Hey you all! Sun here with another commission post. This time I’m here to announce that my gf and I will be looking into flying her all the way from Brazil to a little land called Denmark, which so happens to be where she’ll meet me! Now, this won’t happen until it is safe for her to travel, but we’re here to collect the required money so that we have it ready when we need it. Any and all money gathered from these commissions go straight into her account so she can buy the ticket, and should we be so blessed as to have leftovers it’ll go to keeping us well fed and such while she is here. Thank you in advance for considering commissioning us!
🌙 COMMISSION MOON!
Click the link above to see Moon’s prices, terms of service, and so on. Contact her if you want a commission from her!
☀️ COMMISSION SUN!
Click the link above to see Sun’s prices, terms of service, and so on. Contact her if you want a commission from her!
⭐ COMMISSION A COLLAB!
Click the link above to see our collaboration form, prices, and so on. Fill in the form if you want a commission from us both! Don’t forget to read our terms of service as found above too!
✨ DONATE!
Do you want to support us but don’t have the funds for a whole commission? I have a Ko-fi page which you can donate to as well! Any donations will be greatly appreciated as they help take some pressure off of both of us. Thank you in advance! ♥
That is what everything in your world has been reduced to. There are no colors anymore. There is no sun. There is no hope.
If you look ahead, rusted iron bars cast their shadows on you. Beyond them, chains and hooks hang from the ceiling, some of them weighted down by torn human bodies. The floor is slick with trails and puddles of blood. A cloying, acrid stench of death pollutes the air you breathe.
You cannot escape this nightmare.
Even if you retreat to a corner of your cell and curl up into a ball, your eyes closed and nose pressed tight to your elbow, you can still hear everything. The tortured screams, the sound of your jailers’ giggles and laughs, the ceaseless wailing that haunts both your sleep and your every waking moment.
You know your turn will come. Day by day, you accept it. You won’t leave this place alive. Your life was forfeit the moment you came into this village, only to be captured by monsters and ‘gifted’ to horrors.
Some of the prisoners in the cells near yours talk, at times. They tell you of the Dimitrescus and what they do to people sent to them. They tell you if you’re as pretty as your voice makes you sound maybe you’ll be turned to wine instead of food or entertainment –and that is the best ending you can hope for yourself. No use in praying for anything else. Even God can’t hear you in this hell.
You learn what you can from them, until they are in no condition to speak to you anymore. Then, it is your turn to sing to them, to ease their suffering.
You will not leave this place. This castle you’re in is your exalted gravestone with the bloodied dungeon the coffin that keeps you in. You won’t ever leave.
But.
You are not concerned about your own fate anymore. All you think about is that of your family’s. Your loving parents and your baby sister, who have certainly figured you should have returned by now. Who must be worried sick about you.
Who cannot be allowed to come searching for you here.
The thought is unbearable.
You will die and that’s fine. But before you do, you have to make sure they live.
I need to figure out a way…
-
-
So, you observe.
Lady Dimitrescu is said to have three daughters, but only two come down into the dungeon to ‘play’ with their food. Cassandra and Daniela, their names are. You can tell a bit about their personalities from how they behave. Neither of them will be of any help to you for what you need.
But they are helpful in what they say about the third.
You hear of Bela from their complains and how ‘unfun’ she is. How she always waits for dinner despite their unquenchable thirst –“How does she stand it?” Daniela huffs— because she, apparently, hates her ‘snacks’ crying and thrashing as she feeds.
And that, you can use.
Question is, how will I communicate with someone that never comes here?
The universe seems to show some measure of mercy when it answers your inquiry for you.
One day, you hear the sound of determined footsteps followed by a strange rustling, as if something is being harshly dragged across the stone floor. Then, comes a foreign voice;
“Tried to escape, did you, stupid man-thing?” she asks, coming to a stop near your cell.
Your eyes catch a fleeting glimpse of the man she was dragging along. You recognize him –he is one of the few that used to talk to you before he went silent. You thought he was dead. Now… he really will be.
“Fuck you, you crazy fiends!” he shouts, his breathing erratic. “You and your whore mothe-” He doesn’t have the chance to finish his sentence.
