress shopping, hockey match and then a fancy event.ย
โYes, yes, I know, you've made your point,โ you grumbled annoyingly, having not one but two people saying the same to you.ย
โIt's quite cute that Jay stood up for you though,โ she nudged your side, her eyes glinting. You knew what she was indicating.
โFake dating, fake. Not real,โ you threw your hands up in defeat, but internally, you were beginning to second guess if you even wanted to call it fake, maybe deep down, you didn't want it to be.
โWhatever helps you sleep at night,โ Minji mumbled, but you were able to catch onto it, huffing in denial next to her. โAnyway, when are you going shopping? The eventโs this weekend already,โ
โFuck, I forgot,โ you brushed your hand through your hair, having another headache to add on to. โDo you have any nice fancy dresses? I'm sure Jay is ready but I'm not,โ
Minji flashed a knowing smirk, she definitely had something up her sleeve. โYou know I do. I'll bring them to your dorm and we're going to have a whole makeover,โ
โYou're not going to burn my hair this time right?โ
โWe'll see.โ
A few days had passed and it was your second hockey pregame party, repeatedly cursing that your Thursday night was ruined once more, but seeing Jayโs pleading eyes at your doorstep, you just had to give in again. How did he have that effect on you?
โSheโs going to be at the party,โ Jay noted casually on the way to the house.ย
โOh,โ you pursed your lips, not knowing what to say next. โWhatโs her name? Youโve never mentioned,โ
โSujin,โ
โHer?โ you gasped, eyes widened in plain shock. Out of all the girls he couldโve had his heart broken by, it had to be the infamous Instagram blogger who was known to play around. Look, you've always been a supporter of every woman's rights and wrongs, but she was way beyond any defending.ย
โYeah โฆโ Jay sighed, his fingers drumming lightly on the steering wheel. โWe were high school lovers, but things went sour in college,โ
โWell, forget about her, you want to prove her wrong right? Then prove her wrong,โ
โYou're oddly over confident today,โ
โWhat's wrong with confidence, Park?โ
He glanced over at you briefly, a wide grin on his face as he shook his head. โNothing. I just like to see confidence on you,โ
You rolled your eyes, but something inside you twisted, finding yourself ignoring whatever feelings that sparked internally. โAre you ready for Saturday?โย
โSuitโs ready, but me? So so, I guess,โ
โYou sound pessimistic, donโt tell me youโre starting to regret all these,โ
โHey, now youโre just putting words into my mouth,โ Jay grumbled, putting the car into park right outside of the familiar frat house. โI wonโt ever regret you or this whole thing, now come on,โ
You werenโt left a single second to even process the fact that he said he won't regret you. Yes, you, not just this stupid scheme, but you. Upon entering the threshold, you were met with a cup of beer thrusted into your face from a passing Heeseung, your other hand occupied by Jayโs, trying your best to make it past the crowd without stumbling over. Everything was a whirlwind.
โFuck, sheโs here,โ his hold on you tightened and you followed his line of sight, your gaze landing on the over dressed Instagram model, her skirt a little too small and her heels a little too high.
โJust act normal, Jay. You said youโre over her, then you should act like that,โ you yanked him close to you, walking over to the mini bar, pouring yourself a drink. โThatโs her boyfriend?โ you nodded at the taller man towering beside Sujin, his face contrary to the one you had in mind.
โYeah, thatโs Intak,โ he said quietly, aware of the lingering ears around the two of you. โSeeing him every time we have a game against his team is revolting, I canโt believe I have to see him here too,โ
โThen look away,โ you pushed his face softly, earning a huff of annoyance from him. โCome on, itโll be over in an hour,โ you rubbed the side of his arm in comfort, his lips twisting into an endearing smile.
โYouโre right,โ Jay sighed, blinking harshly, his gaze flickering between you and your surroundings. โIโll go find Heeseung and Sunghoon for a moment, is that okay? Will you be alright alone? You can come along too. If you wantโโ
โItโs fine, Jay, really,โ you laughed, putting your hands up to stop him from blabbering on. โGo find them, call me when itโs time to leave,โ
โIโll come find you once Iโm done,โ he held onto your shoulder, pressing a hasty kiss on the top of your head before turning away to another room in search of his hockey teammates.
Safe to say you were able to find yourself a company, who turned out to be a girl you knew from your literature class. Why was she there? She didnโt know either and you thought the best was to not question further, grateful that you were not alone in this house of strangers. The clock was spinning fast, soon it was already past midnight and Jay was nowhere to be seen. You were praying that you werenโt in a remake of โScreamโ.
The feeling of unease crept up on you and you couldnโt handle it any longer, standing up from the couch and storming into different rooms of the house, all occupied and filled with people, none of those were Jay. The last option you had was the upstairs, which lied the unimaginable behind those rooms that you were not about to explore, thank you very much!
Wandering the upstairs of a rather large frat house all alone was quite a challenge, especially when you were trying to hunt a 5โ10 hockey jock, adding onto the fact that you literally and physically bumped (crashed, actually) into said hockey jockโs enemy in the corridors, shit was turning upside down.
โFuckโsorry,โ you coughed out, regretting your last sober choice of bringing your beer cup along.
โShitโitโs fine, no worries,โ Jay's enemy/exโs boyfriend, Intak, reassured, dabbing himself off with some napkins that were miraculously lying on a table nearby.
โI feel bad, if you need it cleaned I can help,โ you frowned, leaning over to see the damage youโve caused: a yellowish stain on his once perfect white tee.
โNo, itโs completely fine, shit happens,โ he laughed, waving his hand, an awkward silence filling the air momentarily. โSo, why are you even up here?โ
โOhโIโm finding โฆ someone,โ you gave him a tight-lipped smile.ย
His eyes lit up. โMe too, actually. I canโt leave the party without them and gosh, Iโm getting a headache already,โย
โTwins, I think the beer is getting to me soon,โ you clapped your hands, glancing around for any signs of Jay.
โBefore that happens, may I know your name first?โ
You raised your eyebrows. โItโs Y/N,โ
โNice to meet you, Y/N, Iโm Intak,โ you accepted his handshake, trying your best to be friendly and not seem awkward. "I play in a hockey team, the one that's playing against yours for tomorrow,"
"Right," you nodded as though you hadn't already known that prior to this. "I would wish you good luck on normal occasions, but since it's against the home team โฆ I need to keep my school spirit,"
Intak let out a small laugh. "Totally understandable," he met your eyes, a hint of sheer curiosity in them. "Do you have a date for tonightโ"
"Intak?"
"Y/N?"
You, together with the hockey player, turned around to find each other's partners standing down the corridor next to one another, a look of confusion written on their faces. But you, you had anger and an obvious "what the fuck" painted onto your expressions, and it was clear that Jay had noticed it too when he came close.
"Uhโwe're leaving now, bye," Jay murmured, grabbing a hold of your wrist and dragging you away, giving you only a brief second to say goodbye to Intak.
You didn't and couldn't understand what was happening, just hating the way Jay was acting. You kept your mouth shut until you were completely out of the house and walking towards the car when you yanked your hand out of Jay's hold, causing him to look back at you in a daze.
"God, you're such a dickhead!" You seethed, breathing heavily.
"What?"
"'What' was all you could say? Jay, you left me in that party alone for God knows how long and then you disappear on me just for me to find you running back to your ex? Make it make sense,"
"I didn't run back to her, Y/N, for fuck's sake," Jay ran a hand through his hair, his lips pressed into a thin line. "She pulled me away and started claiming weird shit that never happened, I wanted to leave but she kept persisting until I managed to break down the fucking doorknob,"
Silence fell between the two of you, the dark of the night consuming your thoughts and the moon was staring down at you, your mind and soul in a daze. You couldn't understand why you were feeling this way, after all, it was fake, it wasn't real.
"I believe you," you sighed, gulping down the anxiety building up within you. "Forget it, it's fine, sorry for being so worked up, it's not like we're really dating, right?"
You looked at him, noticing his eyebrows furrowed and eyes glinting with something unreadable, his mouth opened then shut, wanting to say something but nothing came out, heaving a small sigh. "You're right, it's not real anyway."
