On The Internet, Straight Up Procrastinating It

I post a lot of stuff, but not enough cubes. He/him

[cubesandstuff]

Me, in the summer heat, taking 2 points of fire damage every second: aeugh aeugh aeugh ough eough ough eaugh

[cubesandstuff]

This is my most substantial contribution to tumblr

[bathroomcube]

[comixextra]

[roach-works]

it’s what they would have wanted

[iobotomypop]

happy moonwalk day

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Things Michael Collins absolutely would have done given the chance.

[bewbin]

LETS BRING BACK 1337 SPEAK 

[bewbin]

why do i even try 

[bunney]

I THoUGHT YOU MEANT THE YEAR

[esoanem]

my l0rd, t3h p34s4nt5 4r3 r3v01t1ng! W3 mu5t s411y f0rth 4g41n5t th3m 4thw1th!

[addamatic]

Happy ten years of being so old no one knows what 1337 is

[aurasisle]

They put men on the moon? Not very impressive. Bunnies have been up there since antiquity making delicious mochi for all.

[un-monstre]

Bloopers are movie aftercare and it’s fucked up that we got rid of them

[lemonsweet]

Do you remember the episode of Spongebob where he's training gary for the snail race and does a coach persona + calls gary a girl and has an aside where he's like "I called you a lady to demean you 🤓" and right after he says that it cuts to sandy and she somehow telepathically feels that Spongebob just did something misogynistic and us like I feel like I need to kick Spongebobs ass for some reason. And then she appears just at the end of the episode to kick his ass.

[guorble]

look at this bullshit happening on my dash

[kikmessenger]

sits on my own blog like it’s the edge of a lake wistfully

[kikmessenger]

skips a stone over a few posts

[ferrettaur]

So like an hour ago I just lear🪨︵︵ned that— what the fuck was that. Someone just skipped a rock across my post did you see that

[diphowell]

GENDER SHOULD BE OPTIONAL!!!!

[tonyzaret]

For the typical “gamer,” there is nothing unusual about spending upwards of 10 hours a year “gaming”

[cuppydogshane]

all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.

[charl0ttan]

getting a jobjob from a water cooler with big pronouns

[jockey-fullof-bourbon]

Oh my gog tiny text box susie do you know how much you mean to me

[theonion]

[threedollarsdotcom]

think of a girl. now think of another girl. now think of another girl. now another. thats not enough. more. more. more girls. no thats not enough. more girls

[what-even-is-thiss]

Yeah I saw the lovecraftian horrors and didn’t succumb to madness. What- no I’m not a cultist, James. For Christ’s sake. What you’re forgetting my friend is that HP Lovecraft wasn’t a flexible man. His brain simply wasn’t stretchy enough to take it all in. I however, have short term memory issues. Flexibility is the name of the game when you can’t remember if you ate lunch or not. What’s the size of the universe? Big. You knew that already, James. Come on now. You don’t need to witness the terrifying ocean at the base of the entirety of reality itself to know that. Pass the brandy.

[what-even-is-thiss]

You must imagine the character I’ve created here wearing a suit and a monocle, by the way.

[thesilvertophat]

During a Eldritch Horrors based tabletop RPG my character was a young dandy who wasn't particularly interested in all this monster mystery stuff but his father (my brother's character) was a researcher who WAS very into it, so Bertie went along to make sure the old man didn't get into too much trouble. It was your average Eldritch Horrors RPG in that you don't make your characters with the expectation that they will survive for very long, both the game itself and the genre are very intent on turning your characters inside out, driving them insane, and blowing them up in no particular order.

The thing was, everything in this nightmare hellscape just seemed to keep coming up Bertie because the man was too stupid to realize what genre he was in. Every time he had to roll for a sanity check whenever he saw something crazy, the dice treated him so well that he just... didn't get it. Gee that sure is a funny costume. There's something wrong with that dog. These mean guys in stupid hats are trying to hurt that young lady, we can't have that! I had not built him this way, his intelligence stats weren't even that bad, random chance just made it so that this man was living a scooby doo adventure while everyone else was being consumed by The Horrors. The final straw was at the end of an adventure when Bertie escaped from the cultist headquarters by breaking out through the mansion's front window on a motorcycle with a hot rescued sacrificial maiden clinging to his back and leading the cultists on a merry chase through the hedge maze while the other adventurers escaped. His sanity score? HIGHER than when the adventure had begun. He had found the whole experience quite thrilling and felt very good about life in general! Bertie retired from adventuring to marry the maiden he rescued and care for his aging father and delight and bemuse his friends at the gentleman's club with stories of his 'wacky' adventures. I didn't want to risk breaking his ridiculous lucky streak.

[fabiansociety]

he’s going to have a dickens of a time explaining how he met his new wife to aunt agatha

[nemospecific]

“Bertie, you’re talking nonsense. Again. Still, you’re married, so the details don’t matter. No, I don’t care, no one cares, don’t ruin dinner by trying to explain. There’s a good boy.”