You see only a blur;
Then Bela has smashed his head into a gory pulp against the wall. You gasp, damn near falling backwards from the shock. Your stomach lurches wildly at the sickening crack. Your heart almost stops beating right there. A headless corpse drops at her feet.
This is the one I hoped for?! The one who’s better than her sisters? Because so far she seems worse. You cannot get over how callously she crushed a man’s head, without so much as batting an eyelash—
Bela shakes the blood from her glove as if it disgusts her and turns around to leave the way she came.
You’ve lost your words after that display… but your gut knows you can’t also lose your chance.
So, you swallow down the crippling fear and repulse and grab at the bars trapping you. “Lady Bela, wait!” you call. Your voice is hoarse from unuse and exhaustion. God, I sound awful.
Her back tenses. The slow way she turns reminds you of a roused predator… and that can’t be good. Her voice doesn’t sound the least bit amused when it comes out, low and ominous:
“What did you say…?” She approaches your cell in regal, even steps. One by one, her features come into view past the shadows of her hood.
Blonde hair frames high cheekbones and a pointed chin; Cold yellow eyes, with the slightest touch of green at the edges of her irises, peer through you. If it wasn’t for the fresh, deep crimson staining her mouth and lower jaw, perhaps she could even be considered a decent-looking devil.
“Y-you are Bela…right?” Her gaze narrows the slightest bit. “Your sisters talk about you.” you’re not sure what you’re saying, but it seems to work when the ice in her stance breaks for a moment.
“All good things, I assume.” she half-rolls her eyes, the sarcasm in her voice hard to miss. “What’s it to you, human?”
You set your jaw, hold her gaze… and speak up. “I need a favor from you.”
Bela blinks. Then she chuckles, as if you’ve gone so crazy it’s funny to witness. “Well. Never heard that one, before.”
“I need to write a letter to my family.” you talk faster, now, growing desperate. “Please. From what I’ve heard, you’re the one most likely to listen. Let me have this and I’ll be in your debt. I’ll give you anything you want.”
In a sudden movement, Bela grabs at the iron bars right above your hands, rattling them with her inhuman strength. You are shocked to silence, yet you refuse to retreat.
“I can already take everything I want.” she states, matter-of-factly. “What could you possibly offer me in return for that favor?”
“I heard you don’t like the people you drink from to scream and thrash as you do. I’m sure the thirst gets bad at times…” you trail off. You can already see how tight her throat gets at the mention.
It’s a questionable move at best to tempt the wolf while she’s starving, but it’s also your only opportunity.
“And I’ve been told I taste quite good.” you lie.
Bela studies you from head to toe. Her expression doesn’t shift, but she seems to consider it. “A letter. That’s all you want.”
“Yes.” you reply. “After that, you can do whatever. I don’t care. Just one letter.” You plead with your eyes.
“…Alright. But I get to see what you write. And if there’s any hidden messages for help or information about my family, you die. On the spot.” Unlike her sisters, this one is definitely not messing around.
“Deal.” you nod.
-
-
You didn’t think Bela would take you out of the dungeons.
But she unlocks your cell, commands you to follow and leads you through luxurious, red-carpeted corridors, all the way to a quaint study. Judging from the ancient history and science books on the shelves, as well as the the neatly arranged office, you think it may be her own.
Bela motions for you to sit on the chair with a cock of her chin and places a sheet of paper and a pen in front of you.
“Get to it.” she orders –and hard as she tries not to show it, you can tell her impatience stems from her hunger.
It's easier said than done when your fingers start shaking as soon as you address your mother. Tears well up at the corners of your eyes, stinging hot, like ashes from a flame caught within your lids. You are endlessly thankful your fringe hides your vulnerability from her. You do not want her to see you cry. Yet the cracks in you are spreading, you’re breaking—
“Are you going to write anything or…?” she prods after a while of you being so emotionally choked you cannot will forth a single word.
“How am I supposed to write anything with you looming over me like that?” you ask, a tad snappy, then wonder if this is the end for you.