As much as you wished to forget it, you couldn't. The way he wasn't even fighting and being in denial, his words stemming sadness into your heart and reminding you again and again that it was never real to begin with.ย
Fake dating was meant to be fake, wasn't it?
โI CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'VE BROUGHT ME HERE FOR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT,โ
Friday night hockey was something you loved, but after what happened yesterday, you dreaded coming.ย
You still remembered the tension filled air on the way back to your dorms, the silence in the car and the quiet exchange of "goodnight" haunted you. Crashing into Minji's bed having a breakdown definitely made you two come to a conclusion that you were indeed harbouring something for Jay. Were you going to straightforwardly admit it? Never.
Now, you had zero balls to be at the game alone, choosing to drag Minji along and you knew even if she was vocally complaining, she was actually enjoying the hot hockey players secretly.ย ย
"Did you talk to Jay after yesterday night?"
"No,"
"Will you?"
"Maybe,"
"I think that's a 'yes',"
You stared pointedly at her and she shrugged, resuming her watch on the hockey players practising. You watched along as well, your eyes instinctively following Jay's figure, but then you noticed Intak on the far end as well. Somehow, you knew that this match wasn't about to end well.
"Is this seat empty?" A voice startled you from your internal monologue, snapping your head just in time to see little miss ex standing over you.
"Ohโyes," you said uneasily, grabbing your phone immediately to text Minji.
you: it's her
jiji: who
you: the girl next to me!!! that's jay's EX.
jiji: YOU'RE KIDDING
you: i wished
You exchanged a wary look with Minji, playing it off as natural as you could as you sensed Sujin sitting next to you, elbowing Minji in panic and she does the same back to you, making it look wild and weird from a third perspective. You stopped the frenzy nudging war with Minji, swallowing thickly and hoping nothing happened, but actually, something did, hooray!
โYouโre Jayโs girlfriend?โ you heard her asking and you turned your head slowly, meeting her blinking eyes and curious gaze.
โYes,โ you tried your best for it to sound convincing, and it seemed to have worked.
โCool.โ she whistled under her breath, returning her gaze back to the arena and you resisted rolling your eyes, biting back a snarl.
The game started in a haze, both teams trying to break one anotherโs defence and score a goal, yet it all failed in the end, turning it into a tie for two periods straight. You and Minji sighed in disappointment, watching the home team giving their best to not collapse there and then. Sujin, on the other hand, looked nervous throughout the game, occasionally standing up and clapping.
The third period approached in a blink of an eye, two teams eager to score and win, the tension was high and you could tell they were sweating heavy loads. It began in a peaceful and lowkey attack, but shoving and punches were seen here and there, earning entertained jeers from the crowd. You sighed, both in exasperation and stress, hoping nothing would land Jay a bad game. But everything proved you the opposite once more.
Your eyes widening in the next moment, noticing two players shoving each other and throwing gloves onto the ice, punches almost thrown but was interjected by the referee and teammates. Lord, it just had to be Jay and Intak, it was basically written in the stars, wasnโt it?
Once the game had ended, you couldnโt care less about the scoreline, listening to Minjiโs brief rants on how not to fumble your emotions about Jay and stopping her halfway through, pointing to the clock as your time ticked. You were attempting to squeeze your way out when you heard a cough behind you and to your disappointment, it had to be Sujin.
โYouโre aware of who I am, right?โ you heard the sneer in her voice, holding in the urge to rip her hair out and instead, remained facing away from her.
โDonโt worry, I do. Youโre Jayโs dumpster ex girlfriend,โ
โWhatโโ
Timing was right and you took the chance to slip away, thanking the world that you were finally miles away from Jayโs dusty ex. All of that didnโt matter though, the important aspect was finding Jay now, awkwardly speed walking to locate Jayโs whereabouts.
Upon arriving at the front of the familiar locker rooms, you patiently waited, feeling a sense of deja vu. That wasnโt all. Your anxiety was at its highest point. What were you about to say to Jay? Can you even face him? What if you pussied out and ran awayโ
โY/N?โ speaking of the devil โฆ
You whipped your head around, Jayโs curious eyes meeting your panicked ones, your whole body frozen to the spot as he approached you, taking a cautious step at a time.ย
โAre you alright? Were you hurt?โ you couldnโt help it, after seeing the minor fight on ice, your first natural instinct was to ask him this. Jay lowered his head, hiding a smile that was threatening to appear. A small sense of relief washed over you.
โIโm fine โฆ thanks. Just a small conflict,โ he muttered, then proceeded by a brief moment of silence, where you swore it felt like forever considering how it was just quiet stares and exchanges of friendly smiles, and you couldnโt really handle it much longer, being the one to break first.
โJay, Iโuhmโyesterday, the party thing, Iโm sorry about it, I donโt want that to make things awkward between us,โ you gesture wildly at the space between you and him, his eyes following your movements. โAnd itโs wrong for me to say those stuff,โ
โItโs partially my fault too. Iโm the one to blame to ditch you,โ
โIโm the one who accused you of shit and I feel really bad for assuming something I donโt know. I just got worked up, Iโm sorry,โ
He took hold of your hands, grasping onto them tightly as though he was fearing youโd run away. โY/N, do you trust me?โ
Do you trust him?
In a heartbeat, the answer was an obvious โyesโ. You had to admit, you did initially find him annoying and a total fuckboy that you knew would break your heart, but as time passed, you couldnโt care anymore. Even if it meant your heart was on the line, at least you knew Jay was genuine about you; at the very least, there was someone who would stand up for you, listen to your rants about music, and put you first.ย
โYes,โ
Jay pulled your hand, practically yanking you towards him, landing on his chest with a thud and a heart thumping crazily, butterflies swarmed your stomach and you could feel heaven getting close, aka you dying in Jayโs arms. He pressed his head on the top of yours, feeling his heart beating against your chest, his cologne no stranger to you now.ย
โWhen I said youโre my girl, I meant it, it doesnโt matter if itโs fake or not, Iโll always care for you, and I will never ever hurt you, so pleaseโโ an underlying mix of desperation, hurt and care were laced in his voice, and you were weak, weak for him. โโtrust me, and even if it means I need to earn it or whatever, I will,โ
โJayโฆโ you faltered, resting your chin on his shoulder, arms wrapped around his waist. โIโm sorry for not trusting you, I shouldโve heard you out, of course I do trust you,โ
Jay was silent for a second, whispering a quiet โthank youโ and pressing a swift kiss on your forehead, which didnโt get completely unnoticed by you, but you decided to not say anything about it, letting yourself melt into his arms. Internally, you were conflicted, torn between whether your feelings about him were mutual, you were scared, petrified that youโve already broken the first and most important rule of fake dating:
Do not catch feelings.
jayjay: DUMPSTER EX? youโre soo foul for that
you: truth hurts unfortunately :/ you never told me what happened that day
jayjay: it was stupid, he just started attacking me, for OBVIOUS reasons, so i couldnโt help defending back :(ย
you: iโm glad you didnโt get your ass beat
jayjay: gasp you have zero confidence in me!
Tossing your phone to the side was a hard task considering how Jay was basically spamming your message inbox, ranging from panicking about the event that was happening at night to gossiping about exes, he was certainly experiencing many emotions. You were similarly distraught, having a hard time choosing between a black dress or a red one, placing them in front of you for evaluations that just ended up failing.
โBy the time weโre done I think the party wouldโve ended,โ Minji groaned from her side of the room, lounging on her bed as she watched you glancing between the two dresses.
โNot helping,โ
โI literally chose the black one and you told me, in your words, โwhat if I looked better in redโ girl, thatโs your problem now,โ
โI'm indecisive and you know that,โ you mumbled sourly, picking the black dress in the end. You were grateful for the fashion Gods, the dress was an absolute banger and you didnโt understand how you even picked it out, you just knew.ย
โSee? I told you,โ Minji whistled, manhandling you to do a forceful 180 turn for her, and from the way her face morphed into a smile, you could tell she was pleased. "Jay would drop dead when he sees you," she squealed.
