That Hurts, Varric. That's Hurtful. @daarntootin - Tumblr Blog

The way Brennnan says "lovey" as Garthy should be outlawed it does funny things to my chest

#how do I convince my bf to call me lovey v gently and play with my hair

reblog this and tag with a food you no longer have access to (closed restaurant, state you moved away from, ex’s mom’s cooking, etc) that will haunt you until your dying day, mine are the spicy chicken sandwich on the employee menu at the fine dining restaurant I was a prep cook at, and the onion bagel from the kosher place down the street from my house when I lived in the city

#there was and maybe there still is a small Italian restaurant in the Tampa FL area called Gus's #my great aunt and uncle lived nearby and this restaurant Jesus Christ oh my fucking god #like everything on the menu was good not great but good EXCEPT #THIS FUCKING SPAGHETTI SAUCE OH MY GOD #WE'D PAY MY GREAT AUNT TO SHIP JARS OF IT UP TO OHIO #WE'D HEAT IT UP AND EAT WITH JUST BREAD BECUASE LIKE GOOD GOD IT WAS GREAT ON SPAGHETTI BUT WE JUST WANTED TO SHOVEL IT INTO OUR MOUTHS #LIKE WE DIDNT EVEN TOAST THE BREAD WE JUST USED IT AS SPOONS

currentlycryingaboutlancelot

today I learned that in 2008, the city council of florence overturned dante’s sentence of execution if he returned from exile. yes, dante’s inferno dante, who died in 1321.

but the funniest part of this is not that they were debating the exile of a man who has been dead for over 500 years.

the funniest part is that the vote was 19-5. five people voted to uphold dante’s exile.

You ever just think to yourself "Ah I'll just give it a little trim" the night before an OB/GYN appointment and then come to an hour later looking like a Ken doll and your bathroom smelling strongly of chemical hair remover?

No?

Hm.

Posting this here so my family won't accidentally read this;

I have been in love with Natalie Portman since I was a child and they gave her mjolnir and I just want her to hit me like one time just one just right across the face so hard you know?????? She's just so strong and smart and pretty and I'd say thank you

At the risk of sounding like the 16 year old version of me that I'd sworn never return to; does anyone have a gif from episode one of Our Flag Means Death when Jim is sharpening a knife? I need it for Reasons. Reasons that simply are not related to the audible gasp I made when that scene occurred and I for one am offended at the accusation.

#our flag means death #OFMD #jim jimenez

Have any of my other POTS bitches triggered their symptoms by standing while trying to braid their own hair? Or is this a burden I alone must bear?

Listen the me right now and the me who filtered AO3 down to explicit only are not the same person and I simply cannot be held responsible for what she looked at

#like listen #listen #I will deny my AO3 history on the pain of death you hear me???#sometimes tho you gotta scratch an itch!!!!!#if that itch is Geralt of Rivia just violently owning Y/N who could blame me for that!!!!!!!

memewhore

casa-de-cadejo-deactivated20220

lol this slaps

thesylverlining

HOLD BABY JESUS RANSOM UNTIL ST. ANTHONY RETURNS YOUR FREAKING KEYS

ibroughtyoumybullets

sunday is just i have to set my computer on fire i have to do laundry i have to find god i have to make tea i have to quit my job and start a new life in a different state i have to be more honest with the people around me i have to clean my room i have to cut my hair i have to be more deliberate with my hobbies and downtime i have to make a doctors appointment i have to go back to therapy i have to start dating i have to make more friends i have to go on a long drive i have to spend 4 hours disassociating in a target i have to paint my nails i have to tell my mother i love her. but instead i will simply sit.

mcsqu1bb

My autistic brother created a new family Christmas tradition

Okay, so last year, my mom bought this Christmas moose that she lovingly named Barry

This is him

Cute, right?

Well, for whatever reason only known to my brother, he decided that he wanted to put Barry in different rooms of our house and it usually scares the shit out of whomever happens upon Barry; usually the person who finds him is the person that my brother wanted to scare.