Bela, however, just tsks and pushes off the desk, giving you space. That… was unexpected.
Woman up. You inwardly chastise. It won’t be convincing for your story if your letter ends up with tear stains all over it. You aren’t doing this for you. You remind yourself. It’s for them. It’s all for them.
You need to break your family’s heart to make sure it keeps beating, when yours stops.
Keeping that in mind, there is no sentimentality in your words as you write them. You are cold, cold as the winters in Romania.
You tell your parents about how they stifled your dreams of leaving your small hometown to pursue your passion. That you finally left to make your life through your music, out in the grand world. You write that you’ll think of them and love them forever, but you are never coming back. At the end, you apologize to your younger sister for leaving her and wish her the best in life.
I’m sorry, Anna. I’m so sorry. Your vision blurs at that part and you couldn’t write more if you tried. But, you suppose, this is enough for them to despise you.
Wordlessly, you push the letter towards Bela when she comes back.
“Your handwriting is very… loopy.” she comments, upon the first glance.
“Thank…you…?”
When you look up at her, you realize something is different. Her hood is down and she has cleaned herself of the blood that made her look like a fiend. And she’s—
…surprisingly good-looking. You don’t want to think the word gorgeous. She’s just fairly… pretty.
Pretty stunning.
Her brow furrows more the further down she reads. There’s a small line on her forehead, right where the strange, rose-like tattoo the daughters share ends. The expression would almost be cute, if she were any normal girl.
“Are you sure this is what you want sent to your family?” she asks when she lowers the paper, staring at you.
“I’m sure.” you say. “This is for the best. I just need to know that the letter will reach them.”
“It will. I’ll take it to your door myself, when I’m able.” You shouldn’t trust a single word any of them says, yet there’s something about her that feels… reliable.
“I suppose that settles it, then.” you nod. “Where do you want me?” you’re too tired, physically and mentally, to consider all the implications of your words as you say them.
It could be a trick of the moonlight, but you think Bela’s eyes widen for a moment. “On… the couch.” she replies, perhaps a fraction less authoritatively than before.
As gracefully as you can manage in your state of malnutrition, you rise from the chair to take a seat at the cushions, with your back turned to her. You reach up to guide your hair away from the left side of your neck, baring it for her like a tribute.
The couch dips when she sits behind you. Her body feels cold in comparison to your warmed skin. Your heart is pounding like a war drum. You are terribly anxious, yet you swallow the fear down. It doesn’t matter if you die here or five days from now. You’ve come to terms with the notion you won’t last.
Bela will keep her word –you trust that she will— so you keep yours. You stay perfectly still as you feel the predator lean closer, her chest pressed lightly against your shoulders.
She could be faster about the whole process, you muse. Because the way her hands trail up your arms to curl around your biceps and the way her lips barely graze your neck are almost insufferably intimate; and your body is starting to react to the sensation of an attractive girl’s mouth hovering over your skin.
Even if she’s a blood-drinking, unfeeling killer. That part doesn’t seem to turn you off enough right now.
“It’s going to hurt. Don’t. Move.” There’s a little warning growl adrift in her voice.
“My word is gold.” you promise.
You can almost feel Bela’s smirk on the spot right above your pulse and you valiantly resist to urge to shiver.
“Good girl.” she speaks and why on God’s green earth did she have to say that—
Luckily, you don’t have time to grow any further confused. The aching warmth you felt is sharply replaced by searing pain. Her canines feel longer –too long— as they pierce through your flesh like it’s no more resistant than butter. You tense but you bite on your tongue not to make a sound.
Bela exhales a sigh of pure relief, which soon turns into a moan. Despite your predicament, that does things to you. You wonder how the hell you can even be aroused when it feels like someone is shoving icy nails deep into your neck and draining your blood through them.
You can’t tell how long it lasts, but it surely feels like a fraction of eternity even though it can’t be more than a few minutes. You are lightheaded by the time Bela pulls back and presses a soft white napkin to the punctures.
You dare unlock your muscles enough to turn around and look at her. She’s licking her lips like a satisfied cat, looking much more relaxed than the entire hour you’ve known her.