"God I hope not," you joked, squeezing onto your clutch tightly.
jayjay: im outside :)
"He's here," you hissed, becoming frantic all of a sudden, double checking everything at the last minute before slipping your heels on, making sure to give Minji a small kiss on the cheek too and off you went dashing towards Jay's car, noticing his figure faced away, leaning against his car as you got nearer.
"Hi," you panted, masking the fatigue and exhaustion from the amount of panic and stress you went through in those 5 minutes.
You could see Jay glancing up from his phone, then shoving it into his back pocket and turning his head around, his burning eyes locked with yours. A smirk slowly stretched onto his lips, a mischievous glint in his gaze as he sweeped your figure. You were no better, eyes shamelessly boring into him, scanning his attire and you swore your legs were shaking.
Him in a plain black suit shouldnโt be affecting you, but it was. The prada tie hung around neck was equally distracting, how was he making something so simple seem breathtaking? You hated him for it, yes, you absolutely do. His hair was styled back and a single loose strand hung over his forehead, practically challenging the Zayn Malik look.
โHey,โ his hand instinctively reached for your waist, bringing you closer to him. โYou look amazingโyouโre amazing,โ he breathed out, completely transfixed.
โYou look great too,โ thatโs a lie, he looked more than just great.
โGetting complimented by you for once? Honoured,โ
โYou should be,โ you snickered, letting Jay guide you to the passenger side and adoring the way he opened the car door for you. Although it was a small gesture, you appreciate it greatly considering how literally no man had done this for you before. Known fuckboy Park Jong Seong was proving you wrong day by day.
The drive there began quietly and you knew it was going to take a while since itโs quite a distance away, fearing it would be awkward silence once more, but the moment Jay had switched the radio on, the music discourse started, then it progressed into movies.ย
โI canโt believe you hate rom coms!โ you gasped, staring at him in horror as he fumbled to defend himself.
โLook, I didnโt say hate, but itโs just pointless,โย
โYouโre telling me youโve never watched the classic rom coms before?โ you dramatically leaned away from him, earning a huff.
โNo,โ he grumbled.
โThatโs criminal,โ you exclaimed, a little evil idea forming in that brain of yours. โIโm making you watch them,โ
โYouโre so not,โ
โOh, I am,โ you beamed, clapping your hands together. โThere are โHow to Lose a Guy in 10 daysโ, โNotting Hillโ, โPretty Womanโ, the list goes on and on and Julia Roberts is literally a rom com legendโoh my God, please tell me youโve watched Mamma Mia before,โ
โOf course I did! Iโm not that bad,โ
โIโm glad,โ you let out a sigh of relief, sinking into your seat and making a mental note to write down a list of rom coms to watch with Jay. A rom com marathon date with Jay, cute. The rest of the ride, you listened to Jayโs hilarious rants about the pizzas he tried and the interesting stories from his trips abroad.
The venue was absolutely spacious and screamed sponsored. It was at some five star hotel, the parking was already a clear indication that it wasnโt a hotel to be taken lightly in consideration. Even Jay was surprised, his head twisting and turning to look at the small details of everything, his hand in yours and it genuinely felt like you were dragging a curious child around.
โDidnโt know the hockey associations had this in them,โ he cooed, entering the ballroom of the hotel, a big hockey banner hung at the stage, round tables littered here and there, a huge space in the middle for the dancefloor and as for the cherry on top, a wide array of food and drinks displayed freely. Maybe you didnโt fully regret coming.
Despite all that, you only managed to recognise one or two people from the hockey team, but the rest of them were plain strangers, players from different schools that only Jay could probably recognise. You simply felt uneasy.
โRemind me what this is for again?โ
โLiterally nothing, itโs the same as the frat party but classier I suppose,โ
โReal charming,โ
โCome on,โ Jay said quietly, his hand resting on the small of your back, guiding you towards your designated table, actually glad for once when you saw the hockey team, including Heeseung and Sunghoon. โItโs going to be over soon and hey, you can always talk to the guyโs dates,โ
โWill I be seeing their dates the next time?โ you arched a quizzical eyebrow at him, knowing their reputation, you wondered if this was a one night exclusive kinda thing, but you werenโt there to judge.
โHard to say,โ Jay frowned.
โWaitโโ you paused, placing an arm on Jayโs shoulder. โWhat about us? This whole deal was for tonight, but what happens after?โ
โI donโt think itโs the right time to discuss this right now, Y/N,โ Jay glanced back and forth between you and his friends at the table, making sure his voice was extra hushed. โLetโs just survive tonight first, and weโll talk about the rest after. Capiche?โ
You nodded, but deep down, you could tell that talk was already dreaded by the both of you. Youโd hate to admit it, but after being with Jay for a while, you were not willing to let go. What if he didnโt feel the same and youโll just end up being those clingy girls he dated before? It was such a wrong time to think about all these when youโre in the middle of some stupid event, but your mind has its way to put you off, always.
โYou okay?โ Jay was close, his eyes scanning your face for any signs of emotions. It definitely helped in snapping you out of your daze, and it took your utmost willpower to not shy away or kiss him at that exact moment, he was so pretty, painfully pretty when he was up close for you to be able to capture his every feature.ย
โYeah,โ you breathed out, squeezing his shoulder lightly before looping your arm around his. โIโm a little hungry,โ
โMe too,โ Jay groaned, his head turning over to where the buffet was, evidently displaying heart eyes. โIโll go get us some, you should join them first, and save me a seat too, please,โ
โโPleaseโ? Thatโs a first from you,โ
โDo you want your food or not?โ
โYouโre so romantic whenever you threaten me,โ you shooed Jay away, forcing him to fetch some food while you trudged your way towards the table, Heeseung and Sunghoon nodded at you when you caught their eyes.
"Y/N," the two hockey players regarded you, their dates giving you friendly smiles and you took a seat next to Heeseung's date.
"Heeseung, Sunghoon," you raised your eyebrows. "And the ladies," you have to admit it, at least they had great tastes.
Heeseung and Sunghoon introduced you to their dates, one was Chaewon and the other was Kazuha, both of them being the nicest people you've ever met and you swore you were about to ditch Jay for them instead.
"Hey," Jay finally appeared, his hands were occupied by two plates and thankfully, he was smart enough to fill them up to the brim. He slipped into the empty seat next to you, acknowledging his friends and their dates.
โThis is a first,โ Heeseung noted thoughtfully, catching both you and Jay off guard.
โHm?โ Jay hummed, passing you the utensils.
โDonโt โhmโ me. This is literally my first time seeing you treat a girl like this,โ
Jay stared back at his friends as if they were insane, you just stayed amused. โYouโre making me sound like Iโve treated other girls like a dickhead,โ
โYou know what I mean,โย
You didnโt. But it seemed Jay did, silently sighing underneath his breath and shrugging Heeseungโs words off, turning to you instead. โI got you some strawberries, I remembered you mentioned loving them once,โ
There was a tug at your heartstrings, it was your absolute weakness: people remembering your favourite things; Jay most definitely had a great way to get into your heart and mind. He was slowly but surely ticking off the boxes on the list youโve created in your head, titled โthings Jay is forbidden to do so that I WONโT end up liking himโ and he was proving you wrong by checking them off one at a time, damn it.
The food wasnโt the best but the company surely did help. The whole of the hockey team was cracking jokes around the table, you were laughing until your stomach was hurting, the atmosphere high and wild, you were too busy trying not to choke at the jokes to notice that you were practically leaning onto Jayโs side, shoulders touching and you could feel the warmth emanating from his body.
Whatโs a fancy event without a speech at the end of the night? Other than that boring part, you were relieved to hear there was at least a dance to end the night off on a high with, since the dance floor was there for a reason. The team around the table started dispersing in pairs, until it was only you and Jay left.ย
โWere you waiting for me to ask?โ Jay teased, his eyes lingering on you.