So far, Barry has been found

On our dining room table

On my dad's side of my parents' bed

In my parents' closet

Outside their bedroom door (at 5 in the morning and scared my mother shitless)

Near the kitchen door

Near my fucking bed

At the bottom of my sister's stairwell

In our bathroom

And down the hallway

This has gone on for 9 days and it doesn't seem to show signs of stopping. Most of the time we know who gets Barry because it's always followed with a very loud "FUCKING BARRY!!!!!"

My brother is the funniest fucking person I know.

mcsqu1bb

Update:

He found his way into my sister's room.

And my brother is cackling maniacally downstairs.

mcsqu1bb

Holy fuck this doll is creepy

mcsqu1bb

Another update:

The soft glow of the Christmas tree seems to quell his bloodlust

thesaltofcarthage

vote to replace the evil surveillance Elf on the Shelf with Barry the Chrismoose

annethecatdetective

Broke: Elf on the Shelf Woke: Moose on the Loose

altafpatel

How to spot signs and symptoms of Breast Cancer

claireslash

Reblog to literally save a life

maximasmac

whish they told us this in school, all they did was say “feel for lumps, you will know when you feel it”

jannas-little-theatre-kid-deact

thanks

daarntootin

Do a self check at the same time every month! Your breast tissue changes throughout your normal hormonal cycle, so doing a check every time you shower isn't super helpful, but just feeling around and scoping shit out at the time every month will give you a much better idea of what's happening in your body.

dwgif

DOCTOR WHO (2005-) “Turn Left” (4.11)

LISTEN ALL IM SAYING IS THAT CHARLIE COC HAS NO RIGHT TO LOOK SO HOT ALL BEAT UP AND BLOODY

brockpkmn-deactivated20221115

ok but legitimately i think the reason why kids aren’t taking internet safety seriously is because the people who are telling us not to put our personal information out seem so out of touch. no one acknowledges the possibility of meeting very real teenaged friends online, they always say that everyone you meet is a 40 year old white man in disguise. because they aren’t acknowledging things we know are true, it becomes a lot easier to dismiss the rest of what they’re saying as well. internet safety lessons absolutely must keep up with the times and acknowledge the internet’s capacity for good if you want kids to take to heart warnings about its capacity for bad.

ajthebumblebee

Some actual safety tips for teenagers:

1. Have proof they're a teenager first. More than just a picture, have a video call with them.

2. If you want to meet up with them, have your parents or a trusted adult come with you. Even if they are a proven teenager, its still good to have supervision in case any issues happen.

3. If you are talking to an adult, and they start being sexual in any way, you run the fuck away. It doesn't matter if they're 40 or 20. An adult inherently has a power dynamic that teenagers do not. And its up to the adult to act responsible about it. There's exceptions of course, if you're 16 and dating an 18 year old, that's not a problem, we're not talking about that.

4. Being in a server with adults or ran by adults is not inherently bad. Talking to adults is not inherently a problem, and will likely happen in any number of Discord servers. It is only an issue when they are acting sexual and show predatory behavior.

5. Look out for grooming behavior. It can be difficult, because at first it seems like innocuous behavior, like complimenting or giving gifts. Especially if you feel lonely and have low self esteem. And groomers actively target people like that.

If they start trying to isolate you, talk sexual with you, state they depend on you for emotional needs, blame you for their own actions, try to be secretive about the relationship- Then you need to talk to people you trust, block the perpetrator, and call the police on them.

6. If this does happen to you, remember this: It is not your fault. Even if you didn't listen to a single thing listed here, it is not your fault. It is the fault of the adults who knew better, and didn't care. It's not your fault.

tomboyjessie13

To my followers: if any of you guys are underaged, please be very VERY careful on here, and don’t fall for any of the tricks the groomer would use on you, just block them and report them.

daarntootin

If you're interacting with an adult as a minor, talk to a trusted safe adult about them, like you would any other friend. The thing about being groomed is that it's nigh on impossible to know that it's happening until it's too late because you're in it, but an adult outside of it will notice faster and can help sort of safety ripcord you out if needed. If you feel like you can't talk to an adult about this person and/or the way they talk to you, red flag. Gigantic red flag, it's time to block them go full ghost as hard as it is do not worry about their feelings, they're an adult and they'll get over it.