“Apply pressure for a while. You did so good, by the way.” Her little smile seems almost uncharacteristic. You guess there’s some sort of vampire high following blood consumption.
You, on the other hand, feel like death. You do wonder, though, what’s the deal with her specific drinking tastes. …Oh shit. Did I say that out loud?
“Do you like your food to wiggle and yell as you eat it?” she asks, simply.
Well. That… makes sense, if you think about it.
“You look ready to pass out. Also, your blood sugar is low.” Bela continues. “I could take you back to the dungeons to wait until you’re made into wine… But. I think it’s best for both of us if I kept you around here.”
“Wait. You mean…?” you slur. Words are getting harder to voice.
“You’ll work as a maid in the castle. There are rules to follow and a strict work schedule, but you’ll have your own chambers, good food and some free time. Preferable to wasting away in a moldy cell, in my opinion.”
Wasting away in finery then, hm? You want to ask. You’re sure your eyes betray your thoughts, but right now a bed does sound wonderful. “You make it sound so generous, being your go-to snack.” you huff.
Bela gives you a smirk and tilts your chin towards her with a gloved finger underneath it. “Better than being dead, wouldn’t you agree, little songbird?”
You do not really have a choice. Both of you are aware you don’t, but the fact you are at least presented with the illusion of one must count for something. So, you nod. You accept.
All of these books are queer, but they all have back blurbs that don’t say they’re queer. While this can be a pain if I’m scouting for queer SFF, it can come in handy for people in a situation where they don’t want to be reading queer books openly.
Please do note that I don’t have hard copies of the books on hand so it’s possible that an author quote or something mentions one being queer (I feel like this isn’t super likely, but I don’t want to rule it out). Some might also have author biographies mentioning that the author is queer. Also, some may be shelved as LGBT on Goodreads or categorized as queer on Amazon. So if you’re planning on asking for any of these as holiday gifts, I would suggest going to the Amazon page or where ever your relative is likely to buy it from and double check that it’s something you’d be comfortable with sharing openly.
I wish I had more pansexual books, but the ones I know of tend to mention queerness in the back description.
With the exception of The Spy with the Red Balloon, these are all books I have read or are currently reading. If you want to recommend others, feel free to do so in the replies!
You can find my other queer book recommendations here.
Links to the queer books database (or Goodreads if the book hasn’t been added yet) are available below the cut. You can find information on content warnings there.
Edit 6/26/20: I no longer recommend Ancestral Night or The Stone in the Skull by Elizabeth Bear.
i feel like this song from Stakes (everything stays) is good at describing the relationship between these two… while they were apart, they changed, and they grew as people, but the spark and their love was still there waiting when they were ready to try again. i’m so happy!!
Same goes for you Men. If your ex leaks photos of your dick or any videos you sent her, you can sue too. Yea, giving the photos with consent is Aight, but spreading them around and “exposing” Ain’t it chief
people say “if you don’t lower your standards, you’re gonna end up spending your whole life alone!” like being a healthy, happy, financially independent single adult is actually worse than being stuck in an abusive and/or emotionally unfulfilling relationship with someone who isn’t willing/able to meet your needs. like no offense, but I think I’m gonna choose to be happy rather than throwing myself into a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship.
in case you are still ignorant about what’s happening in India right now, here’s a link to numerous articles from news agencies highlighting it for you.
the first incident that sparked it off was in Hathras, a city in the state of Uttar Pradesh. a Dalit woman was gang raped almost two weeks ago but the case didn’t gain any major media coverage because it was, apparently, “normal”. she died a few days ago, and the Uttar Pradesh police cremated her body in the middle of the night at 2:40 AM without the consent of her family. they were locked inside their house and not allowed to see their daughter for one last time.
The Wire travels to the house of the Dalit victim in a village dominated by upper caste Thakur households.
The woman's death after she was gang raped allegedly by upper-caste men has caused huge anger in India.
a minor was kidnapped and gang raped by three men in Madhya Pradesh a day after the young woman from Hathras died and was cremated without her family’s consent.
