Hey guys did I mention I live on a fucking weird island and sometimes land crabs with 8-inch claws try to get into my house
cute puppy what breed is he
sideways
@hellsite-hall-of-fame
Cosimo Galluzzi

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dirt enthusiast
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

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One Nice Bug Per Day

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Today's Document
AnasAbdin
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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roma★
DEAR READER

JVL

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@cupcakesg
Hey guys did I mention I live on a fucking weird island and sometimes land crabs with 8-inch claws try to get into my house
cute puppy what breed is he
sideways
@hellsite-hall-of-fame
If I were an evil emperor in a fantasy world, I would have a an enormous aviary full of exotic birds that are exceptionally well cared for. They would be from a distant enough land that there would be very few people in my kingdom that knew much about them, they would be a friendly but not overly territorial species, and moderately intelligent. Like puffins. They would not, crucially, be able to imitate sounds and 'speak', but they would be very trainable and curious. Occasionally importing new birds for my aviary would be the Big Frivolous Indulgence that my political enemies make fun of.
I will also have a sorceror in my employ. When a hero or a renegade or a political rival is in a situation where I can safely kill them, they will instead be turned into a bird and added to my aviary. I would not brag about this; it would be a complete secret, known only to me and my sorceror. In situations where I capture multiple people working together, only one would go in the aviary;the others can be imprisoned or killed or whatever. If they escape and I reacquire them later, another one can go in the aviary. The point here is that nobody going in the aviary can safely assume that another bird in there is their teammate.
Because I would be trickling real birds in there, too. And I would train some of them to do 'intelligent' things like tap out prime numbers or scratch shapes into the dirt with their beaks. I would train some of them to pick at the locks and bars as if they were trying to escape. I would not train them all the same way, or train many of them at all.
Sometimes, a new bird goes into the aviary -- fellow revolutionary? Or just a bird? Is it trying to communicate to you that it's human, or just being friendly and imitating you because that's what smart friendly birds do? People would develop opinions and theories over time. They'd amass in a group of the smartest ones, pretty sure that they're closest four or five friends are humans, are using their invented little language of wing-flaps and trills with a human mind behind it... but can they ever really be sure?
Most people, when going into the aviary, would assume that all of the birds are captured enemies. So why are some of them hard to have ongoing communication with, to learn about, to plan with? Are these the natural communication barriers of someone in a bird body, or does being a bird make them stupider over time? Will that happen to them also?
Sometimes, if I capture a pair, I'll imprison them separately, then turn one into a bird and put them in the aviary at the same time as a real bird that's trained to have a couple of their partner's mannerisms.
When I interact with the birds, even in private, I won't secretly mock them or make clever veiled references to their past or act at all like I remember that they were once human. They are my birds, that I imported at great expense. And I've brought a treat for them; some fresh fruit, and another friend to share it with! A new bird!
Or is it?
Hey Derin what the fuck
#on tumblr thereso many 'if i were evil' ideas that aren't evil. and then there's this guy. 10/10 villainy. would scar an entire generation.#full villain approval
Look, Evil Emperor is a high bar. Empires are pretty evil by default so if you want to earn the title of Evil Emperor instead of Normal Emperor then you've really gotta put the work in. You can't just do normal greed and oppression and slavery and outright theft and then blame your victims for it, every empire does that, even the ones that pretend they aren't by calling the slavery and theft by some different name. If you wanna be an Evil Emperor then you have to get creative.
If I were an evil empress then I would execute people via an esoteric mind blast power where I'd lead them into a room and burn away their personalities and memories until they were an empty vessel and then send them home to their families, newly innocent and pardoned, where they'd have to be taught who they were and how to live from the ground up like a baby. (Or abandoned, I suppose, depending on the family.) Except I wouldn't actually have any such powers. I'd have a shapeshifting power that I'd use to turn my enemies into a piece of furniture and turn that piece of furniture into them, then send home a polymorphed candlestick or whatever for their family to dote on while my enemy goes on the table to hold candles for the rest of their 'life'.
Derin, respectfully, what the actual fuck.
People are always saying this to me
MY HUSBAND HELPED ME GIVE KARINA DRAWFEE MY LUCE PRINT!!!
@dilfosaur Best day of my life and I wasn’t even the one there. Ive been watching you guys since high school. Youve been my companion while I learned how to draw, and a huge inspiration to get out of my comfort zone and be playful in my work!
Also helped me gain the confidence to draw hot men in lingerie ;)))
Thank u for everything
If only there were some sort of facility where teenagers could be taught new skills.
Anyway, here's a helpful diagram. When I was hit on the temple this was one of the harder things I had to reteach myself. Don't be shamed into not asking questions, and it's alright if it takes you a while to figure it out. Don't let someone make you feel bad for learning new things, or relearning old ones.
Sometimes, unfortunately, you have to teach yourself. YouTube is a valid option.
yeah okay ill reblog that :]
And if you have trouble remembering which hand is which-- the minute hand has to be longer to make it easier to determine the actual minute, while the hour hand can be less exact.
NOOOOO NOT DOUGLAS
Item: Inappropriate Douglas
biologists will be like this is a very simplified diagram of a mammalian cell
chemists will be like this is a molecule
okay but this is what the best render of a human cell looks like
They are not kidding
We are full of so many fuckign guys
when I tell u I had to scroll a week back in my twitter likes to find this video bc I genuinely couldn’t sleep until I did
starting a collection
Collecting those rn
my humor 2016
happy 3 year anniversary of wheeze man
Finally, the original has crossed my dash.
@strangezeroz welcome to tumblr where the app decides when you can be gifted with the sight of og memes, you cannot look for these yourself via the search engine, you won’t find them, you have to wait to be gifted them
For those of you who might be new here, Tumblr has no algorithm, legendary memes are brought to your dash by mutuals like pet cats bringing you dead birds.
my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"
OP the tags!!
ouuh brother
Chapter 8 of "Minuscule" will be 13/14 pages long! Don't expect it to be posted before Christmas, I think it will be done early/mid January! I hope you all have a great Christmas and I wish you all the best for 2026 !
This AU will obviously resume in 2026, I'm having a lot of fun doing it and seeing your enthusiasm for it really spur me on! So thank you and I hope you'll love what's to come!
Science fact: Smaller organisms tend to have colder body temperatures, while larger organisms have much warmer body temperatures. That means that giants are biologically warmer than tinies. In other words, if you're cold, they're even colder. Put them in your pocket.
recollections
The road to the childrens’ hospital
@swedishfalcon-actual
I hope this joke outlives the context that made it, leaving future generations baffled.