โIsnโt that how itโs supposed to go usually?โ you mused, raising an accusing eyebrow at him and he stifled a laugh.ย
โIโm playing with you. I was waiting for the otherโs to leave first so that I could be alone with youโโ he bumped your shoulder gently with his, โโand ask you personally,โ he stood up from his seat, the soft glow from the lights shone across his face, alighting his delicate features, he looked like a fantasy, too good to be true, and maybe he was. โWould you like to dance?โย
โI would love to,โ you accepted his hand, allowing him to lead you to the dancefloor and you suddenly felt nervous, hoping you wouldnโt end up tripping or stumbling, or worse, stepping on Jayโs toes. Somehow, he would always sense your distress and this time, it was the same.ย
โDonโt be nervous, I wonโt start hoisting you up like those Disney shows,โ he said with his recognizable playful smile that youโve grown used to.ย
You were facing him now, his hand not leaving yours and only tightening its grip, pulling you in closer and closer until you were only mere inches away from him, noses almost touching. The other hand of his rested on your waist, yours on his shoulder, eyes not leaving one another. The lights were dimmed down, slow music was playing in the background and you swore you saw something sparked in his gaze as you two started moving to the rhythm.ย
โI mightโve said it earlier already but genuinely, youโre absolutely breathtaking,โ Jay whispered, his voice low and his gaze piercing.
โHave my love potions finally worked?โ you smiled, hoping and praying that Jay wouldnโt notice the slight tinge of pink rising to your cheeks.
โI think they did,โ Jay nodded slowly, biting his lip for a moment before leaning even more closer, space was basically nonexistent between you two now. โI might want to keep you forever now, keep you by my side and never let you go,โ
Could this be his answer? An answer to your countless doubts and thoughts that piled in your mind. This was stupid, he was stupid. Stupidly handsome and charming it had you going insane and you thought hockey jocks wouldnโt have this effect on you, guess you were wrong all along.
โReally?โ you breathed out, barely audible, but expectant.ย
โI donโt think I was ever joking,โย
โIโโ
โJay!โ Sunghoonโs voice boomed through the crowd and you could see the hope drain from Jayโs face, his eyebrows furrowed and features twisted into annoyance. โDude, I heard thereโs some free booze that costs thousands! Can we please go check it outโam I interrupting something here?โ
โYou think?โ Jay seethed out, taking off his suitโs blazer and placing them over your shoulders. It was something small, maybe even insignificant to others, but to you, it meant a lot, and you were hoping no one noticed your slight shyness after.ย
โItโs fine,โ you placed a reassuring hand on Sunghoonโs shoulder. โYou can whisk him off for the night, but donโt make him drunk,โ
โGot it,โ Sunghoon showed you two thumbs up, throwing his arm around Jay's shoulder.ย
โIโll see you later? Call me if you need anything,โย
โIโll be okay, I have Chaewon and Zuha here,โ
Jay only silently nodded, begrudgingly following his friend but making sure to turn back and take a last peek of you before fully disappearing away. You were left alone standing in the midst of the dancefloor, feeling a pair of eyes on you and you knew exactly who it was, Sujin.
Maybe this whole plan worked too well, it had you totally forgetting its original objectives and you couldnโt tell if it was a good or bad thing. All you knew was that you needed a long and deep talk with Jay and whatever he said earlier definitely had you on the edge all night while he was somewhere getting wasted. Hey, someone had to be the responsible one, and it happened to be you.
โYouโre telling me Heeseung spilled a drink over a girl a few days ago?โ
You found yourself giggling and messing around with Chaewon and Kazuha, the three of you sharing odd stories of one another and it evolved into gossiping about your own dates. Chaewon turned to you, a cheeky grin wide on her face.
โYou and Jay are dating right?โ she nudged you playfully, Kazuha followed with a smile.
โI guess so?โ you threw your hands up, sipping from a drink you didnโt really like but still endured.
โYou seem unsureโoh wow, did he never confirm it between you two?โ
โNo, not thatโโ it was that, it was complicated. โItโs just somethingโs bugging me,โ
โWhat is?โ the two girls leaned in closer.ย
โJust, the other day at a party, I saw him coming out of a room with his ex and I got madโโ
โRightfully so,โย
โI heard his explanation and I felt bad for jumping to conclusions,โ
โOh, honey, itโs our first instinct, you donโt have to beat yourself up for it,โ
โYeah, I know, I do trust him, he didnโt seem to look like he had just freshly made out with her or anything, but something in me just doesnโt feel like Iโve fully made peace with this whole thing,โ
โWhich means?โ
โI donโt know exactly, I think Iโm either super paranoid or simply scared something bad might happen,โย
โI mightโve not been with Sunghoon for long enough and I donโt even think weโre a thing, but Iโve hung out with him and Jay included, and itโs enough for me to say that Jay is a good guy. He might be a well known fuckboy at first encounter, but the more you got to know him, youโll realise heโs actually the sweetest and nicest guy ever,โ
โExcluding his reputation,โ Chaewon added thoughtfully.
โExcluding that,โ Kazuha repeated. โBut he probably changed, I donโt see him at many parties anymore after he got with you. Itโs cheesy to say but I think you mightโve changed that man,โ
โMhm,โ Chaewon nodded along, placing a hand on your thigh and giving you a comforting pat. โPlease donโt let some ex overwhelm your thoughts and sever your relationship, Iโve been there and it sucked, believe me. I see the way he looks at you, I can tell he likes you a lot, I really donโt wish anything to happen between you two,โ
โPlus, the three of us needs to hang out more, go on dates together, itโll be fun,โ
โAgreed,โย
You broke into a smile, laughing softly and leaned into Chaewonโs embrace. โI know weโve barely met but would it be too soon to say I love you guys?โ
โNever,โ the two girls snickered in unison.ย
The night gradually passed without your knowledge, time practically nonexistent when you spoke to your new found besties, only noticing how late it was when you saw people slowly making their way to the exit, hand in hand with their partners, and you thought of Jay. Please donโt be high or drunk somewhere, or just both in general.
โGod, look at the time, should we go find them?โ Kazuha pointed out, Chaewon stretching her arms out beside her while you readjusted yourself uncomfortably in this dress.ย
โWe really should, theyโre probably drunk or something. Come on,โ Kazuha pulled you up and it took your utmost strength to not collapse from the pain, all thanks to your killer heels you were now wincing everytime you walked. Beauty is pain indeed.
It didnโt take long for the three of you to spot the hockey guys, distinguishing Sunghoonโs glorious silver hair that shone particularly brighter under the lights from the mirrorball. Although they seemed sober still, you could tell they were beginning to be at their wits end, but forget about them, Jay was nowhere in sight and you couldnโt help feeling unease.
โWhereโs Jay?โ
โOh, Jay?โ
โYes, Jay,โ you folded your arm, staring expectantly at them.
โHe got a call or something just ten minutes back, he said he was supposed to be back soon, as in right now, but heโs not here,โ Heeseung said, trying to take a swig of his cup before it was swatted away by Chaewon. โHe did go that way,โ he pointed at the door that led out to the terrace.
โIโll go get him,โ
โDo you need any of us to help?โย
โIโll be fine โฆ for now,โ you gave them a smile of assurance, but you yourself were far from being assured.
Trudging your way past the dispersing crowd, you were wondering where Jay was, silently cursing him out as you continued your way even if your shoes were killing you. Never again. The terrace was a nice place to getaway, the open space looked out to a night sky that was illuminated by skyscrapers and stars, plus the cool night breeze made it even better.ย
The area was wide, tables and chairs littered here and there, but there was no five feet ten hockey player anywhere. You decided to walk around a little bit more, pulling your phone out and dialling Jayโs number, praying he was somewhere near. There was no way this would be a second reenactment of the party at the beach except this time itโs actually a real scary movie, right?
Wrong.ย
The moment you rang Jay, you managed a sigh of relief once you heard a ringtone sounding from a distance away, so as anyone would, you followed it, turning around a corner and you saw Jayโs back, elation filled your heart, but before you could even shout his name, your perfect bubble burst.
Jay wasnโt alone, no, he was with someone, a girl. You squint your eyes and you swore your knees turned into jelly in that second. Sujin, the dumpster ex, pulled him into a kiss. A mix of countless emotions swelled in you, whether it was anger, shock or sadness, all you knew was that you needed to get out right now. You couldnโt believe it, Jay, the guy you actually considered was doing this. Maybe trusting him was the worst idea you could ever conjure up your entire life.