A minor girl was kidnapped from her house and gang-raped by three men in a field in Madhya Pradesh's Khargone district, police said today, e
Bulandshahr, another city in Uttar Pradesh; a man raped a 14 year old girl. another example of blatant incompetence by the government.
A minor girl was allegedly raped by her neighbour in Uttar Pradesh's Bulandshahr, police said on Wednesday.
these are the statistics of India presently. 87 rape cases are reported per day in Uttar Pradesh alone. PER DAY. that’s only the people who actually gathered up the courage to approach law enforcement, or what is left of it, anyway.
India recorded an average 87 rape cases every day in 2019 and 4,05,861 cases of crimes against women during the year -- a rise of over seven
Balrampur, Uttar Pradesh. a young woman is drugged and gang raped, and loses her life. she is mutilated and left for dead. one day after what happened in Hathras. one day.
Amid outrage in the country over the gang rape and death of a young woman in Uttar Pradesh's Hathras, another similar case has been reported
Azamgarh, Uttar Pradesh. an 8 year old girl is raped. this incident happens one day after Hathras. just one day.
A 20-year-old man allegedly raped an eight-year-old girl in a village in Azamgarh district of Uttar Pradesh, the police said on Wednesday.
here’s coverage from the BBC, if you are wary of domestic news agencies. i think CNN covered it, but other than that, i haven’t heard of any major international agencies that have talked about this yet.
The latest incident comes just as another woman died this week after being allegedly gang raped.
this is crucial. this is critical. this is atrocious. this might not be the brand of aesthetic that you have on your blog, but please help the people of our country spread this news. let the utter incompetence and evidence tampering to save the accused on the part of the police and the government be highlighted. let everyone know that the people currently in power care nothing for women or for minorities until it sparks national outrage, and then, and only then, do they even consider breaking a silence on a topic they should have spoken out on and taken the strictest action possible against so long ago.
i will do my best to keep this updated, but it is so emotionally and mentally exhausting, waking up every day to horror after horror and knowing that the government is doing nothing to help, has never done anything to help.
please make sure this news reaches as many people as possible. please, speak up. please keep talking about this. don’t let them fade away as yet another statistic.
Biological sex is not and has never been a binary. The complexity of the natural world cannot be contained in neat little societal boxes. Stop using science to justify your bigotry.
Since I haven’t seen this floating around tumblr, at least in english, I decided to post myself. The wetlands region called “ Pantanal” in Brazil has recorded the fires in southwest Brazil, raged across an estimated 7,861 square miles between January and August, according to an analysis conducted by NASA for The New York Times, based on a new system to track fires in real time using satellite data. That’s an area slightly larger than New Jersey.
The enormous fires — often set by ranchers and farmers to clear land, but exacerbated by unusually dry conditions in recent weeks burnt more than 10% of the entire biome, including 32% of the “Private Reserve of Natural Heritage (RPPN) Sesc Pantanal”, the largest in the country. With that, nature and animals are profoundly suffering. Several species are being found burned or charred - among them - snakes, lizards, tortoises, alligators, anteaters, monkeys and many others that inhabit the Pantanal.
President Jair Bolsonaro — whose policies have prioritized economic development over environmental protections, has not declare or took a stance about the fires however there’s a video circulating that shows his reaction when someone asked “Is Pantanal on fire?” he laughed. Below I’ll leave links of NGOS that are accepting donations and a petition link to pressure our government about. Ps: Most of this donations are set in Reais (R$) but be aware that our currency is very undervalued so our exchange rate is lower than it ought to be (Ex: 1 dollar = 5,32 reais / 1 euro = 6,31 reais ) + if you need any guidance (since all links are in portuguese, feel free to reach me out)
PETITION TO PRESSURE BRAZILIAN GOVERNMENT
COMITIVA ESPERANÇA ( via pagseguro, the left one is to donate a basket of good and the right link is to donate any amount of money)
SOSPANTANAL ( instagram )
AMPARA ANIMAL ( there’s a english version available )
INSTITUTO ARARA AZUL ( paypal )
ECOA ( paypal )
ONÇAFARI ( pagseguro )
SAVE PANTANAL !
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