Smile, You’re Being Watched.

Ace :) (He/They/She) Feel free to message me whenever:)

[custard-cream-queen]

I MISSED SALAD DAY 😭

[custard-cream-queen]

Top 10 things my friends have said to me - 2025

10 - “Siri, I’m going to fuckin’ chin you.” ~ 20/03

9 - “I don’t want your junky change” ~ 31/12

8 - “Have you ever been eaten by a sket betetti soodle” ~ 01/11

7 - “I love my water, I love my vodka, and I love my decaf tea” ~ 25/11

6 - “Can I be honest? In this moment this monster is more attractive than you” ~ 10/11

5 - “If you won’t peg me, the least you could do is suck my toes” ~ 05/12

4 - “I’d give you my liver, but not my library card.” ~ 04/10

3 - “They’re gonna want me to shit out a child, and I’m not doin that” ~ 11/11

2 - “We thought we should be congratulating Ace for being off the Booze… they’re actually just doing Meth.” ~ 27/08

And first place goes to:-

“I thought he got it from the shops. But no! He went to the back garden and shot Henrietta the third!!” ~ J, 22/12

There were a total of 47 quotes noted down in ‘25, I think I need to get the three of them sectioned.

[custard-cream-queen]

Funny things my lecturers have said.

Year 2, Semester 1

“I am as hard as nails.”

“Don’t shoot me please… but you have permission to shoot (other lecturer)”

“Can I sit down?”

“That’s a fine word - Tuesday, 9am - Decapitated!”

“A pathologist’s objective is to GAG”

“If you wanna go home and have cramping sex with your neighbour? Fine.”

“You get soup in the body bag. They get served to us in soup!”

“Any comments on that? - Put it in the bin”

“I’m often scared to get in the car with my mother… she’s a terrible driver.”

“I’m a bit stressed out by this, there’s something weird going on here.”

Join me again in a couple months for the next instalment :>

[custard-cream-queen]

Average Tyler Joseph candid shot

[custard-cream-queen]

Limited edition book of bill detail

Just thought it was funky

[sourvape-deactivated20251109]

Why do we say “slept like a baby” when babies literally wake up screaming every two hours?

I want to sleep like a middle-aged dad who “rests his eyes” during a Marvel movie and wakes up refreshed, confused, and ready to barbecue.

[casualfoxwitch]

[my-dailydreams]

[custard-cream-queen]

Guys… what if it’s a cycle..?

(!TMA SPOILERS!)

Like what if at the end of our universe of TMA the fears left yes… but what if the reason why choose whatever universe they go into is because the archivist in that universe has just been used by his big bad boss to do the watchers crown…

I mean the walls between universes is already not the strongest thing, so the fears reaching into from the ‘other side’ is just them in another universe branching out because they’ve realised that it’s gonna be taken by the end or they’re just being greedy lil guys?

So in every universe the Web is always aware, the web is interconnected (get it? Like a web??) with the other universes and in a way Annabelle Cane is the Webs version of Jon’s ‘archivist’ role,

Because you cannot manipulate if you cannot see.

Anyways, I’m at work and not working so I should go do that :>

[secondlina]

Check out my ongoing comic Crow Time. It has crows, and also neat pantheons of epic beasties.

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[custard-cream-queen]

Get panopticoned, Idiot.

~ Jonah Magnus, at some point.

[jupik-obecny]

"I can be a home for what loves me..."

"i asked chatgpt-" well i asked the wasp nest in my attic, its song is loud and beautiful and i am afraid but it still called u a bitch

anyway a new tarot piece! i think i might've died on this one, yay. i couldn't let go of the black n white version so imma add it here just for myself. jane is one of my faves in terms of statements, so i just had to include her. also still not sure if i should just throw jonah as the emperor.

anyway yea, in my attic, straight up jorkin it. and by "it", heh, let's just say there is a wasps nest in my attic

[jethroq]

just remember, tense your shoulders, grit your teeth, take rapid shallow breaths and say to yourself ”oh shit, oh fuck, this is all my fault”

[5-5-onperiodictable]

- Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London

[billielhindle]

I have a “Magnus park.” There is a park I walked to a lot while listening to TMA for research. To this day when I go I think: “oh this is bench I sat on when Mike Crew showed up. Here is the rock I stood by when Jon smashed up the table. Here is the tree I sat under while I listened to Elias Bouchard bludgeon Jurgen Leitner’s skull into a bloody pulp with a lead pipe.”

Ah, memories.

[custard-cream-queen]

Oh! At my old job I have the same! There's the corner where the homophobic vase ate that guys husband! And the end of the hall I was mopping while the concept of the extinction was presented to Jon! Or the other end of the hall where a guy read a book about his own death!

[in-snakes-and-time]

season 1: I'm Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of Magnus Institute, London. My professional opinion is that this is all horseshit and everyone that isn't me needs psychiatric help. Statement ends.

season 2: Supplemental: God lives inside the printer and he keeps telling me my assistants are murderers. I am inclined to believe him based on the fact that Martin told to have a nice day. Innately suspicious behavior.

season 3: My only friends are my ex-girlfriend, her cat, and the many scars I've gotten from various monsters and fear cultists.

season 4: You know, just being socially adept would solve a lot of my problems. Unfortunately, I was traumatized so thoroughly by age eight that I learned the best way to make friends is to blink at them slowly until they get the idea. This does not work when your evil patron god uses eyeballs to devour fear.

season 5: Either Jonah Magnus tells us where he took all the good cows, or my boyfriend and I bash his head in with a lead crowbar. It's his choice.

[alanaisalive]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[iguanamouth]

oh shit

[throughshadow-to-the-edgeofnight]

[alanaisalive]

As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.

[docd666]

Y'all know what to do Tumblr.

[official-penis-posts]

NESSIE BEAR TRAMP STAMP! NESSIE BEAR TRAMP STAMP!

[purelunaris]

CMON YALL

@gh0stom @talesofferalion @dragonlancesiren @thefandomlifechoseme @thatonezephyr @spud-sys @kelpseahorse @autophobiastar @vampiricbisexuality @viridianv0id @radioactive-yuri

[custard-cream-queen]

A conversation I had this morning

(For context I listen to paranormal horror podcasts to get to sleep, my current one is Malevolent, I stayed over at theirs last night.)

My friend: All I remember from your gay podcast last night was the gay demon shouting "ARTHUR! NOO!!" A rather large amount.

Me: yeah.. that's the whole podcast. Well that and Arthur whimpering a lot.

My friend (nodding): ah yes. I do also recall a lot of whimpering.