โFuck me,โ you cursed out, maybe a little too loudly because it definitely did make Jay stumble back from his ex, turning around to meet your eyes and you could tell he was not expected you here, hell you werenโt even expecting yourself to be in this foolish position.
โWhatโY/N?โ Jay somewhat looked too disoriented, unaware of what was happening as though he had just woken up 10 years later. But you couldnโt care less, you were hurt and you werenโt about to pretend nothing had happened and start acting jolly good. No, you werenโt going to stand there to let the scene before you swallow you whole, no way, you were going to leave this situation, this stupid event and this entire agreement.ย
You stormed away, not daring to look back, mustering every bit of courage you had to swallow down a sob and remain prideful, even if it meant you had to fake it till you made it. Hurt wasnโt a stranger to you. Youโve experienced hurt in many forms. Physically, when you fell down on the rough rocky road; emotionally in terms of family, friends, love. But this was a hurt that resembled a deep cut, the feeling of being stabbed in the heart haunted your soul.
โY/N, wait,โ
Fuck, not here, not now, not when you were inside and standing in the middle of the room. Even though there was barely any one here by now, the guys from Jayโs hockey team remained, including Heeseung and Sunghoon, you were not ready to confront or be confronted.
โNo, Jay, no โwaitโ,โ you put your hand out, distancing yourself away from him, but you could still smell the alcohol in his breath. You wished and hoped he was sober enough for this, because in the next hour you were going to be the one drinking to death instead.ย
โI can explainโโ
โCan you?โ
โWhat?โ
โCan you explain this time? Is it just a drunken mistake? Is that what you were going to say?โ
โFor fuckโs sake, Y/N, we arenโt even dating,โย
Heads turned, you could sense peopleโs attention on the two of you now, but you were far from caring about that, not when Jayโs words felt exactly like a dig at your already fragile heart. God, you were so so stupid and naive.ย ย
โSay it again,โ the words came out in a whisper, your lips trembling. โSay it again, say how we were never real, how all of this was just a fucking scheme to get back at your ex, and haโ!โ you threw your hands up, swallowing down a lump in your throat, โit worked, didnโt it? I ended up falling for your tricks and I ended up falling for you too, funny isnโt it?
Jayโs face twisted upon digesting your words, but you went on.
โI shouldโve known that you were using me all along just to get back with herโฆโ you faltered, your voice eventually failing you.
โY/N, come onโฆโ he said weakly, but you just shook your head.
ย โGo back to her,โ
โDonโt you get it? Fuck, Iโd choose you over her, any day, any time. Iโd choose you over everyone God damn it. Canโt you see that?โย
Your mouth fell open for a second, but nothing could come out as a response.
To say that you were bewildered was an understatement indeed, you were absolutely stunned speechless. The man before you, despite looking in a daze from God knows how much alcohol he had consumed, showed that his eyes said otherwise, staring back at you with desperation, longing, pining and sadness. Your heart could only take so much.
โGoodnight, Jay.โ
What pained you more was the fact that he didnโt even try after that. No, he didnโt call for you nor did he stop you from leaving like those scenes from your favourite rom coms, he just decided to let you go.ย
At one point, you really wished someone would come out and yell โthis is a prankโ at you, but obviously, no one did. This whole thing was basically a reenactment of Cinderella, except it was a modern day and much more angsty version of every kidโs favourite movie.ย
Of course, you happened to be Cinderella and he was Prince Charming, the clock struck midnight, you were leaving him in a haste and he was left stranded alone in the middle of a dance, how ironic.ย
Oh, how you wished you were able to hide away from your own Prince Charming like the old mediaeval days.
โARE YOU GOING TO CONTINUE CRYING OVER โHOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYSโ?โ
โLeave me alone,โ
โIt isnโt a good coping method,โ
Somehow, it was already almost a week since that night. You remembered calling a cab in the dead of the night (dumb idea) and phoning Minji the whole way sobbing till the point where the driver had to pull over. You were pathetic and even a stranger could tell so, but you know what, he was nice about it and thatโs the positives youโd take from that.
โAnd itโs ironic how I actually did somewhat lose a guy too,โ you tried laughing, but it only sounded like a choke, Minji shaking her head sympathetically at you.ย
Speaking about Minji, she definitely wasnโt pleased to hear what had happened. Knowing her, you knew she was about to say โI told you soโ but seeing you in your pathetic state, she kept her mouth zipped and quiet, letting you into her bed and having a sob session. It was a crazy night.
โWhen will you hear him outโdid you even hear him out in the first place?โ Minji eyed you accusingly and you began cowering under her intense gaze.
โNoโฆโ
โY/N,โ Minji sighed, shifting closer to you. โI know the whole picture is super messy and totally off putting, but what if it was an accident?โ
โHim kissing his ex is a pretty clear picture to me, how would it be an accident?โ you wrapped your blanket tighter around you, mumbling disheartedly.
โWhat if he fell on her or something?โ
โNow you sound absolutely ridiculous,โ you scoffed.
โWhat I really mean is, you should go and talk it out with him, if not, this thing will just drag on and youโll hurt more,โ
โI donโt think Iโm ready, the woundโs still fresh,โ
โI get it,โ Minji placed her head on your shoulder, snuggling on your side. โIt takes time, and I donโt think heโs ready either.โ
Jay wasnโt ready, in fact he thinks heโs never going to face you again.
The moment he watched you slip away from him that night, he knew it was best to just let you go. Or so he thought. Best believe he got an earful from both Heeseung and Sunghoon, not to mention their dates. He could still remember the bursts of disbelief from them, the amount of โit was fake?โ and โwhat did you do?โ rung through his head till now, where he stared blankly back at the rink, sitting silently on one of the seats in the stands.
โItโs barely 24 hours and itโs also a Sunday, what are you doing here?โ the teamโs captain boomed through the empty arena, approaching Jay and eventually taking a seat next to him.
โTaking my mind off โฆ things, what are you doing here?โ Jay regarded Heeseung for a moment.
โI figured youโre here,โย
Jay nodded at Heeseungโs words, silence eventually filled the space between them. It was one of those moments where they knew something was wrong, but no one wanted to speak up about it.
โAre you not going to tell us what happened? Or did you simply decide to kiss your ex?โ Heeseung broke the ice, coming off slightly harsh, detesting the silence from Jay. He knew this wasnโt the best friend he trusted his life with, the Jay he knew wasnโt a cheater, even if the relationship wasnโt real.
โWould you even believe me?โ
โI would, Iโve known you for years, thereโs no way youโre doubting my trust for you,โ Heeseung rested his hand on Jayโs shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze.
Jay ran his hand across his face, blinking momentarily before sighing deeply. โI wasnโt the one who kissed her. I donโt know what happened to lead up to that, but I swear she suddenly turned me around and pressed herself onto me. I was just chilling outside for fresh air,โ
โYouโre kidding,โ
โIf I was I wouldnโt be here at all,โ
โHave you confronted Sujin?โย
โKind of? If you count screaming at her and telling Intak about it as a confrontation, then yes,โ Jay was fidgeting with his fingers, his eyes trained on the rink. โI think Intak broke it off with her after,โ
โDeserved,โ Heeseung mused, a small smile on his face, karma truly worked wonders. โNow thatโs settled, what about Y/N? I still canโt believe you roped her into a fake dating scheme just for that event,โ
โAlright, alright, Iโve done some dumb shit and this was one of them, I know,โ Jay admitted, throwing his hands up in defeat. โAnd I know Iโve hurt her โฆ a lot, thatโs why I donโt know how I can ever face her again,โ
โI donโt understand why you didnโt chase after her that night,โ
โI admit I did pussy out a littleโโ
โโA littleโ?โ
โShut up,โ Jay narrowed his eyes at his captain, who stared back, equally unamused. โI thought letting her go was the best choice, I was scared of hurting her more,โ
Heeseungโs gaze softened, remaining quiet as he listened to his best friend opening up. Heeseung had these types of deep talk with Jay many times before, but this time, it was different. Being the one who stuck alongside Jay since his first breakup to now, he was the clearest when it came to Jay and his feelings. Over the years of witnessing Jay and his casual one nights, Heeseung expected it to last until the very day Jay retires from hockey, but your sole existence proved him wrong, and it definitely proved Jay wrong as well.
โJay, do you like her?โ Heeseung said after a while, catching the latter off guard.
โIโIโโ Jay stammered, his body rigid and thoughts were circling in his mind. He didnโt just like you, he knows heโs fallen for you, you were the first girl to ever caught his eyes way before he even got to talk to you.ย
He remembered it clearly, you were the one who called hockey stupid in front of his face, oblivious to the fact that he played the sport. He was injured at that time, sitting in the stands and watching his team play when he heard your voice complaining, your then boyfriend next to you. Offended Jay was once he heard the insult, though he was fascinated by you, but it was just his fuckboy side talking and he ended up staying silent instead.
Next thing he knew, he was all recovered and you were in the crowd, your face blank, the seat next to you was empty. Jay assumed it was a break up, something in him was giddy and he went on to score a hat trick that night. After all that, people might assume he wouldโve gotten your number already, right? Nope. He never had the guts to and you stopped coming to games, only appearing once in a few months, until that fateful night at the beach.
โI do like her, fuck,โ Jay threw his head back, leaning into the seat and his hands on his face, swallowing deeply as if he was in trouble, maybe because he was. How was he going to tell you he liked you and confront you about that night? There were two big stones thrown at his head. "I like her so much till the point where I think the amount of denial I had is turning into delusions instead,"
"So, you've reached insanity, got it,"ย
"God, I haven't been romantically in love with many girls before, but I'm pretty sure this is what being in love feels like, right โฆ ?"ย
Heeseung stared at Jay's pathetic expression, sighing deeply, clapping his back. "It's different for everyone but I can guarantee that you're on the right track, buddy,"
"Okay," Jay said breathlessly and nodded blankly, seeming as though he had just freshly figured out his feelings, putting the missing pieces into his puzzle. "Got it, but how do I apologise to her now?"
"What do you mean? Just go up to her and talk, say sorry and explain,"ย
"I feel like that's not enough,"
A sudden spark alighted in Heeseung's eyes, a shiver equally went down Jay's spine when he witnessed that before him. Lee Heeseung and his ideas were a mix of trouble and sometimes success, mainly trouble. โYou know, Sunghoon pitched this idea to me yesterday, he said something about this is how you get the girl,โ
The mention of Sunghoon's name and his idea didn't help at all.
โWrite her an apology on our jumbotron,โ
โYou're insane,โ
โAnd we happen to have access to it,โ
โ... tell me more.โ
YOU WERE REGRETTING YOUR CHOICE OF AGREEING TO HEESEUNG AND SUNGHOONโS INVITE.
Hockey games were never up your alley, they knew that, but somehow they still managed to pull you into attending their game, even after what had happened. They did offer to bring you out for a luxurious buffet and you guessed it was their way of an apology, not passing up on it either.
โThis better be worth it,โ you grumbled under your breath, settling into your seat, glancing down at the rink, making it a strenuous effort to not stare at him. Ladies, do not chase, attract. You were not about to go running after Jay, nope, never.
No matter how hard you tried suppressing the thought of Jay, it lingered nevertheless. You wondered when he would talk to you again, or if he ever would, and being the most stubborn person you were, you werenโt going to confront him despite the need of an explanation clawing at your deepest desires.ย
The first and second period rolled by mindlessly and you were starting to be at your wits end, reminding you why you barely ever attend hockey games after your ex, but at least the home team was leading. The third period was slightly more thrilling thanks to the small fight between two players, enraging you and the crowd, but once the puck landed on Jayโs end of the stick, everyone was on their feet, watching him zoom past the defensemen.
Without saying, Jay scored the gameโs winning goal, the crowd going wild. You couldnโt help smiling, the whole team engulfed him wholly, making you let out a small giggle, and you had to admit, times like this where teams win crucial games do make you happy. Meanwhile, what you hadnโt noticed was the fact that Jay was glancing up at the crowd, his eyes searching for your figure.ย
On the other hand, what you did notice was the jumbotron. A video of Jay doing his celebration flashed big on the screen, a giant โGOALโ next to his head, but there was another line of words under that caught your attention at once, knowing it was directed at you. โIโm sorry and I miss you. Iโll wait for you, even if itโs a lifetime. Please come back to me.โ Totally not heartbreaking and gut wrenching for you!ย
Screw being a cold hearted girl boss, all you wanted was to run back to him.ย
Slinging your bag onto your shoulder, your mind was in a mess as you made your way out, squeezing past people and mumbling apologies in return. You mentally made a list of things you were going to do. First, run back to the dorms. Second, cry. Third, figure shit out. Just to make matters messier, your journey out wasnโt the smoothest, especially when you had to bump into Jayโs dumpster ex. What great timing this was.
โY/N?โ Sujin was shocked to see you, but you were clearly unimpressed.
โYou still have the guts to turn up in front of me? In here? In a school you donโt go to?โ
โIโI just wanted to talk to you,โย
โMe? Whatโs there to say?โ you crossed your arms, staring expectantly at her.ย
โLook, Jay didnโt kiss me, I kissed Jay, you get it?โย
You blinked. Were you supposed to get it? As much as you wished you didnโt, you did, and your mind turned into a worse state of mush. God rest your soul, you were about to pull someoneโs hair out.
โWhat?โ you exclaimed incredulously, furiousness crawling into your system. โSo, youโre telling me you basically threw yourself onto him?โ
โI suppose?โ
โWow, you really are a freaky ex, not freaky in a good way either,โ you gestured at Sujin, a sick feeling in your stomach. It was never Jayโs fault, but his dumpster ex, and maybe all along he was trying to explain his side, yet you didnโt listen. Now, you felt like an idiot and an asshole. โYou can stay in the dumpster and never return. Youโre sick and twisted and I hope youโll never turn up and harass Jay ever again, you got it? Or else Iโll curse you into being single forever,โ
โIโโ
You didnโt let her finish, you couldnโt bother to do so, instead you turned away, speed walking towards the locker rooms that unknowingly became yours and Jayโs meeting spot. Heart beating quick, your feet stumbling from walking too fast, your breath heaving, you were getting anxious. By the time you were standing in front of the locker room, sweat was trickling down the side of your face, whether it was from pure anxiety or just walking, you didnโt know. All you knew was that you needed to talk to Jay.
โY/N, what brings you here?โ Heeseung had his hands in his pockets, headphones around his neck, looking fresh off the shower as he greeted you. โI know Sunghoon and I invited you for dinner but I donโt think itโs tonightโโ
โWhereโs Jay?โ
โJay?โ Heeseung repeated, he didnโt seem like he was believing what he had heard. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes to the back of your head.ย
โAre there other โJay's' that you know?โ
โUhโno,โ Heeseung stammered, shaking his head as if heโs trying to shake his dizziness away. โJay left already, Y/N,โ
โOh,โ it was obvious how deflated you became, the drop in your voice and disappointment written all over your face. Heeseung gave you an apologetic smile, but you could only manage a small wave of goodbye and a quiet bid of goodnight before turning back to the original path to the exit.ย
To say you felt frustrated, embarrassed, sad was an understatement, those words would never amount to the real emotions you were feeling. You were a mess, your love life was in a big distress and practically crumbling apart. The walk home couldnโt be more depressing than usual, canโt it?
Taylor Swift playlists to sob to, a tub of strawberry ice cream, a random rom com were all going to be your biggest hug of the night.
โGODS, THIS IS MISERABLE,โ
A tub of half eaten ice cream sat sadly on your bedside table, a 90s romcom remained playing in the background. You couldnโt help frowning at the sight of the two leads falling in love, everything felt pathetic at this point.
You truly did stick to your words. Arriving back to an empty dorm room, courtesy to Minji for staying over at her boyfriendโs place, you practically had the whole dorm to yourself, meaning a space of free self loathing, you ran to your bed and plummeted into it. It took everything in you to not let out a blood curdling scream, instead you just took your laptop out and put on your favourite movie.
It was still early, midnight was barely approaching, so you were glad to be able to stay awake longer. It began raining heavily outside, a perfect sign for you to be in your sheets, reading your unfinished book that youโve left hanging since months back. The whole scene of you being in bed on a rainy Friday night truly reflected a part from a romcom, how ironic it was.
In the midst of โ16 Candlesโ playing loudly on your laptop, the doorbell rang out of the blue. You froze, pausing the movie, slight paranoia creeping onto you. Right, being alone in an empty dorm room with a thunderstorm happening outside definitely wasnโt a common plot from horror. At first, you planned to ignore it, but a second ring prompted you to muster your courage to open the door.
โIโm going to be fineโ chants were circling your mind as you approached the front door, one hand on the door knob, eyes glancing back and forth at the kitchen knife, you werenโt going down without a fight. A turn of the door knob and a pull of hand, the door swung open to a man. Wait. Not just any manโ
โJay?โ
His name naturally rolled off your tongue, but your eyes couldnโt believe heโs actually standing right in front of you.ย
Jay stared back, equally startled, as though he hadnโt expected you to open the door for him. He was standing there like a ghost, fully drenched from head to toe, shaking from the rain. His face was impassive, but his gaze showed otherwise, a hint of sadness and desperation painted in his brown irises.
โAre you insane?โ
Jay glanced down at his attire that was basically soaked to the core, a small sigh escaping his lips. โWe need to talk, Y/N,โ
You nodded wordlessly, your eyes unknowingly avoiding his piercing gaze as you slowly backed away to the kitchen, grabbing a dry towel. โHere,โ you handed Jay the towel, your hand shaking a little.ย
โThanks. Can Iโโ he took a peek over your shoulder, โโcome in?โ
โIโyeah,โ you were slightly alarmed, moving to the side for him to enter before shutting the door, making sure to draw in a big breath to calm your nerves.
ย โY/N, please let me explainโโ
โJay, Iโm really sorryโโ
The two of you halted, realising that youโve spoken in unison, the silence dawning on the both of you. Jay broke into an awkward smile and you felt yourself grinning just a little. Jay gestured at you to continue, so you did, letting out the things youโve bottle in for days.
โIโm sorry, I didnโt know what happened and I just jumped to conclusions, which was wrong for me to do butโโ you swallowed, blinking hard, โโbut it was heart wrenching for me to see you kissing someone else, especially when itโs your ex, and itโs stupid, itโs so stupid that Iโm feeling this way when weโre not even a thing!โ
โItโs not stupid, Y/N,โ
โIt is,โ
โItโs not,โ Jay repeated, taking a step closer, a look of pining in his eyes as he searched for yours. You didnโt realise how much youโve truly missed him until you saw him close. โI never intended to kiss Sujin, you know? I went out because she called me saying she needed help, and she took the chance when I was confused to kiss me. I know Iโve asked for you to trust me before, but if you donโt, Iโll get it,โ
โI do,โ you said at once, eliciting a small look of surprise from him. โI spoke to her,โ
โWhat?โ
โShe admitted it to me, and I wanted to find you after the game but you were already gone, then I realised how much of an Idiot I was,โย
โAh,โ Jay said softly under his breath, combing his fingers through his hair, seemingly trying to digest everything in. The beat of silence was suffocating you gradually, uneasiness hung in the cold air of your dorm. It took you everything to pour the words youโve been holding in your heart out.
โI trust you, I do, but what are we, Jay? What are we doing?โ you breathed out, chewing anxiously on your bottom lip. โIf you want to end it here, then say itโโ
โWe can be anything you want,โ
โI want you, Jay,โ you blurted out, it was too late to turn back and run now. โI donโt want you to need me, I want you to want me, just as much as I want you,โ
Jay stepped closer, testing the waters between you and him before sensing the green light from you to continue further. Space was practically nonexistent, you were inches from him, letting his hand wander from your face to the back of your neck, naturally leaning into his warm touch that reminded you of the feeling of fire on a cold night. The hand resting on the back of your neck pulled you in closer, one wrong move and you would be kissing him.ย
โI do want you,โ Jay said quietly, the minty scent laced in his breath entering your senses. โI like you, Y/N. Thereโs no doubt about that, I know it. Iโm aware that this whole thing started out fake and I expected nothing from it, but when I realised I felt something more for you, I was scared you would leave, especially since I had a history ofโโ
โBeing a fuckboy?โ
Jay rolled his eyes, grinning at the unamused look on your face. โThat. So I thought letting you go after that night was a good decision, that my feelings would eventually disappear and you wouldnโt be hurt anymore, but God, I ended up hurting you instead and you have no idea how I had lost my mind,โ
โJayโฆโ you were quite literally speechless, his words didnโt just had to tongue tied and had rendered you wordless completely, it made your insides twist and turn in the most childish way, it made you feel like you were a teenage girl who had just talked to her crush for the first time, you were giddy.ย
โI choose you, my love. Any day, any time, anywhere. Itโs always going to be you, only you,โ
You were resisting the urge to break into the cheesiest smile ever, Park Jong Seong was about to be the death of you. โI like you too, big head. If you donโt kiss me now, I might change my mind,โ
โYouโre going to be the death of me,โย
Jay finally closed the space between you and him, pressing his lips on yours feverishly, your honey flavoured melting onto his lips and his cologne swarmed your senses, this was heaven. His hand travelled back to rest on your cheek, while yours was having a field trip travelling up his chest and into his hair, giving a slight tug which resulted in a groan from him. You tilted your head, feeling Jay part his lips and deepening the kiss, his other hand on your waist to pull you much more closer, your body now pressed up against his.
โY/N,โ he mumbled against your lips as you gently pushed him towards your couch.ย
You hummed in response, feeling his body fall onto the couch with a thud and you followed suit, falling onto his lap, his arm wrapped tightly around your waist. You opened your eyes, pulling away to meet his heavy gaze that was staring back with equal desire.
โBe my girlfriend?โ his voice came out in a whisper, but your ears perked up at those three words, a teasing grin pulled at your lips and your hand instinctively reached for his cheek to squeeze, earning a look of annoyance and endearment from him.
โOnly if you take me out to dinner first, big head,โ
โYouโre such a tease,โ he chuckled, pressing a haste kiss on the side of your lips and you giggled, brushing the strands of hair from his forehead.
โIโd be crazy to say โnoโ after all this, you idiot,โ you flicked at his forehead, eliciting a sharp hiss and a piercing glare from him, reminding you of a black cat. โSo, yes, Iโd like to be your girlfriend,โ
You watched the man before you smiling wider than the time he won the championship with his team last season, his eyes shining bright and face beaming. Gosh, he was such a dream. One hand cupped your cheek, pinching it softly, โDonโt worry, Iโll treat you like my wife instead,โ
You rolled your eyes at his words, deadpanning at him. โYouโre too cheesy, Park Jong Seong,โ
โAnd you love me for that.โ he said in a sing-song tone before bringing you in for another kiss, this time softer and gentler, as if Jay was scared he would shatter you if he had kissed you too hard.ย
If you had the choice to stay just like this for the next few hours, you would gladly take it. You were relieved everything was well now, even if it meant Jay's wet pants were staining your couch, but you're sure Minji would understand.
Just as Taylor Swift would say, you believe you were entering your 'Lover' era, and you couldn't wait to be with your hotheaded hockey boyfriend. Yes, boyfriend, with no space.
โSO โฆ YOUโRE TELLING ME YOUโVE ALWAYS BEEN INTO ME ALL ALONG?โ
It has been a few months since you and Jay made it official together. To top off the unforgettable experience, Minji came home the next day to see you and him cuddling in bed, not missing the chance to get a picture and proceeding to give Jay a humble Ted Talk during breakfast, but it was all good after.ย
Jay did stick to your request and bring you out for dinner, but Heeseung and Sunghoon unintentionally beat him to it first by dragging you to the buffet they promised before Jayโs fancy dinner night, and he was forced to follow begrudgingly. Breaking the news to Heeseung and Sunghoon was definitely an interesting occurrence, including the usual bro talk and the crazy ship names, but in the end, they were glad you were finally together with Jay and was miles prouder of Jay for finally working up the courage to confess.ย
Now, here you were, on a Saturday night at Jayโs apartment enjoying a glass of wine, a random rom com in the background as promised of a marathon, and listening to your tipsy boyfriend spill about his first impression of you, which led to him unveiling the part where he laid eyes on you during the hockey game.ย
โNot always, donโt get ahead of yourself,โ Jay cut you off, raising an eyebrow at you. "I still can't believe you called hockey stupid,"
"It was a moment of hatred, okay?" You tapped his chin, swirling the wine glass in your hand. "Now, I'm a big hockey fan,"
"You're stupid,"ย
You feigned a dramatic gasp, punching his shoulder softly. "You're stupid โฆ stupid,"
"Yes, yes, I am," Jay eventually gave in, closing in and pressing his lips onto yours, tasting the familiar taste of the red wine on your tongue. "I'm so grateful to have you with me, lovely. What would I be doing without you?"
"Fucking other girls?"
"You've ruined the mood,"
You laughed, pressing a kiss on his cheek. "I'm kidding. You would be in a ditch without me,"
"You're not wrong," Jay's thumb was grazing against your lip, his eyes half-lidded, the alcohol in his system overpowering. "God, I love you,"
"I love you more, big head," you said, feeling a swarm of butterflies fluttering wildly in your abdomen. Jay was perfect, too perfect that it intimidated you, but what you didn't know was that he felt the same way about you too. "Are you turning red, Jong Seong?"
"What? Pft, it's the wine," he waved your words off, turning away to hide the obvious that he was becoming a shade of pink and maroon. You snorted at his ridiculousness, pushing his face to face back at you.
"Kiss me again?"
"You make me such a happy man, you know that?" Jay grinned, saying nothing more and pulled you in, abandoning his wine glass.
Jay couldnโt help but smile against your lips, being the happiest man in the entire universe at this moment, because he knew he finally got the girl, his girl, and there was no way he would ever lose you again. Never.
i am screaming and sobbing in single rn ๐ญ๐ซ
god created summer and then he created me (BIGGEST SUMMER HATER ON EARTH)
this is me
so uhh someone pls talk to me abt ninth house/hell bent i can't do this
book hangover is real i will never recover
also who was going to tell me the series wasn't over and i would be stuck waiting for a last book this is not healthy for me
a stoner็ชถๅฑ guide to starbucks
PAIRING ็ฌ๏ฝธ lee heeseung x fem!reader (ft. enha, winter from aespa, beomgyu from txt, and dino from svt)
GENRES ็ฌ๏ฝธ social media au (smau), crack, fluff, stoner au, strangers to lovers
WARNINGS ็ฌ๏ฝธ profanity, sexual jokes, zero braincells, limited knowledge of the starbucks corporation, weed consumption, dumb shenanigans, ignore timestamps!
SUMMARY ็ฌ๏ฝธ in which you work at the starbucks where heeseung is a regular at (and considered a public enemy). also he only goes when he็ชถๅฑ stoned off his ass.
AUTHOR็ชถๅก NOTE ็ฌ๏ฝธ hello !! i am alive (real) also i was so committed to the bit that i got high to make this <3 shoutout @hoonbear for the Extensive Starbucks Knowledge ๎๏ฝซ๏ฝก i would also like to note that i am NOT doing a tag list for this smau. also please note that this is a fictional setting and to boycott starbucks in real life for firing their workers over their pro palestine speech. remember to do your daily click!
Keep reading
inej and kaz having issues with touch due to trauma. kaz and wylan drowning and being reborn in the ketterdam harbor. wylan and jesper feeling like they have to hide a part of themselves due to their fathers. jesper and nina being grisha with addictions. nina and matthias being raised as a weapon rather than a human. matthias and inej being deeply religious. inej and wylan making themselves smaller because of the abuse they suffered. wylan and matthias being forced into a life of crime. matthias and kaz losing their parents and siblings. kaz and jesper being thrown into the barrel because of reckless behavior involving money. all of these characters being so different yet so similar and forever interconnected with each other because they know that no one else will understand
๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ข๐๐ ๐จ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐๐๐ข๐ฌ๐
huang renjun x fem!reader
you and renjun are pen-pals-turned-best-friends, except, no one knows that you know each other. at the same time, both you and renjun are also trying to survive being set up with people by your own separate friend groups. turns out, maybe you both just want each other and no one else.
genre. f2l, secret friendship/relationship, rival schools, social media au
featuring. nct 00 line, itzy's yeji + lia, aespa's karina + giselle, and others!
status. completed
โARE YOU LONELY?โ
profiles // smh-art school ยท nc-IT guys (+ynlia) ยท 4lyfers
i. the point??
ii. conspiracies + experiments!
iii. same boat tho
iv. doomsday
v. on private
vi. trial run #1
vii. u read my mind
viii. budget cuts, baby!
ix. BOT FIGHT
x. schemes >:)
xi. and the night was young
xii. schemes >:) again
xiii. it's a plan!
xiv. lately
xv. *pretty nice
xvi. this is not #slay
xvi.v what... was that
xvii. my uwus? all over the place
xviii. oh god, he knows
xix. na jaemin.
xix.v get it together, yeonjun
xx. the side characters
xxi. to match or not to match
xxii. love scenarios!
xxiii. bold or bold
xxiv. pop the question
xxv. renjun, you idiot.
xxvi. the side characters (the sequel)
xxvii. subtweets *sweats profusely*
xxviii. let's get this right
xxix. i know it's not me
xxx. the truth
xxxi. read it and weep
xxxii. check yes, juliet
xxxiii. record scratch
xxxiv. the winter exhibition
xxxv. epilogue: this side of paradise
taglist now closed!
One thing about Kaz is that instead of thinking "I don't deserve her" he went "I will work on myself to deserve her" Bro is a simp, not a quitter.
YALL SIGN THE PEITITON ONCE MORE BECAUSE EVWN MORE NEWS
THE SCRIPTS FOR OUR SIX OF CROWS SPIN OFF IS COMPLETE, INCLUDING SHADOW AND BONE SEASON THREE
WE COULD HAVE A INEJ BACKSTORY EPISODE, A WESPER EPISODE, HOW INEJ MET KAZ, AND A EPISODE GOING INTO WYLANS BACKSTORY, A START OF A FRIENSHIP WITH MATTHIAS AND EVEN THE SHIT GOING DOWN WITH HIS DAD
PLEASE I BEG YOU
SIGN THE PEITITON:: SAVE SHADOW AND BONE
Itโs so funny watching the Shadow and Bone series when Iโve only read the Six of Crows duology. Because here we have Magical Mussolini trying to establish a new world order by mansplaining manipulating and manslaughtering everyone in his way, and the only thing I care about is my found family of emotionally constipated idiots doing war crimes in the background.
i just read six of crows and crooked kingdom and wtf why did they have to take shadow and bone off netflix ๐ฅฒ๐ฅฒ๐ฅฒ like i heard shadow and bone is really boring so i was like omg they have a show i can watch it as an alternative but the universe just hates me wtf. i might just make myself read king of scars for i want to know what happens next. also all the ships are so cute like i cant find any flaws. esp wesper imo
helphelphelp i've fallen back into the rabbit hole idol producer and nine percent and now im rewatching idol producer late and night and just overall being infatuated im dying i keep trying to find blogs for idol producr fics but its been 5 years so ofc theres like hardly anything and most of the fics are already long gone bcs ppl deactivate their acc bcs, once again, its been 5 years ๐ฅฒ
hi <3 how r u?
omg im doing fabulous thanks to u bae <3
i hope ur having a great day :)))
part two to the "what color is math" post, extended poll time and with less color options.
Final Round: what color is math?
Red
Blue
Green
please reblog if you vote, we have to settle this once and for all
Hi
Hi ๐


